Does the dating pool get smaller as you get older?

[biggoal]

@BeExcellent, take @biggoal under your wing and help him. He's a lost puppy without any sense of direction. Take one for the team.

She's 51 which for me is just a tad too old. That 49 year old teacher was really pushing the age for me, BUT if that's her in her avatar and it's a current pic I would make an exception because she looks GOOD! LOL. I don't think she lives close to me. But if she's wealthy like she sounds like because she uses a high end net worth dating site then she has the cash to fly out to me and hangout for a bit

 

[BeExcellent]

Ugh. I will get accused of bragging but this is what happens:

Men of all ages notice me. My son’s high school classmates check me out (and tell my son, lol). Good looking men ranging in age from mid 20s to mid 70s will hit on me. Both in real life and when I did OLD for a short while. OLD is too much of a time sink. I’m too busy to review stuff for hours. For very few men I think are interesting.

I don’t look 50. When bouncers see my birth year and say “Wow. No way”, I just smile. The younger men do not realize my age. They approach me because they think I’m attractive or hot.

In fact I will tell them I’m 50 to run them off (because why WOULD they want someone my age, lol)...and they usually say “Damn” or something similar...and I’ll tell them I have 3 kids too...and I just grin. It’s pretty amusing really. They often aren’t quite sure what to do...and IDGAF so it makes me no difference what they think. This is real life by the way, in person. Nightlife scene usually...often when my guy heads to the men’s room although some ballsy guys have tried to approach me right under his nose (that gets shut down by him quickly and covertly...)

And not drunk dudes either, well not a high percentage anyway...

My point is men would not approach me if I wasn’t attractive...and these are fit, good looking men. The fat or nerdy types do NOT typically approach me at all. Older men who approach might be less attractive but more confident, which is par for the course. I go to places where attractive people go, so there aren’t many fat unattractive people there to start with.

And I am polite but direct that a.) I’m with someone and b.) I’m not interested.

I do get men at times who will hang around thinking I don’t really have a boyfriend, and then my very tall dark & handsome man arrives back from the men’s room and gives me a kiss, takes my hand & buys me a drink. So then it’s obvious that yes I am in fact with someone. At that point the men leave, as we are obviously together.

I’m an outlier. That’s Ok. It is just fine with me.

 

[biggoal]

Ugh. I will get accused of bragging but this is what happens:

Men of all ages notice me. My son’s high school classmates check me out (and tell my son, lol). Good looking men ranging in age from mid 20s to mid 70s will hit on me. Both in real life and when I did OLD for a short while. OLD is too much of a time sink. I’m too busy to review stuff for hours. For very few men I think are interesting.

I don’t look 50. When bouncers see my birth year and say “Wow. No way”, I just smile. The younger men do not realize my age. They approach me because they think I’m attractive or hot.

In fact I will tell them I’m 50 to run them off (because why WOULD they want someone my age, lol)...and they usually say “Damn” or something similar...and I’ll tell them I have 3 kids too...and I just grin. It’s pretty amusing really. They often aren’t quite sure what to do...and IDGAF so it makes me no difference what they think. This is real life by the way, in person. Nightlife scene usually...often when my guy heads to the men’s room although some ballsy guys have tried to approach me right under his nose (that gets shut down by him quickly and covertly...)

And not drunk dudes either, well not a high percentage anyway...

My point is men would not approach me if I wasn’t attractive...and these are fit, good looking men. The fat or nerdy types do NOT typically approach me at all. Older men who approach might be less attractive but more confident, which is par for the course. I go to places where attractive people go, so there aren’t many fat unattractive people there to start with.

And I am polite but direct that a.) I’m with someone and b.) I’m not interested.

I do get men at times who will hang around thinking I don’t really have a boyfriend, and then my very tall dark & handsome man arrives back from the men’s room and gives me a kiss, takes my hand & buys me a drink. So then it’s obvious that yes I am in fact with someone. At that point the men leave, as we are obviously together.

I’m an outlier. That’s Ok. It is just fine with me.

How old is your boyfriend?

 

[BeExcellent]

Big goal, follow @Glassguy ‘s advice. Read his threads. You are too eager beaver and it is off putting.

You must learn to behave as though beautiful women are as normal to you as breathing. Otherwise you reveal yourself as hopelessly outclassed.

No woman wants to feel she outclasses her man. No woman. Digest what I just said.

Sorry so blunt. And yes the avatar is me. Photo is just a few months old.

 

[BeExcellent]

How old is your boyfriend?

He’s 48. Will be 49 in a couple of months so he’s 2 years younger.

 

[biggoal]

He’s 48. Will be 49 in a couple of months so he’s 2 years younger.

Why do you older women like guys around your age or older in most cases. Why not try a guy in their 30s? they have more stamina, more energy, testosterone, etc.

 

[biggoal]

Big goal, follow @Glassguy ‘s advice. Read his threads. You are too eager beaver and it is off putting.

You must learn to behave as though beautiful women are as normal to you as breathing. Otherwise you reveal yourself as hopelessly outclassed.

No woman wants to feel she outclasses her man. No woman. Digest what I just said.

Sorry so blunt. And yes the avatar is me. Photo is just a few months old.

My mom cringes when I tell her I;m going on a date and these women I tell her are typically 39 to 44 usually except with that hot teacher who just turned 50. I didn't tell her she was 50. She says that's too old. My age or a few years younger. She calls these post wall women damaged goods.

 

[RickTheToad]

@BeExcellent, IDK, but it may be worth a shot for you.. I mean, @biggoal said 50 is his cut off. However, maybe, if you really show your worth, he'll make an exception and you to audition to be with him. Again, it's a long shot, but hey, so is life.

 

[BeExcellent]

@BeExcellent, IDK, but it may be worth a shot for you.. I mean, @biggoal said 50 is his cut off. However, maybe, if you really show your worth, he'll make an exception and you to audition to be with him. Again, it's a long shot, but hey, so is life.

I’m being nice over here. Knock it off already, lol. It’s past my bedtime & Im cranky but still I’m being courteous....

 

[BeExcellent]

Why do you older women like guys around your age or older in most cases. Why not try a guy in their 30s? they have more stamina, more energy, testosterone, etc.

I cannot speak for all women. Some like a younger man for the reasons you alluded to. I do not. In fact the man I’m seeing is the youngest man I’ve ever dated relative to my own age. Here’s why I prefer someone close to my own age:

1. He has enough life experience to lead me in the relationship. I require a man who I can respect.

2. I require a man who I desire. I don’t desire much younger men. For many reasons. I just don’t.

I’m not after a boy toy. Yawn. I want someone who I consider a MAN.

 

[biggoal]

I cannot speak for all women. Some like a younger man for the reasons you alluded to. I do not. In fact the man I’m seeing is the youngest man I’ve ever dated relative to my own age. Here’s why I prefer someone close to my own age:

1. He has enough life experience to lead me in the relationship. I require a man who I can respect.

2. I require a man who I desire. I don’t desire much younger men. For many reasons. I just don’t.

I’m not after a boy toy. Yawn. I want someone who I consider a MAN.

I think you should give it a try "wink wink." But i might wear you out since I'm younger

All seriousness, what is it especially with women in their 40s and even your age who prefer guys in their 50s for example when they generally are not in very good shape, or at least not like a 30 year old, balding, greying hair, etc. versus a young Chad?

It seems the older women are looking for more stability, financial stability versus looks like a 22 year old girl does. I mean GENERALLY a typical 25 year old guy is not going to chase a 50 year old. Most that age would think that is gross.

Heck the guys on here around my age think it's gross going for a 49 year old hot teacher. I could never imagine being with a woman in her 50s for example. I can't see how women even in their 40s stomach a 60 year old which I see a lot in FL. How can a woman in her 40s be attracted to a 60 year old? I could never imagine banging a 60 year old. That just shows women think differently. Even if the woman has a billion bucks I wouldn't be with her if she was old.

 

[RickTheToad]

I’m being nice over here. Knock it off already, lol. It’s past my bedtime & Im cranky but still I’m being courteous....

Hey, don't hate the player, hate the game ;p

 

[ubercat]

Whoops sorry BE I thought under your wing as in guidance not slippers by the bed.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Ugh. I will get accused of bragging but this is what happens:

Men of all ages notice me. My son’s high school classmates check me out (and tell my son, lol). Good looking men ranging in age from mid 20s to mid 70s will hit on me. Both in real life and when I did OLD for a short while. OLD is too much of a time sink. I’m too busy to review stuff for hours. For very few men I think are interesting.

I don’t look 50. When bouncers see my birth year and say “Wow. No way”, I just smile. The younger men do not realize my age. They approach me because they think I’m attractive or hot.

In fact I will tell them I’m 50 to run them off (because why WOULD they want someone my age, lol)...and they usually say “Damn” or something similar...and I’ll tell them I have 3 kids too...and I just grin. It’s pretty amusing really. They often aren’t quite sure what to do...and IDGAF so it makes me no difference what they think. This is real life by the way, in person. Nightlife scene usually...often when my guy heads to the men’s room although some ballsy guys have tried to approach me right under his nose (that gets shut down by him quickly and covertly...)

And not drunk dudes either, well not a high percentage anyway...

My point is men would not approach me if I wasn’t attractive...and these are fit, good looking men. The fat or nerdy types do NOT typically approach me at all. Older men who approach might be less attractive but more confident, which is par for the course. I go to places where attractive people go, so there aren’t many fat unattractive people there to start with.

And I am polite but direct that a.) I’m with someone and b.) I’m not interested.

I do get men at times who will hang around thinking I don’t really have a boyfriend, and then my very tall dark & handsome man arrives back from the men’s room and gives me a kiss, takes my hand & buys me a drink. So then it’s obvious that yes I am in fact with someone. At that point the men leave, as we are obviously together.

I’m an outlier. That’s Ok. It is just fine with me.

You are a cunning outlier, not many women would participate in a men’s forum. You must have grown up with brothers.

Being an outlier, what has supported you in keeping a sound spirit, mind and body?

 

[BeExcellent]

Whoops sorry BE I thought under your wing as in guidance not slippers by the bed.

I know silly. You know I know too, lol. I’m happy to offer guidance around here same as everyone else...y’all are funny.

Hey, don't hate the player, hate the game ;p

Exactly, lmao.

@biggoal you have to understand something. Couple of things. 1. Attraction is a mystery in some cases. I have friends (who I introduced to each other) who are madly in love, traveling the world together. He is 64, good looking and until he met my other friend was a player’s player. Women everywhere. Women love him. He’s charming, fun, hilarious and well set for life but not wealthy. Has a pension & some assets & enough money to support himself.

She is 44. Tall thin blue eyed blonde who has a PhD and speaks 5 languages. No kids, never married (had a 10 yr LTR). She is the perfect foil for him & he for her. She has assets and enough income to take care of herself.

They are Bonnie & Clyde like compatible without crime of course. They are ridiculously happy & enjoying doing life together. They both beam around each other. It’s pretty neat really.

So there is mad attraction. But it’s more than that.

The second thing is that priorities shift in middle age. For men that shift happens at 50 years old (give or take), and for women it’s more commonly 40 years old (give or take). The shift is the realization that you are in fact getting older and you aren’t 25 anymore and your future includes old age as a reality on the horizon. So people start looking to pair off and settle down to grow old together. It’s more about finding a person you really enjoy spending time with. Sex is important but sex is only a part of that greater compatibility puzzle.

When we go to the clubs everyone knows we are the hot “older” couple there. My guy can pull women who are in their 20s or 30s. He doesn’t relate to them nor find them intellectually stimulating. He can bang them, sure. And he has done that many many times. But then you’re with a woman who you don’t desire beyond sex who wants to put demands on you, wants marriage, children, a family etc.

My guy is a grandfather. He’s had a vasectomy 20 some years ago. He’s not fathering more children (although he’s been known to lead hot young women on to keep getting laid in that regard - until they become intolerable to deal with...then they got replaced with another plate)...

My guy worries about getting older. Most men I know have it on their radar screen because most fear being alone. My guy hates to be alone. It’s his Achilles heel in a sense. So men worry about losing attractiveness just like women do. It just hits about a decade later.

The key is to become solid enough in yourself that you don’t mind being alone and this sets you up to be patient enough to await the RIGHT partner, like my friends above...rather than take any partner, which is what many people do (explains why less attractive people end up in relationships faster).

For me personally I’m OK being alone. I like some solitude in fact. My guy smothers me at times even. And he’s got his issues to be sure. And I have mine too. So I take time away from him. He has to learn to be solid in his own company which he’s always had trouble with...and if he meets someone he likes better? Go. I’ve told him this. He doesn’t go. He knows what he has with me is hard to find and not easily replaced. If I step back he always steps up. He doesn’t want to lose me. He fears losing me & losing what we have and he knows other men would be happy to have me...so his fears motivate him.

More than they should, actually. Fear motivates lots of people as time passes and you start losing friends and family to death and etc. My guy lost a friend last month. An ex lover who he was fond of. It hit him kind of hard. She was only 53 or so. He lost a dear buddy to cancer 2 years ago. It has made an indelible imprint on him the realization of one’s mortality. It’s changing how he looks at life...at relationships. And he’s not the only person I know whose experiencing this shift. It’s a natural perspective shift as we age.

We start to value meaningfulness in life and start to seek more meaningful things. Relationships. Experiences.

Younger people aren’t as a rule in Western society affronted with their own mortality. They have the illusion that they have time. So they make choices reflective of that. Older people realize time is precious and tend to make choices reflective of that...

So those are some thoughts.

 

[BeExcellent]

You are a cunning outlier, not many women would participate in a men’s forum. You must have grown up with brothers.

Being an outlier, what has supported you in keeping a sound spirit, mind and body?

I had a very strong father who was a leader of men. I am the eldest of 4 girls with a father who wanted a son. And he was unapologetic about that. So I learned to hunt, shoot, help with tools and the fixing things around the house and fixing the car and all that “boy” stuff. In addition all the other children in my neighborhood growing up were boys. So I ran in the woods, built forts, invented code languages and played ball and rode bikes with the guys as a child. I learned how to relate to men from a man...and learning how to be a girl came much later (and was confusing as all get out since my mother was distant & not a girly woman at all.)

My earliest childhood memories are bird hunting with my father. I was 3 or so.

So on a deep level I “get” men. But obviously I’ve also learned & understand how to be a woman too at this point.

So it’s less cunning & more comfort. I was always the chick who the guys were OK having in the treehouse if you will. That comfort is why men really enjoy being around me & also why I have a number of close real friends who are men. I’ve got my close girlfriends too, but I’ve just always been comfortable around men. Thanks to my father, who was the kind of great man guys here aspire to be. He wasn’t perfect but he was a man’s man in every sense. He was a great dad. I’m proud to be his daughter, God rest his soul.

 

[BeExcellent]

Beexcellent's posts make me want to throw up lol, yuck. She makes the other narcisissts here look like Mahatma Gandhi.

Then ignore me already. I’m simply answering questions and responding with some thoughts. Same as anyone else.

 

[RickTheToad]

I know silly. You know I know too, lol. I’m happy to offer guidance around here same as everyone else...y’all are funny.



Exactly, lmao.

@biggoal you have to understand something. Couple of things. 1. Attraction is a mystery in some cases. I have friends (who I introduced to each other) who are madly in love, traveling the world together. He is 64, good looking and until he met my other friend was a player’s player. Women everywhere. Women love him. He’s charming, fun, hilarious and well set for life but not wealthy. Has a pension & some assets & enough money to support himself.

She is 44. Tall thin blue eyed blonde who has a PhD and speaks 5 languages. No kids, never married (had a 10 yr LTR). She is the perfect foil for him & he for her. She has assets and enough income to take care of herself.

They are Bonnie & Clyde like compatible without crime of course. They are ridiculously happy & enjoying doing life together. They both beam around each other. It’s pretty neat really.

So there is mad attraction. But it’s more than that.

The second thing is that priorities shift in middle age. For men that shift happens at 50 years old (give or take), and for women it’s more commonly 40 years old (give or take). The shift is the realization that you are in fact getting older and you aren’t 25 anymore and your future includes old age as a reality on the horizon. So people start looking to pair off and settle down to grow old together. It’s more about finding a person you really enjoy spending time with. Sex is important but sex is only a part of that greater compatibility puzzle.

When we go to the clubs everyone knows we are the hot “older” couple there. My guy can pull women who are in their 20s or 30s. He doesn’t relate to them nor find them intellectually stimulating. He can bang them, sure. And he has done that many many times. But then you’re with a woman who you don’t desire beyond sex who wants to put demands on you, wants marriage, children, a family etc.

My guy is a grandfather. He’s had a vasectomy 20 some years ago. He’s not fathering more children (although he’s been known to lead hot young women on to keep getting laid in that regard - until they become intolerable to deal with...then they got replaced with another plate)...

My guy worries about getting older. Most men I know have it on their radar screen because most fear being alone. My guy hates to be alone. It’s his Achilles heel in a sense. So men worry about losing attractiveness just like women do. It just hits about a decade later.

The key is to become solid enough in yourself that you don’t mind being alone and this sets you up to be patient enough to await the RIGHT partner, like my friends above...rather than take any partner, which is what many people do (explains why less attractive people end up in relationships faster).

For me personally I’m OK being alone. I like some solitude in fact. My guy smothers me at times even. And he’s got his issues to be sure. And I have mine too. So I take time away from him. He has to learn to be solid in his own company which he’s always had trouble with...and if he meets someone he likes better? Go. I’ve told him this. He doesn’t go. He knows what he has with me is hard to find and not easily replaced. If I step back he always steps up. He doesn’t want to lose me. He fears losing me & losing what we have and he knows other men would be happy to have me...so his fears motivate him.

More than they should, actually. Fear motivates lots of people as time passes and you start losing friends and family to death and etc. My guy lost a friend last month. An ex lover who he was fond of. It hit him kind of hard. She was only 53 or so. He lost a dear buddy to cancer 2 years ago. It has made an indelible imprint on him the realization of one’s mortality. It’s changing how he looks at life...at relationships. And he’s not the only person I know whose experiencing this shift. It’s a natural perspective shift as we age.

We start to value meaningfulness in life and start to seek more meaningful things. Relationships. Experiences.

Younger people aren’t as a rule in Western society affronted with their own mortality. They have the illusion that they have time. So they make choices reflective of that. Older people realize time is precious and tend to make choices reflective of that...

So those are some thoughts.

You should mentor BG. He doesn't listen to any of us. It's like talking to a pet rock.

 

[biggoal]

I know silly. You know I know too, lol. I’m happy to offer guidance around here same as everyone else...y’all are funny.



Exactly, lmao.

@biggoal you have to understand something. Couple of things. 1. Attraction is a mystery in some cases. I have friends (who I introduced to each other) who are madly in love, traveling the world together. He is 64, good looking and until he met my other friend was a player’s player. Women everywhere. Women love him. He’s charming, fun, hilarious and well set for life but not wealthy. Has a pension & some assets & enough money to support himself.

She is 44. Tall thin blue eyed blonde who has a PhD and speaks 5 languages. No kids, never married (had a 10 yr LTR). She is the perfect foil for him & he for her. She has assets and enough income to take care of herself.

They are Bonnie & Clyde like compatible without crime of course. They are ridiculously happy & enjoying doing life together. They both beam around each other. It’s pretty neat really.

So there is mad attraction. But it’s more than that.

The second thing is that priorities shift in middle age. For men that shift happens at 50 years old (give or take), and for women it’s more commonly 40 years old (give or take). The shift is the realization that you are in fact getting older and you aren’t 25 anymore and your future includes old age as a reality on the horizon. So people start looking to pair off and settle down to grow old together. It’s more about finding a person you really enjoy spending time with. Sex is important but sex is only a part of that greater compatibility puzzle.

When we go to the clubs everyone knows we are the hot “older” couple there. My guy can pull women who are in their 20s or 30s. He doesn’t relate to them nor find them intellectually stimulating. He can bang them, sure. And he has done that many many times. But then you’re with a woman who you don’t desire beyond sex who wants to put demands on you, wants marriage, children, a family etc.

My guy is a grandfather. He’s had a vasectomy 20 some years ago. He’s not fathering more children (although he’s been known to lead hot young women on to keep getting laid in that regard - until they become intolerable to deal with...then they got replaced with another plate)...

My guy worries about getting older. Most men I know have it on their radar screen because most fear being alone. My guy hates to be alone. It’s his Achilles heel in a sense. So men worry about losing attractiveness just like women do. It just hits about a decade later.

The key is to become solid enough in yourself that you don’t mind being alone and this sets you up to be patient enough to await the RIGHT partner, like my friends above...rather than take any partner, which is what many people do (explains why less attractive people end up in relationships faster).

For me personally I’m OK being alone. I like some solitude in fact. My guy smothers me at times even. And he’s got his issues to be sure. And I have mine too. So I take time away from him. He has to learn to be solid in his own company which he’s always had trouble with...and if he meets someone he likes better? Go. I’ve told him this. He doesn’t go. He knows what he has with me is hard to find and not easily replaced. If I step back he always steps up. He doesn’t want to lose me. He fears losing me & losing what we have and he knows other men would be happy to have me...so his fears motivate him.

More than they should, actually. Fear motivates lots of people as time passes and you start losing friends and family to death and etc. My guy lost a friend last month. An ex lover who he was fond of. It hit him kind of hard. She was only 53 or so. He lost a dear buddy to cancer 2 years ago. It has made an indelible imprint on him the realization of one’s mortality. It’s changing how he looks at life...at relationships. And he’s not the only person I know whose experiencing this shift. It’s a natural perspective shift as we age.

We start to value meaningfulness in life and start to seek more meaningful things. Relationships. Experiences.

Younger people aren’t as a rule in Western society affronted with their own mortality. They have the illusion that they have time. So they make choices reflective of that. Older people realize time is precious and tend to make choices reflective of that...

So those are some thoughts.

44 and 64? I could never imagine banging a 56 year old woman. That's just sick.

 

[biggoal]

You should mentor BG. He doesn't listen to any of us. It's like talking to a pet rock.

The question is could @BeExcellent handle me? I'm a handful! I mean, I got tons of energy and stamina. She's a lot older.