Over 30 DJ's

[7onriverI f]

I give up. Getting arranged marriage with some <25 next year. Unless you are rich and have money to spend, you cannot roam around and pick up on girls. If you have day job then it's gone.

what a fukin loser. I go out 7 days a week, nearly 30, work 60 hours a week.

you just need to get out there and get your 4 inch **** suked man.

 

[jerrycalahan]

Over 30 is not a useful generalization. Are you talking 30+ or 40+ or 50+ or 60+ or 70+ or....

Within any age category, the better looking and more successful you are, the better your dating results will be as well. All three are highly correlated because at the foundation of it all are good genetics, good overall health and high intelligence.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Well 31 is something, 38 is something else.

The first one is a young adult, the second one is a grown man...in the first case you can hit clubs and dress casual while in the second you better hit lounges and dress sharp.

 

[GoodOne123]

Im 25 now, and it's interesting to see what I should expect when I eventually hit 30.

Some of the guys advise guys my age to start looking to lock someone down right now. But what if I still feel I have more dating/exploring to do? I get that women develop more baggage the older they get, but I won't have to date women the same age as me so what's the rush?

I personally feel like I haven't yet peaked in terms of my career, physique, or my communication skills. I might have aged a bit in the face but I'm still told I look younger than I am. I predict I'll peak around 27-28, which is when I'll start thinking of settling down.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Im 25 now, and it's interesting to see what I should expect when I eventually hit 30.

Some of the guys advise guys my age to start looking to lock someone down right now. But what if I still feel I have more dating/exploring to do? I get that women develop more baggage the older they get, but I won't have to date women the same age as me so what's the rush?

I personally feel like I haven't yet peaked in terms of my career, physique, or my communication skills. I might have aged a bit in the face but I'm still told I look younger than I am. I predict I'll peak around 27-28, which is when I'll start thinking of settling down.

What I would do in your place would be bang as many as possible for the next 3-4 years then before you turn 30 find a decent girl in her early 20s and make a relationship with her.

Once you pass enough time and share enough experiences togheter, the bonding should be enough to consider to make a family.

Trust me when I was that in your mid30s you dont have girlfriends but only fvck buddies and fvck buddies with whom you split bills.

Dont get me wrong you can still play your cards later but it gets harder, most girls younger than 22 see a guy above 30 to be too old for them unless you meet them frequently outside romantic purposes...forget cold approches however.

 

[GoodOne123]

What I would do in your place would be bang as many as possible for the next 3-4 years then before you turn 30 find a decent girl in her early 20s and make a relationship with her.

Once you pass enough time and share enough experiences togheter, the bonding should be enough to consider to make a family.

Trust me when I was that in your mid30s you dont have girlfriends but only fvck buddies and fvck buddies with whom you split bills.

Dont get me wrong you can still play your cards later but it gets harder, most girls younger than 22 see a guy above 30 to be too old for them unless you meet them frequently outside romantic purposes...forget cold approches however.

Thanks for the advice.

When I become 30 I'd imagine myself being happy settling down with a girl that's even a bit older than that, like around 25-26. Maturity is pretty important for me in an LTR, if I feel like a girl is too stupid I won't be able to stand being around her for long.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thanks for the advice.

When I become 30 I'd imagine myself being happy settling down with a girl that's even a bit older than that, like around 25-26. Maturity is pretty important for me in an LTR, if I feel like a girl is too stupid I won't be able to stand being around her for long.

Maturity affects your aura and what you attract in life. It's not all about women. I would think opportunities and business and respect are easier to obtain with higher maturity.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Thanks for the advice.

When I become 30 I'd imagine myself being happy settling down with a girl that's even a bit older than that, like around 25-26. Maturity is pretty important for me in an LTR, if I feel like a girl is too stupid I won't be able to stand being around her for long.

You have to balance maturity and shared experiences, the more experiences you share with a girl the stronger the bond will be which means less chances of being cheated, replaced or divorce raped.

It takes time to bond and the more experiences a girl has without you, the harder will be for you two to bond and it will take much much more.

Trust me on this, most women my age have more intimacy with their 5 years coworkers than with their 5 years husbands.

 

[Good Gao]

Early thirties and let me put it this way to all young guys out there, if you want quality, you need to be quality. The issue with so much of this manosphere bull**** was that it said life gets better after 30 for men and you are at your peak, that is true in 2 situations:

1. You were far from peak in youth and had a troubled youth/upbringing.

2. Something exceptional happened as you got older.

What kinds of older guys are pulling quality women on the regular? The Dan Bilzerians, A List actors, etc. The kinds of guys who are in the top tier of men and have loose morals, did not settle down into an LTR or marriage. Those men are very few far and in-between, most men will hit their 30s bitter, angry, cynical, and unwilling to change. Now this is why it is so rare to find that kind of an older guy.

So the game does not get easier by any means with age, you just have to put in the work in your thirties on logistics and lifestyle in order to see the benefits.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You have to balance maturity and shared experiences, the more experiences you share with a girl the stronger the bond will be which means less chances of being cheated, replaced or divorce raped.

It takes time to bond and the more experiences a girl has without you, the harder will be for you two to bond and it will take much much more.

Trust me on this, most women my age have more intimacy with their 5 years coworkers than with their 5 years husbands.

Bedroom intimacy? Or just closeness at work?

 

[Who Dares Win]

Bedroom intimacy? Or just closeness at work?

I mean overall bonding, from inside jokes to time spent talking about personal things which is even more true when hubby is just a backup plan for an older woman who had to settle not to be left alone.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I mean overall bonding, from inside jokes to time spent talking about personal things which is even more true when hubby is just a backup plan for an older woman who had to settle not to be left alone.

True. Coworkers often know much more than hubby.

 

[Plinco]

I hope, I really hope that I will live long enough to see medicine advance to be able to reverse aging. Can you imagine being 200 years old in a 20 year old body?

 

[SW15]

I feel strange reading those message coming from guys in their early 30s back in the early 00's...those guys didnt even had to deal with smarphones, social networks and dating apps, they enjoyed the far west of dating.

I feel the same way. At 37, I've been interested in dating/mating for 21 years. When this thread was new in 2002-03, I was 19-20. I was in the mating environment then, I'm there now.

Smartphones, social networks, and dating apps have all made the environment worse. When I think about the 2001-2005 era of dating, I didn't think it was great at the time, but it was better than 2010-present. I remember even in 2011-12 having a conversation about how the environment was noticeably worse than 2004-05.

Another key difference between now and 2002-03 is that the type of older woman you're dealing with. If you were 35 in 2002-03, you were born in the late 1960s, and typically interacting with core Gen X women born from 1968-1975. These women were much more normal than being 35 in 2019-2020, and dealing mainly with Millennial women born 1984-1990. It would be considered unusual if you were a woman born in 1970 to be never married and have no children in 2005 at age 35. In 2019, there were many women born in 1984 who were never married and had no kids. Careerism, feminism, and childlessness really increased in the 14-17 year period we are discussing. A lot of Millennial women had arrested development and longer periods of carousel riding.

Millennial women as a whole have been worse than Gen X women. Much of it is culturally and technologically induced.

 

[Lookatu]

I feel the same way. At 37, I've been interested in dating/mating for 21 years. When this thread was new in 2002-03, I was 19-20. I was in the mating environment then, I'm there now.

Smartphones, social networks, and dating apps have all made the environment worse. When I think about the 2001-2005 era of dating, I didn't think it was great at the time, but it was better than 2010-present. I remember even in 2011-12 having a conversation about how the environment was noticeably worse than 2004-05.

Another key difference between now and 2002-03 is that the type of older woman you're dealing with. If you were 35 in 2002-03, you were born in the late 1960s, and typically interacting with core Gen X women born from 1968-1975. These women were much more normal than being 35 in 2019-2020, and dealing mainly with Millennial women born 1984-1990. It would be considered unusual if you were a woman born in 1970 to be never married and have no children in 2005 at age 35. In 2019, there were many women born in 1984 who were never married and had no kids. Careerism, feminism, and childlessness really increased in the 14-17 year period we are discussing. A lot of Millennial women had arrested development and longer periods of carousel riding.

Millennial women as a whole have been worse than Gen X women. Much of it is culturally and technologically induced.

I agree with this but in addition, the whole feminism movement that spiralled out of control and now things like #metoo prevents guys from being guys.

I feel really sorry for the young guys really wanting to find a LTR or marriage these days. They definitely have an uphill battle.

I was fortunate enough to find someone and get married in the early 2000's. I've had the marriage experience and 3 kids out of it. So now I'm not really concerned on finding anything serious to that nature. If I was, I'm sure I would be pretty frustrated.

The cynic in me wished there was both a Coronavirus for humans and also ones that knocked out all the internet/smartphone satellites for awhile. This would force society to interact in real life and break the cycle of internet validation for all these gals and possibly ground them again. Idealistic and wishful thinking I know...

 

[SW15]

I agree with this but in addition, the whole feminism movement that spiralled out of control and now things like #metoo prevents guys from being guys.

#MeToo is bad. It is unfortunate that there are women who have suffered at times due to sexually predatory men, far more men have suffered silently due to #MeToo than the number of women that have suffered. While what has happened to men via #MeToo has probably been less severe in 98% of cases, men's suffering as a result of #MeToo should not be dismissed as inconsequential.

I feel really sorry for the young guys really wanting to find a LTR or marriage these days. They definitely have an uphill battle.

Unquestionably, it is an uphill battle. Squeezing out a solid 1-3 year long non-marital relationship these days is challenging, let alone finding a suitable marriage partner. Some even question whether the marriage model is viable in today's mating environment, a question that I feel is legitimate.

 

[SW15]

For damaged women in their late 20's - early 30's it's a result of their increased notch counts. Once a woman has slept with 3+ guys her ability to pair bond goes into decline.

Most women I've interacted with over the years have their notch counts beyond 3 by their 21st birthdays. If not 21, 25 at the latest. It's pretty easy for a woman to have sex with 3 men over the course of their lifetimes. Since sex is so readily available, getting 3 partners is so easily achieved, and often done by the end of the high school. Women who get into extended relationships reduce their partner counts, but since 3 is such a small number, women do find ways to pass this number rather easily.

 

[SW15]

Which is why, unfortunately, most women aren't suitable for LTRs. You'll find that there are pockets of women who have only had 1 or 2 relationships in their life.

Squeezing out a solid 1-3 year long non-marital relationship these days is challenging, let alone finding a suitable marriage partner. Some even question whether the marriage model is viable in today's mating environment, a question that I feel is legitimate.

What's your definition of an LTR? I think the expected time horizon and goals a man has for his interactions impact outcomes. I observe many men failing because they often have unrealistic expectations for their current era.

I think it is possible to get a woman above the age of 25 to have a 1-5 year relationship now. I think it is a bad idea to put on a ring on it and have kids with most of these higher notch count women. If you have kids with a woman today, odds are that the relationship will fail before your first kid with her turns 18. That's not a great environment for raising children. It's part of why I have made it to age 37 childless. I don't think it is fair to subject a child to an unhealthy dynamic between the parents.

Depending upon the U.S. state you live in, if a marriage fails, you may also owe your ex wife some alimony payments, even in a marriage with no children. My cousin had that happen to him during his 30s. He had a marriage fail without kids, and the ex walked away with a nice cash settlement that included both alimony payments for over a year and some upfront cash. That was a nice settlement for her for trashing a marriage. Had my cousin never put a ring on it and a childless relationship failed, he would have owed nothing. My cousin had unrealistic expectations.

Women losing the ability to pair bond due to high notch counts manifests itself in a number of ways.

1. Go to any big U.S. city and try to date 28-35 year old women who are never married and have no kids. A lot of these women have sky high expectations for even a 2nd date, let alone a 1-2 year relationship. These sky high expectations are even more pronounced if they are using the more relationship oriented dating apps like Hinge or Bumble. When a woman has a 3+ partner count and access to hundreds of men on Hinge or Bumble, her ability to even bond for a 2nd date, which is a nothing of a commitment, is compromised severely.

2. Attached women are easily finding sex outside the primary relationship, which happens more commonly in LTRs longer than 3-5 years. These are often women 35-44, who are supposedly post-wall. A 40 year old woman who stays in shape will be able to have an affair with a 25-30 year old man at her gym if her long term relationship goes stale after 10+ years and a kid or two. Usually this will happen once the kids get slightly older (4 or older).

This is also why virginity was so highly prized prior to the sexual revolution of the 60's. The effect that multiple partners has on women was common knowledge prior to the 1960's gaslight.

Agree. Multiple partners has a more meaningful effect upon women than men.

 

[Jack12345]

"Finding a good woman in her 30's is like finding a parking space... All the good ones are taken and the remaining ones are handicapped."

You need to look at younger girls because youre at the peak of your sexuality, a guy who becoming a man. Doesnt mean you wont find hot girls at their 30's, but putting your focus on these type will gradually suck your energy and keep you stagnating. You cant blame the women, this is their biology clock. The handicapped term is out of context and feels desperate and negative - two things you should avoid

 

[SW15]

Looks like at least some of what I'm experiencing in my 30s is inevitable and not just due to tech. Oh well.

The element that I find most frustrating when dealing with women in their 30s is that they have sky high expectations still, as if they were still in their 20s. If you do meet 30 something women on apps, they are being pursued as hotly as 20 something women. They have no shortage of options, plus they get naturally more fussy.

What are you experiencing with 30 something women now?