Is giving flowers a supplicating move?

[The Diver]

When I was married and a very F blue piller, (for 20 years), I had a ritual bringing to my Ex a Lilys every Friday evening. (She is an Ex now , so obviously it didn't help, Lol)

Two years ago, I dated a girl for 1.5 years. All this time I didn't bring her any plowers. Then one day, before entering her place, I picked up a few flowers from her own garden and gave it to her. She was in heaven, Lol. lesson F learned.
What is on short supply will appreciate much more.

 

[SoSuave666]

most of you guys are meeting dates on the internet. That’s the problem. You have no idea what the other person is about and you eventually convince them to meet and maybe you can convince her to like you. Of course you don’t bring flowers to a date in that scenario it’s idiotic.

but I offer you a different scenario. One where you meet organically at a hobby you both enjoy. It’s clear from the start you’re both single and you didnt need a dating app to make it apparent. You invite her for a drink or a coffee and she accepts. The vibe is good and the energy is high. You’re playful with each other and as you pass on the street there’s a vendor selling flowers or a patch of daisys on the grass and you pick one and stick it in her hair and smirk, saying “cheap flower for a cheap date.” She is playfully annoyed so on and so forth.

I specifically use that example because it has happened to me. And if your vibe is good enough you can honestly call a woman a cheap date, give her a flower, have a few drinks at a few spots, and she turns into an LTR. But you people who meet girls strictly online are missing out on the best part of courtship for women: the uncertainty. When everyone swipes right it’s clear you want to fvck. Bringing flowers or supplicating is trying to deceive her into thinking you’re a nice guy, you’re doing it for an end goal of secks. It’s incongruent with the vibe you want to give off which is secksual and mysterious. When a woman KNOWS you are interested in her and you play the subtle romance game, you’re a pansy. But when she’s unsure and you’re building attraction and you give those subtle playful hints...she’s putty.

 

[Dash Riprock]

So you think I'm wasting my time checking old daily and crafting out messages and then go on these dates and they end up like how you describe it.

That's how my old dates go normally.

If you're a busy professional like me, OLD is almost a necessary evil if you want to stay active in the dating market. I'm also over 45 so things like bar hopping, parties, etc. are out or limited. There are other avenues like the gym, networking events, and even the dog park so I try to see OLD as a supplement only. Still many of the women who are on OLD are unsatisfied with whom they've met IRL and are also busy with a career and maybe kids so it's just another way for them to try and meet people too. They're not all losers and BPD'ers as some profess here.

I haven't met many off of OLD who have impressed me and I've "clicked" with even fewer. I will admit my standards have gotten really high, especially the past year. I'm really not "looking" for a gf or LTR or anything like that, but the door is always open a crack if I do meet someone extraordinary. I just don't give up easily, I guess. Quitting is not in my DNA. I actually do OK getting dates on OLD, and sometimes I'll admit I just don't put in enough effort to keep things going once I do meet someone. It just seems like so much f*ucking work right now. I've been in successful relationships and am well aware what you need to do to keep things growing and moving. It takes a lot of time of which I just don't want to put in right now.

OLD isn't as bad as people make it out to be. It is a good tool for busy people, but use it as a supplement only, not the focal point. And have a life outside of dating. Dating and women should be a small side dish on your huge plate of food.

Good luck to you.

 

[biggoal]

If you're a busy professional like me, OLD is almost a necessary evil if you want to stay active in the dating market. I'm also over 45 so things like bar hopping, parties, etc. are out or limited. There are other avenues like the gym, networking events, and even the dog park so I try to see OLD as a supplement only. Still many of the women who are on OLD are unsatisfied with whom they've met IRL and are also busy with a career and maybe kids so it's just another way for them to try and meet people too. They're not all losers and BPD'ers as some profess here.

I haven't met many off of OLD who have impressed me and I've "clicked" with even fewer. I will admit my standards have gotten really high, especially the past year. I'm really not "looking" for a gf or LTR or anything like that, but the door is always open a crack if I do meet someone extraordinary. I just don't give up easily, I guess. Quitting is not in my DNA. I actually do OK getting dates on OLD, and sometimes I'll admit I just don't put in enough effort to keep things going once I do meet someone. It just seems like so much f*ucking work right now. I've been in successful relationships and am well aware what you need to do to keep things growing and moving. It takes a lot of time of which I just don't want to put in right now.

OLD isn't as bad as people make it out to be. It is a good tool for busy people, but use it as a supplement only, not the focal point. And have a life outside of dating. Dating and women should be a small side dish on your huge plate of food.

Good luck to you.

For your age OLD would probably work better. As I said on OLD the better looking women are 38 and above it seems. 35 and below very few decent ones I see and mostly land whales and full of tats on their body. I see more decent looking ones ages 38 to 50 on there. I mean decent for their age and even hot looking.

Of course that's too old for me but for you where I'm it it would be better. The thing is most 40 year old women don't want a 36 year old guy.

 

[Prettyboy Dee]

I do whatever I wanna do, I dont follow rules.....

And I dont care how it makes me look to the girl

 

[Soldier King]

I was once convinced by a friend to buy a huge ass bunch of mixed flowers for a oneitis on women's day. The cost was something like 60 bucks, absolutely insane thinking. I have absolutely no idea what came over me.

The oneitis promptly rejected me hard and started hanging out with the friend who'd somehow convinced me to buy her all those flowers for no real reason. Hmmm lol. I must have been drunk on something in my head.

I will never buy a woman flowers again of course.

maybe because it wasn't your idea. why don't you try again with a girl you like

 

[Visionist]

Because I don't relish rejection.

 

[Serenity]

This is one of many things the act itself is less important than when and why, context matters. Giving flowers in an attempt to make a woman see you as more favorable is absolutely a supplicating move, especially on the early dates.

I wouldn't give flowers with an apology either for the same reason, the flowers won't make whatever she's annoyed about go away and will only seem desperate.

I would give flowers to a woman I appreciate and have been with for a while if I felt like being nice. But only if we're already on good terms, it must be a random nice gesture with no other motives.

 

[2Rocky]

On Valentines day it is something she can show off to her work colleagues. In an LTR it is a strong move of mate claiming and is the cost of doing business.

I was amazed at the effect of just picking up a mixed bouquet from the market when grocery shopping. The GF and my daughter really enjoyed making an arrangement for the dining table and it became an activity rather than a gift.

What I get multiple dividends from though is the rose plant I won in a silent auction at a benefit dinner. Tied to a good memory and keeps on producing year round. On another trip we bought a bloom vase and every now and then one of us will put a flower in it...

FLowers for an Apology is just begging her to be angry and bitchy with you. it is rewarding her for finding fault with you at the same time diluting the good vibes of gift giving.

 

[biggoal]

I think my next OLD date I will pay for the stuff once again. The last few I didn't pay for their coffee or drinks and I don't think they liked that.

 

[zekko]

I wouldn't say flowers are supplicating necessarily, but I would put them in the category of "the big romantic gestures that girls don't really appreciate".

 

[Soldier King]

When I was married and a very F blue piller, (for 20 years), I had a ritual bringing to my Ex a Lilys every Friday evening. (She is an Ex now , so obviously it didn't help, Lol)

Actually that's a purple pill, because that's the color of Lilies! I think anyways .
That's really romantic actually, somehow I think and I could be wrong, it wasn't the flowers holding you back in that relationship and it did more than you knew for her , I bet you she misses those.

 

[derby1]

I remember when i apologised to an LTR with flowers to her work, she was that good at AW'ing. she put a picture on facebook to build her social status saying she had a "secret admirer" so the herd mentality females were all over it, she knew they were from me and never acknowledged it LOL

 

[Soldier King]

That's messed up, I bet you she still remembers.

 

[biggoal]

most of you guys are meeting dates on the internet. That’s the problem. You have no idea what the other person is about and you eventually convince them to meet and maybe you can convince her to like you. Of course you don’t bring flowers to a date in that scenario it’s idiotic.

but I offer you a different scenario. One where you meet organically at a hobby you both enjoy. It’s clear from the start you’re both single and you didnt need a dating app to make it apparent. You invite her for a drink or a coffee and she accepts. The vibe is good and the energy is high. You’re playful with each other and as you pass on the street there’s a vendor selling flowers or a patch of daisys on the grass and you pick one and stick it in her hair and smirk, saying “cheap flower for a cheap date.” She is playfully annoyed so on and so forth.

I specifically use that example because it has happened to me. And if your vibe is good enough you can honestly call a woman a cheap date, give her a flower, have a few drinks at a few spots, and she turns into an LTR. But you people who meet girls strictly online are missing out on the best part of courtship for women: the uncertainty. When everyone swipes right it’s clear you want to fvck. Bringing flowers or supplicating is trying to deceive her into thinking you’re a nice guy, you’re doing it for an end goal of secks. It’s incongruent with the vibe you want to give off which is secksual and mysterious. When a woman KNOWS you are interested in her and you play the subtle romance game, you’re a pansy. But when she’s unsure and you’re building attraction and you give those subtle playful hints...she’s putty.

Guys like me only have the internet around here. At least with OLD I can message women up to 60 miles away and get a date because around here very few single decent women.

Some of us OLD dumpster diving is the only option. I saw dumpster diving because most of the women are damaged and post wall on OLD and you're digging for the scraps.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Flowers are a good idea if she is into you while if she is lukewarm or not interested it will be the final nail in the coffin of you chances.

I only bought flowers once cause my gf dumped me after I cheated, it kinda worked since she told me to fvck off but accepted them and had a good care of them.

Now buying flowers to your date on a first date is basically putting yourself in the friendzone.

 

[AttackFormation]

Flowers are a good idea if she is into you while if she is lukewarm or not interested it will be the final nail in the coffin of you chances.

I only bought flowers once cause my gf dumped me after I cheated, it kinda worked since she told me to fvck off but accepted them and had a good care of them.

Now buying flowers to your date on a first date is basically putting yourself in the friendzone.

Why'd you cheat in this case? Was it basically because you could or was the relationship dead or dying anyway?

 

[Who Dares Win]

Why'd you cheat in this case? Was it basically because you could or was the relationship dead or dying anyway?

In that moment for the first time in my life I had what it takes to live in abundance, I liked the edge and was afraid to miss something out.

A bad decision I would say right now.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

On a first date? Yes.

In an LTR, not always.

 

[AveriMurilo]

I totally get where you're coming from. Giving flowers can seem to supplicate, but it doesn't have to be that way.