Going out to eat

[_sideways_]

If a girl takes you out to eat and pays...is that like giving you confirmation to screw?
She casually took me out multiple times, for sandwiches, you know, nothing fancy.
Now I'm thinking I should have at least made out with her lol

 

[bcude]

Ask yourself, if you would want to take a girl out (not as friends) and pay for her multiple times, would you do it out of pure kindness or because you wanted something from her (fvck)?
She's making an investment because she sees value (you). Good position for you. Make a move next time.

Also, don't wait for confirmations to do X Y Z. Do what you feel like doing and see how it's going.

 

[_sideways_]

...well....I'm no hobo...lol.
As for the fact that she did it repeatedly because she saw value in me....in hopes that I kiss her or give her my life.
That's like buying my love isn't it?
I did think she was nice and wanted to hang out and chill with a quality dude and offering to pay would be easier for me to say yes to, instead of going to the gym or hanging with my Bros or family.

 

[MrWood]

women crave resources that men provide, money or food does not seem to be what she wants...

sex?
help with her car?
help with (insert task)?
sex?

 

[Dr.Suave]

If a girl takes you out to eat and pays...is that like giving you confirmation to screw?
She casually took me out multiple times, for sandwiches, you know, nothing fancy.
Now I'm thinking I should have at least made out with her lol

"Thanks for treating me to lunch. Come to my place _________ night and we´ll watch a movie and drink some wine".

U r welcome.

 

[gettinit]

women crave resources that men provide, money does not seem to be what she wants...

sex?
help with her car?
help with (insert task)?
sex?

Don't forget company.
Some just can't go anywhere alone. Even if she doesn't see you as dating material, she may see you as a seat filler and she can rent you here and there.

I advise making the girl pick up the check, as a matter of course...if you can get away with it

@ShePays I would NEVER have expected that from you

 

[MrWood]

Even if she doesn't see you as dating material, she may see you as a seat filler and she can rent you here and there.

another reason to not hang out girls you are just friends with

 

[bcude]

Don't forget company.
Some just can't go anywhere alone. Even if she doesn't see you as dating material, she may see you as a seat filler and she can rent you here and there.

If we assume that she's attractive, which we always do here, then she got orbiters lined up for that exact purpose. And she will sure as day let them pay to be in her company, or at most split the bill. This one wants the D(eliverance).

 

[Tilex]

I've been in this situation before several times.

If a chick treats you well when you go out it means:

1) She makes good money
2) She wants to f*ck
3) She values your time
4) She's investing in you
5) You've got the upper hand

On the looks scale, you're probably somewhere above her.
Like maybe she's a 6 and she thinks you're a 10

 

[_sideways_]

seat filler .....what do we mean by seat filler?

She has friends... and family, supposedly that fill those "seats"....
And if she thinks I'm above her on looks, and she knows that,...why would she put herself in a situation where I am a in control.



Low self esteem....
Really trying to tie me down, in the wrong way?
I mean, she doesn't even hug me or punch me in the shoulder or anything.
I figure she was maltreated before and I'm just the Right guy to bring her back to human kindness.

 

[Serenity]

If a girl takes you out to eat and pays...is that like giving you confirmation to screw?

Not confirmation, but I'd say the odds are in your favor.

She casually took me out multiple times, for sandwiches, you know, nothing fancy.
Now I'm thinking I should have at least made out with her lol

Why haven't you?

I gotta say, this sounds like you're very shy, passive and insecure. You're looking for confirmation/permission to escalate, you won't take even a slight risk and you seek certainty.

Let me tell you, there is never certainty with these things unless she makes the first move which is generally unlikely. You need to man up and make a move, someone has to go first and usually it's expected the man to do so. Be a man and take the hint.

If she has to force it by going first you'll become less appealing to her. Reading the hints and taking the risk is sexy, best way to show that you are socially competent and have the balls.

Continuing to be passive about this will either land you firmly in the friendzone or she'll lose interest completely and ghost you.

 

[_sideways_]

....it's not that I don't "man" up...
I legit think that she was hurt before and hence needed a friend more than she needed a guy to pump and dump....
Not that I'm a jerk, but she doesn't match my perspective of a long term partner.
For example, she is not funny at all.
Very sweet and kind ...and I hope she doesn't think that those qualities plus taking someone out to eat and a movie are qualities to ensure a happy relationship.
I am used to girls slobbering like Dutch hounds, but even casually brushing my shoulder...which she hasn't done.
All she did was pick me up, stop by the drive thru, go see a movie...not even once brushed her hand against mine.
I know she's not a virgin...
Hence my curiosity about it all.
I take it as some girls pay for things...unless I'm not seeing what you guys see

 

[MrWood]

casually brushing my shoulder...which she hasn't done.

but she buys you stuff

You're looking for confirmation/permission to escalate, you won't take even a slight risk and you seek certainty.

it seems this is you OP.

YOU should be the one to initiate physical contact. A man LEADS (aka: initiates)

Be a man and initiate or drop her (so she can go find someone to reciprocate her signs of interest)

 

[Visionist]

I've somewhat been in the OP's position. It's a mixture of uninterested girls always offering to pay for drinks so that they owe me nothing (but would interested girls offer to pay too? I don't know...) and attention whöres leading me on with IOIs only to shut me down when I make a move.

A toxic cöcktail of uncertainty. It makes me less brazen in escalating, as I suspect she's just another attention whöre.

OP, follow Dr.Rocanlover's advice and invite her over. Tell her to bring something sweet to eat so she'll continue to invest in you. Sit alongside her and lean into her and see if she leans back.