FWB vs Relationship

[NotaRobot]

So how do I salvage this? Last messages we had was when I dropped her key off to her letter box and texted that I’d left it there. She responded by saying “are you mad at me?” I waited most of the day and said “no”. She replied back “ok”. That was yesterday. Nothing today

I don’t know if her friends told her to hold back. They made her realize what she was doing and she made sure I understood where I stood. Ie : no relationship

 

[NotaRobot]

Effectively I doubled down the other night and said I don’t know if I can be just friends with me and that’s it. The very next day I caved and said it might be possible, just might take me a bit of time to adjust.

 

[17 shots]

So how do I salvage this? Last messages we had was when I dropped her key off to her letter box and texted that I’d left it there. She responded by saying “are you mad at me?” I waited most of the day and said “no”. She replied back “ok”. That was yesterday. Nothing today

I don’t know if her friends told her to hold back. They made her realize what she was doing and she made sure I understood where I stood. Ie : no relationship

Wait about a week and then start hitting her up like nothing happened. If she brings it up, tell her you thought about it and you're fine with being friends. If she reaches out first, same thing, act like nothing happened

 

[NotaRobot]

Ok so just leave things be for at least this weekend?

 

[17 shots]

Ok so just leave things be for at least this weekend?

Yes, but you do also need to talk to other women like LA is saying. Treat this one like a science project. You're working on it, but the teacher hasn't set a due date yet

 

[NotaRobot]

LA Raiders and 17 Shots by George I think you’re right. So all I have to do now is resist the urge to text her...

 

[NotaRobot]

I must admit we have a better time and better sex without the pressure of being in a relationship.

so should I definitely wait until next week? I feel time is slipping away (even thoughit hasn’t been long). I tell you what though the fact I haven’t slept properly for days is killing me.

 

[17 shots]

I must admit we have a better time and better sex without the pressure of being in a relationship.

so should I definitely wait until next week? I feel time is slipping away (even thoughit hasn’t been long). I tell you what though the fact I haven’t slept properly for days is killing me.

Part of why I said wait a week, is so that you can reset and learn how to cope with alone time. You see how you're already asking if you should really wait? You need to get used to going about your life without constantly thinking of her. She's an option, not your girlfriend

 

[NotaRobot]

You guys have been the best help I’ve had. Can you keep beating me about the head so I don’t cave please!

 

[17 shots]

You guys have been the best help I’ve had. Can you keep beating me about the head so I don’t cave please!

Just remember, she wants to be friends, so treat her like a friend. Would you feel like time was slipping away with a friend or fwb? Would you go crazy waiting a week to hit up a friend? No

 

[BadBoy89]

Just keep sleeping with her until it’s not fun anymore. The man’s job is sex and babies, the woman’s job is the relationship.

Hard to believe some of you are guys are in your mid 40s, have kids, and some 32 year old women, who is not a virgin 12 times over, is making your head spin.

These women don’t mean anything. Disney and romance movies has made men into fools.

Wake up men.

 

[Prettyboy Dee]

Too much thinking OP, your going to drive yourself crazy, relax, overthinking and over-analyzing is never a good thing.

Women act and think emotionally, men act and think logically, so what's the logical way to handle this situation?

Move on, if you can handle fvcking her without getting all emotional which we all know is not the case, then go for it, meanwhile, date other women.

Also, as much as this hurts, you have to not care about her and other men, remember shes not your gf so it's none of your business who's shes fvcking ect my question to you is why aren't you doing the same?

You dont need advice, you just need to move on, sure it sucks but hey, your 45 right? I'm sure you been through much worse so your gonna have to suck it up.

And please OP, dont do the passive aggressive bullsh!t and all that stupid no contact and waiting for a certain amount of days before responding to her ect, sh!ts corny......

Forget about her for now and If shes really into you then she will come to you, if not then oh well, sh!t happens.

And hey, if you insist on her being your girl then be a man and take the lead and make it happen, who cares how it looks, real men dont worry about sh!t like that, real men dont use game or sit and hope for the woman to come to them, they just do whatever the hell they want.......dont do what we tell you to do, your 45 and not getting any younger, your a grown man, do what you want.

I wouldnt do it but it's a another option for you, I know guys who can pull it off because there ultra confident and dont give 2 sh!ts

 

[NotaRobot]

So many different opinions. Yes I’m 45 but I’m still learning. I like her. Somehow we keep gravitating together. I can’t help that. I will try and start meeting other women though. I’ve given up the prospect of being In A relationship again with this woman. What will be will be. I was torn between cutting her off completely, however ultimately why give up on such a good friend too?

how am I being passive aggressive with no contact?

we agreed we’d tell each other if we were going to sleep with someone else/had slept with someone else out of courtesy. We’ve always had that agreement. I naturally like to make sure i renew that understanding...

I have my son with me this weekend and she’s busy doing things (she made sure to let me know this of course). she works close by so I’ll hit her up for a coffee sometime next week. If she doesn’t then...

 

[synecdoche]

You are way too deep into this OP, you have feelings for her. With every move you make you're hoping to get a reaction out of her. Be honest with yourself, you can't just go back and be FWB it will make you feel even more miserable.

End it, don't contact her ever again and meet new women. That's the only cure.

 

[dude99]

Effectively I doubled down the other night and said I don’t know if I can be just friends with me and that’s it. The very next day I caved and said it might be possible, just might take me a bit of time to adjust.

Just go date other women. Fack her when she reaches out. If she doesn't, move on.

 

[Spaz]

You ain't no Prize for her.

She's a Prize for you.

That's the frame you are in now and that's what u r projecting to her ===> FAILURE.

No woman worth her salt will ever be attracted to that frame in the long run.

You can be handsome, sexy, rich..etc..etc but when you project that frame, you're done for - over time it's inevitable.

This is where many men here don't get it, they thought love conquers everything.

But for women, love = admiration + respect

It's not the same as a man's love.

 

[NotaRobot]

Thanks guys. I really do appreciate your input. I’ll admit I can be as fickle as anyone. This severe lack of sleep on my part has got me looking at dating profiles which has helped take my mind off thoughts of her - as bad as that sounds. I’m realistic about unplugging and seeing other women. And if this girl wants to reconsider I can reconsider too. I m still overthinking when and how I get back in touch with her. Why does it feel waiting until next week is just too late? It’s not I know but some kind of chemical craziness is messing with my emotions. At least I have my son with me this weekend so we can have some quality time together and I can focus (hopefully) on that.

I appreciate the (mostly) compassionate and well considered advice here. I feel so much better than this morning

 

[Epic Days]

The whole thing is her plate spinning game. LMAO
You are a pair of pants in the washing machine.
You are hampered by a relationship feminine mindset. You are on here talking about this woman.

You are not a cut above the others. You think way too much of her. You know she’s a ho, right?

 

[AttackFormation]

Become the carrot

Haha what a Zen-like saying.

 

[bcude]

Effectively I doubled down the other night and said I don’t know if I can be just friends with me and that’s it. The very next day I caved and said it might be possible, just might take me a bit of time to adjust.

This right here makes her lose all respect for you unfortunately. It's taken in a way that you go against your feelings and beliefs and agree with her terms just because you're thirsty and can't walk away, it shows lack of options. It shows lack of self respect. It's not the message itself, it's your change of stance.
I've heard this exact scenario from the horse's mouth, where she said: "where there was a chance before, he's now stuck in the friendzone forever."

Because everything starts with respect. From there her "love" and everything you're after can grow.