What's odd about it? I can't read every post...but I do apologize for causing you to repeat yourself.
Good, good, and good.
How so? Did he expect you to pay all the bills, and constantly ask you for money for food, clothes, dry cleaning, gasoline, auto repairs, traffic tickets, legal fees and fines for stupid things you repeatedly warned him against doing, etc, all while complaining about and neglecting basic parenting and simple household chores which even single people are expected to do? If so, welcome to marriage from a man's perspective.
Excellent!
Do YOU have any habits you'd prefer not to pass to your children?
Beautiful! So, he's a loving, involved father, and you and he get along. So, which of you filed for divorce, and why?
And well you should. However, attempting to over-segregate the men you date from your family takes YOUR time and attention away from your kids, while mommy tries to get her groove on....not to mention the time commuting between their parents' separate households, the parental communication gap created between divorced parents, and so on. You can't have dinner together as a family, because you can't have the men with whom you're having dinner around your children; so, no more family dinners. YOU are actually less involved in your kids' lives BECAUSE their father is no longer a part of the family household. And, (forgive me for stereotyping) you are playing tug-o-war with your children's emotions and futures, not purely out of interest of what's best for them, but out of a power struggle to be the more influential parent.
That's great. Pot sucks. But, when you mentioned the reasons not to uproot and relocate your kids, you didn't mention their father, and that such a move would, presumably, have an adverse impact on his involvement in their lives.
It's great that you don't want your kids to smoke pot. What parent does? But, what bad habit/s of YOURS, who undoubtedly considers herself the ONE indispensable part of her children's lives, would you prefer your children not adopt?
Was he smoking pot around the kids? Was he a bad coach? Did it affect his performance? Did he speak positively about drug use to the boys? Personally, I had a couple of school officials fired, for advocating for marijuana legalization to the students, but I couldn't have cared less what they did in their own homes, if they'd kept their mouths shut in front of my kids.
I'm pretty sure you'd think I'm "stodgy."
I'm sure you believe you communicate no negative sentiments about your ex to your children, but that's impossibly absurd. The fact that he is your ex, itself, communicates immeasurable negative feelings. Besides, divorced parents are always reassuring their children that the children aren't to blame. That doesn't leave a whole lot of alternative bad guys. And, the fact that your daughter is comfortable (encouraged) to express negative sentiments about her father, to you, and that you don't disagree (minimally...giving you the benefit of the doubt) says something. Do you think your children never have negative feelings about you? To whom do they express those feelings?
If the men with whom you have sex is all about your children, why aren't you still married to their father?