Fishing for Foriegn & Getting Catfished

[BeExcellent]

Have an acquaintance of my guy. The friend is 58, tall, handsome, successful. He’s mid divorce with his gorgeous Asian wife of 15 years in the US. He will end up splitting assets with her, but she helped him build their business so fair is fair. The wife is late 40s, still remarkably beautiful & very stylish & smart.

They are splitting because she got tired of catching him cheating...

So he goes online, finds a hot 24 year old Thai girl, makes friends with her & ends up traveling to Thailand to meet her & her family and so forth...gives her $1000 US and is there for 2 weeks. They are declaring love & planning the future and etc. Ok. Fine.

This is a man who knows how to be a player...but is looking now it seems at his age...for a young lady who will look after him & cater to him/care for him and of course this will be in exchange for his financial support etc.

My initial thought about the matter (it’s his life...I don’t judge) is along the lines of how many other well off men is this girl doing that with or to...and is this a common thing...because my guy friends tell me this is not unusual.

I do know men who have moved overseas to take up with young foriegn women...and one of the guys is quite happy about the situation and seems with a truly loyal girl...others just seem to be in very transactional arrangements where she is his king...but she keeps younger lovers on the side of her sugar daddy on the down low...or she is at times unavailable. In most cases the guy has had to move there because she wouldn’t or couldn’t move here (tough getting citizenship).

I suppose if women are so objectified as to be a means to an end by a man who uses women to get what he wants that is extreme red pill, obviously on the one hand...but the curious thing is the man in question is good with women, has no issue meeting or dating...and he’s actually losing a quality girl in his soon to be ex wife.

Just found the situation interesting. Almost a grass is greener run away from the realities of life sort of thing...

And I wondered what sort of experiences you guys were aware of or knowledgeable about.

Bear in mind I don’t care if a man can get a much younger woman. I just wondered if this acquaintance is getting played himself and at the same time blinded by his own ego.

Thoughts?

 

[biggoal]

Well is this 48 year old cougar looking for a younger guy full of energy? I own a business too. Tell her about me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

My thought is this women will never love him only what he can do for her. If he ever gets to a point where that is nothing she will be gone like a thief in the night and he will wonder what hit him

 

[Black Widow Void]

As to the situation above, there's his side of the story, her side of the story and somewhere in the middle is the truth.

In my opinion, a "good man" would rather divorice his wife than cheat on his wife.

Curious about the situation? Watch nearly any Woody Allen movie over the past forty years because the theme is usually the same.

 

[Suave88]

Well is this 48 year old cougar looking for a younger guy full of energy? I own a business too. Tell her about me.

Yes...indeed....

 

[biggoal]

Yes...indeed....

Maybe she looks like a Moranbong girl too!!

 

[Suave88]

Have an acquaintance of my guy. The friend is 58, tall, handsome, successful. He’s mid divorce with his gorgeous Asian wife of 15 years in the US. He will end up splitting assets with her, but she helped him build their business so fair is fair. The wife is late 40s, still remarkably beautiful & very stylish & smart.

They are splitting because she got tired of catching him cheating...

So he goes online, finds a hot 24 year old Thai girl, makes friends with her & ends up traveling to Thailand to meet her & her family and so forth...gives her $1000 US and is there for 2 weeks. They are declaring love & planning the future and etc. Ok. Fine.

This is a man who knows how to be a player...but is looking now it seems at his age...for a young lady who will look after him & cater to him/care for him and of course this will be in exchange for his financial support etc.

My initial thought about the matter (it’s his life...I don’t judge) is along the lines of how many other well off men is this girl doing that with or to...and is this a common thing...because my guy friends tell me this is not unusual.

I do know men who have moved overseas to take up with young foriegn women...and one of the guys is quite happy about the situation and seems with a truly loyal girl...others just seem to be in very transactional arrangements where she is his king...but she keeps younger lovers on the side of her sugar daddy on the down low...or she is at times unavailable. In most cases the guy has had to move there because she wouldn’t or couldn’t move here (tough getting citizenship).

I suppose if women are so objectified as to be a means to an end by a man who uses women to get what he wants that is extreme red pill, obviously on the one hand...but the curious thing is the man in question is good with women, has no issue meeting or dating...and he’s actually losing a quality girl in his soon to be ex wife.

Just found the situation interesting. Almost a grass is greener run away from the realities of life sort of thing...

And I wondered what sort of experiences you guys were aware of or knowledgeable about.

Bear in mind I don’t care if a man can get a much younger woman. I just wondered if this acquaintance is getting played himself and at the same time blinded by his own ego.

Thoughts?

This is not my type of essenario, and I hope it never be. I didn't read the whole post, I was quick to formulate an answer in my mind when I read about the $1000.00 and stay there a week. I will never marry a woman who takes $1000.00 from me and thereafter, we end in bed or simply we made up. I will never even offer or give money to a woman I have sex with or hook up after a date because I know it is offensive to her. It mean I am buying her and she is a hoe....
Your friend is not me and thus I cannot relate and therefore I cannot help you.

 

[BeExcellent]

My thought is this women will never love him only what he can do for her. If he ever gets to a point where that is nothing she will be gone like a thief in the night and he will wonder what hit him

This is kind of what I think too. Sort of who’s playing who here. Difference is in 10 years she’s still young & hot...he’s pushing 70 instead of 60...

So his soon to be ex is late 40s, and he met her when he was about 43 and she was early 30s. Was she from abroad too?

What a lot of guys like this don't realize is that eventually the woman will grow out of her shell and seek to control something. If he's lucky, she'll take the reins on the home and any children. But she'll seek something more than being his nanny for life. It's like getting a puppy...she's not going to stay young and wide-eyed forever. The new one's going to want to build her little thing, too, whether it's sending money to the fam and maybe bringing them to the U.S., or starting some career, or going to school. And yes there's always a chance she seeks out some young side d!ck.

If the man is okay with all of that and can afford it, more power to him. Some men don't think it through. Not sure about your friend, I don't know him.

His soon to be ex wife survived hell as a young girl in Laos during the late Vietnam conflict. She came to US as a child in the 1970s and grew up here (but deeply appreciates the freedoms etc. due to her background.) She’s educated & intelligent and the furthest thing from a 3rd world Internet bride.

I think the risk to him (due to his own arrogance) is that he doesn’t grasp that she will not forever want to be his ‘subject’ as @Amante Silvestre put it, but will at some point have her own ambitions...or want to be a mother...(he’s had a vasectomy) or whatever else.

And when this occurs he’s that much closer to senior citizen status and may not be able to pull young & hot anymore.

I think the head scratcher for me (and I’m a woman and realize men can always go younger/hotter for awhile) is how is quality of life, meaningfulness of relationship, and loneliness going to affect him (assuming this goes somewhere.).

Many people do not want to be alone and fear being alone in old age...that is more pronounced as people age (since the inevitable is closer)...but would being lonely in someone’s company with a language barrier be preferable?

My guy fears being alone in old age too (both men are rather vain), but my guy made a comment about the prospect of his buddy ending up like a piece of furniture that she & her friends or family chatter around in Thai like he’s not even there...

It’s an interesting thing to think about. And there is the specter of failing to grasp the value of good company & so forth in later life.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Have an acquaintance of my guy. The friend is 58, tall, handsome, successful. He’s mid divorce with his gorgeous Asian wife of 15 years in the US. He will end up splitting assets with her, but she helped him build their business so fair is fair. The wife is late 40s, still remarkably beautiful & very stylish & smart.

They are splitting because she got tired of catching him cheating...

So he goes online, finds a hot 24 year old Thai girl, makes friends with her & ends up traveling to Thailand to meet her & her family and so forth...gives her $1000 US and is there for 2 weeks. They are declaring love & planning the future and etc. Ok. Fine.

This is a man who knows how to be a player...but is looking now it seems at his age...for a young lady who will look after him & cater to him/care for him and of course this will be in exchange for his financial support etc.

My initial thought about the matter (it’s his life...I don’t judge) is along the lines of how many other well off men is this girl doing that with or to...and is this a common thing...because my guy friends tell me this is not unusual.

I do know men who have moved overseas to take up with young foriegn women...and one of the guys is quite happy about the situation and seems with a truly loyal girl...others just seem to be in very transactional arrangements where she is his king...but she keeps younger lovers on the side of her sugar daddy on the down low...or she is at times unavailable. In most cases the guy has had to move there because she wouldn’t or couldn’t move here (tough getting citizenship).

I suppose if women are so objectified as to be a means to an end by a man who uses women to get what he wants that is extreme red pill, obviously on the one hand...but the curious thing is the man in question is good with women, has no issue meeting or dating...and he’s actually losing a quality girl in his soon to be ex wife.

Just found the situation interesting. Almost a grass is greener run away from the realities of life sort of thing...

And I wondered what sort of experiences you guys were aware of or knowledgeable about.

Bear in mind I don’t care if a man can get a much younger woman. I just wondered if this acquaintance is getting played himself and at the same time blinded by his own ego.

Thoughts?

He may be playing out a hero fantasy. Although it may be short lived as @samspade mentioned, he is probably looking to feel like a god, to be adored. The easiest way to do that without playing the numbers game is find a cute girl in a much poorer area and spoil her a bit. I doubt he's doing this to just get his rocks off. I like to think his intent is to practice self mastery by attempting to inspire/mold another woman with all that he's learned from his previous relationships. Whatever is it the reason must be good for him to travel and invest. If he's a successful business man he may feel like he missed out on life while working so diligently and this is his over correction in the opposite direction.

If I'm correct then I fear he may identify with her progress in his image too much. If he invests heavily in her and she defies him and leaves anyway he may be left with crippling resentment or depression that takes years to undo.

To be patient and inspire with 100% effort, all while maintaining the integrity to walk if the need arises AND marinating an unconditional mindset is no easy task, especially with someone that comes from much less than you do. I would say his intent is selfish but he tells himself he's being noble.

But who knows it may work out just as he wants. Then he may realize it's not what he wanted after all. Or he may know exactly what he's doing and why, and live happily ever.

 

[BeExcellent]

@EyeOnThePrize I find that resonates with what I have seen of the man in question. Dissent is grounds for dismissal once the damsel develops self reliance (or asserts herself) which pokes quite the hole on the fantasy.

And if he isn’t aware of this and it is actually the dynamic...it’s going to injure his ego in a massive way when the damsel doesn’t cooperate.

@samspade I agree. We all will ultimately meet our maker alone. Operating from fear based motivation is never a good idea.

I agree about people who have endured much. I really like the guy’s wife. But you never know the inner workings of someone’s relationships either.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

This is kind of what I think too. Sort of who’s playing who here. Difference is in 10 years she’s still young & hot...he’s pushing 70 instead of 60...



His soon to be ex wife survived hell as a young girl in Laos during the late Vietnam conflict. She came to US as a child in the 1970s and grew up here (but deeply appreciates the freedoms etc. due to her background.) She’s educated & intelligent and the furthest thing from a 3rd world Internet bride.

I think the risk to him (due to his own arrogance) is that he doesn’t grasp that she will not forever want to be his ‘subject’ as @Amante Silvestre put it, but will at some point have her own ambitions...or want to be a mother...(he’s had a vasectomy) or whatever else.

And when this occurs he’s that much closer to senior citizen status and may not be able to pull young & hot anymore.

I think the head scratcher for me (and I’m a woman and realize men can always go younger/hotter for awhile) is how is quality of life, meaningfulness of relationship, and loneliness going to affect him (assuming this goes somewhere.).

Many people do not want to be alone and fear being alone in old age...that is more pronounced as people age (since the inevitable is closer)...but would being lonely in someone’s company with a language barrier be preferable?

My guy fears being alone in old age too (both men are rather vain), but my guy made a comment about the prospect of his buddy ending up like a piece of furniture that she & her friends or family chatter around in Thai like he’s not even there...

It’s an interesting thing to think about. And there is the specter of failing to grasp the value of good company & so forth in later life.

This is a good point. He's approaching the end of his life and this girl may become a mark on the world that he's proud to leave, his legacy. Or if it crashes and burns it'll be his excuse for whatever he feels he didn't achieve. Either way it'll put a convenient bow on a late chapter in his life. We can only hope his motives are altruistic.

When contemplating mortality I find that legacy is more important than most things. I also find that my legacy is most immediately and most affected by a positive attitude towards everything and everyone.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

<snip>
Just found the situation interesting. Almost a grass is greener run away from the realities of life sort of thing...

And I wondered what sort of experiences you guys were aware of or knowledgeable about.

Bear in mind I don’t care if a man can get a much younger woman. I just wondered if this acquaintance is getting played himself and at the same time blinded by his own ego.

Thoughts?

Your intuition is spot on, both things will happen.

With his partner, did he have kids in his marriage?

His karma of cheating will smack him straight in the face, gut and groin with his new bride.

 

[BeExcellent]

Your intuition is spot on, both things will happen.

With his partner, did he have kids in his marriage?

His karma of cheating will smack him straight in the face, gut and groin with his new bride.

Agreed. He and the wife he is divorcing are both 2nd marriages; no children together but raised through teen years & early adulthood each other’s children from first marriages.

Karma or no karma his shelf life is limited & why would a young hottie put up with an old man her father’s or grandfather’s age?

I like him well enough. He’s always been sweet to me. I’m afraid he’s going to get blindsided in this & my guy feels similarly.

 

[RickTheToad]

Have an acquaintance of my guy. The friend is 58, tall, handsome, successful. He’s mid divorce with his gorgeous Asian wife of 15 years in the US. He will end up splitting assets with her, but she helped him build their business so fair is fair. The wife is late 40s, still remarkably beautiful & very stylish & smart.

They are splitting because she got tired of catching him cheating...

So he goes online, finds a hot 24 year old Thai girl, makes friends with her & ends up traveling to Thailand to meet her & her family and so forth...gives her $1000 US and is there for 2 weeks. They are declaring love & planning the future and etc. Ok. Fine.

This is a man who knows how to be a player...but is looking now it seems at his age...for a young lady who will look after him & cater to him/care for him and of course this will be in exchange for his financial support etc.

My initial thought about the matter (it’s his life...I don’t judge) is along the lines of how many other well off men is this girl doing that with or to...and is this a common thing...because my guy friends tell me this is not unusual.

I do know men who have moved overseas to take up with young foriegn women...and one of the guys is quite happy about the situation and seems with a truly loyal girl...others just seem to be in very transactional arrangements where she is his king...but she keeps younger lovers on the side of her sugar daddy on the down low...or she is at times unavailable. In most cases the guy has had to move there because she wouldn’t or couldn’t move here (tough getting citizenship).

I suppose if women are so objectified as to be a means to an end by a man who uses women to get what he wants that is extreme red pill, obviously on the one hand...but the curious thing is the man in question is good with women, has no issue meeting or dating...and he’s actually losing a quality girl in his soon to be ex wife.

Just found the situation interesting. Almost a grass is greener run away from the realities of life sort of thing...

And I wondered what sort of experiences you guys were aware of or knowledgeable about.

Bear in mind I don’t care if a man can get a much younger woman. I just wondered if this acquaintance is getting played himself and at the same time blinded by his own ego.

Thoughts?

NFN, but you're judging both situations. If the dude wants to be a mark, let him. It's his life, let the chips fall where they may.

 

[Glassguy]

Guy divorces his wife for her teenaged Asian daughter?

I think that was on Pornhub. Page 148 lol

 

[Glassguy]

In all seriousness, the guy probably realizes that he fvcked up with all of the cheating, understands the wife is totally over it (he probably sees the indifference all over her face). He knows to take his losses (that he created) and move on.

As for the younger Thai girl? Who knows. If the guy is really well off and has an insurmountable source of spendable income, maybe he is just living out a real life fantasy/fetish while he still can. Its hard to judge or guess what is going through his mind when we cant get inside of it.

Best case scenario is: It all works out the way he played it in his mind.

Worst case scenario: She is a Thai wh0re, he gets several STD's and gets away from her.

I think its more of a "I have one last good swing in me and I am gonna try to smash it over the fence or go down swinging" mentality on his part.

But the choice is his to make.

 

[2Rocky]

I've heard the saying "If you can't find a good woman, raise one" which I don't believe in one bit...

I've heard the story of a member of my GF's family who brought a Filipino woman to the states out of abject poverty. Her new found wealth led to a shopping addiction and infidelity. Ironically Gf's Ex husband and Ex BIL both married Filipino women with good results so far looking from the outside...

My point is that you can't say women from "X" country are good or bad. My feeling is that the more similar a couple is in life experiences, the more likely their goals and way of life will be in synch leading to a long happy life together.

 

[Soldier King]

Men leave woman for someone younger,
women leave men when they have no money.

This is not the only equation when people give up on each other of course.

The key is that they didn't forge any bond worth anything. They agreed to a relationship not based on love but simply for shallow things they could get out of it.

When 2 people are committed to each other, they can figure out how to solve almost every problem that comes up. If their heart was never in it, when the obstacles no doubt come up, things will surely split them apart.

I obviously couldn't pick for her, but if I did have a daughter, I would rather have someone who was committed to her with strong faith for life then be with someone with just looks or money who didn't value her, because I think that her other problems could be solved through their bond.

A good woman deserves the complete package, money and looks and commitment from a guy but if I had to choose one: commitment is what I would choose as the most valuable trait.


Now from a man's perspective, you can't control what a woman does in a marriage, she might leave you, she might stay, that's really up to God to decide if he wants to keep her heart for you as long as you are giving constant effort. That's why I am trying to tell these guys go for someone truly special inside and outside. And when you find that rare person, dont let her go, don't quit, don't be afraid to look stupid, just do whatever is necessary to win her heart. Because then if you do get her, you picked the one you loved and now have that strong bond to keep through marriage when you encounter troubles and turbulence.

 

[BeExcellent]

NFN, but you're judging both situations. If the dude wants to be a mark, let him. It's his life, let the chips fall where they may.

No not at all. If this is how he chooses to conduct himself then that’s his decision and whatever happens is his deal.

I found it interesting because knowing him (and my guy knows him VERY well) and knowing his spouse as well it seems he’s feeling entitled and grass is greener.

My guy knew both of them since before they married and is friends with both (he’s known the wife longer in fact) and he’s asked my opinion about reaching out to be supportive of her...my advice to him has been to leave her alone for the time being if he values the friendship with his buddy. I think nothing good arises from my guy having side conversations with the buddy’s soon to be ex wife...

He thinks the wife (who has moved out) already has someone else and that his buddy is wanting something fresh, young & exotic in part to soothe his own ego.

A couple months ago the buddy (he and wife reside across the country) visited out here with my guy...and the idea was to chase skirts and so forth...but my guy ended up wanting to hang out more having me along (his idea not mine), and the buddy told me one of those nights out that picking up women has lost its luster.

I also don’t think he pulls like he once did IRL and this bothers his ego.

The opinions here shed light on the matter. It’s just something I found curious since it’s much more time & expense invested in the overseas thing when real live beautiful women are everywhere close by.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Guy divorces his wife for her teenaged Asian daughter?

Nope.
Didn't say to monitor his life.
I said to watch nearly any Woody Allen flick over the past 40 years and @BeExcellent would probably get some insight.