GF has done several married man

[rart]

This is about a woman i dated for about 1.5 years. Turned out she f$cked married man in the past. I found out about two occasions, there may be more. The minute I found out, I new I had to drop her, gradually I demoted her to a plate, and eventually had to drop her completely.

Now, at the time I found these things out, I told her what the F did you do married men for? She said that she didn't know that they were married and she found out later on about it. May be it is true, but still this single fact immediately disqualified her as an LTR material for me.

What do you guys think, maybe I was too hard on her? She was hurt by the fact that I was not OK with all of this. But yet she didn't try to hide it either.

 

[Billtx49]

I have seen some women do married men after knowing that fact. Her excuse that she didn’t know is likely a blame shifting attempt.
Bottom line, she doesn’t respect others commitments, so don’t expect one from her, it will only be a sham to get what she wants…

 

[John9999]

Oh hell no. You did the right thing. The issue is that in her mind having sex with a married guy is acceptable. So that means she would think nothing of cheating on you. You made the right decision.

 

[flowtheory]

I don't know if her being with a married man and potentially cheating on you are correlated in the least. Chances are high the man didn't tell her she was married until after the fact. It's quite risky for a man to divulge this information from the start, or even prior to the sex. But the fact is we will never know what the real story is.

The thing here is that you don't agree with her past actions, and so much so, it made you sever the relationship with her and disqualify her potential as a long term partner.
But her past aside - because it has nothing to do with you - how did she treat you within the relationship? Was this information merely the straw which broke the camels back? Because 1.5 years together is quite the investment and would denote that she had many redeeming and valuable qualities which you saw fit for a potential life partner.

Also to add: She told you the cold hard truth. You didn't accept that. Most people - not just women - wouldn't own the truth like that. And being truthful is probably one of the most respectable things within a relationship; no matter what the topic is.

Say you slept with two women when you were single, before your now ex. You meet your ex and you find out both women were partnered or married to other men when they had sex with you. Do you think that this should immediately disqualify you as a long-term investment, because you had the wool pulled over your eyes when you were simply just wanting to have some no strings attached fun?

 

[corrector]

A bad past changes everything. 1.5 years means you getting too close to her where such details matter more. You would not care if you just started dating after a 5 year dry spell but this not that scenario. Dont worry about the 1.5 years. Worry about the rest of your life. It is not an investment its your life and if you cant feel comfortable with her then the trust is gone already. She is a stranger to you all this time.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That has to be one of the biggest red flags possible. 90% chance she knew, 10% chance she was fvcking around so casually she didn't bother to know.

THey like receiving the benefits without having to worry about or take care of the guy. They also like WINNING the attention from the wife, beating her out. They feel it gives them power.

 

[Epic Days]

You forget that women have no mores when it comes to sexuality. Only men are held to rigid sexual morals.

Especially a cucked man.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You forget that women have no mores when it comes to sexuality. Only men are held to rigid sexual morals.

Especially a cucked man.

What "rights" do a cucked man have?

 

[rart]

Yeah she didn't know. But it happened not once. There were other issues as well. So I had to move on

 

[rart]

Btw she stayed in touch with both dudes. That's how I found out.

 

[flowtheory]

Btw she stayed in touch with both dudes. That's how I found out.

Oh. This literally changes everything

 

[Medina]

Married men are attractive because it means other women approve of them

Women don't have the same moral structure as men because their feelings overrule, landing them in sticky situations which of course is never their fault

Women = Nature
Men= Order

 

[John9999]

Btw she stayed in touch with both dudes. That's how I found out.

Oh hell. No no no no. Wtf did she need to stay in touch with them? Cause she was still into them. You dogged a train wreck for sure.

 

[Glassguy]

If this woman doesnt respect other people's committed marriage boundaries, she would never respect yours if you married her.

Fvck her and bounce.

 

[Dynamited]

Reminds me of this relationship i once had. she got involved with someone who was in a committed relationship in the past. As much as i liked her, I found it hard to see her as a LTR.

I couldn't respect someone who doesn't respect the boundaries of a committed relationship

 

[EyeBRollin]

I think where you fvcked up is why you even knew this about her in the first place. How did this topic even come up?

 

[rart]

I think where you fvcked up is why you even knew this about her in the first place. How did this topic even come up?

How this came up? She was in touch with a lot of dudes from her past. One in particular was kinda extra "friendly". So I asked her directly what the F$%ck. And she just volunteered this information. Said they were close, but he turned out to be married. I believed her she didn't know, but the dude was a coworker. She didn't do her due diligence.

Then later on another case came up. I said to myself f$5ck this i need to move on. Sex was great so I just started to date another woman. She started chasing me like mad. But then she dropped by my place when I was with another woman and it was a **** show.

 

[EyeBRollin]

How this came up? She was in touch with a lot of dudes from her past. One in particular was kinda extra "friendly". So I asked her directly what the F$%ck. And she just volunteered this information. Said they were close, but he turned out to be married. I believed her she didn't know, but the dude was a coworker. She didn't do her due diligence.

If she is the girlfriend, as cola elaborated in the other thread, this is handled at the beginning of the exclusive relationship. Talking to other men is unacceptable.

If she is just a plate, you have no claim and she can do as she please. There is no reason for the subject of other men to ever come up.

 

[rart]

If she is the girlfriend, as cola elaborated in the other thread, this is handled at the beginning of the exclusive relationship. Talking to other men is unacceptable.

If she is just a plate, you have no claim and she can do as she please. There is no reason for the subject of other men to ever come up.

How do you handle this in the beginning of the relationship? "Sooo, have you f%&cked any married men before me?"

It came up in the course of the relationship.

 

[EyeBRollin]

How do you handle this in the beginning of the relationship? "Sooo, have you f%&cked any married men before me?"

It came up in the course of the relationship.

Dude, this is not an appropriate conversation you’re having. It doesn’t “just come up” unless you ask. Stop asking questions you don’t want to know the answer to. That’s insane.

Before exclusivity, simply make it clear that friendships with other men are inappropriate. Look at her social media and have her block the dudes. If she doesn’t agree, just keep declining exclusivity until she submits.