Is She a Calamity?

[MrWood]

women derive special emotions to things that penetrate and stimulate... leaving a mark on the spirit and soul, and to whom created those emotions in her.

All me experience tells me (that most) women who were tattooed by lovers are emotionally attached in very deep and dark ways.

 

[D.Roger]

@MrWood that is incredibly interesting.
Can you explain more about it?

She told me that she couldn't have sex with the tattoo guy, she stopped seeing him that way, but she felt a deep connection with him, more like companionship for life. She only wanted in a sexual way the mma dude.
Could be an explanation of not breaking up with one for the other.

Wow I am starting to think that she is really sick in many ways.
I ll stay in the present and have fun with her, but it's a life or death situation to not fall for her.

 

[GioWolf]

Sounds like she is possibly Cluster B. Have fun, enjoy her company, hell even fall for her a little. But it's not an IF, it's a WHEN, she's going to hurt you one day. Just expect it and be prepared, don't loose your cool when it happens. Don't give up your plates for a oneitis.

 

[jaymbrs]

Tat between breasts and near other private areas is an easy giveaway a woman's a wh0re. Tattoos and piercings are for showing off. No one wants to hide artwork. I take it she's shown her tits to who the **** knows how many guys and probably didn't stop there.

 

[D.Roger]

Tat between breasts and near other private areas is an easy giveaway a woman's a wh0re. Tattoos and piercings are for showing off. No one wants to hide artwork. I take it she's shown her tits to who the **** knows how many guys and probably didn't stop there.

After you guys pointing out that tattoos are a red flag, I thought the one between her breasts could be a sign of insecurity because they are small.

I get your point also.

I asked her about them today, she told me they mean nothing, they are just drawings she likes.
Her first one is a small sun on her back, which has liberta written in it.
It's the only one she didn't get from her ex. She got that at 17. That's truly a red flag.

 

[D.Roger]

And her feelings gone for both of them simultaneously?
She either got numb from depression and it's going to come back really hard or she is lying.

Why isn't it possible for her to feel nothing for them?
Aren't women much faster at getting over breakups than us?

Maybe her duality had both of them connected, beta provisioning and alpha breeding.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Why isn't it possible for her to feel nothing for them?
Aren't women much faster at getting over breakups than us?

Maybe her duality had both of them connected, beta provisioning and alpha breeding.

It might just be fun for her.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

I think it's important to give women a chance. Many of the men here, including myself, have changed a lot - worked through a lot of stuff and changed our mindsets, improved ourselves, etc. It IS possible for women to do the same thing.

However, having said that, I would say there is probably a 1% chance this girl has done any work to improve herself. Have you asked her if she's done any work on herself?

If she's spent time by herself and not in a relationship (a couple of years and happy being alone) then yes, she has worked on herself.

From what the OP says, this isn't the case.


@D.Roger

It appears that you're getting a majority of your info from the gossip mill, which includes a bunch of morass of other people's stuff, just so you know. As for being a straight up guy, make your decisions on how she is treating you, your direct experience and relationship to her.

People can change, often it's our listening that allows that to happen. That's why it's easier to change when one has a new circle of friends, those people do not 'listen' to you according to your past behaviors and you have the freedom to call-in an expanded being or next evolutionary version of yourself without excessive resistance.

The daddy issue is a tough one, it is deeply connected to a women's sense of self-esteem, worthiness and deservedness. Being that you are about to go into your saturn return yourself, these next couple of years are formative. You either get clear of the current direction you are going and full steam ahead or you question your path and explore more fulfilling alternatives. The fact that you have 4 plates and she is the 5th means you are more focused on pvssy than really applying yourself in a larger purpose for your life. There's nothing wrong with that and it is quite fun enjoying your party years, however most include drugs and alcohol and for better or worse years pass by and the plates you are spinning include yourself in a dead-end situation.

Back to the self-esteem issue, unless you actively build hers, most likely than not, she (or you) will self-sabotage when things are better than you imagine them to be. Human beings are funny that way.

One of the best ways to increase self-esteem and deservedness is to volunteer for a charity or cause that serves those who have less than you. It's the self-less giving/gifting of one's time (expecting nothing in return) that shifts something deep internally. This shift allows for 'more' good to flow into one's life with ease, flow and grace.

May you experience good fortune.

 

[D.Roger]

It might just be fun for her.

You mean fun playing with the 2 of them?
Like she felt nothing and just had fun in a situation like this?

One of the best ways to increase self-esteem and deservedness is to volunteer for a charity or cause that serves those who have less than you. It's the self-less giving/gifting of one's time (expecting nothing in return) that shifts something deep internally. This shift allows for 'more' good to flow into one's life with ease, flow and grace.

May you experience good fortune.

Thank you for your words and your time brother.
The truth is that's what I wanted to do. Take her at point 0, and decide how to act based on how she treats me. But... There are a ton of red flags, it would be stupid to ignore them.

I have my path in life. I have found my balance of working towards my goals and having fun. It's not that I am focused on women. They are just a compliment.
The reason I put so much time in this 5th plate is first, because she really caught my attention and second, due to the Coronavirus outbreak I have a ton of free time.
So why not get the most out of a situation?
Be it experience, knowledge, a greater understanding about women in general?

Now for the part I quoted, I respectfully disagree. I don't believe that there is giving without taking back.
I agree that we shouldn't except something in return.
But for me helping or giving something should be done because I get pleasure from doing so. So there should be something in me that really wants to do it.
Wouldn't any other reason be hypocrisy?

 

[RangerMIke]

Okay... in brief....

Her father ignored her. Coming from a divorce isn't that much of a problem, but chicks that never developed a good relationship with their father, or a father figure... need counseling in adulthood to deal with this. They typically are damaged because they are trying to fill a need to bond with SOME man... while at the same time never learning how to do this withot going bat-sh!t crazy. Almost every woman I have ever dated that had a father like this had relationship problems... namely my ex-wife.

DO NOT beat yourself up.... we are ALL genetically disposed to sacrificing for women in need. ALL OF US. I've been dating for 30 plus year (minus my 10 year marriage) and every woman I have been seriously attracted to have been damaged needing rescue. I'm not afraid to admit that because that just makes me a normal human male. We ALL have this White Knight Captain Save-a-Ho built in tendance.

What to do.... FIRST understand this is part of your nature and RATIONALLY evaluate what is going on while maintaining emotional self-control. SECOND never do ANYTHING for ANY chick unless you are getting something in return. She has to keep working for you... women are actually much happier when she feels like she has to work for you. This is especially true with damaged women... these women are even more insecure than the average chick, and if they think they are giving you something you want in return for her needs, she feels a lot better about herself... making her a lot easier to deal with. Demand reciprocity and never let a chick like this drag you away from your purpose.

Never try to fix a chick... she has to fix herself... and if she knows she has to fix herself to be with you, if she loves you... she will do this, and be a better person for the effort.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

You mean fun playing with the 2 of them?
Like she felt nothing and just had fun in a situation like this?



Thank you for your words and your time brother.
The truth is that's what I wanted to do. Take her at point 0, and decide how to act based on how she treats me. But... There are a ton of red flags, it would be stupid to ignore them.

I have my path in life. I have found my balance of working towards my goals and having fun. It's not that I am focused on women. They are just a compliment.
The reason I put so much time in this 5th plate is first, because she really caught my attention and second, due to the Coronavirus outbreak I have a ton of free time.
So why not get the most out of a situation?
Be it experience, knowledge, a greater understanding about women in general?

Now for the part I quoted, I respectfully disagree. I don't believe that there is giving without taking back.
I agree that we shouldn't except something in return.
But for me helping or giving something should be done because I get pleasure from doing so. So there should be something in me that really wants to do it.
Wouldn't any other reason be hypocrisy?

Yvw.

It’s certainly a worthwhile inquiry to live into.

Yes, true gifting is it’s own reward. Most folks as they relate to ‘love’ is something that is reciprocal and based on the giving and receiving of attention based on the ‘other’ acting/behaving in a predictable manner that one approves of.

‘Loving’ on the other hand is a verb and is a ground of being. It’s reward is freedom for the giver and decoupled from any behavior of the ‘other.’ Being a parent would be the most relatable aspect of ‘loving’ (if they are a ‘loving’ parent)

You have a good head on your shoulders, trust yourself more and keep more of your own council. As for ‘red flags’ mostly they can be taken with a grain of salt and can easily become self-fulfilling prophecies. The truth of the matter is that attraction is a mutual phenomenon.

To be a little woowoo, explore the concept of ‘Soul Retrieval’s’ to build relationships that are independent from karmic debt.

 

[Kaido]

@D.Roger you got plenty of great advice.

Given that I was like the second guy on the parallel ralationship, I ll just tell you to keep your eyes open and never, ever give her a second chance if something goes wrong. Never.

Our desires are like demons living inside us, completely out of our control.
More likely they control us.
So for a real change to happen, there must be a huge amount of pain inside for a demon to die and let another one come on the surface.
In your case (and mine) the woman should have hit rock bottom from understanding how much she wronged the men in her life.
If not, you are about to get treated the same way or worse, sooner or later.
Be sharp brother!

Never try to fix a chick... she has to fix herself... and if she knows she has to fix herself to be with you, if she loves you... she will do this, and be a better person for the effort.

Exactly that!
Also, judge change only from her actions, never from her words.

 

[D.Roger]

@RangerMIke
@Ohso-Phresh
@Kaido
... and everyone else...

Words can't express my gratitude guys.
Thank you, really thank you for your help.

You are the voice of reason and experience that I needed and should hear.

In the end, if she is has changed and everything goes well she ll be an awesome addition to my life.
If not, NEXT and I am no worse than before her.

It would be great if anyone of you would like to analyze the story and her behavior more, so we can extract as much knowledge as possible out of this for everyone to learn.
Once again, thank you guys!

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@RangerMIke
@Ohso-Phresh
@Kaido
... and everyone else...

Words can't express my gratitude guys.
Thank you, really thank you for your help.

You are the voice of reason and experience that I needed and should hear.

In the end, if she is has changed and everything goes well she ll be an awesome addition to my life.
If not, NEXT and I am no worse than before her.

It would be great if anyone of you would like to analyze the story and her behavior more, so we can extract as much knowledge as possible out of this for everyone to learn.
Once again, thank you guys!

To expand on @RangerMIke 's point, do not let her use sex as a currency. Just because she gives you amazing sex and let's you do whatever is meaningless for an LTR. For a woman to qualify as LTR material she needs many other qualities that will enrich your life. Good sex can be developed and taught, it's not some rare thing.

You have to be incredibly strong with these women because if you spend too much time fuucking them you'll neglect your own life and become weak willed as a result. You have to be strong enough to decline sex sometimes AND walk if she makes a big deal about it or cheats/lies. You have to be able to risk losing her to maintain your principles, no exceptions. When the sex is good guys make too many exceptions and it undermines their moral foundation. The guilt they feel later from bringing it upon themselves only compounds the issue. Don't let that happen, be solid with your boundaries. It's fine to be generous but always keep yourself in check. If you feel she's not appreciative then pull back and focus on yourself until you can give freely again. If she leaves then clearly she doesn't have the empathy to understand and support your position, nothing lost.

Rationally this woman is not LTR material and unless she goes to counseling and maintains a healthy lifestyle indefinitely she will not change. She may be able to keep up the act for a few months, but when you notice her slipping back into old ways or when your gut tells you she's losing interest, let her go.

And don't be stupid about her letting you cuum inside her. If she gets pregnant and doesn't want to abort and you're not ready for a kid you are fuucked. She'll have the kid and go back to the CC, meanwhile she'll suck your money and time endlessly through the conduit of the child. Is the feeling of a creampie really worth such trouble for the rest of your life? Not to mention the child growing up without a solid home and parents that love each other.

Just bust on her face or something.

You've been seeing her a month and already had heated arguments, what does that tell you?

Have your fun, and even an STR is fine but always keep your eyes peeled for real LTR material. And again, don't let exceptions to your principles keep you from walking or from dismissing her. It takes a strong resolve to dismiss good sex for more intangible things like peace of mind.

LTR material will always stand by your side and not constantly try to start drama. She didn't break up with guys because she enjoys the drama, it's childish irresponsible behavior. when the good attention dries up she will look for attention in any form, good or bad. She cried while telling you because she wants to look like the victim despite her doing it all to herself. She knows she has problems but is actively avoiding them and she's gotten very good at it, which is really dangerous for anyone that gets involved with her.

When a person becomes very good at lying and let's it consume their life they start to deceive themselves, believing their own lies. It can be very convincing.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

To expand on @RangerMIke 's point, do not let her use sex as a currency. Just because she gives you amazing sex and let's you do whatever is meaningless for an LTR. For a woman to qualify as LTR material she needs many other qualities that will enrich your life. Good sex can be developed and taught, it's not some rare thing.

You have to be incredibly strong with these women because if you spend too much time fuucking them you'll neglect your own life and become weak willed as a result. You have to be strong enough to decline sex sometimes AND walk if she makes a big deal about it or cheats/lies. You have to be able to risk losing her to maintain your principles, no exceptions. When the sex is good guys make too many exceptions and it undermines their moral foundation. The guilt they feel later from bringing it upon themselves only compounds the issue. Don't let that happen, be solid with your boundaries. It's fine to be generous but always keep yourself in check. If you feel she's not appreciative then pull back and focus on yourself until you can give freely again. If she leaves then clearly she doesn't have the empathy to understand and support your position, nothing lost.

Rationally this woman is not LTR material and unless she goes to counseling and maintains a healthy lifestyle indefinitely she will not change. She may be able to keep up the act for a few months, but when you notice her slipping back into old ways or when your gut tells you she's losing interest, let her go.

And don't be stupid about her letting you cuum inside her. If she gets pregnant and doesn't want to abort and you're not ready for a kid you are fuucked. She'll have the kid and go back to the CC, meanwhile she'll suck your money and time endlessly through the conduit of the child. Is the feeling of a creampie really worth such trouble for the rest of your life? Just bust on her face or something.

You've been seeing her a month and already had heated arguments, what does that tell you?

Have your fun, and even an STR is fine but always keep your eyes peeled for real LTR material. And again, don't let exceptions to your principles keep you from walking or from dismissing her. It takes a strong resolve to dismiss good sex for more intangible things like peace of mind.

LTR material will always stand by your side and not constantly try to start drama. She didn't break up with guys because she enjoys the drama, it's all she has. when the good attention dries up she will look for attention in any form, good or bad. She cried while telling you because she wants to look like the victim despite her doing it all to herself. She knows she has problems and is actively avoiding them, and she's gotten very good at it, which is really dangerous for anyone that gets involved with her.

When a person becomes very good at lying and let's it consume their life they start to deceive themselves, believing their own lies. It can be very convincing.

Very powerful people do this.

 

[D.Roger]

wow @EyeOnThePrize you are spot on. On everything.

I caught myself thinking about canceling various stuff to spend more time with her.
Especially now with the quarantine.
Latest examples are I tried to rationalize not lifting or going rock climbing to meet with her. I didn't give into to it, but it's true that the urge is powerful.

I was thinking also about the argument we had, it was just a difference of opinion. When she couldn't handle my arguments she tried to gaslight me and make me think I was disrespectful to her, then she left.

I spent some time with her this weekend. We talked about more stuff and she told me about the time they caught her kissing another guy during her relationship.
Her reasoning was that she did it because she didn't get enough attention and wanted to "wake up" her boyfriend to make things better.
Of course the whole story shows that she didn't intend to get caught, it just happened and wanted to blame her boyfriend for it.

Also, in another discussion she confirmed in a way Rollos post on Twitter. She told me she felt she was cheating on the mma guy with her LTR.

I come in conclusion that indeed her whole magic was blinding me to what my gut was trying to say as @AttackFormation and @Albatross953 first said.

I ll have fun and look to get as much as possible out of my experience with her, but in the first sign of drama or her losing interest I ll drop her. It ain't worth the trouble.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Daddy issues, tats and general drama, depressive behaviour is at max a booty call

If you don't like other plates, get new ones, there are always better women out there

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Latest examples are I tried to rationalize not lifting or going rock climbing to meet with her. I didn't give into to it, but it's true that the urge is powerful.

it's fine to make these sacrifices if you have a plan to make it up to yourself in the near future. if it's too inconvenient then don't cancel your own plans.

I spent some time with her this weekend. We talked about more stuff and she told me about the time they caught her kissing another guy during her relationship.
Her reasoning was that she did it because she didn't get enough attention and wanted to "wake up" her boyfriend to make things better.
Of course the whole story shows that she didn't intend to get caught, it just happened and wanted to blame her boyfriend for it.

now imagine if her boyfriend reacted by dumping her. she would have probably gone on a slutting/drinking/smoking binge out of guilt because she understands that's not the way to 'wake up' a relationship. the guy probably knew this in the back of his mind and didn't want her to leave, so he put up with it. he feared losing her.

she takes dangerous risks betting on black, even in conversation with you. what most men fail to do with women that are good in bed is to burn their black bets. remember to keep your casino running smoothly. if she continues betting on black you will continue burning her bets either indirectly(by removing your attention) or directly(by calling her out). the more important thing is to pay out her red bets. when you feel she's giving genuinely then shower her with affection or something she enjoys to reinforce that good behavior. this doesn't mean getting feminine. sex isn't really a favor since it's for her too. if she blows you, you can eat her out or play out some kink she enjoys. sex bets are no brainers.

inside or outside the bedroom always stay consistent, nip the bad behavior in the bud, reward the good behavior. keep regulating her to the appropriate table. never argue with her and always be the more calm one(you can be stern but still be the more calm one). you don't argue with her because that's rewarding a black bet. you are always calm because your principles are non-negotiable, you are simply exercising them. after all a casino never bends its rules and only makes special accommodations for the high rollers. in our analogy only consistent red betters should get to your high roller tables, where they're treated very well(as long as they continue to bet on red).

 

[Black Widow Void]

Should I judge her on how she treats me and not on her past

What are your thoughts?

There's a good chance that those men in her past were at one point treated nice (or at least they thought they were).
You've seen the outcome already.
This one sounds like a textbook black widow.
Avoid.

 

[Kaido]

@EyeOnThePrize
Your casino analogy is the coolest way of thinking I have read man!
If only I had this knowledge earlier...

Do you believe this can work even with broken women like this one?