I failed the no contact rule... Heres what happened

[Jolil2019]

Mad thing is, this woman isn't anything special. Most of you probably wouldn't look at her twice, but if you build up this kind of emotional attachment you get stuck in my position

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

Mad thing is, this woman isn't anything special. Most of you probably wouldn't look at her twice, but if you build up this kind of emotional attachment you get stuck in my position

I seriously hope you are not going to that meal.

 

[Jolil2019]

I seriously hope you are not going to that meal.

Why?
What do you think she is after or wanting?

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

Why?
What do you think she is after or wanting?

She just wants to make sure she still have you in her back pocket!

You are repeating the same mistakes over and over and over. Don't you see it?

She is basically using you as a man servant.

Besides, do you really think 1 day of NC creates separation anxiety??? And how are you creating separation anxiety if you are going to her house for a meal!

 

[Jolil2019]

She just wants to make sure she still have you in her back pocket!

You are repeating the same mistakes over and over and over. Don't you see it?

She is basically using you as a man servant.

Besides, do you really think 1 day of NC creates separation anxiety??? And how are you creating separation anxiety if you are going to her house for a meal!

Why would she want me in her back pocket? She already walked away from me

You are right by the way, just need a little enlightenment

 

[xplt]

Don‘t stroke her ego so fast. You even told her you go NC. Going over after just one day sets you back to zero. You really want her back? Let her work a little bit for your attention. She said she tried to miss you and you didn‘t let her... She let you down so many times. Din’t be a doormat. Let her experience what she wanted to.

But let me say, there‘s no black and white. My ex ie lost trust in NC very fast and she was the one who ended things first.

 

[Trump]

Today however, I decided enough was enough. I couldn't live like this any more and decided to grow a set of balls. I rang her and told her we cannot contact eachother anymore, I was not happy being just friends and to contact me if she changed her mind.

“Hi Cindy, I’m calling you to tell you something.”
”What’s that?”
“I want tell you I cannot contact you anymore.”
“You went out of your way to call me to tell me you won’t call me anymore?
”Yep. I am not “happy” being just friends, contact me if you change her mind.
”Uh, ok.“

To be fair, I almost sent an email as above to a girl once, but I was in my early 20’s. Thank God I didn’t send it.

Her words were "I tried missing you, being jealous knowing you were out, wondering what you were upto - but I was unable to feel that way"

My response was "You wont miss me I was contacting you every day"

I would have said “to feel ”what way”?”

I've now gone no contact with her after 2.5 months of chasing and am wondering if even at this late stage it will have any effect.

Any ideas as to what I can do?

2.5 months of no contact? Might have an effect, although she could be 2.4 months along.

I would move on.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Well. Nice you hear from you OP. I recently failed NC rule as well and where did it lead to ? More restrictions and finally I let go. From a negative side of women perspective, I was always thinking she is chatting to someone on phone, some other guy is probably flirting with her and she is giving IOUs and getting wet and soon she will give her body to him. She is having her own new world where she is laughing, smiling, her dirty organs are oozing liquid involuntarily while just talking to her new man who is just commenting about her dress which is 2 years old. She is laughing, smiling and having fun in her new brand world. And she is not talking to one guy, there is another guy who see is liking and liking his insta photos. That guy responded with thank and she got more horny.

And there you are, in your old world, still in wait state, waiting for her to just give a text message reply, or receive your phone, or
look in the direction you are in. Fortunately she texts you "Hey! do you know where did I keep my *insert something* dress ". With a blink you remember it and give her direction. She says "Thanks!" . Hey with ! and Thanks with !. Wohooo! you said to yourself. Never before she texted me with such carefully put exclamation symbol. You become the happiest person in the world. You do 100 pushups, you do 50 pull-ups, you walk your neighbour dog and clean its potty but the police saw you and fine you $10 for it. You take bath, clean your house, cook at home, start working on your project. Everything is alright. We are getting back.

Surprise. She just wanted to know where her thing was and instead of scratching her head she thought her doggy would remember it. She is wearing that dress to meet her two new ****boys. She got so wet that she had to actually find another dress. She didn't wear underwear or bra. She just put the long top and went to enjoy her new life. She enjoyed threesome. She liked it. Nobody got her feeling this great ever before. She is staying for more.

Night has fallen and you are tired of your all your productive work. You want to sleep. You have been jerking off lately but today is a good day. Today you have won your ex's heart by remembering the location of her favourite dress. Today you want to give up and sleep thinking about holding her hand again. You sleep.

Guess what. She didn't message you next day. Or the next to next day. She might be packing her stuffs. You text and she says "busy". You ask her if she is ok, she says yes. You ask her if she needs any help, she says no. You ask her if she is coming back, she says "absolutely not"

There. There you are. Just stay alone buddy. I have done this and women are my time anymore. If I don't **** the day 1 and leave her by day 2, not doing it.

Man, this is some FUNNY f*ucking s*hit Bro, ROFLMAO.

Seriously though dude, you appear to be the obsessive-compulsive type, be careful or get therapy.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Mad thing is, this woman isn't anything special. Most of you probably wouldn't look at her twice, but if you build up this kind of emotional attachment you get stuck in my position

If she isn't this special then why are you bothering? You are going to end up being unhappy again in a few months once this "get back together" thing wears off

 

[BackInTheGame78]

“Hi Cindy, I’m calling you to tell you something.”
”What’s that?”
“I want tell you I cannot contact you anymore.”
“You went out of your way to call me to tell me you won’t call me anymore?
”Yep. I am not “happy” being just friends, contact me if you change her mind.
”Uh, ok.“

To be fair, I almost sent an email as above to a girl once, but I was in my early 20’s. Thank God I didn’t send it.



I would have said “to feel ”what way”?”



2.5 months of no contact? Might have an effect, although she could be 2.4 months along.

I would move on.

See that's the "macho" thing to do but the dumb thing also. Whatever they want to call it doesn't matter. Far easier to seduce them again in person because their guard will be down since you are "just friends". In fact if you know what you are doing its almost not even a fair fight.

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

See that's the "macho" thing to do but the dumb thing also. Whatever they want to call it doesn't matter. Far easier to seduce them again in person because their guard will be down since you are "just friends". In fact if you know what you are doing its almost not even a fair fight.

Our collective experience indicates otherwise.

Might be easier in person after a proper NC though. But not after 1 day of NC, no. Even if she comes back, she will soon leave your sorry ass as she doesn't know what it feels like to live her life without you.

 

[Glassguy]

If I'm honest this is the reaction I want to attain.

She invited me over for a meal tonight at her place with her and her kid who still calls me daddy. Not going to read too much into it, but she is blowing my phone up with texts and the like.

I am wanting to creat the seperation anxiety, I feel this is key to this

So you're wanting to play games?

HER kid calls YOU daddy? But its not YOUR kid?

Lemme guess......she is a single mom and you dont have kids?

This ends very badly for you if you continue. Not sure why it's so hard to go find a new and blank canvas. Play the field. Do what's actually best for you.

I can predict the future on this one with ease.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Our collective experience indicates otherwise.

Might be easier in person after a proper NC though. But not after 1 day of NC, no. Even if she comes back, she will soon leave your sorry ass as she doesn't know what it feels like to live her life without you.

Oh hell no. Not after 1 day. Got to give at least 3-4 weeks to get the negative thoughts out of her mind

 

[Jolil2019]

So you're wanting to play games?

HER kid calls YOU daddy? But its not YOUR kid?

Lemme guess......she is a single mom and you dont have kids?

This ends very badly for you if you continue. Not sure why it's so hard to go find a new and blank canvas. Play the field. Do what's actually best for you.

I can predict the future on this one with ease.

Spot on in your guess.

Single mum, size 12, covered in tattoos, interatial child from her ex who think I'm 'dad', terrible temper, lack of empathy, daddy issues, toxic family background (mum divorced 4 times)

I could go on but I wont....

As for a blank canvas, you're right there too.

I chased her ass for the last 85 days.
85 days I could have spent at the gym, lifting weights, growing a business, working for w charity or dome other useful use of my time. If I'd put that into practice, it seems likely I would have automatically attracted other women if I was not hung up on my ex.

 

[derby1]

you accepting her invite to hers, is submissive behaviour

also this woman will give you sex, which will result in you offering her "Mr husband" mode the morning after
she will agree, then ghost you that evening as if you never went round

good luck

 

[Glassguy]

Spot on in your guess.

Single mum, size 12, covered in tattoos, interatial child from her ex who think I'm 'dad', terrible temper, lack of empathy, daddy issues, toxic family background (mum divorced 4 times)

I could go on but I wont....

As for a blank canvas, you're right there too.

I chased her ass for the last 85 days.
85 days I could have spent at the gym, lifting weights, growing a business, working for w charity or dome other useful use of my time. If I'd put that into practice, it seems likely I would have automatically attracted other women if I was not hung up on my ex.

Pardon my bluntness......... but she sounds like trash.

How does chasing a woman like this benefit you? If you "catch" her, how does that IMPROVE your status with other women?

Not sounding mean but if that is the only class of women you can get , you need to spend a long time on self improvement. There is no way any man with an ounce of value should be with the woman you described. Especially chasing something like that.

You need to kick this trashy woman to the curb and go work on yourself and YOUR purpose when you find it (you dont have a purpose yet).

Follow me on this: you will never ATTRACT quality women when you are PURSUING women who are dumpster quality.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Spot on in your guess.

Single mum, size 12, covered in tattoos, interatial child from her ex who think I'm 'dad', terrible temper, lack of empathy, daddy issues, toxic family background (mum divorced 4 times)

I could go on but I wont....

As for a blank canvas, you're right there too.

I chased her ass for the last 85 days.
85 days I could have spent at the gym, lifting weights, growing a business, working for w charity or dome other useful use of my time. If I'd put that into practice, it seems likely I would have automatically attracted other women if I was not hung up on my ex.

85 days of not thinking about her. 85 days of not Complaining about women. Not Talking about woman or anything.

 

[Jolil2019]

Pardon my bluntness......... but she sounds like trash.

How does chasing a woman like this benefit you? If you "catch" her, how does that IMPROVE your status with other women?

Not sounding mean but if that is the only class of women you can get , you need to spend a long time on self improvement. There is no way any man with an ounce of value should be with the woman you described. Especially chasing something like that.

You need to kick this trashy woman to the curb and go work on yourself and YOUR purpose when you find it (you dont have a purpose yet).

Follow me on this: you will never ATTRACT quality women when you are PURSUING women who are dumpster quality.

Thanks for the advice. This was spot on and to the point. Just why I or indeed anyone would date a woman like this is questionable.

I think if anything it points to a severe lack of self esteem. Only extensive self improvement can alter this.

 

[Glassguy]

Thanks for the advice. This was spot on and to the point. Just why I or indeed anyone would date a woman like this is questionable.

I think if anything it points to a severe lack of self esteem. Only extensive self improvement can alter this.

Thats the first thing you've said that makes sense.

Kick this trash to the curb. Go work on you. Get in the gym. Take advantage of your hobbies. If you dont have hobbies, go try stuff out and get involved in some that you enjoy.

Go out by yourself now and then and have a drink. Meet people.

 

[MrWood]

Something she said though was key:

Her words were "I tried missing you, being jealous knowing you were out, wondering what you were upto - but I was unable to feel that way"

And she literally told you this.
she couldn't because you were contacting her everyday. Not saying NC would have got her back...

This is WHY we have a NC thread, it works in all cases whether you want her back or not