Is there any De-Alpha book?

[Pajeet Singh]

I am so done. 10 years of reading PUA material, “how to be alpha”, “how to attract girls”, “how to self improve”, have taken toll on me now. This is not for everyone. Most of us started when we wanted one single permanent partner. When we failed we started this PUA journey. Most other starts when they are cheated on. I started because I was cheated on by my first partner. Ever since I have “attracted” successfully a lot of girls. But that defensive instinct to not get cheated again made all relationships short term, selfish, based on distrust rather than on trust. And most importantly I attracted only those who were broken themselves or I broke them. I want to be humble again and not ****y. I want to have little and feel good. I want to have peace. This is broken land. My friend has a love. They paired very early and non of them were broken at that time and they have maintained their relationship for the longest I know. No one reads the other when he or she is talking to someone else. None of them doubt each other.
No offence to this place. This place really gives you skills to win and influence people. I have no doubt on if they work or not. They work.
If any senior member feel me please give some source on “bonding”, “trusting” and to not be ****ing “Alpha”.

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Okay no offense guy but I don't believe you were ever an Alpha reading your post. It sounds like you took the red pill and maybe the reality is hard to swallow and you want to go back into the Matrix aka the blue pill world. Then you mentioned your friend who found love. Okay do you know that he is happy 24/7 of the day? I don't want to do a pyschoanalysis but you do realize the stuff you have read all the red pill content you have you can't undo this?! LOL That's the funny thing right now. You know what you know and for some reason you got frustrated at something that has happened and you think you can push everything aside and have whatever relationship your friend is having although you're not around your friend all the time so how do you know he is completely happy. However if you thought you were an alpha male trust me all what you typed is not alpha behaviour at all. Go back surpress what you learned but you will get burned and you will be sorry. Trust me.

 

[Pajeet Singh]

Okay no offense guy but I don't believe you were ever an Alpha reading your post. It sounds like you took the red pill and maybe the reality is hard to swallow and you want to go back into the Matrix aka the blue pill world. Then you mentioned your friend who found love. Okay do you know that he is happy 24/7 of the day? I don't want to do a pyschoanalysis but you do realize the stuff you have read all the red pill content you have you can't undo this?! LOL That's the funny thing right now. You know what you know and for some reason you got frustrated at something that has happened and you think you can push everything aside and have whatever relationship your friend is having although you're not around your friend all the time so how do you know he is completely happy. However if you thought you were an alpha male trust me all what you typed is not alpha behaviour at all. Go back surpress what you learned but you will get burned and you will be sorry. Trust me.

What is the escape? I certainly can’t unlearn. But I want to behave like bluepill so that people around me specially girls take me as normal person. I have forgotten or never knew how to act normal.

 

[Medina]

There ain't no going back my friend. War is hell, ain't it?

 

[kbbroiler1971]

What is the escape? I certainly can’t unlearn. But I want to behave like bluepill so that people around me specially girls take me as normal person. I have forgotten or never knew how to act normal.

okay friend as the other two poster said after me. There is no going back. What you are trying to do is compartmentalize what you do know and then brush it off as you don’t and continue on what you think is normal or what they think is normal. it doesn’t work that and try to do that you will feel worse.

 

[Pajeet Singh]

Best way is to get a Spotify account and fill your play lists with love songs. Spend your weekends watching romantic comedies, and practice writing love letters to single moms on online dating sites. It’s not that hard. Most guys do that I’m their sleep.

Wow. I can not do any of these. I am going to read Walden and live like a Hermit.

 

[Pajeet Singh]

This is fear typical of this place and it's normal. Fear of making yourself vulnerable. It's not tenable if you want anything more than fukk buddies. But look at it this way: You have a lot more knowledge than you did way back when. So even if you do get hurt, you know better how to deal with it. I think this is a huge hole in Sosuave teachings. Even if you get Oneitis again, so what? As long as you recognize it and deal with it and even enjoy it. The problem with how you were vs. how you are is you previously lacked the technology to deal effectively with the sad/bad stuff. So why go back when you can continue moving forward. Think about it...

But its very dark ahead. I am turning into inhuman being. It seems like I will harm others and justify them with what I had been through. But I wouldn’t know If I am justifying it or enjoying it. I broke this other girls heart in high school. She went total nuts and ate rat poison. She left the school finally and I was not moved.

 

[Alvafe]

But its very dark ahead. I am turning into inhuman being. It seems like I will harm others and justify them with what I had been through. But I wouldn’t know If I am justifying it or enjoying it. I broke this other girls heart in high school. She went total nuts and ate rat poison. She left the school finally and I was not moved.

that is not being alpha or red pill, also you can't control other people action, plus you are not alpha so it don't matter, if you was you wouldn't ask this, you belive you are, with is worse, but its not. a alpha knows what he should do, what you are descrybing is more like a psychopath

also if you want to live in bliss you need to be ignorant, as long you know things you can't ignore it anymore

 

[OldSlowPoke]

You aren't over her yet. Ask yourself why? Do you still want her back? If you still are thinking about that girl that much, isit because these other girls haven't given you anything that was better?

Best way is to get a Spotify account and fill your play lists with love songs. Spend your weekends watching romantic comedies, and practice writing love letters to single moms on online dating sites. It’s not that hard. Most guys do that I’m their sleep.

Do love songs really do that? I listen to them all the time, I noticed that a lot of guys that are successful listen to harder stuff. I don't really like it though.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You aren't over her yet. Ask yourself why? Do you still want her back? If you still are thinking about that girl that much, isit because these other girls haven't given you anything that was better?

Do love songs really do that? I listen to them all the time, I noticed that a lot of guys that are successful listen to harder stuff. I don't really like it though.

H0s REALLY like being h0s

 

[Pajeet Singh]

You aren't over her yet. Ask yourself why? Do you still want her back? If you still are thinking about that girl that much, isit because these other girls haven't given you anything that was better?

My other option is to stay alone. Have been living alone before for 5 years until she came. My alone means no one to talk to about how I feel.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Not necessary. A lady can reformat you as not an Alpha. Simp up to a girl for 3 months amd let her cuck you. You can find plenty of babes on Instagram to do the work.

 

[MrAddiction]

Do love songs really do that? I listen to them all the time, I noticed that a lot of guys that are successful listen to harder stuff. I don't really like it though.

I hoped that original comment to listen to lovesongs was meant sarcastically.
Cause I think that no redpilled guy will be able to listen to lovesongs and not wanting to vomit or having a big love.
The Redpill is even so deep in the subconsciousness that even songs I liked to listen to before and that have a very good sound I can’t listen to any more cause of the lyrics.
Want an example: Walk the line -Johnny cash
Because your mine I walk the line....

 

[Kotaix]

You are a slave of your own mind my friend. You think compulsively about this sh!t and it eats at you, I know because I've been there. You're not anywhere near done with your redpill journey and there is no going back, but there is peace at the end.

There are no shortcuts in the journey, you have to find the answer for yourself because the answer is different for everyone. But the advice I can give you is to control what you have control over, and don't worry about what you can't control. What you can't control is the spice of life.

I suggest you study some stoic philosophy or read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

Stop trying to do everything perfectly or think about every outcome and just enjoy life. Happiness is a choice, it's not something dictated to you by the outside world.

 

[andreihaha]

Best way is to get a Spotify account and fill your play lists with love songs. Spend your weekends watching romantic comedies, and practice writing love letters to single moms on online dating sites. It’s not that hard. Most guys do that I’m their sleep.

Hey, what's wrong with writing love letters to single moms on OLD? I know someone on this forum doing it and he's as alpha as possible:

Pajeet my man, there is only one antidote to being alpha: Saying AlphaQ to random people on the street. Seriously, give it a try.

Also, what's wrong with romantic comedies? I actually saw a few that are actually funny. And my balls are still there after watching them.

 

[Blacksheep]

It's quite simple to understand that:

Here in this part you've said has the key about everything you said: "I started because I was cheated on by my first partner. Ever since I have “attracted” successfully a lot of girls."

You got into PUA and single life because of the pain of being rejected... The way you get into the PUA game was not only about the pleasure. The root emotion was that pain about being cheated... So unconsciously you kind of have tried to validate your masculinity hooking up with the high amount of woman you can. Your short term relationships and broken hearts you did may be something about: "Oh, I was cheated before... So let me be the one to cheat or to hurt someone feelings and break up, since this is definitely going to happen again. Then, doing that I don't have to worry about being rejected, cause I was the one that rejected her. I'm in some way in the control of the situation"

So being single or in LTR: the reason most of relationships doesn't work it's because we're broken inside (fears, traumas) and those traumas create some unconsciously behaviors... and those behaviors can hurt someone that trigger traumas and fears on that person, spreading it like a disease.

Women and men do all the kind of mistakes in relationships because they don't understand that and they did not solve their internal conflicts in the right way. When fear is dead, you don't have those worries anymore.

And, that may not be your case... But my life went somewhere similar than you. But maybe I had more intense and crazy experiences in my life... and it lead me where I'm today.

I was fat, then become fit and good looking at 17... The girls basically chased me in that period. Also I had a lot of relationships cause I felt in love really quick (since I was rejected until that age)... So the same time I have the hottest woman in my hand I lost a lot of stuffs dating some crazy chicks. Then I got into a 3 year relationship... I was so stupid, I left everything behind so in the end we broke up, I become the demon and she started to date some rich guys. Then I had depression, become fat and all the girls stopped chasing me, I was getting only the 5 to less (this repeated as I lost weight, then gained weight...). But in that time I met a girl... she is simple, she showed some genuine desire, she was completely different by all the patterns I was used to identify. So I'm risking it at that moment. On the worst period of my life she was there, and I think that may be something good. She helps me and I help her... It may not be forever, but the experience is worthing the prize until now (I'm 29yrs btw). I'm not up the idea of this being forever, I've learned that focusing on what I'm learning is more important then being affraid of what can happen. If something happen, just learn, recover and move on.

So after all that... What I suggest: Start learning from your experiences, enjoy it. The bad and the good ones... they will make you grow up. It's for a lifetime, you will always grow up. Some truths will hurt you so much, you will fall down sometimes, but if you're not dead, you can get up and you can evolve yourself with what you've been through. Without pain, you can grow... your mother felt a lot of pain during childbirth. Life is about that, pleasure and pain, happy and unhappy. If you decide to life on Ignorance, it's up to you... But you will be doing the same thing most of people try to do (run away from their own pain) and this will kill half of the learnings Life is giving to you.

I will never forget what @Spaz said to me here in this forum: that we should learn by our experiences. That made so much sense when I understand what it means. I was relying my pains and doubts on books and other opinions, and I wasn't get nowhere. Now I can see the light on the tunnel... and it's becoming brighter as I face my good/bad experiences and go deep into my conscious.

Also this image for you, this is the biggest truth said on Star wars:



DON'T GO BACK MAN, GO FOWARD.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Survival of the fittest out there, you either adapt and survive or you end up an incel NEET playing video games all day

 

[cns]

I know what you mean. From being a nice guy to bad boy, player is definitely not the solution. I have also read lots of PUA crap. IMO there is lot of misinformation and wrong perception about alpha, that PUA, red pill BS. Personally this is what I do, work on yourself, career, look after yourself. Listen to instrumental music and some love songs, meditate, be little religious. Being religious will open your eyes. Sooner or later things will work out and start feeling better. Probably having a wife and family is what you really need.

 

[Glassguy]

Nothing is perfect. There will always be problems. Even men who cling to these red pill rules will come in here and gripe about their experiences.

What’s most important is knowing how to properly deal with, overcome and move on when things don’t work out, especially when you’re hurting and your logic is comprised so much that you make dumb decisions that always lead to more pain.

I’m not the mushy romantic type at all. Women often complain about that. But I’m also not afraid to be a little vulnerable too, and I’m not afraid because I know how to and I’m prepaired to deal with it properly when/if the time comes.

Good explanation and spot on.

@Pajeet Singh

I am not a fan of PUA tactics and I dont feel this forum is a PUA site. We all have different views, goals, end game, etc when it comes to dating. We also have our own niche on how we do well with women and all interactions with human beings (business, relationships, etc).

While I think that it is extremely important to have red pill tendencies but you should also not live on the edge of either side of the spectrum.

If you follow a red pill mentality and really focus on the following things, this is a pretty easy game:

1.) Put yourself first. Do things that make YOU happy. Dont be a doormat but also dont be afraid to put yourself in a position if a good opportunity comes along (with women or life in general). You do have to take some risk in life to get rewarded. Make sure they are educated risks.

2.) Always be committed to improving yourself. This is a never ending journey. Its a marathon and not a sprint. Health, career, mentality, psychologically, financial......You should be searching constantly for ways to self improve.

The main reason why men fail with women (IMO) is they put finding a woman or women FIRST on their priority list. That is their downfall. They act like finding a woman is a life or death situation because they FEAR being alone (as you stated in your post above).

Guess what? Your problem isnt finding women. Your problem isnt that the information you have learned on here isnt working.

Your problem is you havent found out how to make yourself happy and that is nobody's job but your own. Until you do that, it will not matter what you do as you will always be relying on other people or something else to entertain you and provide your happiness.

When your goal is to find a woman, you will be sorely let down in life. You will be depressed and alone.

Instead make YOUR life better by working on yourself. The happier you are, the better life you build and the path that takes you there IS attractive to women.

Remember that attracting more women and better quality women is a result of the work that you put into yourself. Its a byproduct but by no means should finding a woman EVER be the #1 goal.

And its not just women. Human beings by nature let other humans down. You need to improve yourself, rely on yourself to make your own happiness and find your purpose.

 

[logicallefty]

OP I had your exact thoughts not all that long ago. I've never considered myself an alpha male per se but if it were a sliding scale from alpha to beta I would put myself more towards the alpha side but not all the way. But yeah I sat back and reflected on myself and ompared myself to all of those "happily married" couples I know thinking "wow, why can't I have that?". Has the red pill ruined me forever? This was a few years ago I did this reflection. Here is an update from some couples from then to today:

• My step brothers wife just cheated on him, divorcing soon.
• Another one of my female cousins cheated on her hubby of 20 years and is leaving him.
• My other friend caught his wife nearly cheating in some texts.
• My other friend is miserable because he has a wife who wont work or do anything and is a compulsive hoarder and spends every dime he makes before it his the bank.
• My friend in Texas cheated on his wife cuz shes stopped having sex but can't leave her cuz she don't work and will clean him up
• My sister cheated on her husband and he took her back, but I know by brother in law isn't happy
• My other coworker got married and just from the way he talks, I can tell she wears the pants in the house 500%, and he's what most folks would call "alpha" by looks. Big buff guy. Could get any woman he wanted. And I mean any..
• Another coworker (police officer) had a girlfriend who accused him of some stuff and he lost his badge for a few weeks until it all got sorted out. Luckily it did in his favor.
• Oh wait, my friend in Tennessee is still happily married. No issues that *I* know of. Found one!!

So be careful thinking the grass is greener. You may think its green inside there, but when the doors close the grass inside can be rotting and dieing and you don't even know it.