The Never Ending Text Conversation

[MountainSlide]

It seems to me that cellphones have made everyone so available these days. Do you see the never ending text conversation as a possible way to build attraction or an attraction killer? Should texting be used primarily for logistics?

To be clear, when I say never ending text convo. I mean a conversation without an end and having intermittent messages throughout the day/evening where no one says “okay, chat later”

 

[cola]

In 2010 the consensus here was text only to set up dates. That’s just not realistic anymore.

 

[biggoal]

I like texting. I text daily with that 49 year old teacher.

 

[MountainSlide]

I like texting. I text daily with that 49 year old teacher.

wtf you texting about lol

 

[Serenity]

I see it as an attraction killer, for my part. Excessive texting is very annoying, I hate when someone sends text after text to hold me hostage in their conversation.

I say primarily logistics and maybe very short conversation (if she can behave enough to limit it to that). Save the interesting topics for actual face to face conversation. No wonder nobody has anything to say on their first dates, they've said it at in texts already. Idiots.

 

[biggoal]

wtf you texting about lol

Usually about how her or mine's day is going, what she's doing, stuff like that. I guess more like friends.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I like texting. I text daily with that 49 year old teacher.

@biggoal

I notice that you frequently respond to other forum member's postings. However (and correct me if I'm mistaken) you only respond when you can attempt to hi-jack the focus on to yourself (your above quoted response serves as one example).

It's not as though we're only here to help others - in order to accumulate 'rep' points or anything... but I've also noticed that you never give them, nor offer any forum member as much as a thank you.

If your forum behavior here is similar to how you interact with women, then you might want to reexamine your behavior and approach.

 

[synecdoche]

I agree with Cola, these days it's hard to get away with not texting for days and only text to meet up. I don't mind them texting me multiple times a day if it has value. A girl who wants to keep in touch with me during the day but has nothing to offer in these conversations, those are the ones you don't want to have an endless conversation with.

As long as you stay non needy, don't give too much information I think it can work. Call back humor is great, giving them a hard time as well, keep questions to a bare minmum and keep it light (depending on the type of girl). Don't start asking her how her day was.

 

[MountainSlide]

I agree with Cola, these days it's hard to get away with not texting for days and only text to meet up. I don't mind them texting me multiple times a day if it has value. A girl who wants to keep in touch with me during the day but has nothing to offer in these conversations, those are the ones you don't want to have an endless conversation with.

As long as you stay non needy, don't give too much information I think it can work. Call back humor is great, giving them a hard time as well, keep questions to a bare minmum and keep it light (depending on the type of girl). Don't start asking her how her day was.

I was dating this one girl and she never had anything of value to say lol. But she’d text me relentlessly and get offended if I didn’t respond right away. Drove me nuts. She was really hot though.

I met this other girl a few nights ago at bar. She seemed really high interest when I met her. I’ve got a date set with her on Wednesday. If I text her she’s usually pretty funny. But she doesn’t seem to initiate texting at all. In this situation would it be advisable or not to ping her every once in a while?

 

[xplt]

I was dating this one girl and she never had anything of value to say lol. But she’d text me relentlessly and get offended if I didn’t respond right away. Drove me nuts. She was really hot though.

I met this other girl a few nights ago at bar. She seemed really high interest when I met her. I’ve got a date set with her on Wednesday. If I text her she’s usually pretty funny. But she doesn’t seem to initiate texting at all. In this situation would it be advisable or not to ping her every once in a while?

A girl I see currently initiates once per week, max. Most of the time it's me who initiates, but she always replies fast and agrees always to dates.

Had others who texted never ending and never made time for dates. - I cut contact

Had others who texted never ending, initiated and always agreed.

Had others where initiating and availability was 50/50.

...

If they reply or initiate, I would ping here and there. But won't overdo anymore.
If initiating is always on your side, pull back a few days and wait what happens.
I bet she will initiate when things went further. I think there is no universal receipt for texting.

Here are some good threats about textgame, I used much of the advice the first tries on OLD and WhatsApp. By now I just do what works best for me. Just relax and don't be too pushy. And don't overanalyze when things go wrong.

 

[MountainSlide]

A girl I see currently initiates once per week, max. Most of the time it's me who initiates, but she always replies fast and agrees always to dates.

Had others who texted never ending and never made time for dates. - I cut contact

Had others who texted never ending, initiated and always agreed.

Had others where initiating and availability was 50/50.

...

If they reply or initiate, I would ping here and there. But won't overdo anymore.
If initiating is always on your side, pull back a few days and wait what happens.
I bet she will initiate when things went further. I think there is no universal receipt for texting.

Here are some good threats about textgame, I used much of the advice the first tries on OLD and WhatsApp. By now I just do what works best for me. Just relax and don't be too pushy. And don't overanalyze when things go wrong.

I’ve been keeping the texting to a min. Once every few days. Got a date set anyway, but I find you gotta keep them at a certain range of distance or the likelihood of them cancelling goes up. But also not being boring.

 

[JohnChops]

Texting 24/7 kills attraction.

 

[Glassguy]

Agree on all accounts (Except for what Big goal said- He is on ignore and I cant see his actual posts):

1.) You certainly wont get away with ONLY sending a singular text to set up a date and her only respond with a singular text to confirm. Women are chatty. I find the chattier they are through text, the less talkative they are in person and vice versa.

Remember that people who are truly BUSY wont have time to text all day. They are out DOING things and making things happen. This is why IMO they have more to talk about when you actually meet up and they are far more interesting people.

2.) You can certainly kill attraction by over texting for several reasons. #1, it is impossible to remain mysterious and leave a woman wanting to find things out about you if you have told her your life story over a day's texting. #2, in reverse of what I said above, you will have plenty to talk about when you actually are together if you havent already ran through everything in text.

If a woman feels as though she needs to send me texts telling me everything she is doing, what is happening, yada yada, I see that as a red flag. #1 she is not a busy and productive person. #2 this is a person that is looking for constant attention or even worse, someone to provide them happiness they cannot get on their own.

My rules for texting:

1- I do not always respond back right away. I respond back when I have time.
2- ALWAYS keep texting light and upbeat, especially early on in the first few months.
3- ALWAYS be sexual in text AFTER you have had sex with the chick. Obviously not 100% sexting, but you need to incorporate sex into your messages.
4- Keep your texts short. If you are communicating/chatting through text, you should be giving short responses to something SHE initiated. You should not be initiating many texts other than setting up the next date once you have already went out with a chick.
5- Light on the emojis/lol's
6- Texting, just like having a conversation in person, is painting a picture in her head of you. Dont be a clown, stand up comedian or be too serious either.

A woman with value is always looking for ways to disqualify you. Youre better to say as little as possible than have some long ass text that she takes the wrong way. Better to say too little than too much. Texting, if not done correctly, will give a woman the chance to disqualify you before you even meet up.

Happy hunting

 

[xplt]

Women are chatty. I find the chattier they are through text, the less talkative they are in person and vice versa.

HAHA. Never thought about, but this is true...

If a woman feels as though she needs to send me texts telling me everything she is doing, what is happening, yada yada, I see that as a red flag. #1 she is not a busy and productive person. #2 this is a person that is looking for constant attention or even worse, someone to provide them happiness they cannot get on their own.

You know my ex?!

 

[shouldbefun]

Agree on all accounts (Except for what Big goal said- He is on ignore and I cant see his actual posts):

1.) You certainly wont get away with ONLY sending a singular text to set up a date and her only respond with a singular text to confirm. Women are chatty. I find the chattier they are through text, the less talkative they are in person and vice versa.

Remember that people who are truly BUSY wont have time to text all day. They are out DOING things and making things happen. This is why IMO they have more to talk about when you actually meet up and they are far more interesting people.

2.) You can certainly kill attraction by over texting for several reasons. #1, it is impossible to remain mysterious and leave a woman wanting to find things out about you if you have told her your life story over a day's texting. #2, in reverse of what I said above, you will have plenty to talk about when you actually are together if you havent already ran through everything in text.

If a woman feels as though she needs to send me texts telling me everything she is doing, what is happening, yada yada, I see that as a red flag. #1 she is not a busy and productive person. #2 this is a person that is looking for constant attention or even worse, someone to provide them happiness they cannot get on their own.

My rules for texting:

1- I do not always respond back right away. I respond back when I have time.
2- ALWAYS keep texting light and upbeat, especially early on in the first few months.
3- ALWAYS be sexual in text AFTER you have had sex with the chick. Obviously not 100% sexting, but you need to incorporate sex into your messages.
4- Keep your texts short. If you are communicating/chatting through text, you should be giving short responses to something SHE initiated. You should not be initiating many texts other than setting up the next date once you have already went out with a chick.
5- Light on the emojis/lol's
6- Texting, just like having a conversation in person, is painting a picture in her head of you. Dont be a clown, stand up comedian or be too serious either.

A woman with value is always looking for ways to disqualify you. Youre better to say as little as possible than have some long ass text that she takes the wrong way. Better to say too little than too much. Texting, if not done correctly, will give a woman the chance to disqualify you before you even meet up.

Happy hunting

Ok could you expand point 1 ? Should we chat with them? I've been hammered that texting is for logistics because every message could get more needier as you get more emotional. Therefore say I got a number and I text back a low investment ice breaker. Say she responds then what? What on earth one would talk about that wouldn't shoot your foot?

 

[Glassguy]

Ok could you expand point 1 ? Should we chat with them? I've been hammered that texting is for logistics because every message could get more needier as you get more emotional. Therefore say I got a number and I text back a low investment ice breaker. Say she responds then what? What on earth one would talk about that wouldn't shoot your foot?

IMO you should be conversational without giving away too many things about yourself through text. You can do this the same way you do on a date face to face. Just keep the conversation going and keep her texting. Respond back with things like "Really? That sounds adventurous.....what happened next?".

After you go out with a chick or are fvcking her, then you should have her initiating most of the time in text.

 

[lifewobluelenses]

I do both, Depends on the plate. You need to adjust for their personality but i never intitiate texting

 

[shouldbefun]

IMO you should be conversational without giving away too many things about yourself through text. You can do this the same way you do on a date face to face. Just keep the conversation going and keep her texting. Respond back with things like "Really? That sounds adventurous.....what happened next?".

After you go out with a chick or are fvcking her, then you should have her initiating most of the time in text.

Ok say I got a girls number, sent an ice breaker (hey its me etc), they respond back politely.
Now my goal is to take her on a date. So in this case, what should I be texting then? Should my next text be along the lines "lets hang out?" or is it far too early?

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

I do very well texting thru out the day with women. I think it builds repour and makes them more comfortable with 1st date sex. They seem to initiate the daily texts and enjoy checking in thru out the day. I do wonder if maybe this is different because im dating older women and they are different than ones in their 20s or 30s.
If they are initiating the daily texts i'd say respond back and if they keep the chat going respond but at some point angle for setting a date. I think women want some feel first of who the man is they are going on a date with, after the date maybe you can pull back on the texts and go for the mystery aspect.

 

[Glassguy]

Ok say I got a girls number, sent an ice breaker (hey its me etc), they respond back politely.
Now my goal is to take her on a date. So in this case, what should I be texting then? Should my next text be along the lines "lets hang out?" or is it far too early?

Me: Heyyyyy there. Its Glassguy. Whatcha up to?
Her: Just doing blah blah
Me: That sounds so boooorrrrriiiinnnngggg. What do you like to do for fun? Adventurous?
Her: I like blah blah blah
Me: Cool...same here. I gotta run but it sounds like we have a few things in common. I am grabbing a drink Tuesday night around 8. Why dont you join me. Shoot me your number and we can set up the whens and wheres


Thats pretty much it. I agree with building a little rapport, but there is a difference in her qualifying you vs you qualifying her.

I've had plenty of chicks that would tell me they were into shyte that I dislike and I would not ask them out. They are qualifying themselves to me......not the other way around.

If I am doing all of the talking (text and in person) then who is qualifying who?

I dont like asking a chick out right off the bat. I want to find out some things first. Why? Because I have not even made sure that I would have fun with her on a date. Why would I want to go out with someone purely based on 100% looks? She may be a total bytch. Sit and have drink with that personality for an hour? No thanks.

Secondly, without building some minor rapport with her before asking her out, what has she done or how has she qualified herself to me in order for me to even ask her out to begin with? Just because she is attractive? Hell there are a lot of attractive women out there. I am looking for someone that at least also has a good personality if I am going to actually meet up with her.

You qualify her, stay in a strong frame.