The trouble is that I am trying not to reveal as much on purpose since women dont like stuff they know everything about (I am trying to be bit mysterious in a way).
What is the golden ratio here? I suppose I need to share more of myself with them but I dont know to what degree for me to stop being interesting.
It's a really good question actually.
On one hand, people are told to let the woman do most of the talking, remain mysterious, and don't validate her.
On the other hand, people are told not to turn the conversation into an interview and to build connection.
You can apply a framework at first until you get used to how it looks/feels. I will give you a framework to use.
The important things are that you need to lead the conversation, you need to get her emotions involved because women are emotional, you need to share something relateable about yourself, and you ONLY give praise when it is deserved.
Start with a general high-level question, then drill down to something more specific, then make it personal and then relate something about yourself to it.
Here is an example:
You (leading, and being general): Are you into music?
Her: Yeah, I listen to it a lot and I even play an instrument
You (getting specific): Oh yeah? What instrument do you play?
Her: I play classic rock that I adapt to be played on pipe organs
You (validating because it's deserved, and now getting personal): Wow, that's really unique! How does it feel to play that kind of music on such an unusual instrument?"
Her: "Oh it's incredible because on one hand, you have this massive instrument that was made hundreds of years before rock came and on the other hand.... etc etc etc"
You (if you didn't validate in the previous step, if her last response was worthy of it, you could validate here. otherwise here is where relate): I played the trumpet when I was young. I was good too.... I should have kept it up but I guess I had other things on my mind when I got to high school
Note that to make it personal - you want to try to ask her how something makes her FEEL. Another example is:
Do you have a big family?
Yeah it's huge?
How many siblings do you have?
6!
That's a lot! I grew up with only one sibling.... I can't imagine having 6! Tell me what that was like for you! <--- this is where her emotions get involved.
This isn't "how to get girls". This is normal conversation framework that you probably already apply when you talk to people you know and are comfortable with. But thanks to biology, men forget how to think, talk, walk, breathe, and swallow when around an attractive woman, so using this framework to get you in the groove with women in conversation helps put you at ease in order to push past the barrier you have. Once you do it a handful of times, it will become second-nature again. You can use this framework when talking to anyone, male friends, parents, store clerks. Try it and see.
