Overcoming FEAR is easy when you know how...

[Cappo Yung]

Dopamine for my brain, Now I’m unstoppable! .

 

[Lynx nkaf]

It is not an object or an experience that we fear, but the pain that comes with realizing both our weaknesses and the enormity of what we are attempting.

It is this pain that we run from and back to an existence we have mastered into effortlessness.

Fear makes you realise there's times you must DELAY the anticipated pain until you're stronger in other areas of your life.
The significance of DELAY ---->it is a powerful success technique used in play for hockey and basketball players, amongst other athletes, for example.

 

[CopperHead]

Fear makes you realise there's times you must DELAY the anticipated pain until you're stronger in other areas of your life.
The significance of DELAY ---->it is a powerful success technique used in play for hockey and basketball players, amongst other athletes, for example.

Delaying causes anxiety. When you are in a fearful situation you have 3 choices. Face the fear head on, freeze up, or run away. If you don't face you fear head on the first time it arises, then you will become more anxious about it the second time. Your brain justifies you running away and comes up with reasons as to why you made the right decision. The more times you avoid your fears the more anxious you will be about them. This is how people develop phobias and anxiety disorders.

 

[Seductions_Mad_Scientist]

What is fear besides a 4 letter word? Fear is that voice which tells you what you should and shouldn't do. It's the voice that tells you to avoid talking to that hot chick or to run away from problems in your life.

The way I see it, fear is like a bully that tries to intimidate you. The more you listen to it and become a slave to it. The harder and stronger it comes onto you. But if you'll stand up to it, it dissappears. Because it knows it has no power over you.

It has been said by many wise men over the years that fear is like an evil energy, which penetrates everyone who will allow it to! Picture yourself as a house, and all these enemies are trying to get in through your front door. If you stand up to them and tell them to get lost and lock the door. They leave. BUt if you leave the door wide open, in they come! They will hunt you and destroy your dreams!

The next time fear trys to stop you from walking over and talking to that girl accross the room. Say to yourself mentally "back off! I'm not listen to this crap!" and walk right through the fear! You will notice that the fear will grab you (psychologically) and hold you back! This is when you need to be really strong and pull forward and do what feel is in your best interests!


Rob

Awesome post bud!

I'd like to hear your guys thoughts on the idea that negative emotions in general are more valenced than positive emotions and how that relates to overactive fear.

ie - you feel worse losing a hundred bucks than you do finding a hundred bucks even though the arithmetic change is the same.

I've found personally that making time and effort to achieve balanced neutrality on a point is a great way to permanently get rid of fear. A few years ago I had really negative self talk and tat led me to be afraid of a lot of things i couldnt even imagine being afraid of now.

Cheers!

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Delaying causes anxiety. When you are in a fearful situation you have 3 choices. Face the fear head on, freeze up, or run away. If you don't face you fear head on the first time it arises, then you will become more anxious about it the second time. Your brain justifies you running away and comes up with reasons as to why you made the right decision. The more times you avoid your fears the more anxious you will be about them. This is how people develop phobias and anxiety disorders.

Yes. This makes sense.
Astute words.

 

[CopperHead]

Yes. This makes sense.
Astute words.

To tie this into dating. You see a woman you want to approach. You hesitate. Your mind starts thinking of things to say, but you can't figure out the right thing. Anxiety starts to build. Everything you think of sounds dumb. The woman leaves. You lose your chance. Now your brain starts to justify why you made the right decision not to approach. You're not good with women. She was out of your league. She would have just rejected you. Defeated you will be even more hesitant to approach the next time you see a woman. If you continue the cycle you will most likely stop thinking that approaching is even an option. This is why many pua's advise to approach within 3 seconds of seeing them.

 

[CopperHead]

Awesome post bud!

I'd like to hear your guys thoughts on the idea that negative emotions in general are more valenced than positive emotions and how that relates to overactive fear.

ie - you feel worse losing a hundred bucks than you do finding a hundred bucks even though the arithmetic change is the same.

I've found personally that making time and effort to achieve balanced neutrality on a point is a great way to permanently get rid of fear. A few years ago I had really negative self talk and tat led me to be afraid of a lot of things i couldnt even imagine being afraid of now.

Cheers!

If you think back to when humans were evolving the things that carried negative emotions often lead to death. The lose of resources for instance could directly lead to your death. Pain and fear are great motivators to not do something that can result in death.

You can use pain and fear to your advantage with some mindset adjustments. Men are afraid of approaching beautiful women because of the possible consequences it could have. They are afraid of rejection and the risk of social embarrassment. The trick is to refrain your thinking so that it seems more painful not to approach. This is where the phrase "the regret is worse than the rejection" comes in. If you can take that phrase to heart and truly believe it, it becomes more painful not to approach women. The other thing you want to do is write down all the possible negative consequences to not approaching. Being a virgin your entire life might be one. Never finding companionship. Take the list to heart and you become more afraid to not approach.

You can use this mental trick with your life and business goals. The next time you have a great idea or goal you want to accomplish, make a list of all the negative consequences associated with not pursuing the goal. Read the the list everyday, memorize it. Soon enough if it will be painful for you not to pursue that goal.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

To tie this into dating. You see a woman you want to approach. You hesitate. Your mind starts thinking of things to say, but you can't figure out the right thing. Anxiety starts to build. Everything you think of sounds dumb. The woman leaves. You lose your chance. Now your brain starts to justify why you made the right decision not to approach. You're not good with women. She was out of your league. She would have just rejected you. Defeated you will be more even more hesitant to approach the next time you see a woman. If you continue the cycle you will most likely stop thinking that approaching is even an option. This is why many pua's advise to approach within 3 seconds of seeing them.

Yes, I agree.
Even if I stumble over my words, its better to say something and say it soon.
I like Deangelo's 'character' idea.
My 'character' could easily be the nerdy, but sensuous/flirtateous.

I have regrets.
A few years ago at the mall, about half hour before closing.
I'm leaving and this hot, hot athlete comes in through the mall doors at the same time... so attractive, just vibrating sex.

I should have 'mistakenly' tripped into them then held onto them.
It occured to me to do this but I got that same heart pounding out of my freaking chest feeling and my mouth went dry like when I'm about to harvest a deer.

I am experienced with 'buck fever' now and am a successful hunter, but it took years. I anticipate cold approaching will take years of experience too.

At least I know that hot athletes come into the malls at the last minute.

 

[Seductions_Mad_Scientist]

If you think back to when humans were evolving the things that carried negative emotions often lead to death. The lose of resources for instance could directly lead to your death. Pain and fear are great motivators to not do something that can result in death.

You can use pain and fear to your advantage with some mindset adjustments. Men are afraid of approaching beautiful women because of the possible consequences it could have. They are afraid of rejection and the risk of social embarrassment. The trick is to refrain your thinking so that it seems more painful not to approach. This is where the phrase "the regret is worse than the rejection" comes in. If you can take that phrase to heart and truly believe it, it becomes more painful not to approach women. The other thing you want to do is write down all the possible negative consequences to not approaching. Being a virgin your entire life might be one. Never finding companionship. Take the list to heart and you become more afraid to not approach.

You can use this mental trick with your life and business goals. The next time you have a great idea or goal you want to accomplish, make a list of all the negative consequences associated with not pursuing the goal. Read the the list everyday, memorize it. Soon enough if it will be painful for you not to pursue that goal.

Exactly.

It's odd that I don't see this discussed more in general. If what I believe is true about negative information being more stressful than positive information being pleasurable then wouldn't it make sense to run a lot of your life choices through the filter of "Am I really being as objective as possible here? " and "Should I do X or not? " the default position should be maybe yes maybe no but I dont know until I learn.

It's funny because in certain contexts the pro's and con's of a situation are explicitly researched and modeled yet in other areas it isnt. A rational investor wouldn't dream of just pulling the trigger on an investment with 0 research.

Cognitive bias's man. So crazy!

Cheers