Girl is hating on me explicitly.

[Pajeet Singh]

I might be reading too much or not but signs are very strong that implies she is hating on me.
Long story short, I and this young married girl get along. I was her leisure for tea, bunking meeting or anything. Then I got entitled and
ask couple of sexual question and she got the feeling that I was only for her *****. This made her angry(If she was attracted then why though?)
Anyway now she is like "leave me alone", "I need time". Whenever there is a team lunch she would deliberately not mention my name in the list. In office she
would leave her seat and sit in quite room instead of sitting next to me where her seat is. All the ignoring she is doing are deliberate. The thing I am worried about is from being a leisure she has started treating me as something to get away from.

Is there any way I get her back? What can I do?

 

[logicallefty]

I'm one on this forum who is cautious but optimistic when feasible. In your case, I see no way to be optimistic. Your only choice at this point is to ignore her and pretend like she doesn't exist. If she talks to you in a professional context, give as short and precise answers as you can in order to keep peace and keep your job. Otherwise, pretend like she doesn't exist. This screams bad news to me all the way around because of the married part, the work part, and the way you say she is acting.

 

[Pajeet Singh]

I'm one on this forum who is cautious but optimistic when feasible. In your case, I see no way to be optimistic. Your only choice at this point is to ignore her and pretend like she doesn't exist. If she talks to you in a professional context, give as short and precise answers as you can in order to keep peace and keep your job. Otherwise, pretend like she doesn't exist. This screams bad news to me all the way around because of the married part, the work part, and the way you say she is acting.

Thanks for the reply! I want to get her back though. One of my friend said she has more pressure on her because of marriage and one kid she has. She was doing all those meet-ups while you were just flirting and now since you have become more serious she is fearing the consequences of hurting her family; which she told me verbally that she can't hurt her family. I am soon starting my own business which will make me rich among my colleagues. I want to marry her. Is it a good path to get rich and ask for marriage?

 

[bmp2cpm]

Your focus is all wrong.

Woman are attracted to men who lead and who focus on obtaining resources. Giving too much focus to a woman keeps you from doing what attracts you to them.

Change your focus and you will no longer feel like a married woman at work with a child is your best and only option.

Also, ignore everything women tell you always, even your own mother. Only pay attention to their actions. Actions tell you everything you need to know.

 

[Epic Days]

You wrecked the unspoken arrangement. She is actually fearful that you will wreck her marriage.

 

[MrWood]

@Pajeet Singh - How would you feel if a guy kept sexually speaking and bugging your wife, especially after she rejected the jerk trying to pick her up?

She rejected you, good for her. If you keep bugging she will tell her husband to go kick your ass.

hint: leave her alone

 

[Pajeet Singh]

I will keep my focus positive, work on my side business and when I make it propose her to marry me. All of these because she was the one who started this all talking about her husband cheating on her or not but she had a mental doubt and going through insecurities and what not.

 

[logicallefty]

I will keep my focus positive, work on my side business and when I make it propose her to marry me. All of these because she was the one who started this all talking about her husband cheating on her or not but she had a mental doubt and going through insecurities and what not.

"Propose her to marry me" Whaaat?? I think I will re-read this later when I have had more coffee today. Surely that's not what you just said.

 

[MrWood]

Bro, you are 27yo. Its time to find a girl for you, not another mans woman... This woman is married, regardless of her perceived and unproven infidelity. All women at some point think their husband is cheating.

I understand you are from a different culture and know it, I spent over a year in India.
Go away from this woman or bad things will befall you. Think of your family and your safety.

She said NO and has made every effort to distance herself from you both physically and literally.
If you continue the authorities will become involved.

Listen to us, to those whom you reached out for help and guidance

 

[Kotaix]

Leave her alone, you tried and you failed. Learn what you can from it and move on. Ignore her existence as she ignores yours, she should be nothing more than a friend at best and you're asking for trouble going after her.

 

[Pajeet Singh]

Ok so all of you are saying me to leave her alone. I still love her. Giving up on love is not hard. What can I do to forget her? I still see her as valuable. I cannot think of any way to see her as useless. What kind of mindset should I develop. I will repeat that thought and may be in long time I will see her valueless and stop loving her?

 

[Smok1nAce]

It sounds like she to weak minded to be in your presence.

Im not sure what "leisure" is but if she a married women and she looks for leisure time in another man, she ether sucks at married life or she playing games.

So you two where "partners" on occasions?
Im not sure whats going on or how the conversation turned sexual. Was she was actively seeking you out for partner activities at work? It sound to me like she was looking for mr. beta to hear her problems/stoke her ego as a friend while playing office politics and you naturally stepped into "don juan" mode.

If im correct in my assumption you played your part perfectly. She wanted non sexual attention from you and you know better. Maybe she's newly married and has yet to learn the facts of life, idk its irreverent to you, but yep she proley is scared that she cant have her cake and eat it to.

Yeah I would agree she is a hater and salty.



edit.
Your i luv give me a break. your a troll.

 

[MrWood]

What kind of mindset should I develop.

Stop playing with a married woman. Your current mindset is rape filled and borders on stalking.


You mistook her kindness as attraction and took advantage of her confidence to talk to someone about a problem in her life. Its not easy for a woman in your culture to confide in a friend about her concerns and worries in her life, so she chose you, a coworker not connected to her social/family circle.
You have seriously misjudged the situation, Sir.

Take off the rape goggles and respect her wishes to LEAVE HER ALONE

If you need advice, go ask your family about how a MARRIED woman EXPLICITLY REJECTED your SEXUAL advances.
Good for her, she is doing the right thing telling you to LEAVE HER ALONE
Or, go ask her husband.

 

[Pajeet Singh]

It sounds like she to weak minded to be in your presence.

Im not sure what "leisure" is but if she a married women and she looks for leisure time in another man, she ether sucks at married life or she playing games.

So you two where "partners" on occasions?
Im not sure whats going on or how the conversation turned sexual. Was she was actively seeking you out for partner activities at work? It sound to me like she was looking for mr. beta to hear her problems/stoke her ego as a friend while playing office politics and you naturally stepped into "don juan" mode.

If im correct in my assumption you played your part perfectly. She wanted non sexual attention from you and you know better. Maybe she's newly married and has yet to learn the facts of life, idk its irreverent to you, but yep she proley is scared that she cant have her cake and eat it to.

Yeah I would agree she is a hater and salty.



edit.
Your i luv give me a break. your a troll.

By "sexual" I meant I started talking about sex. I said like I am lonely and focusing on work and have become selfish and narcissist, only thing I want from a girl right not is to talk about sex and money. Then I started talking more about sex like morality of extra-marital affairs and would she do it. Then it went downhill from there. I kept asking hard question. In one side I was liking these conversation because she was freely telling me how she felt. I was looking for that one answer that she would like to have sex but doesn't want to because she is married. Mostly these. I wanted to understand why would she do that. Came to me and talked secrets about her life and if she did so what is stopping her from telling all the things.

Also I feel that she wanted to get loved because her husband probably didn't care too much at home or his care was outdated. She really used to get happy when I tell her that how beautiful she is looking. But instead of giving her love I started demanded something in back. Those were secrets, sex talks and trying to understand how she felt about these things.

I was trying to rationalise this. If I am giving you love and good day feelings then how are you still giving sex to your husband. I asked if she was having sex with her husband even though she is feeling love with me. This question pissed her off. May be too direct but rational question. What is the reason she is again and again talking to me. I was getting frustrated. Not that I wanted sex. I wanted to know why the **** we were having any conversation at all about anything other than work. I am just not capable of friendship with girls and made it clear. I told her many times but if she was having sex with her husband while still talking to me pissed her off.

 

[Alvafe]

nice way to break some rules for his own wellbeings

if you don't have, put this in rules for your life

don't waste time with married woman, there is single woman around who will give what you want faster

never date a cheater, if she cheated, why you belive she won't do it with you?(yes you are special snowflake, is still no)

never play where you work, the way things are today, the simple fact of one woman start to be jealous of other woman or for you no giving her the same atencion, can amke you lose your job

stop caring about others, you do what you need to do, just keep being civil and polite

if people don't want you around you sure as hell you don't want then, you time is finite, if people don't want you around good, they are weeding thenselfs out for your benefit

 

[jaymbrs]

What did I just read?

 

[Epic Days]

nice way to break some rules for his own wellbeings

if you don't have, put this in rules for your life

don't waste time with married woman, there is single woman around who will give what you want faster

never date a cheater, if she cheated, why you belive she won't do it with you?(yes you are special snowflake, is still no)

never play where you work, the way things are today, the simple fact of one woman start to be jealous of other woman or for you no giving her the same atencion, can amke you lose your job

stop caring about others, you do what you need to do, just keep being civil and polite

if people don't want you around you sure as hell you don't want then, you time is finite, if people don't want you around good, they are weeding thenselfs out for your benefit

This only applies to men who have to have a girlfriend or a wife. Girlfriends are not married and are open for intimacy. I would never pay attention to what a woman says about her boyfriend. It’s not real. He’s just the one she goes back to, to warm her feet up with and let her cooter cool off.

 

[Epic Days]

By "sexual" I meant I started talking about sex. I said like I am lonely and focusing on work and have become selfish and narcissist, only thing I want from a girl right not is to talk about sex and money. Then I started talking more about sex like morality of extra-marital affairs and would she do it. Then it went downhill from there. I kept asking hard question. In one side I was liking these conversation because she was freely telling me how she felt. I was looking for that one answer that she would like to have sex but doesn't want to because she is married. Mostly these. I wanted to understand why would she do that. Came to me and talked secrets about her life and if she did so what is stopping her from telling all the things.

Also I feel that she wanted to get loved because her husband probably didn't care too much at home or his care was outdated. She really used to get happy when I tell her that how beautiful she is looking. But instead of giving her love I started demanded something in back. Those were secrets, sex talks and trying to understand how she felt about these things.

I was trying to rationalise this. If I am giving you love and good day feelings then how are you still giving sex to your husband. I asked if she was having sex with her husband even though she is feeling love with me. This question pissed her off. May be too direct but rational question. What is the reason she is again and again talking to me. I was getting frustrated. Not that I wanted sex. I wanted to know why the **** we were having any conversation at all about anything other than work. I am just not capable of friendship with girls and made it clear. I told her many times but if she was having sex with her husband while still talking to me pissed her off.

You’re in for a world of hurt my friend. Go forth to the grinder.

 

[Pajeet Singh]

What did I just read?

why is master don juan surprised? I did what PUAs would do in fields. Ask for it and expect honest answer. Yes or no. I did it in office environment because well it was in office. After couple of 1 hour long tea sessions in office hours I was frustrated to where this was going. Buy instead of one shot i asked her in series of sessions that of she wants to come with me leaving her husband.

 

[Pajeet Singh]

She is married. What is wrong with you?

I don't believe in pump and dump. I believe intimacy is a major waste but it is still required. If one doesn't get it, his other works might get blocked, delayed or even forgotten. Married or not, if one is in good health and likes you I am down for fixing this "intimacy" thing and focus on work. Although I don't suck at attracting girls, I just don't care about it now that my goal is becoming successful.