Came across an interesting post. Oneitis from a girl perspective.

[isasda66]

How can I experience attraction to more men

TLDR: how can I be attracted to more men so I don’t get stuck on one jerk for months?
I just dated this cute guy for a little over a month. He pursued me and acted super charming. We made out a lot but did not have sex. I took it slowly with him because he let me know that he had an STD.
Usually that in itself would be a dealbreaker for me, but I took it slowly with him because he was amazing. We had the same interests, career type and he was gorgeous. Then one day he let me know there’s no emotional connection and drops me. We never even slept together.
I’m really struggling to get over this because I felt like the attraction between us was unique and special, and I craved sex with him.
I’ve dated a lot of guys I’m just not attracted to so I’m used to losing interest in the physical stuff. How can I become attracted to more people and open myself to the possibility of a fulfilling sex life? I don’t want to be stuck on this guy, but I feel like I’ll rarely experience physical attraction like this again and my heart is shutting down.

Considering she hasnt fvcked him and the way she is obsessed over him (oneitis), I would like to meet that guy and learn from him. I always thought alpha widows were only after she has had s3x and an emotional roller coaster.

Thoughts.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

If you read between the lines here, the likely story is that she wasn’t that interested in him at all, despite what she says. At least, she wasn’t very interested in him while they were still dating. This is how I translate her woman-ese:

“I met this guy I was attracted to. He was alright I guess. Then when we were about to hook up, he was honest and told me he had an STD. That turned me off and from that moment forward I was really on the fence about him. I wouldn’t let him sleep with me for months because I just wasn’t sure about him. I considered dumping him but I couldn’t find anyone better during that time period so I kept him around to validate me. After a while of me not having sex with him, he finally got the hint that I wasn’t that into him and wouldn’t sleep with him so he dumped me. Now that he dumped me, I can’t get over him because he doesn’t want me!!! He’s so amazing, even though I didn’t think he was amazing enough to have sex with until he dumped me. Now I can’t stop obsessing over him because I want what I can’t have and it’s especially bad for me because I over-played my hand.”

You don’t need to find this guy to ask him what he did. You need to find him to high-five him for not allowing this girl to string him along, and for standing up for himself.

 

[isasda66]

LOL easy. The best way to make some women obsess over you is to dump them.

Obsess as long as he doesnt go back to her or accept her right. Once she knows she can have him she would get her validation and see him as ordinary.

Why obsess over something which never happened? I assume she can get another guy of the same SMV only now she thinks that because the guy rejected her his SMV is way too high and everyone else is gonna be perceived lower than that guy.

Looks like our STuD alpha widowed her without fvcking. Man I would love send him a 6 pack.

I thought so too, that its a case of her wanting what she cant have. Maybe he was the first guy to turn her down or accept her rejection compared to the simps and orbiters.

I dug a bit and apparently she sent him a nude and was sexting him a day or two before she was dumped. Also she seems to be in the epiphany phase cause she is 25 and looking at getting married. Guy realised she wasnt worth committing to.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Considering she hasnt fvcked him and the way she is obsessed over him (oneitis), I would like to meet that guy and learn from him. I always thought alpha widows were only after she has had s3x and an emotional roller coaster.

Thoughts.

He flipped the script, ‘not feeling emotional connection’ and withheld sexual validation.

A man who practices ejaculatory control can take this to another level.

Her description of ‘taking it slow’ is backward rationalization, she was dtf but he wasn’t and had responsible boundaries and protected her. A man with high standards and strong boundaries is highly desired, hence her ‘alpha widow’ experience.

 

[Redwolf]

If you read between the lines here, the likely story is that she wasn’t that interested in him at all, despite what she says. At least, she wasn’t very interested in him while they were still dating. This is how I translate her woman-ese:

“I met this guy I was attracted to. He was alright I guess. Then when we were about to hook up, he was honest and told me he had an STD. That turned me off and from that moment forward I was really on the fence about him. I wouldn’t let him sleep with me for months because I just wasn’t sure about him. I considered dumping him but I couldn’t find anyone better during that time period so I kept him around to validate me. After a while of me not having sex with him, he finally got the hint that I wasn’t that into him and wouldn’t sleep with him so he dumped me. Now that he dumped me, I can’t get over him because he doesn’t want me!!! He’s so amazing, even though I didn’t think he was amazing enough to have sex with until he dumped me. Now I can’t stop obsessing over him because I want what I can’t have and it’s especially bad for me because I over-played my hand.”

You don’t need to find this guy to ask him what he did. You need to find him to high-five him for not allowing this girl to string him along, and for standing up for himself.

This is exactly what happened. I seen this exact thing a few weeks ago between two coworkers.

This guy was pursuing this girl hard. They went out one time and she was luke warm to him. He ends up choosing to date a different girl. The first girl ends up all pissed because she lost him as an orbitor. She even told me "he wasn't even that cute".

She obviously wasn't that into him and he chose the girl that was.

 

[skinnyguy]

He flipped the script, ‘not feeling emotional connection’ and withheld sexual validation.

A man who practices ejaculatory control can take this to another level.

Her description of ‘taking it slow’ is backward rationalization, she was dtf but he wasn’t and had responsible boundaries and protected her. A man with high standards and strong boundaries is highly desired, hence her ‘alpha widow’ experience.

Yes, but only if he's good looking with a ton of options. An awkward guy who withholds sex won't be highly desired. The alpha in this story was able to do all of that because he wasn't desperate and had laid hundreds of women.

It's interesting how the man is always at fault. He drops her - he's a jerk. If a woman dumps a man, it's also his fault. For all we know, she was BPD and high maintenance. There is a reason he didn't feel an "emotional connection" and she's not saying what it is.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is exactly what happened. I seen this exact thing a few weeks ago between two coworkers.

This guy was pursuing this girl hard. They went out one time and she was luke warm to him. He ends up choosing to date a different girl. The first girl ends up all pissed because she lost him as an orbitor. She even told me "he wasn't even that cute".

She obviously wasn't that into him and he chose the girl that was.

And you see how that peaked her interest?

 

[sosousage]

Considering she hasnt fvcked him and the way she is obsessed over him (oneitis), I would like to meet that guy and learn from him. I always thought alpha widows were only after she has had s3x and an emotional roller coaster.

Thoughts.

so shes ugly to average and got dropped by cute boy type chad uhuh

 

[Redwolf]

And you see how that peaked her interest?

It was pretty interesting seeing her being pissed over a guy she wasn't that into.

 

[Alvafe]

Considering she hasnt fvcked him and the way she is obsessed over him (oneitis), I would like to meet that guy and learn from him. I always thought alpha widows were only after she has had s3x and an emotional roller coaster.

Thoughts.

I would say she is having a oneitis, she is having a huge hit on her ego, he dropped her, with in a girly way of droping guys, she just can't stand this, you guys need to understand womana nd men think diferently, men are more willing to think in others, woman will think on what benefit her the most, woman thinking you ahve options will amke her want you more, woman when droped will take a hit on her ego and will be crazy because of it, because in the back of her mind she lost to another woman.