Need your thoughts on this

[Wolfyu91]

Hi All,

I meet this girl through online matrimonial app. It's an arranged marriage scenario. She seem interested in me and we talked on messages for few days where she was messaging me every day. She seem respectful on messages but was once angry that I didn't talk much to her. I told her that I don't like messaging too much and don't talk much to people I have never met.

So we met one day and talked for few hours. I didn't find her much attractive physically also felt short for my height. Also I felt bored talking to her. She said that she don't care about marriage but is now taking step because her mom told her which I didn't much liked. Also she told me that she had a past relationship for 2 year because she needed emotional support at that time but the guys parents didn't approve her. She also told me how she used to cut her hair very short and colour them for getting attention from her friends and family on facebook. She showed me medium level interest that time.

After a day I received a message from her asking what I decided as her mom is asking her. I told her that I am still unsure about it as it's tough decision to make in one meeting. She told me to let her know if I wanna meet again, to which I responded okay ( I was thinking about getting to meet one more time and then decide how it goes). That night she messaged me If I had dinner, to which I didn't responded ( was sleeping that time and next day didn't felt like it's so important to respond to this message). Next day she declined me on app.
I didn't like her declining me without any conversation so I never contacted her again from then ( Felt like she does strange things to get attention and didn't liked it).
I wanted to know was I right for not contacting her again ( I feel like I am right) or should I have contacted her again even after her declining to setup one more meeting.

Thanks

 

[gettinit]

From the sound of things, you weren't interested in her anyway so I don't see the need to contact her again. Why bother? Find someone that doesn't bore you.

 

[Wolfyu91]

From the sound of things, you weren't interested in her anyway so I don't see the need to contact her again. Why bother? Find someone that doesn't bore you.

Hey,
Yes you are right I am not that much interested in her but as this was an arranged marriage scenario (where love usually builds after you marry ) and she had a pretty stable job so I was thinking about from financial purposes, like if I should have made any effort would I have been right doing so even after she declined such vaguely.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Welcome aboard...

I'm not qualified to speak about cultures or attitudes that would involve arranged marriages (I'm not knocking it or anything).
But, I *am* qualified to speak about women that are best to avoid.
This gal has demonstrated impulsive behavior, attention getting behavior, rude behavior and passive/aggressive behavior. Also, she allows her mother to dictate her own decisions.

And... seeing as though she's in the "making the first impression stages"... you can conclude that this was her 'best' side and it will only get worse. And... even more worse once she is married.

No offense, but I don't think that you lost any sort of 'prize.'
Stick around here for a while and pick up some tips... and you'll expand those options and find much better.

 

[Wolfyu91]

Welcome aboard...

I'm not qualified to speak about cultures or attitudes that would involve arranged marriages (I'm not knocking it or anything).
But, I *am* qualified to speak about women that are best to avoid.
This gal has demonstrated impulsive behavior, attention getting behavior, rude behavior and passive/aggressive behavior. Also, she allows her mother to dictate her own decisions.

And... seeing as though she's in the "making the first impression stages"... you can conclude that this was her 'best' side and it will only get worse. And... even more worse once she is married.

No offense, but I don't think that you lost any sort of 'prize.'
Stick around here for a while and pick up some tips... and you'll expand those options and find much better.

Hi,

Thanks!. This was the response I wanted to hear. Wanted to know if her behaviour was right as it made me more disinterested in her.
Also I know her mom is a very simple women and she is not dictating anything here but her constantly using her mom as an excuse on everything in our conversation and not taking any responsibility on herself didn't felt right to me.
Like after marriage what if she says I married you because my mom told me too, pretty awkward it can get.

 

[Black Widow Void]

You are already ahead of most new members that join.
Lots of new members have their 'blinders' on. They don't want to see fault in a gal (no matter how obvious it is) .

It sounds to me like you already had an idea about things, and wanted to get an 2nd opinion (which is always a good idea).

If you've read any of the other forum topics... Don't let any of the old timer members here fool you. They have made their share of mistakes just like the rest of us. No one will ever figure women completely out. As long as we learn from our mistakes, we become "newer and improved" versions of ourselves and this works to our advantage with women and life in general.

It sounds like you're on a good path.

 

[Wolfyu91]

You are already ahead of most new members that join.
Lots of new members have their 'blinders' on. They don't want to see fault in a gal (no matter how obvious it is) .

It sounds to me like you already had an idea about things, and wanted to get an 2nd opinion (which is always a good idea).

If you've read any of the other forum topics... Don't let any of the old timer members here fool you. They have made their share of mistakes just like the rest of us. No one will ever figure women completely out. As long as we learn from our mistakes, we become "newer and improved" versions of ourselves and this works to our advantage with women and life in general.

It sounds like you're on a good path.

Thanks!

I have been reading advices from so suave and other good forums since last few years and know their teachings.
Yes I came here for 2nd opinion what other experienced guys say about my this interaction.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You don't have to get married to get laid. Call me ethnocentric, but I hate to see anyone throw their life away for the sake of pvssy.

 

[Wolfyu91]

You don't have to get married to get laid. Call me ethnocentric, but I hate to see anyone throw their life away for the sake of pvssy.

. Well I am not marrying for ***** otherwise I would have been married till now. I am trying to find right partner for marriage, which don't make my life hell after marriage.

 

[bcude]

First you find a good partner you're compatible with on every level without a doubt, then you reward her with the ultimate commitment of marriage. Trying to do it backwards only sets up for hell on your part. Marriage without a long vetting phase is suicide.
Men think that overlooking some things will be alright once married they will disappear, but they will not go away, they will magnify with time. Just ask all divorced men on here. Experience is the best teacher.

When you feel the need to make a post to ask if she's right for you, she's not.

 

[Visionist]

The colouring her hair for attention is a huge red flag.

 

[Wolfyu91]

First you find a good partner you're compatible with on every level without a doubt, then you reward her with the ultimate commitment of marriage. Trying to do it backwards only sets up for hell on your part. Marriage without a long vetting phase is suicide.
Men think that overlooking some things will be alright once married they will disappear, but they will not go away, they will magnify with time. Just ask all divorced men on here. Experience is the best teacher.

When you feel the need to make a post to ask if she's right for you, she's not.

Yeah, that is it what I was thinking if her behaviour would have changed if I had showed any kind of commitment.
But her showing interest for few days and then declining vaguely in a day shows how much she really liked me.

 

[lizardking82]

This sounds and probably is a senseless, boring, half-"dead" kinda person. She would slowly kill your soul if you go anywhere near. She's making you "sh1t or get off the pot" a couple of weeks in! Think that would get better later on? LOL

 

[Wolfyu91]

The colouring her hair for attention is a huge red flag.

This sounds and probably is a senseless, boring, half-"dead" kinda person. She would slowly kill your soul if you go anywhere near. She's making you "sh1t or get off the pot" a couple of weeks in! Think that would get better later on? LOL

Hello,
Thats what I felt when I met her. I didn't felt any vibe from her and she seems like a dead person. She didn't came dressed like she was excited to meet me. I felt no excitement and craze from her. She didn't tried to impress me in any way. Her telling me that she doesn't care so much if she get married or not, (even if she lied) destroyed my interest more. I myself thought what a boring life I would have after I marry her ( I want someone who is excited about life).