Messed up guys, definitely need some advice on recovery here...

Dropdagloves20

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Hey everyone, I am new to the boards, and I apologize if not in the right place, but I need insight and advice on recovering, or getting a girl re invested that just ended it... I tried using the search, however there was nothing with this situation... I'll try to be as brief as possible, but sorry for length in advance. I know I made a lot of mistakes towards the end here, so recovery may not be possible, but I'd really like to reel this one back in... Let me preface this with I don't want to marry this girl or anything, but I just want to get her back in my bed, and see where it leads. Sorry for the novel, just trying to give all details.

I'm in my mid 30's, and somewhat recently just got out of a long term relationship, hence being rusty at playing the game when it comes to texting women, dating, etc... Anyway, I work at an event venue where there are several different companies intertwined, and multiple operations going on. Once a week, when receiving deliveries, there is a female security guard in charge of the shipments that I see and associate with. She's extremely good looking, in her late 20's, and we've flirted every Friday that I've seen her since she started. Finally, after one Friday morning we spent flirting, I get a mysterious text from an unknown number and it turns out to be her... She had looked me up on whitepages.com and gotten my number, which was a little weird, but none the less, she told me she really liked me from the start and we started talking.

I started out really good at holding my cards to my chest, didn't let her know how much I liked her back, and we kept talking. I found out she is a mom, and that her kid comes first, so she warned me ahead of time, that there would be times where things come up and she might have to cancel dates, etc for her kid. She also randomly lives in the same neighborhood as mine. Anyway, about 2 days of minor talking, I asked her when I could see her, so we set a date for that night. Well long story short, she went MIA, text me at 5am the next day that her phone was lost and she found it in her driveway the next morning after looking for it all night. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and she said she would make it up to me and come over after work and hang out. She showed up, we talked for a little bit but she said she had a major headache. She said she didn't want to leave, we ended up making out for about half an hour, and then she said her headache was to much and had to go home. She then said she'd make it up the next day and come over and spend most of the night with me. Next day comes, we are texting and everythings normal. She's telling me how much she likes me and really happy she text me, etc., and counting down the hours till she gets to come see me. Long story short, right as she is supposed to come over she cancels because her sons dad got called into work and she had to go get him and no one else was available to babysit. I was cool with it, and woke up to a naked picture the next morning in what she says was an attempt to make up for not being able to hang out. I took that as my in to start talking sexual and got her to the point where she was telling me she wanted to have sex and give me head right after her shift. She came over and gave me head, but wouldn't let me do anything or have sex because she said she didn't anticipate it happening and didn't shave/clean up, but promised it would happen the next night.

The next day came and everything was great. We were sexting, and she was telling me how much she was all about me, and how she wanted to spend all her free time with me and wanted to come have sex and see me when she got off work.... Well anyway, time for her came to get off work and come see me, when she tells me her works making her stay late for a training, but it won't take long, so she was gonna hurry and then come over. 3 hours go by of her saying it's taking forever, etc. and finally I get impatient and tell her I'm probably just going to go get some stuff done I needed to. She said to go ahead and go and not to wait for her. Well, as I said earlier, we live in the same neighborhood, so I had to drive by, what I didn't know was her house at the time, until I saw her car sitting in the driveway. At this point I tried calling her to ask why if she was at work, her truck was in the driveway of her house. She didn't answer, so I text her and asked her if she drove her truck to work... she said yes, so I sent her a pic and asked her, well isn't this your truck in your driveway? She lost her **** and just replied with WTF, we are done! Then just continued with texts saying that she just got home, but wanted to surprise me so she ran home to change real quick and was going to come over and spend the night, but it doesn't matter because we are done and I have not trust, etc. I just said, "I don't like being lied to, and it sucks because I really liked you".

Anyway, the next day came and I had to see her at deliveries. I didn't know how to act, so I just didn't go near her or pay attention to her, however knowing we had to see eachother at work and not wanting it to be awkward, I text her if we could chat to clear the air when she gets off. She called me, and she explained that she really was just trying to surprise me, and I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she wasn't ready to let me go, and I messed up and basically told her how much I like her). After that point, we texted, but it was obvious that it was different. The next day, she wouldn't respond for a couple hours, and then finally just responded with "I don't think I want to do this, as I think you are looking for something more serious than I am". I responded with "I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but just wanted honesty and communication in whatever we were. Now I know. See you around, no worries."

This is where I am at... It's just weird because prior to the night I caught her car in her driveway, she was the only one talking about how much she liked me, and wanted to see where it goes etc. I do like her, and I did make the mistake of telling her that, however I am mainly just wanting to get her back to have fun with... i.e. sex, fooling around, etc. This is the direction we were headed until I apparently caught her in a lie, or as she puts it, as surprise. Anyway I can get this girl in my bed still only seeing her once a week and using text? Or am I sunk? Literally, just want to get her back to the point where all she talked about was sex and liking me. Literally went to I wanna bang your brains out all the time, to I don't want to do this because I think you want something more serious than I do in one week... I know the turning point was me catching her car in the driveway, but anyway to resolve? Thanks all!
 

Dropdagloves20

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So you caught her lying to you, and then she makes that out to be your fault. How dare you, man? You have totally ruined her trust in you believing her lies.
Lol, Bible_Belt, my thoughts exactly... but all I ever was in this for was to get her into bed, and in one week I was able to get her to blow me, admit to being addicted to me, sexting non stop, and I was playing it perfectly... until I caught her lying to me, calling her out on it resulting in her losing her ****... but I think where I messed up the most is by telling her that I did really like her(even though I was only in it to plow her, and see where it went). Hindsights always 20/20, but the end goal was just to get laid by this girl as much as possible, so maybe I shoulda just not cared and let her think I wasn't on to her... And then she's the one after this happened to say she wasn't ready to let me go, just to give me 2 hour text responses the next day and finally just say "I don't think I want to do this, youre looking for something more serious than I am"... I went from playing the game well for 5 days, to giving her the control in one day, to her ending it the next lol.

Here is where I need all of your help... I know most would just advise to move on, however I look at this as a challenge to get this girl re attracted and chasing me again. I don't want a relationship, and I know she's not exactly normal in the head, however I would like to try and get where I left off and just plow her for a few weeks. I only see her maybe once or twice a week for a couple of hours, and there are usually a ton of people as it is an event center we work at... Is it possible to get her re interested and to chase me again with the info I've told you? If not I get it, but if it is, would definitely like to see if I can get it done while working on my reattraction game... Any advice guys...?
 

MountainSlide

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Lol, Bible_Belt, my thoughts exactly... but all I ever was in this for was to get her into bed, and in one week I was able to get her to blow me, admit to being addicted to me, sexting non stop, and I was playing it perfectly... until I caught her lying to me, calling her out on it resulting in her losing her ****... but I think where I messed up the most is by telling her that I did really like her(even though I was only in it to plow her, and see where it went). Hindsights always 20/20, but the end goal was just to get laid by this girl as much as possible, so maybe I shoulda just not cared and let her think I wasn't on to her... And then she's the one after this happened to say she wasn't ready to let me go, just to give me 2 hour text responses the next day and finally just say "I don't think I want to do this, youre looking for something more serious than I am"... I went from playing the game well for 5 days, to giving her the control in one day, to her ending it the next lol.

Here is where I need all of your help... I know most would just advise to move on, however I look at this as a challenge to get this girl re attracted and chasing me again. I don't want a relationship, and I know she's not exactly normal in the head, however I would like to try and get where I left off and just plow her for a few weeks. I only see her maybe once or twice a week for a couple of hours, and there are usually a ton of people as it is an event center we work at... Is it possible to get her re interested and to chase me again with the info I've told you? If not I get it, but if it is, would definitely like to see if I can get it done while working on my reattraction game... Any advice guys...?
Re-attraction game is always the same. Quit contacting her. Make her initiate 100% of the time. When she gets in touch with you assume she wants to make plans and make a definitive date. When you post on social media make sure that the pictures have the appearance of good status and high smv. Do not contact her! Don’t respond right away if she texts you. You were making it sound like she’s a plate but you Pretty much wrote a book on the situation which is pretty much equal to emotionally investing. I think you need to go work on yourself and your mission because I think you acted weak, needy, and desperate. You should forget about her
 

Dropdagloves20

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Re-attraction game is always the same. Quit contacting her. Make her initiate 100% of the time. When she gets in touch with you assume she wants to make plans and make a definitive date. When you post on social media make sure that the pictures have the appearance of good status and high smv. Do not contact her! Don’t respond right away if she texts you. You were making it sound like she’s a plate but you Pretty much wrote a book on the situation which is pretty much equal to emotionally investing. I think you need to go work on yourself and your mission because I think you acted weak, needy, and desperate. You should forget about her
I'm not going to say I don't agree with you, as I've been out of the game for a long time with a long term girlfriend. This girl was really the first one I've tried for since, and she fell in my lap by looking up my number, and reaching out to me. With that being said, I did do a decent job, even though rusty keeping and increasing her interest... however calling her out on her bull**** when I caught her lying and getting emotionally invested and sounding needy at the end was my downfall, I know it was the last 48 hours that I ****ed up. I know I wrote a novel, just wanted an exact replay so anyone that could give me advice on reattraction in the exact situation, would be able to give it to me tailored. I see where I made my mistake and won't make it again, however I don't have the normal outlets, as like i said, unless it's text messaging(which I can't do, and by how it ended I doubt she will either), I literally have that one day a week that I see her.

I appreciate your reply MountainSlide, and I agree with it fully... I am going to work on myself and my game, and definitely learned here, however I was just reaching out to see if there's a chance of reattraction, and if there is, best first steps using the limited access I have to her to make her chase... Appreciate you!
 

cola

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She is in a relationship and you were her side d*ck. You messed up what could’ve been a beautiful situation of her coming over blowing you and going home to her cuck boyfriend by caring.
Next time don’t care so much, or at all.
 

Dropdagloves20

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She is in a relationship and you were her side d*ck. You messed up what could’ve been a beautiful situation of her coming over blowing you and going home to her cuck boyfriend by caring.
Next time don’t care so much, or at all.
This I understand now, just trying to see if I can salvage... Appreciate it.
 

MountainSlide

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This I understand now, just trying to see if I can salvage... Appreciate it.
I’ve salvaged relationships. I mean. I’ve salvaged them in terms of me still hitting it lol. First rule: quit being a little bytch. You know what I mean? You know that feeling in your stomach when your ego gets a smack because a chick rejected you? The same feeling that makes beta dudes chase after girls even though she dumped him and is probably with someone else? That feeling is a lie and must be fully rejected.

second: You can only salvage a relationship when you reach the point of no longer wanting it. This girls actions don’t meet her words. So why would she do that? She is trying to take something from you. It will cost you but benefit her.

I stand by my previous statement. Being a guy that f*cks his ex’s. And this girl ainte even your ex. You’re trying to get ego boost by winning and being a playa. You can’t. Because you’re frame ainte right. In order to win you have to not care. And in order to not care, you have to have you’re own exciting good life. She joins your life not the other way around.
 

MountainSlide

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By doing nothing - she may come back and it is salvaged.
I disagree with respect to doing nothing. You live in a world of almost limitless possibilities. All you have to do is get off your a$$ and go and take care of yourself. I’ve been hung up on girls in the past. But I will tell you this: the only way it can be salvaged is by you salvaging yourself. Because even if she comes back it’ll just be a repeat unless you can be a man. My opinion is that the only time a guy gets hung up on a girl is when he enters her frame. The opposite is true when a girl gets hung up on a guy.

go build your frame proper so you don’t have this problem in the future.
 

Dropdagloves20

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I disagree with respect to doing nothing. You live in a world of almost limitless possibilities. All you have to do is get off your a$$ and go and take care of yourself. I’ve been hung up on girls in the past. But I will tell you this: the only way it can be salvaged is by you salvaging yourself. Because even if she comes back it’ll just be a repeat unless you can be a man. My opinion is that the only time a guy gets hung up on a girl is when he enters her frame. The opposite is true when a girl gets hung up on a guy.

go build your frame proper so you don’t have this problem in the future.
Appreciate it bro... you're right, just lost sight of all this being in a relationship all these years, and then stepping back in... Think I got to comfortable with this one cause she fell right in my lap and I let my emotions get the best of me... I'll work on it all brotha, appreciate the bluntness and straightforwardness! Used to be pretty good at this ****, just gotta get it back. Thanks again all!
 

17 shots

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You were supposed to cuss her out and call her a b1tch about the car thing. You have to stand your ground with women when you know you are in the right. Yes, she would of been upset, but she would have respected you for putting her in her place for lying

You backed down and let her play victim. Now you're the nice guy who's easy to manipulate. It will be hard to change this impression. I think you should just learn from it and move on
 

backseatjuan

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but I'd really like to reel this one back in...
Every motherfcker that comes here wants a woman back and none actually accomplish it. Because if woman left you and you chase her, you become less hot, a lot less hot for a woman, and she gets even more disgusted. There simply is no possibility. Maybe, some years later, when you become don juan, your smv is crazy high, you fcking women left and right, and her fat ass now with several kids just comes roaming along your way, maybe then she'd want to chase your ass, but at that point you wouldn't want her.

You're here, welcome. Get started with dj bible.
 

MountainSlide

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Every motherfcker that comes here wants a woman back and none actually accomplish it. Because if woman left you and you chase her, you become less hot, a lot less hot for a woman, and she gets even more disgusted. There simply is no possibility. Maybe, some years later, when you become don juan, your smv is crazy high, you fcking women left and right, and her fat ass now with several kids just comes roaming along your way, maybe then she'd want to chase your ass, but at that point you wouldn't want her.

You're here, welcome. Get started with dj bible.
I’ve had experience when I chased girls after being dumped and it has a 100% fail rate. The fun part is when you see them down the road and are with a beauty. I’ve reverse dissed quite a few girls at this point although I’m older now and don’t really give a shyt about that type of pettiness anymore. The only solution to being dumped is never contacting her again. If you really want her back then you have to wait for her to get in touch then play the game proper. But at the end of the day, if you haven’t changed, the relationship will be the same, and will end again because she ainte going to change. So why would you even want to date someone that’s incompatible??? It’s all about ego. But it won’t work.
 

MountainSlide

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You were supposed to cuss her out and call her a b1tch about the car thing. You have to stand your ground with women when you know you are in the right. Yes, she would of been upset, but she would have respected you for putting her in her place for lying
You’re right about not backing down. But when bytches lie it takes a huge amount of effort to get them to admit. Waste of time. If it’s about anything serious or is causing you to feel confused about what’s going on. That’s an indicator to dump her. Thats the message to send that’ll cause her to really respect you.
 

Prettyboy Dee

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Shes attractive and is dating multiple guys which explains the inconsistencies and flakey behavior.

She obviously has game since she knows how to butter you up and make you feel good by telling you all those sweet things. She probably tells 3 other guys the same thing.

Also, you sending her a pick of her car to catch her in a lie was weird and probably freaked her out, shes not your gf so all that was unnecessary, me personally? I wouldn't have even said anything to her about it, just laughed about it with my friends lol. Your taking her too seriously(she said it herself)
You haven't even fvcked her yet, relax.

She doesnt owe you any loyalty and she doesnt have to explain herself to you, shes not your girl, that sh!t probably turned her off if anything.

I can just imagine how I would feel if some girl I was casually dating did something like that to me.

And who the hell makes out for 30mins? What are you in high school? If you make out that long at your house then that's suppose to end in a lay.

Sounds to me like your one of her many options and not the top one.

You still wanna fvck her, stop with the soft relationship sh!t, its corny big bro, get her to your house and go for the lay, none of that rapport building sh!t or that emotionally connecting sh!t, you mean business, she comes and you fvck or it's over, go talk to other girls.....

Good luck
 

17 shots

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You’re right about not backing down. But when bytches lie it takes a huge amount of effort to get them to admit. Waste of time. If it’s about anything serious or is causing you to feel confused about what’s going on. That’s an indicator to dump her. Thats the message to send that’ll cause her to really respect you.
Yea I didn't mean stand your ground to get her to admit she lied. I mean do it because it's justified. The girl sent OP a wall of text and said blah blah blah, we're done.
His response was "I don't like being lied to, and it sucks because I really liked you".

Here's me instead
Her - blah blah blah we're done
Me- whatever b1tch, you're full of sh1t
Her- huge text mad about being called a b1tch, or some other dumb female stuff
Me- no response

Idgaf about outcome after that, but you'd be surprised how many fall back into play later
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Hey everyone, I am new to the boards, and I apologize if not in the right place, but I need insight and advice on recovering, or getting a girl re invested that just ended it... I tried using the search, however there was nothing with this situation... I'll try to be as brief as possible, but sorry for length in advance. I know I made a lot of mistakes towards the end here, so recovery may not be possible, but I'd really like to reel this one back in... Let me preface this with I don't want to marry this girl or anything, but I just want to get her back in my bed, and see where it leads. Sorry for the novel, just trying to give all details.

I'm in my mid 30's, and somewhat recently just got out of a long term relationship, hence being rusty at playing the game when it comes to texting women, dating, etc... Anyway, I work at an event venue where there are several different companies intertwined, and multiple operations going on. Once a week, when receiving deliveries, there is a female security guard in charge of the shipments that I see and associate with. She's extremely good looking, in her late 20's, and we've flirted every Friday that I've seen her since she started. Finally, after one Friday morning we spent flirting, I get a mysterious text from an unknown number and it turns out to be her... She had looked me up on whitepages.com and gotten my number, which was a little weird, but none the less, she told me she really liked me from the start and we started talking.

I started out really good at holding my cards to my chest, didn't let her know how much I liked her back, and we kept talking. I found out she is a mom, and that her kid comes first, so she warned me ahead of time, that there would be times where things come up and she might have to cancel dates, etc for her kid. She also randomly lives in the same neighborhood as mine. Anyway, about 2 days of minor talking, I asked her when I could see her, so we set a date for that night. Well long story short, she went MIA, text me at 5am the next day that her phone was lost and she found it in her driveway the next morning after looking for it all night. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and she said she would make it up to me and come over after work and hang out. She showed up, we talked for a little bit but she said she had a major headache. She said she didn't want to leave, we ended up making out for about half an hour, and then she said her headache was to much and had to go home. She then said she'd make it up the next day and come over and spend most of the night with me. Next day comes, we are texting and everythings normal. She's telling me how much she likes me and really happy she text me, etc., and counting down the hours till she gets to come see me. Long story short, right as she is supposed to come over she cancels because her sons dad got called into work and she had to go get him and no one else was available to babysit. I was cool with it, and woke up to a naked picture the next morning in what she says was an attempt to make up for not being able to hang out. I took that as my in to start talking sexual and got her to the point where she was telling me she wanted to have sex and give me head right after her shift. She came over and gave me head, but wouldn't let me do anything or have sex because she said she didn't anticipate it happening and didn't shave/clean up, but promised it would happen the next night.

The next day came and everything was great. We were sexting, and she was telling me how much she was all about me, and how she wanted to spend all her free time with me and wanted to come have sex and see me when she got off work.... Well anyway, time for her came to get off work and come see me, when she tells me her works making her stay late for a training, but it won't take long, so she was gonna hurry and then come over. 3 hours go by of her saying it's taking forever, etc. and finally I get impatient and tell her I'm probably just going to go get some stuff done I needed to. She said to go ahead and go and not to wait for her. Well, as I said earlier, we live in the same neighborhood, so I had to drive by, what I didn't know was her house at the time, until I saw her car sitting in the driveway. At this point I tried calling her to ask why if she was at work, her truck was in the driveway of her house. She didn't answer, so I text her and asked her if she drove her truck to work... she said yes, so I sent her a pic and asked her, well isn't this your truck in your driveway? She lost her **** and just replied with WTF, we are done! Then just continued with texts saying that she just got home, but wanted to surprise me so she ran home to change real quick and was going to come over and spend the night, but it doesn't matter because we are done and I have not trust, etc. I just said, "I don't like being lied to, and it sucks because I really liked you".

Anyway, the next day came and I had to see her at deliveries. I didn't know how to act, so I just didn't go near her or pay attention to her, however knowing we had to see eachother at work and not wanting it to be awkward, I text her if we could chat to clear the air when she gets off. She called me, and she explained that she really was just trying to surprise me, and I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she wasn't ready to let me go, and I messed up and basically told her how much I like her). After that point, we texted, but it was obvious that it was different. The next day, she wouldn't respond for a couple hours, and then finally just responded with "I don't think I want to do this, as I think you are looking for something more serious than I am". I responded with "I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but just wanted honesty and communication in whatever we were. Now I know. See you around, no worries."

This is where I am at... It's just weird because prior to the night I caught her car in her driveway, she was the only one talking about how much she liked me, and wanted to see where it goes etc. I do like her, and I did make the mistake of telling her that, however I am mainly just wanting to get her back to have fun with... i.e. sex, fooling around, etc. This is the direction we were headed until I apparently caught her in a lie, or as she puts it, as surprise. Anyway I can get this girl in my bed still only seeing her once a week and using text? Or am I sunk? Literally, just want to get her back to the point where all she talked about was sex and liking me. Literally went to I wanna bang your brains out all the time, to I don't want to do this because I think you want something more serious than I do in one week... I know the turning point was me catching her car in the driveway, but anyway to resolve? Thanks all!
Not doing it right kuz.

#nextset

You dont spam energy for her to reinvest. You step up your game and go get more baeeeees.

The path is always #nextSet not play captain save a hoe.

The solution is to get more girls. Monogamy is phaggotry.
 

Black Widow Void

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Welcome aboard. I see that you're new here.

She looked your name up on the internet - contacted you after finding you on whitepages
She mentioned this to you: Though not thrilled, you accepted this and made no issue.

On your way home, you noticed that despite her claim, her automobile was indeed parked at her house.
You mention this to her: She becomes passive/aggressive, impulsive and unable to look beyond her world.

It appears that you want to salvage a situation with a woman... that is allowed every excuse or last minute whim (without being questioned).
And you appear to be comfortable.... being confined with no 'wiggle room' whatsoever.

I'm not putting you down - just stating the facts.
The power of pu55y is no joke. We've all made self-compromises that we've later regretted.
Currently, you're just a casualty. I'd advise getting out now before it becomes worse.
 

Dropdagloves20

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Hey gents, sorry to revive, but just wanted to thank all of you that gave me advice on this.... and the impossible just happened. ****ed her on my kitchen counter not even 30 mins ago after I text her over to talk... mission complete, and you guys helped a ton...appreciate it!
 
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