Be The Aloof Guy vs The Funny Guy?

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,189
Reaction score
4,946
Which do you think is the best way to present yourself to a chick on a first date?

01.Be aloof, not too chatty, and create mystery?

02.Engage her in interesting conversation, ask lots of questions, make her laugh by being the funny guy?
 

Xenom0rph

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
1,923
Reaction score
2,460
I think "aloofness" is misunderstood.....

.....when a man is focused on his goals, his purpose, his mission, he doesn't have time to deal with womens' bvllsh1t.... He appears ambitious and his ambition is attractive to women....

..... But we men misunderstand this as "oh she's attracted to his aloofness".....

....no she aint bruh..... She's attracted to him because he's focused on his life's purpose....

Ambition = high testosterone = attractive

Aloofness in the absence of ambition just makes a guy look lazy and weak.....women dont like weak men.....
 
Last edited:

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,078
Reaction score
8,931
If you don't engage with her, she may not think there's any chemistry, or think you're boring. I mean at that point, you've already got her on a date, you might as well enjoy yourself. As long as you don't make yourself look weak, needy, or desperate, I think pretty much anything goes. Everything else is up to chance, what she likes, etc. - that's why they say let the chips fall where they may.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,829
Reaction score
2,418
Location
Australia
You have to chat to start with to build some level of comfort. After that u should just keep her talking. If she s rabbiting about something too mind numbing..e.g. her spin classes don't be scared to change topic. Just ignore her yapping and say hey what u said about travelling in Italy was really interesting. She should get the hint.

Maybe I read the game too many times I ve always liked the venue change. Fun way to show leadership. And idk coincidence or not I ve had a lot of lays those nights.

Bit of chat, bit of teasing, bit of KINO, tiny pinch of leadership u should be golden.
 
Last edited:

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Trump

Banned
Joined
Mar 12, 2011
Messages
3,032
Reaction score
1,677
Be the you guy. Your authentic self.
Not sure about that bro.

What if your authentic self is video games, adult entertainment, and dungeons and dragons? She won’t buy any of that.

Like a salesman, you have to find what she is looking for and appeal to that, all the while making a move sexually. If she is serious, you are going to make her laugh? If she asks you some questions, you are going to ignore them to make yourself a “mystery”?

Men have to know their audience and appeal to her until she buys.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,829
Reaction score
2,418
Location
Australia
Agree if you look at the basic format I provided. you keep her talking about herself most of the time, tease when she starts in with the interview questions...and occasionally tell her something personal but she has to work for it.

Effectively you are being engaging but aloof because you aren't letting her interview you and she can see that you get it.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,708
Reaction score
8,661
Age
47
I'm a combination of both. I can certainly be aloof but I am naturally outgoing and talkative.

I'm outgoing and social when with a woman, aloof when not with her if that makes sense
 

EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
1,152
Reaction score
1,884
Age
34
I show up to test and qualify her in a charming playful way. Either she vibes, plays along, proves herself, and we have a bad ass night, or I quit wasting my time.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,103
Reaction score
4,966
Age
33
Location
Eye of the storm
Both ways will be unsuccessful if you act that way in an attempt to seduce a woman. There are also more options than this, on top of that you can both be aloof and funny on the same date.

Nobody has a one sided personality, if you focus on being just one particular way, all you will accomplish is to be weird. Normal people have multifaceted personalities, interesting people have that.

It's common to think you'll come of as too eager if you try to be funny and too cold if you act aloof. That is true, which is why neither is a good option for the entire date. You can crack a few jokes, but by not trying to be funny all the time you seem balanced. You can be aloof for a moment, but by snapping back into the interaction you seem more balanced.

Take a look at women when they take this effect to the extreme on some poor guy who doesn't know better. They're hot and cold, one moment showering you with affection and the next being cold and distant. It manipulates the motivation of a guy from both ends, he desires more affection and less of that silent treatment.

Now I'm not telling you to emulate such extreme contrasts, it's not healthy. However, the principle also works for more moderate behaviors without being destructive.

Don't be one sided, it makes you boring, very easy to read and weird. Just being yourself, flowing with the moment and being unafraid to expose several facets of your personality as it naturally emerges in an interaction is the easiest way. Don't try to emulate this by thinking "now I'll act like A for a bit, then B for a bit, then C for a bit", you can't do it.

Just simply stop thinking about the "right" way to act on a date or what way you think impresses her the most. You do you and you judge HER on whether she's really interesting enough for you or not.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,829
Reaction score
2,418
Location
Australia
Right and while you were sitting back being all judgy she's onto the next bloke who gave her a good time. Chicks are emotional creatures you need to read that page of the book of too.

It's not bad advice it's just not actionable. I worked on stuff but I just worked on one thing per date and let the rest fall as will. Over time your skills just naturally improve until you don't need the training wheels.
 

GrowingPains

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2018
Messages
956
Reaction score
693
Age
28
Why do people on this site enjoy trying to polarize what brings success and what doesn't?

Shouldn't it be obvious by now that "there is no ONE answer. There are good times to be a certain way, and there are bad times to be that way." - Tollo Romassi

There are infinitely many factors, most of which are outside of your control, that decide what is a good vs bad time.
 

cola

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 26, 2009
Messages
2,224
Reaction score
3,056
Location
Baltimore
Not sure about that bro.

What if your authentic self is video games, adult entertainment, and dungeons and dragons? She won’t buy any of that.

Like a salesman, you have to find what she is looking for and appeal to that, all the while making a move sexually. If she is serious, you are going to make her laugh? If she asks you some questions, you are going to ignore them to make yourself a “mystery”?

Men have to know their audience and appeal to her until she buys.
You can be into video games & dungeon and dragons and still get laid, nothing is more alpha than being unapologetically yourself.

I game and watch anime 15 hrs a week easy, but I also go to the gym 6 days a week, I also still dress nice. No woman has ever came over and saw me watching bleach or rurouni kenshin and been turned off, and if she was I honestly wouldn’t give a f*ck. This is what I like to do.

How weak is it to pretend to have a different personality so a woman likes you more? It’s pathetic, and now everytime you are around her you have to put up this front.

I’m starting to think a lot of guys on this forum are really ugly like bottom 20% looks or mildy autistic. “Normal” guys who know nothing about red pill don’t go to these extremes to get laid they just go around women and it happens.
 
Last edited:

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,546
Reaction score
2,244
Location
NYC
Be what works for you, if you're not James Bond trying to be him isn't going to work.

If you aren't tall buff and masculine, trying to play the aloof tough guy is foolish. But by the same vein trying to be charismatic and funny when you're neither won't work either.

Find your niche and stick to it until you can branch out. Youll get whatever girls are attracted to your niche (all niches have more than 0 girls, but obviously some have 10 girls and some have 10,000.)

It's probably easier to get girls by being a good dancer than a charismatic conversationalist, but I'm a hell of a lot better at the latter than the former so it works for me better.
 

sosousage

Banned
Joined
Aug 22, 2017
Messages
3,594
Reaction score
1,235
Age
34
You can be into video games & dungeon and dragons and still get laid, nothing is more alpha than being unapologetically yourself.

I game and watch anime 15 hrs a week easy, but I also go to the gym 6 days a week, I also still dress nice. No woman has ever came over and saw me watching bleach or rurouni kenshin and been turned off, and if she was I honestly wouldn’t give a f*ck. This is what I like to do.

How weak is it to pretend to have a different personality so a woman likes you more? It’s pathetic, and now everytime you are around her you have to put up this front.

I’m starting to think a lot of guys on this forum are really ugly like bottom 20% looks or mildy autistic. “Normal” guys who know nothing about red pill don’t go to these extremes to get laid they just go around women and it happens.
They werent turned off because they didn't know how bad bleach is
 

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,546
Reaction score
2,244
Location
NYC
You can be into video games & dungeon and dragons and still get laid, nothing is more alpha than being unapologetically yourself.

I game and watch anime 15 hrs a week easy, but I also go to the gym 6 days a week, I also still dress nice. No woman has ever came over and saw me watching bleach or rurouni kenshin and been turned off, and if she was I honestly wouldn’t give a f*ck. This is what I like to do.

How weak is it to pretend to have a different personality so a woman likes you more? It’s pathetic, and now everytime you are around her you have to put up this front.

I’m starting to think a lot of guys on this forum are really ugly like bottom 20% looks or mildy autistic. “Normal” guys who know nothing about red pill don’t go to these extremes to get laid they just go around women and it happens.
Girls never like boy stuff but there's literally millions of guys who like sports, comics, anime, video games, wrestling, action movies, etc. So a girl not liking boys who do boy stuff would be foolish because she'd alienate millions of guys and end up with a really feminine guy.

Although I disagree that normal guys just go around women and get laid, most normal guys don't get laid often if they're single but they don't care that much.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
3,737
Reaction score
1,476
Age
27
You can be into video games & dungeon and dragons and still get laid, nothing is more alpha than being unapologetically yourself.

I game and watch anime 15 hrs a week easy, but I also go to the gym 6 days a week, I also still dress nice. No woman has ever came over and saw me watching bleach or rurouni kenshin and been turned off, and if she was I honestly wouldn’t give a f*ck. This is what I like to do.

How weak is it to pretend to have a different personality so a woman likes you more? It’s pathetic, and now everytime you are around her you have to put up this front.

I’m starting to think a lot of guys on this forum are really ugly like bottom 20% looks or mildy autistic. “Normal” guys who know nothing about red pill don’t go to these extremes to get laid they just go around women and it happens.
Off topic but Bleach is great. Just gotta skip the failure
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Top