bpd or something else/worse?

[Spaz]

You really think you aren't transparent? You really think you come across as a legitimate confident guy? You come across as some creepy pedo type or something.

So you won't talk abt how they manage to bully you...

How brave of you.

Let's see if the high testosterone guy is braver.

 

[Spaz]

Well, I know why you get upset in the BPD threads, it's like looking in a mirror isn't it...

Everyone thought that you kept on harping abt BPD is to help men (which you claim) but yet when ASKED, you not only REFUSE to divulge on how you manage to get bullied by those women regularly but ALSO trying to change the subject.

That's very brave of you.

Is this perhaps the tell-tale sign of a man with high testosterone?

 

[Epic Days]

There’s now a “disorder” for people who rebel against government authority and peace keepers. No matter how much they infringe on human rights and dignity.

There’s one in the mix right now to label anyone who feels the compulsion to buy a gun as a “disorder”.

These psycho freaks are nuttier than anyone in the real world.

I have no idea how much money he’s spent on psycho analysis. A small fortune possibly. He is trapping desperate men. Giving them an out so they don’t have to look deep at the world or about themselves. “There’s dangerous women out there. Oh my god, you have to be really careful.”

It’s disgusting.

 

[Spaz]

There’s now a “disorder” for people who rebel against government authority and peace keepers. No matter how much they infringe on human rights and dignity.

There’s one in the mix right now to label anyone who feels the compulsion to buy a gun as a “disorder”.

These psycho freaks are nuttier than anyone in the real world.

I have no idea how much money he’s spent on psycho analysis. A small fortune possibly. He is trapping desperate men. Giving them an out so they don’t have to look deep at the world or about themselves. “There’s dangerous women out there. Oh my god, you have to be really careful.”

It’s disgusting.

Maybe he's just lonely, you know with being bullied continously for more then 10 years will take a toll on any man.

I wonder what special skill set he uses to make women bully him so often.

Other men could then learn from his vast experience and superior skills.

 

[Kaido]

hey everyone
Small update and a cry for help I think.

No contact with her since last time I saw her. No midnight visits, nothing. Just silence.

On those weeks a lot of good stuff happened.
I got a contract for my sport that solves my financial worries for life and I am spinning one more good plate.
But the problem is I can't stop ****ing thinking about her.
I catch myself checking her messenger activity all the time, even when I am with other girls or while training.
Its like I want her to send me something.
I keep seeing her almost every night in my dreams.
I understand logically that she is not worth a dime, but there is something else in me that still hopes she will change and everything will be great.
It is like I want nothing to do with her, but another part of me secretly loves her.
I feel like I am going psycho.
I am reading all I can about ONEitis, psychology, etc in my free time but I can't seem to find a pattern to use in my mind and let everything go.
I don't know what kind of witchcraft did she use, but she occupies most of the space in my mind.
I fight for a living and had never left any man get an inch in my mind or beat me, yet I get beaten everyday by a crazy woman living inside my head.

If someone has something helpful to say please do so, I don't know what to do...

 

[GioWolf]

Cluster B’s mirror you. You’re not in love with her, you are in love with a reflection of yourself played by her. They have no personality, they mirror yours and use it to manipulate you. I’ve been through this and it only gets better after time and dating more women. It could be worse, there are men that marry/have children with these crazies and loose everything. Be thankful you got away easy.

 

[Polysix]

hey everyone
Small update and a cry for help I think.

No contact with her since last time I saw her. No midnight visits, nothing. Just silence.

On those weeks a lot of good stuff happened.
I got a contract for my sport that solves my financial worries for life and I am spinning one more good plate.
But the problem is I can't stop ****ing thinking about her.
I catch myself checking her messenger activity all the time, even when I am with other girls or while training.
Its like I want her to send me something.
I keep seeing her almost every night in my dreams.
I understand logically that she is not worth a dime, but there is something else in me that still hopes she will change and everything will be great.
It is like I want nothing to do with her, but another part of me secretly loves her.
I feel like I am going psycho.
I am reading all I can about ONEitis, psychology, etc in my free time but I can't seem to find a pattern to use in my mind and let everything go.

If someone has something helpful to say please do so, I don't know what to do...

Sounds like you got some ptsd from her,
get some therapy sessions if possible to speed things up in your recovery.
Realize that she Gas-Lighted you, it will take a while to heal from that.
Learn to detach from her p<->ssy and all other things, you now think you need from her,
because you don´t need anything from her!
If you can't stop the obsessive thoughts about her at all by now, which is understandable, set a time window per day maybe 20 minutes, then reduce, with the same discipline you achieve your goals in your sports.

I understand logically that she is not worth a dime, but there is something else in me that still hopes she will change and everything will be great.

Nope, it will only get worse!

I am reading all I can about ONEitis, psychology, etc in my free time but I can't seem to find a pattern to use in my mind and let everything go.

Accept it's a riddle, that you will never solve because first you ain`t crazy, but she is.
Second: As a man you´ve got another hard- and software.
Don´t get in the wrong universe as Epic Days already stated somewhere in this thread.
Trust me, it will get better but only if you stay NC with your 'heroin'!

 

[Billtx49]

hey everyone
Small update and a cry for help I think.

No contact with her since last time I saw her. No midnight visits, nothing. Just silence.

On those weeks a lot of good stuff happened.
I got a contract for my sport that solves my financial worries for life and I am spinning one more good plate.
But the problem is I can't stop ****ing thinking about her.
I catch myself checking her messenger activity all the time, even when I am with other girls or while training.
Its like I want her to send me something.
I keep seeing her almost every night in my dreams.
I understand logically that she is not worth a dime, but there is something else in me that still hopes she will change and everything will be great.
It is like I want nothing to do with her, but another part of me secretly loves her.
I feel like I am going psycho.
I am reading all I can about ONEitis, psychology, etc in my free time but I can't seem to find a pattern to use in my mind and let everything go.
I don't know what kind of witchcraft did she use, but she occupies most of the space in my mind.
I fight for a living and had never left any man get an inch in my mind or beat me, yet I get beaten everyday by a crazy woman living inside my head.

If someone has something helpful to say please do so, I don't know what to do...

Professionals say the release of dopamine due to sex is very similar to a cocaine experience. If she physically love bombed you like most bpd’s do, i.e. all the sex you want anytime and anyplace you want it, you are only feeling more extreme withdrawal symptoms than with a normal woman break. The cure, more sex from other women that are psychologically normal…

 

[Kaido]

Guys, words can't describe how thankful I am for your help.
@Polysix that's what I thought also, I have symptoms of PTSD and maybe something like Stockholm Syndrome.
Also that was a cool, eye opening video.

@billtx49 so more sex. I ll do my best to binge that.

@LARaiders85
Could you please explain in which way I am easier to manipulate?

 

[Kaido]

I found out this in another thread and it is extremely helpful in understanding the whole situation, so I ll put the link here for everyone else struggling with a similar situation.

Articles and Forums on BPD, Family Matters, and Special Interest Topics

Articles and Forums on BPD, Family Matters, and Special Interest Topics. Insights into codependancy, BPD, and other emotional issues.

sharischreiber.com

Everything he is writing in the BPD section is spot on for me.
I hope it ll also help everyone else.

 

[Billtx49]

Via love bombing - she is telling you something congruent with your high opinion of yourself.

Via push/pull - she is going to the opposite extreme and causing doubt and standing out from the pack of orbiters you have.

Either way, the highs and lows you experience will be more extreme than the typical guy that doesn't have so much going for him.

How true. To put it in simpler terms a successful and centered man grades himself on social/sexual self worth as 100% quality. She comes along and mirrors his 100%, possibly even taking it to 120 or higher via her love bombing. It’s an immediate ego boost like a rock star gets.
From there her on/off, push/pull, or possibly even triangulation or cheating gradually takes that down to 50% self worth feeling or lower.…
It’s why ejection from this type female is always better when it’s done sooner. Personal damage limitation…

 

[Kaido]

Via push/pull - she is going to the opposite extreme and causing doubt and standing out from the pack of orbiters you have.

It's like she run game on me

Thanks again guys.
This makes sense in a way and helps me understand the situation more.

If only I found out about The Rational Male and this site earlier...