I couldn't have said it better.
To add my own spin, this is why I'm always preaching to hold them accountable and judge their behavior, and call them out on it. Forget about this "Don't appear butt hurt" nonsense. That attitude is the attitude that perpetuates their bratty, entitled and sneaky behavior.
Call them out! When you do, you're not displaying that you are weak and hurt. Rather, you are conveying that you have standards and you have absolutely no qualms about standing by your standards and rejecting women for not meeting them.
I wish this community would let go of this "Don't let her know she got to you" attitude. This is the very oil in the machine that continues to churn out women's outrageous and immoral behavior. You don't need to appear hurt. You need to calmly and in a detached way let her know that you will not have this in your life, so "Sayonara".
Be a man of standards and rules, and watch how women start to respect you and watch how they don't dare to pull this kind of crap.
by walking or withdrawing attention you're indirectly telling her something is wrong. if she is interested she'll ask, if she's not you've saved precious time and energy. you're right there's nothing wrong with stating your terms directly, but a lot of times this falls on deaf ears. manipulative women also try to twist any direct statements back against you or play along but repeat their misbehavior at the next chance. an attempt at indirect subversion requires indirect dismissal.
a manipulative woman may say she wants to hang out but then never offers details and never accepts your offers. if you tell her directly that you don't appreciate being led on and that it seems she really doesn't want to hang out then you're playing into her hand. she will respond with frustration in your impatience and lack of understanding of her 'busy' schedule. it's much better to simply tell her to 'be in touch' as CW says or otherwise put the onus on her to prove interest by means of legwork.
being direct makes sense you have a steady gf but even then being indirect can be much more powerful.
in the case of OP i would not escalate unless she drops an obvious hint, and then only subtly.
Me: Enjoy yourself?
Her: It's hard. Are you home yet?"
Me: Yes, I am. What do you mean?
Me: Yep, unwinding for the night. (no question, dead end statement, let her make it obvious if she wants to come over)
Her: Always end up arguing with the guy I'm dating over him not being further along with his divorce.
Me: Whatever
She's talking about other dating other guys, instant turn off for me, no response. The only way she'll receive more attention is by being respectful and sweet(she doesn't need to apologize, my feelings aren't hurt, i've simply lost interest). the only way she'll get in my bed is by dropping an obvious hint that pretty much asked me if i want her to come over and fuuck my brains out. my response is a playful and non-nonchalant yes if i feel like it.
@gettinit
here's a recent text exchange that might shed give some insight. this is almost 4 months of NC after one bang with her followed by her trying to cuck me and me not engaging unless it was a direct question(indirectly communicating disinterest). for context she's constantly getting marriage proposals and has a high paying job. male attention comes to her extremely easily, she has to fight guys off with a stick. as i said she's also very smart and tries to cuck men to squeeze all utility out of them.
HER: Prize hi! how are things? have you stopped playing? (she's referring to a league i played on where i met her)
ME(2 days later): hey Jess
things are well, vacationing in cali at the moment. yea i stopped playing because my shoulders were getting irritated by my bad form. i stick to yoga now.
HER(24 hours later): oh good for you! i tried yoga a couple times. sorry about your shoulder tho, you were getting better
i saw potential
ME(1 hour later): ha thanks, my shoulders are already messed up from playing heavy sports for 15 years so i have to be careful. maybe when bionic arms get cheaper
HER(2 days later): we should catch up sometime
ME(28 hours later): let's do it!
HER(20 hours later): yea, when are you back?
ME(30 min later): i got back this morning.
HER(1 min later): welcome back
HER(1.5 hours later): let's hang out soon.
HER(30 min later): come to the venue, we reserved a table
ME(12 hours later): i went to bed pretty early last night, sorry about that. i'm retired from that game for now heh
HER(1 hour later): ah sad to hear
HER(30 min later): so you're serious about quitting?
ME(3 hours later): yea i don't play at all anymore. we can do something else though. maybe a new sport so we can learn together and you don't beat me all the time
HER(2 hours later): hah how about rock climbing? i've been wanting to try.
ME(5 hours later): that's hard on my old man body too lol maybe yoga?
HER(20 min later): lol i can do yoga
ME(20 hours later): how about my living room this weekend? there's some youtube videos that kick my ass lol
HER(1.5 hours later): haha home yoga. i'll be in CA this week tho
HER(two weeks later): hey are you around? what are you doing tonight?
HER(20 min later): Prize?
ME(1 min later): hey! i'm heading out early tomorrow on a snowboarding trip so i'm crashing early heh.
HER(2 min later): ah ok
HER(3 min alter): nothing too crazy but been crazy horny so figured would text you ;P
ME(10 min later): ha! i mean you an take a lyft over here and get your fill, i won't stop you
HER(1 min later): how early do you leave?
ME(2 min later): getting picked up at 6am
HER(5 min later): wow early
HER(1 hour later): where do you live again?
ME(5 min later): *my address*
ME(10 min later): crashing soon. call if you're coming by otherwise i won't wake up
HER(9 min later): 20 min? will you be awake? i'll call an uber now.
i didn't see this message and she called shortly after. she came over, we banged, she spent the night, we banged again before i left. i could probably get her head over heels in love by teasing her further when she came over, but i wanted some sleep and got straight to the sex.
this women tests more than most i've talked to but look at the timestamps. multiple times she said something that didn't need a response so i didn't give one. sometimes i forgot to respond then remembered the next day and kept it playful. even an hour before coming over she was testing me to see if i'd desperately chase her. never show desperation, always come from a mindset of not caring about outcome and not being phased. if she's pleasant, you're pleasant. if she stops, you stop. if she escalates, you escalate slightly. if she pulls back again so do you. this indirect push and pull gets her worked up. even in bed if you tease a woman she will absolutely lose her mind and find so much satisfaction in the eventual sex. the sex is enjoyable for a woman but so is the build up to it. they want to feel your masculine energy the entire time. they want to try and enforce a system only to have it fail miserably in the presence of yours. they want their system to fail so badly it's crazy. that's how you get women to fall in love with you, by not trying to, by not compromising. i don't chase because there are girls that make things very easy for me, girls that i don't have to chase.
i admit i probably leave pusssy on the table by not desperately pursuing, but i prefer to keep my dignity these days, and i've learned that i enjoy teasing them just as much as i enjoy fuucking them, if not more. your goals may be different but take from this what you can.
