Does the dating pool get smaller as you get older?

[jnMissouri]

It seems like it at least on POF and online dating which is where I have met most of my gf's and dates. I recently started looking on there again and I'm seeing mostly overweight women with kids, divorced, broke, etc.

Or is this mostly an OLD phenomenon?

It seems like the number of quality women shrinks the older you get. I'm still dating a few people, and none of them are that ideal. Attractive sure. Wealthy in one case. The 19/20 year old has no kids but is broke AF, flaky at times and naive. The Canadian chic is wealthy but has a kid and is old fashioned. My old colleague I'm dating is tied down and has kids. Attractive but a PITA to do things with because she is tied down.

Seems like the older you get the more used up the women are and the more baggage they have. It'd be nice to meet an equivalent woman, attractive, educated, high income, etc. But they are mega rare it seems. Or maybe that's just the way it is here, my city is known for being the worst place in the US to date.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

It seems like it at least on POF and online dating which is where I have met most of my gf's and dates. I recently started looking on there again and I'm seeing mostly overweight women with kids, divorced, broke, etc.

It seems like the number of quality women shrinks the older you get. I'm still dating a few people, and none of them are that ideal. Attractive sure. Wealthy in one case. The 19/20 year old has no kids but is broke AF and naive. The Canadian chic is wealthy but has a kid and is old fashioned. The last one is tied down and has kids. Attractive but a PITA to do things with.

As your experience base grows your discernment increases.

Expand your venues if you want more choice.

 

[jnMissouri]

As your experience base grows your discernment increases.

Expand your venues if you want more choice.

Yeah, in my 20's it was purely about ass and I was not as picky about quality. Hot girls where everywhere. Now POF matches me with middle aged single moms working as secretaries. I'm a tech exec/management, advanced degree, well off, never married, no kids. I'm not exactly looking for low end women. You don't have to be a lawyer, but it would be nice to meet a girl that is not with children, divorced multiple times and working as a Pharmacy Tech....at 40...

I've considered meetup.com as an option. But I am such a homebody and hate going out. Hence why I have usually stuck to OLD and did great at it, even last year although they were all nutso losers in the end (not worth the drama). I need to figure out a venue or club that is comprised of people similar to me.

I did go to Yoga with a girl I'm dating and there are tons of attractive women there...but I hate yoga....maybe I should suck it up and try it for a few months and see. I almost met a couple chics over the course of 3 visits but alas, I was there with my date...she even commented that the girl from our last visit liked me.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Yeah, in my 20's it was purely about ass and I was not as picky about quality. Hot girls where everywhere. Now POF matches me with middle aged single moms working as secretaries. I'm a tech exec, advanced degree, well off, never married, no kids. I'm not exactly looking for low end women. You don't have to be a lawyer, but it would be nice to meet a girl that is not with children, divorced multiple times and working as a Pharmacy Tech....

I've considered meetup.com as an option. But I am such a homebody and hate going out. Hence why I have usually stuck to OLD and did great at it, even last year although they were all nutso losers in the end (not worth the drama). I need to figure out a venue or club that is comprised of people similar to me.

I did go to Yoga with a girl I'm dating and there are tons of attractive women there...but I hate yoga....

To be congruent, it’ll be an activity that you have an interest and derive enjoyment from.

Women are a byproduct of an interesting life, not the focus of it.

It’s really just up to your imagination.

 

[jnMissouri]

To be congruent, it’ll be an activity that you have an interest and derive enjoyment from.

Women are a byproduct of an interesting life, not the focus of it.

It’s really just up to your imagination.

Very good points. My only hobbies are real estate investing and survival-ism (not going to meet a ton of hot women doing that). I do enjoy outdoor activities.

I noticed when I was in Florida recently tons of young women were throwing themselves at me but I was with my gf at the time (single now). I've considered relocating there anyways, they seem different there...

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Very good points. My only hobbies are real estate investing and survival-ism (not going to meet a ton of hot women doing that). I do enjoy outdoor activities.

I noticed when I was in Florida recently tons of young women were throwing themselves at me but I was with my gf at the time (single now). I've considered relocating there anyways, they seem different there...

Where ever you go, there you are.

Start with where you are, stop being lazy.

There is an abundance of outdoor stuff you can do. From rock-climbing to kayaking to mushroom hunting to sailing to hiking, etc. all of them have eager women looking for HV guys.

You can figure it out.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I haven't done the personals in years (for the reasons you described).
.. and here's my theory.

Ten years ago, there were plenty of women trying on line dating for the first time. Also many of these women had been single for a while.

Most of the women now are "returning customers." Also, there's a good chance that they haven't been single for a while, but instead are looking for a 'band-aid.' In other words, they don't want to feel depressed about their recent break up and so they 'lose themselves' with a "diversion" (the new guy they meet after re-joining the personals).
Because they didn't work on themselves, they are now arriving with additional baggage from their most recent bad relationship.

Again, ten years ago (and earlier) , there were 'success' stories and so, newer women of the same higher caliber would join for the first time.

Fast forward to the present; a lot of women have been scammed, read bad news stories and have had friends that didn't have such a good experience. Consequently, the 'higher caliber' women are now reluctant to join. And now... it's *a lot* more lower quality, and repeat customers (of the damaged goods variety).

 

[jnMissouri]

I haven't done the personals in years (for the reasons you described).
.. and here's my theory.

Ten years ago, there were plenty of women trying on line dating for the first time. Also many of these women had been single for a while.

Most of the women now are "returning customers." Also, there's a good chance that they haven't been single for a while, but instead are looking for a 'band-aid.' In other words, they don't want to feel depressed about their recent break up and so they 'lose themselves' with a "diversion" (the new guy they meet after re-joining the personals).
Because they didn't work on themselves, they are now arriving with additional baggage from their most recent bad relationship.

Again, ten years ago (and earlier) , there were 'success' stories and so, newer women of the same higher caliber would join for the first time.

Fast forward to the present; a lot of women have been scammed, read bad news stories and have had friends that didn't have such a good experience. Consequently, the 'higher caliber' women are now reluctant to join. And now... it's *a lot* more lower quality, and repeat customers (of the damaged goods variety).

I actually noticed that a few of the girls on POF in my area have been on there for a year or more....I've met attractive but low value women on there before. Except for one, my gf of 9 years who I recently split with. She was great in a lot of ways. Alright, I will give going out to some of these events a shot.

 

[jnMissouri]

I signed up for meetup.com and what I see for my interests in my area is pretty disappointing. Out of all the groups there were 2 decent looking girls....and mostly dudes.

 

[ubercat]

I use meetups mainly for sports. Yeah they do seem a c0ck forest.

Most women I know don't have a variety of interests gym or yoga is it. Rest of time catching up with friends. Makes sense we know they r more herdy.

Yoga, pet or wildlife rescue, Greenie stuff and paid cooking classes r the only places I ve seen clusters of chicks.

 

[bcude]

I was curious and noticed the same in my city, c0ck forest on meetup.com. However, these pub meetings for expats seemed full of girls. Try them.

 

[BeExcellent]

The short answer is yes. The dating pool gets smaller. Only truly top tier people have myriad choice.

Good for you to break off with the LTR. Good that you ditched the other nutball too. Neither one was going to make you happy so best to move on. Kudos.

You have to decide what you can deal with. If you date a never married no kids woman whose not in her 20s, the older she is the more likely there’s a reason nobody wifed her up. Most women 35 to 45 or 50 are going to have kids. That’s what normal well adjusted women do during those years is raise kids.

If you’ve never married and never had kids and you are mid 40s you are going to have a tough time accepting a woman with kids because she CANNOT give you 100% of her attention. I have friends who are not fathers. One is 37, one is 44, one is 55, one is 57. The 44 year old is the only one who has been married (and the only one who enjoys children)...he’s also got the most accurate expectations of the group I mentioned.

The other 3 men do not want kids and actively select against women who have or desire children. The 37 year old wants to marry but not have kids. It’s tough. He dates beautiful women who are younger (these are all objective fit, successful handsome men), but he dismisses them because they want kids.

Both of the confirmed bachelors in their 50s can choose women whose kids are already grown, but even then they sulk if their lady gives time to adult children or grandchildren.

It’s a perspective thing, IMHO. You want a woman who is going to be 100% devoted to you but childless and never married. Those 2 things are somewhat mutually exclusive.

Never married childless women are going to be mental cases in some way if they aren’t relatively young (or something odd happened like her fiancé died etc.) and older emotionally stable women are going to be mothers. So pick your poison or date very young. If you aren’t getting intellectual stimulation from the much younger women then you are going to have to choose what you can deal with.

High quality women are what every man wants. If they end up on the market they get snatched up fast and by quality men, as you are observing.

Why not choose activities that you enjoy and see who shows up there? I realize a survivalist group may not have lots of chicks, but maybe you’ll find someone hiking or at a wine class or art gallery? If you want a more sophisticated woman you’ll need to go places these women go. If you hate yoga hang out and do a little work at the coffee shop next door. Yoga chicks will grab a tea or coffee after class...

But figure out what YOU want. What you enjoy. If you hate yoga, don’t do yoga. Yes there’s lots of fit women there. But if you hate yoga & are just going for sake of meeting women? Wrong focus & disingenuous.

That’s bad juju.

You gotta do what suits you.

If you don’t go out much do you prefer a homebody? What are your expectations?

 

[biggoal]

It seems like it at least on POF and online dating which is where I have met most of my gf's and dates. I recently started looking on there again and I'm seeing mostly overweight women with kids, divorced, broke, etc.

Or is this mostly an OLD phenomenon?

It seems like the number of quality women shrinks the older you get. I'm still dating a few people, and none of them are that ideal. Attractive sure. Wealthy in one case. The 19/20 year old has no kids but is broke AF, flaky at times and naive. The Canadian chic is wealthy but has a kid and is old fashioned. My old colleague I'm dating is tied down and has kids. Attractive but a PITA to do things with because she is tied down.

Seems like the older you get the more used up the women are and the more baggage they have. It'd be nice to meet an equivalent woman, attractive, educated, high income, etc. But they are mega rare it seems. Or maybe that's just the way it is here, my city is known for being the worst place in the US to date.

What part of Missouri are you in?

Btw get off POF! That is a trashy site. It's free so yes it's going to have everyone and everything in a bad way on it.

The spin to it is that down here in my area of FL it's the opposite. There are TONS more post wall on OLD, especially match and that.

I mean 40 and over. The more decent looking women on Match down here are at least 40. The few 35 and under I see on OLD are fat, nasty, etc. Once in a great while a few hotties, BUT the decent looking ones are around 40. Post wall on OLD outnumbers pre wall like 2 to 1 down here.

Why do you think almost all my OLD dates are 38 and over? There literally is nothing 35 and under unless covered in tats or a land whale.

 

[jnMissouri]

I saw some statistics on Dan Bacon's YouTube channel the other day that 70% women polled said they have not tried Tinder....

The number of men on Tinder vs. women is atrocious. I tried Tinder Gold and finally started getting matches like crazy..but they were all head cases with kids or girls who wanted someone to take to a party (because they didn't have a car and needed a ride). Glad I found that out quickly through questioning so I realized what it was and said lol, NOOO....

In any case, I renewed my membership on a high net worth dating site and already have two numbers, both from HOT women, one of them is high net worth like me but out of state. Both seem cool and I have a date with the local one tomorrow. MUCH better results than POF. I get laid on POF but it's far lower quality women for a lot more effort and numbers game...

 

[biggoal]

I saw some statistics on Dan Bacon's YouTube channel the other day that 70% women polled said they have not tried Tinder....

The number of men on Tinder vs. women is atrocious. I tried Tinder Gold and finally started getting matches like crazy..but they were all head cases with kids or girls who wanted someone to take to a party (because they didn't have a car and needed a ride). Glad I found that out quickly through questioning so I realized what it was and said lol, NOOO....

In any case, I renewed my membership on a high net worth dating site and already have two numbers, both from HOT women, one of them is high net worth like me but out of state. Both seem cool and I have a date with the local one tomorrow. MUCH better results than POF. I get laid on POF but it's far lower quality women for a lot more effort and numbers game...

have you tried facebook dating app? Mostly crap women on there now, but you might have a bit better success. The key is leaving a comment on their photos since they don't have a message feature on it. I think most people just like the profiles on facebook dating not knowing you can message someone if you leave a photo comment.

I just found an HB7 looking brunette 30 year old that just moved here. Talking to her now. I think I came on too heavy though to her so I dunno how that will go.

 

[jnMissouri]

have you tried facebook dating app? Mostly crap women on there now, but you might have a bit better success. The key is leaving a comment on their photos since they don't have a message feature on it. I think most people just like the profiles on facebook dating not knowing you can message someone if you leave a photo comment.

I just found an HB7 looking brunette 30 year old that just moved here. Talking to her now. I think I came on too heavy though to her so I dunno how that will go.

I have not, thank you I will give it a try. Being such a homebody (I live in a nice house and it's very comfortable here) I hate going out really to meet people. Plus I hate crowds and loud places in general.

 

[biggoal]

I have not, thank you I will give it a try. Being such a homebody (I live in a nice house and it's very comfortable here) I hate going out really to meet people. Plus I hate crowds and loud places in general.

Me too. I hate clubs or bars. granted my town has none and the only club has shootings on occasion around here. Most of the younger people here go up to St. Pete, Tampa or Orlando to hangout. Even that hot 49 year old teacher goes to Tampa St. Pete for day trips with her girl friends because of how boring it is here and she grew up here.

If you hate crowds I would not move to Florida unless it's rural North FL lol and you will be in dating hell up there with the hicks. I'm from St. Louis which is the same size as Tampa metro but it's less crowded due to layout and design. Just more comfortable feeling overall.

 

[BeExcellent]

Generally I will not do OLD. I too did a high net worth site for awhile & had plenty of matches...but very few were local. Many were international which is utterly pointless in my view...

And I got too many MUCH younger men hitting me up. While flattering nothing turns me off like a man young enough to be my child. Um. Just. Nope. No way. Cannot do the cougar thing. Just cannot. Lol

 

[biggoal]

Generally I will not do OLD. I too did a high net worth site for awhile & had plenty of matches...but very few were local. Many were international which is utterly pointless in my view...

And I got too many MUCH younger men hitting me up. While flattering nothing turns me off like a man young enough to be my child. Um. Just. Nope. No way. Cannot do the cougar thing. Just cannot. Lol

LOL. I'm 36. My cutoff very max is 50. I know a meaningful relationship won't result from that. But it's odd at 36 from OLD the dates I get are women older than me, even that hot 49 year old teacher. I find these cougars are a bit easier to hold a conversation with as well.

So you had men in their late 20s or 30 going for you? How desperate is THAT? Were these nerdy fat lardball guys or regular looking guys? No reason why a normal guy that age should go for a 50 year old. Granted around me on OLD I can see why because very few under 40 on there.

On one of my OLD dates the girl showed me her Match inbox. It was bombarded with men of all walks and all ages. Really mind boggling. Granted this was a pretty hot 38 year old but it was bombarded. I mean I'm shocked that I got the replies that I do or dates with these chicks when I see how slammed their inboxes are down here due to the small number of decent women on there. Especially not being 6 foot tall Chad or being loaded with money. Maybe it's because I didn't come off as an arse, or send corny sleeze lines I dunno. She was 38 and had messages from ages 19 on up to late 70s.

 

[RickTheToad]

Generally I will not do OLD. I too did a high net worth site for awhile & had plenty of matches...but very few were local. Many were international which is utterly pointless in my view...

And I got too many MUCH younger men hitting me up. While flattering nothing turns me off like a man young enough to be my child. Um. Just. Nope. No way. Cannot do the cougar thing. Just cannot. Lol

@BeExcellent, take @biggoal under your wing and help him. He's a lost puppy without any sense of direction. Take one for the team.