Hmm... I understand not putting in a whole lot of effort. You shouldn’t be staring at the profile for over a minute trying to figure out what the perfect opener is. That’s getting too invested. But giving a little effort is alright and won’t hurt anyone.
Alright, so let’s look at it from another perspective. Say you’re using bumble. The girl messages you first on that app. In my experience, 90% of the time they’re going to say some variant of ‘hey’.That annoyed me. Because if I were them, I would’ve said something more interesting. So that turned me off a bit. It’s lazy And it’s the exact thing they b!tch about in their profiles. ‘Say something interesting other than hey blah blah’. Now obviously that example is a case for me to stop making so much effort. And I have.Now I just skim and if I think of something, usually something that’ll make me laugh or a small detail about them, I’ll mention it. I don’t stare at their profiles for minutes on end though, that’s too much effort.
Now everyone has their own game, clearly the women
@Glassguy pulls appreciate a no bs approach. Although I’d argue they still care a little bit because how’d you know she likes back rubs? Anyways, I minimize effort by limiting the number of messages we exchange. Some guys feel like the longer you talk the more likely she is to go out. I think the longer you talk the less mysterious you become and the more likely you are to be another orbiter. So I try to keep it within 5 messages each.
I believe I saw
@MrWood say that what the woman cares about is how you make her feel. I agree. Being brief and to the point like Glass excites her. Maybe makes her feel safe because he is an assertive dude. Makes it clear and goes after what he wants. Perhaps even a bit adventurous because it’s so different than what she’s used to on OLD. You gotta figure out how you can achieve those things. I would say her profile is a big help in doing so. She is used to receiving ‘hey’ variants. Maybe talking to her about something separates you. It doesn’t require a lot of energy to have a convo.
Last night I set up a date for tomorrow. Asked her what her first and last tat was. There wasn’t anything in her bio. She answered and said it was a great question. We chatted a bit about her tats and I said let’s get a drink. I wanna know more. So boom, we’re getting drinks. I feel like by asking about something I saw in her pics I got her talking about something she’s excited about. It makes people comfortable if you can talk like a normal human. Bonus if you make them feel good.
