Going to meet that cute 49 yr old teacher tonight. How to keep frame?

[biggoal]

@biggoal

I'm going to side with you on this one. Her behavior of sending daily photos of herself is not what platonic male/female "friends" do. You know this and so does she.
It's not so much that she intentionally lead you own. It was more vanity and disregard on her part (she was more consumed with getting attention than risking ... sending out a mixed message).

I see no way that this is salvageable. If you want to hang out with her ... knowing that there will be no romantic/secksual outcome, then that's your choice.

Personally, I think you should try to hang out with her. I say this because it'll be good male/female interaction experience for you. You'll have no anxiety because you already know that there will no 'exciting' outcome. Then, when you do meet someone that seems more 'promising' you'll have a little bit of recent male/female interaction experience behind you that could be helpful.

If you do decide to hang out with her, be prepared. Once she becomes involved with someone, I can almost guarantee that you'll become invisible to her (that's the way most women are).

I like your post! Again, why would a 50 year old cute woman do this though? Like the other day sent a selfie from her classroom with cute lipstick on looking all sexy and that. Every other day when she's out and about she'd send me pics. Usually one would think she was trying to be flirty and grab my attention to want her if she's sending all these cute photos like that.

What good does it do for her getting attention? I don't think like this. I don't send selfies to girls on OLD I'm not interested in dating.

So, that's why I asked her out for this weekend. She's sending pics and all kinds of stuff like which to me was sending signals she was interested and trying to give me hints.

You might recall when I met her New Years Day after the movies at Starbucks her friend was with her. They seemed like Homers sisters from the Simpsons how they talk to each other as they were best friends. She said her friend knows all about me too.

Do you think she tells her best friend all about me? We had a long talk tonight so I wonder what she's telling her friend. I almost think it's her friend trying to influence her now. There was a thread on here today about girls being influenced by their friends regarding guys.

 

[synecdoche]

Women love validation. And they love drama.

She'll send mixed signals to keep you engaged, hook you right back in with a sexy selfie when she needs some more attention from you. She loves to play this game. The age doesn't, 20 or 50, women still operate the same.

I agree with Black Widow Void, if she still wants to hang out, go for it. You have nothing to lose only experience to gain. Who knows, she might be really horny that night, give her some plausible deniability and you might just get a lay out of it.

 

[biggoal]

Women love validation. And they love drama.

She'll send mixed signals to keep you engaged, hook you right back in with a sexy selfie when she needs some more attention from you. She loves to play this game. The age doesn't, 20 or 50, women still operate the same.

I agree with Black Widow Void, if she still wants to hang out, go for it. You have nothing to lose only experience to gain. Who knows, she might be really horny that night, give her some plausible deniability and you might just get a lay out of it.

That's what I was thinking too. I mean, obviously she doesn't think I'm some nasty slob or anything like that or she would have never replied to me and such so you never know. That is what I was thinking. Is it possible since she's open to hanging out she could be a FWB at least until she finds a boyfriend?

It seems like she really did see some connection or friendship. Like on Wed I texted her to see how her day was going. That was her super busy day, but this morning she texted me apologizing for taking so long to reply and was chatty and such. Again, she brings the 14 year age gap about the partner and romantic thing always.

We texted a lot tonight so I can't contact her for a few days because that will look needy. I wonder when she sees her best friend who's also a teacher at school tomorrow what she will tell her about me and the texting tonight. IF her friend will give her bad advice.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I personally think it's common for members here to embellish things a little... but if she is really and I do mean *really* texting you as much as you say and apologetic as you say...

We may be able to supply you with an ace.
I'm asking other members here to weigh in on my suggestion and either knock it down or... add to this in order to work.

Here are my current thoughts.

Keep the text as friendly as usual, but (and let's wait until other members chime in and agree or disagree ... before you proceed)
I'm going to suggest the 'take-a-way' method. This must be very subtle.
You'll want to say something in a friendly matter of fact method like...

You: I got to thinking about it and you're probably right.
let her fish for what you are talking about
You: I was talking to a friend the other day and she said that our age difference would probably not work out.
let her say what ever she will say
You: We can never have too many friends and so maybe the week after next we can grab coffee

You have probably already mentioned something about this weekend... and now you are taking it off the table and without any explanation. You offer *no* clues as to why this change of plans or any further clues to who this "friend" is that advised you that the age gap was too much.

The next time she sends a text or sends a photo, you wait *twice* as long before you reply.
If you've initiated text in the past, stop. Let her start reaching out.

I can't guarantee that the above will work to your advantage 100%. However, if she is *truly* texting you as much as you say and sending photos as often as you claim, you may be able to turn the tables.

Again, I ask other forum members to help craft a table-turning workaround.

 

[synecdoche]

I personally think it's common for members here to embellish things a little... but if she is really and I do mean *really* texting you as much as you say and apologetic as you say...

We may be able to supply you with an ace.
I'm asking other members here to weigh in on my suggestion and either knock it down or... add to this in order to work.

Here are my current thoughts.

Keep the text as friendly as usual, but (and let's wait until other members chime in and agree or disagree ... before you proceed)
I'm going to suggest the 'take-a-way' method. This must be very subtle.
You'll want to say something in a friendly matter of fact method like...

You: I got to thinking about it and you're probably right.
let her fish for what you are talking about
You: I was talking to a friend the other day and she said that our age difference would probably not work out.
let her say what ever she will say
You: We can never have too many friends and so maybe the week after next we can grab coffee

You have probably already mentioned something about this weekend... and now you are taking it off the table and without any explanation. You offer *no* clues as to why this change of plans or any further clues to who this "friend" is that advised you that the age gap was too much.

The next time she sends a text or sends a photo, you wait *twice* as long before you reply.
If you've initiated text in the past, stop. Let her start reaching out.

I can't guarantee that the above will work to your advantage 100%. However, if she is *truly* texting you as much as you say and sending photos as often as you claim, you may be able to turn the tables.

Again, I ask other forum members to help craft a table-turning workaround.

On point, might be the only option left tro try to escalate. Start agreeing with her. Disqualify her hard. Take longer to reply, act uninterested flr a change. Her hamster might start spinning.

 

[biggoal]

On point, might be the only option left tro try to escalate. Start agreeing with her. Disqualify her hard. Take longer to reply, act uninterested flr a change. Her hamster might start spinning.

I'm not going to contact her again until sun the earliest. What happens if I dont hear from her for days? Should I then reach out?

 

[synecdoche]

I'm not going to contact her again until sun the earliest. What happens if I dont hear from her for days? Should I then reach out?

If she is texting you and sending you sexy selfies as much as you say, she'll be back. Don't contact her. She needs the attention.

And if she doesn't, move on. The world won't stop spinning.

 

[MatureDJ]

Do you need "frame" for a 50 year old Woman?

Don't you go on a date like every weekend with grannies?

You should have this figured out by now, just sayin.

Agreed. A 50-something friend of mine who has just gotten married was a "man in demand" for all his acquaintances that were throwing 40-something women on his plate. His "frame" was "I'm a regular at *** Bar, so have her meet me there - of course, if the fish are biting she'll have to take a raincheck".

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm not going to contact her again until sun the earliest. What happens if I dont hear from her for days? Should I then reach out?

No, you NEXT her!

 

[MrWood]

maybe we operate different.
I let a woman know right away that I am sexually interested directly or innuendo.
Comment when she sends a pic or texting, put the sexual vibe out and create tension.. or not.
Stops you from wasting your time

Honestly, as much as we were taught (wrongly) you cant "nice friend" your way into a woman's pvssy

 

[andreihaha]

I've seen you mention older women telling you stuff like this before, so let me explain something to you. When older women try to match you with someone or suggest you find someone younger, it's just a defense mechanism, they're scared. They know you can get someone younger, so they're trying to back out early so they wont get hurt. They're not rejecting you, they're pushing you away out of reasonable fear. If there was no kind of physical attraction at all, she wouldn't have even agreed to meet up.

In these moments, you don't confirm their fears by agreeing with them, you instead put their mind at ease by doubling down. No I want to talk to you, that's why I came here, idc how old you are, I know what I want, I prefer older women, idc about having kids, ect. That's how you bypass that stuff and have sex with them

I did experience something similar last year.
Met a beautiful woman that was 10 years older than me, getting close to 40 years old.
She had some similar defense mechanism, we hit it off and she kept telling me "Oh but you are sooo young".
I did end up having a lot of fun(and some sex) with her during a few months, but in the end, a relationship like this has no future. And I felt kinda bad for wasting her time, knowing she was still looking for someone to start a family with.

Bottom line, you should grow some balls and approach women your age/younger.

 

[biggoal]

She hasn't contacted me at all today. How long should I maintain no contact with her?

 

[Billtx49]

She hasn't contacted me at all today. How long should I maintain no contact with her?

Gettin itchy already ?

 

[biggoal]

Gettin itchy already ?

Nope, gotta contain that! I'm talking to a low end HB7 44 year old about 50 miles away so it might be a couple weeks before i get up there. She seems more interested but again 50 miles.

I haven't been doing much on OLD lately. It burns you out and is time consuming searching and then writing up messages for about a 10-15 percent reply rate. My business is busy right now and takes up more of my time. I can't sit for hours on OLD browsing for women. It's actually more time consuming than in person game.

 

[biggoal]

I did experience something similar last year.
Met a beautiful woman that was 10 years older than me, getting close to 40 years old.
She had some similar defense mechanism, we hit it off and she kept telling me "Oh but you are sooo young".
I did end up having a lot of fun(and some sex) with her during a few months, but in the end, a relationship like this has no future. And I felt kinda bad for wasting her time, knowing she was still looking for someone to start a family with.

Bottom line, you should grow some balls and approach women your age/younger.

I use OLD 99 percent of the time and in this region within 60 miles the only decent looking women are over 35! There are a few under 35 but they're VERY picky being in such low quantities, I mean low quantities and the others are ugly lardballs who are under 35. The 44 year old women are a lot hotter than most of the 30 year olds you see. I'd rather have a hot 40 plus year old compared to a 30 year old whale.

So how many days would you wait before contacting her? I mean from a marriage perspective me being 36 it wouldn't work out likely and she wants long term she said. I can't see marriage with that age gap but I wanna bone her. She's not that type looking for just sex just from her attitude and such, she wants a relationship. So how do I break this barrier down?

 

[MrWood]

So how many days would you wait before contacting her? I mean from a marriage perspective me being 36 it wouldn't work out likely and she wants long term she said. I can't see marriage with that age gap but I wanna bone her. She's not that type looking for just sex just from her attitude and such, she wants a relationship. So how do I break this barrier down?

*facepalm*

 

[andreihaha]

I use OLD 99 percent of the time and in this region within 60 miles the only decent looking women are over 35! There are a few under 35 but they're VERY picky being in such low quantities, I mean low quantities and the others are ugly lardballs who are under 35. The 44 year old women are a lot hotter than most of the 30 year olds you see. I'd rather have a hot 40 plus year old compared to a 30 year old whale.

So how many days would you wait before contacting her? I mean from a marriage perspective me being 36 it wouldn't work out likely and she wants long term she said. I can't see marriage with that age gap but I wanna bone her. She's not that type looking for just sex just from her attitude and such, she wants a relationship. So how do I break this barrier down?

There are hot looking women everywhere in this world. They are picky about some guys, as you are with landwhales, right?
Would they be picky about a really hot guy? No. You know who would be picky even about a really hot guy? 50 year olds, even 40 year olds. Because they are jaded and hurt and afraid. And if they reject a Brad Pitt-looking mutherfvcker, they'll keep rejecting you too. Cuz you ain't no Brad Pitt-looking, suave and manly motherfvcker. You're an average guy, right?
You are barking at the wrong tree, you have more chances of picking up a 21yo than a 50yo, and she'll make your life a lot happier, I guarantee it.
Get out of your nerdcave and you'll start to see the hot young chicks. Or keep wanking to granny porn, but if you do that, stop asking for advice, for you are unhelpable.

 

[corrector]

So how many days would you wait before contacting her? I mean from a marriage perspective me being 36 it wouldn't work out likely and she wants long term she said. I can't see marriage with that age gap but I wanna bone her. She's not that type looking for just sex just from her attitude and such, she wants a relationship. So how do I break this barrier down?

If you live with your mom at home, apart from changing addresses and having sex, how different is marriage from your current situation? You'll just be swapping one mom for another one right?

 

[biggoal]

There are hot looking women everywhere in this world. They are picky about some guys, as you are with landwhales, right?
Would they be picky about a really hot guy? No. You know who would be picky even about a really hot guy? 50 year olds, even 40 year olds. Because they are jaded and hurt and afraid. And if they reject a Brad Pitt-looking mutherfvcker, they'll keep rejecting you too. Cuz you ain't no Brad Pitt-looking, suave and manly motherfvcker. You're an average guy, right?
You are barking at the wrong tree, you have more chances of picking up a 21yo than a 50yo, and she'll make your life a lot happier, I guarantee it.
Get out of your nerdcave and you'll start to see the hot young chicks. Or keep wanking to granny porn, but if you do that, stop asking for advice, for you are unhelpable.

Is that why most guys on here even in their 40s go after younger women? Why do they stay away from 50 year olds?

 

[biggoal]

There are hot looking women everywhere in this world. They are picky about some guys, as you are with landwhales, right?
Would they be picky about a really hot guy? No. You know who would be picky even about a really hot guy? 50 year olds, even 40 year olds. Because they are jaded and hurt and afraid. And if they reject a Brad Pitt-looking mutherfvcker, they'll keep rejecting you too. Cuz you ain't no Brad Pitt-looking, suave and manly motherfvcker. You're an average guy, right?
You are barking at the wrong tree, you have more chances of picking up a 21yo than a 50yo, and she'll make your life a lot happier, I guarantee it.
Get out of your nerdcave and you'll start to see the hot young chicks. Or keep wanking to granny porn, but if you do that, stop asking for advice, for you are unhelpable.

So you think young women are less miserable than a middle age post wall?