Why you never take back an ex that has been with somebody else?

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

I was thinking about my case, my ex left me for some other dude, and now is begging me to take her back. Yet, I cannot fathom the idea of doing it because she left me for another dude...and even if she didn't leave me for him but dated him after she broke up with me, I can't take her back.

Yet if I am 100% sure that she dated no one and left me for her own personal reasons, if she begs enough and I feel that she is really remorseful, I just might give her another chance.

What explains this? Insecurity? Jelousy? Self-respect? (And why is it perceived as disrespectful if she dates someone after she leaves?)

Just curious what you guys think.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well think of it this way.

Have you ever had something really good and then after a while you just took it for granted? She probably had very strong feelings for you but your neediness and desperation in the end really drove her away. However, as time goes one she forgets about all the needy behavior you displayed at the end and starts remembering the majority of the relationship and how good it was and begins to view you as the person she loved rather than the person she disliked towards the end again.

Plus she probably found out the guy she rebounded with left a lot to be desired. Which made you seem even better in her eyes because now she views you as something special you don't find every day.

If done right, you could actually build a much better and stronger relationship with her where she will work very hard for your affection and will love you more than she did the first time. It's up to you to not be the weak and needy person she got towards the end but to be the person she started dating. Only you know if its a path worth going down.

 

[soulforge]

Well think of it this way.

Have you ever had something really good and then after a while you just took it for granted? She probably had very strong feelings for you but your neediness and desperation in the end really drove her away. However, as time goes one she forgets about all the needy behavior you displayed at the end and starts remembering the majority of the relationship and how good it was and begins to view you as the person she loved rather than the person she disliked towards the end again.

Plus she probably found out the guy she rebounded with left a lot to be desired. Which made you seem even better in her eyes because now she views you as something special you don't find every day.

If done right, you could actually build a much better and stronger relationship with her where she will work very hard for your affection and will love you more than she did the first time. It's up to you to not be the weak and needy person she got towards the end but to be the person she started dating. Only you know if its a path worth going down.

Ignore the above advice.. Once a woman dumps/leaves you... It's pretty much GUARANTEED she will dump your azz again.

You will always be watching your back for the next dumping, which will weaken you're frame.

 

[soulforge]

Ignore the above advice.. Once a woman dumps/leaves you... It's pretty much GUARANTEED she will dump your azz again.

You will always be watching your back for the next dumping, which will weaken you're frame.

If his frame was weak before, do you think it will really strengthen the second time around, considering she dumped him, took diks elsewhere, then came back when the new guy didn't meet her expectations.

No.. His frame will only be weaker, trying to fix what is broken.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Ignore the above advice.. Once a woman dumps/leaves you... It's pretty much GUARANTEED she will dump your azz again.

You will always be watching your back for the next dumping, which will weaken you're frame.

That's the "rule" but situations in life often are not as black and white as people like to make them. The key is to actually have worked and improved on yourself in the time that you have been gone. If that hasn't happened then yes I agree...good luck with that. If it has happened then it can work and work well.

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

Thanks for your input guys.

I will not be taking back this cheating b*tch, for various reasons including lying, cheating and manipulating.

But what I was wondering specifically, was why most guys will not take back a woman if she dumped him for or if she dated/f*ucked with another guy.

While he might take her back is she dumped him for her own personal reasons and did not hookup with anyone.

Is it insecurity? Pride? Something else?

 

[soulforge]

That's the "rule" but situations in life often are not as black and white as people like to make them. The key is to actually have worked and improved on yourself in the time that you have been gone. If that hasn't happened then yes I agree...good luck with that. If it has happened then it can work and work well.

If you have worked and improved on yourself and become a better person then why go back to the following?

01.Someone who is HIGHLY likely to dump you again

02.Someone who has been suckin and fukin other dudes after she discarded you.

03.Second chance relationships have a massive failure rate.

04.The constant worry of being dumped again, incase you lose frame again, when going through a difficult time in your life.

If you have improved and fixed your weaknesses, then it's always safer to invest in a new person.

So again.. Don't follow the above advice.

Learn from your mistakes and find a better relationship without the uncertainty of your ex relationship.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you have worked and improved on yourself and become a better person then why go back to the following?

01.Someone who is HIGHLY likely to dump you again

02.Someone who has been suckin and fukin other dudes after she discarded you.

03.Second chance relationships have a massive failure rate.

04.The constant worry of being dumped again, incase you lose frame again, when going through a difficult time in your life.

If you have improved and fixed your weaknesses, then it's always safer to invest in a new person.

So again.. Don't follow the above advice.

Learn from your mistakes and find a better relationship without the uncertainty of your ex relationship.

See that's where you are wrong. They dumped the person you became. In many cases including the OPs case, the guy basically forced the woman to dump him by the way he acted over a long period of time. Needy, desperate, unmanly, etc. It's called taking responsibility for your role in the dumping which in these cases is pretty high.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I will not be taking back this cheating b*tch, for various reasons including lying, cheating and manipulating.

Good. It's not difficult backslide and I see that you haven't. Keep it going, my friend.

I was wondering specifically, was why most guys will not take back a woman if she dumped him for or if she dated/f*ucked with another guy.

Each forum member will have their own perspective. Personally speaking, at my age, I know that I'm not the first person to enter. It's like... we know that our parents have had sex (for fun and not for reproducing) but we just block things like this out of our mind. However, once I have 'marked my territory' with a woman and she's been with another, she appears 'tainted' in my eyes. Am I acting on ego? Maybe, but I'm okay with it.

While he might take her back is she dumped him for her own personal reasons and did not hookup with anyone.Is it insecurity? Pride? Something else?

This one hits close to home. After a four year relationship, a gal gave me my walking papers because I had become complacent and had taken the relationship for granted. She was right. Anytime she was over, she ironed my clothes, cooked and nearly always available in the bedroom. Taking ownership where it belongs, I had quit taking her out as often or maintaining the 'freshness' in the relationship. In fairness, I got what I deserved. If she had (back when the relationship mattered) wanted to try again, I would have been willing.

I think it all boils down to how a relationship ends... and accepting accountability for our own actions as well.

 

[soulforge]

See that's where you are wrong. They dumped the person you became. In many cases including the OPs case, the guy basically forced the woman to dump him by the way he acted over a long period of time. Needy, desperate, unmanly, etc. It's called taking responsibility for your role in the dumping which in these cases is pretty high.

Dude you still don't get it...

I get that the guy maybe to blame if he lost frame.. But going back to a chick who dumped you, doesn't make everything okay again once you get your chit together.

It's quite rare for a relationship to workout after a break up..

And why try to fix something broken, when you can move onto something new.

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

Have you ever had something really good and then after a while you just took it for granted? She probably had very strong feelings for you but your neediness and desperation in the end really drove her away.

The "official" reasons why she left me were the total opposite. I was really distant and cold towards her, and she wanted to get married I refused to marry a cheater. I pretty much didn't give a f*uck.

The reason I became like this was her constant lying to me and cheating with men behind my back.

It was a LDR so it was really easy to hide all that sh*t.

If she was the perfect woman, than what you say might have been applicable. But she is not, far from it.

And say that she *was* the perfect woman...what will a woman think if a man takes her back after she has been swinging on other d1cks?

"Oh I can do it anytime and he will take me back!"

F*ck that!

.

 

[Glassguy]

Ignore the above advice.. Once a woman dumps/leaves you... It's pretty much GUARANTEED she will dump your azz again.

You will always be watching your back for the next dumping, which will weaken you're frame.

This times 100000.

Her: I miss you and want you back
Me: (crickets)
Her: (Mindfvcked)

 

[zekko]

But what I was wondering specifically, was why most guys will not take back a woman if she dumped him for or if she dated/f*ucked with another guy.

While he might take her back is she dumped him for her own personal reasons and did not hookup with anyone.

Maybe it's because if she doesn't date anyone after you, it shows that she didn't really get over you, and that other guys pale in comparison to you. But if she did date someone, it just shows that she's fickle.

 

[Trump]

But what I was wondering specifically, was why most guys will not take back a woman if she dumped him

While he might take her back is she dumped him for her own personal reasons

Whats the difference?