Books on Socializing

[Who Dares Win]

Most of socializing depends on your look and your inner game, I would rather be a good looking self confident guy with no knowledge than an average looking guy full of doubts who read all the marketing books available.

Sure you need some guidelines and need to read many situations, but the same exact setting show itself differently according to who is facing it.

 

[user43770]

Learning how to socialize by reading a book is kind of like learning how to swim by reading a book. It's not going to work.

Not related in the slightest sense

 

[user43770]

Most of socializing depends on your look and your inner game, I would rather be a good looking self confident guy with no knowledge than an average looking guy full of doubts who read all the marketing books available.

Sure you need some guidelines and need to read many situations, but the same exact setting show itself differently according to who is facing it.

Obviously, it would be great to have been dealt a better hand. Doesn't mean a guy should call it quits.

You CAN learn how to socialize from reading a book. That's the point of game. You learn how to interact with people.

I'm sure you've met men that were smooth talkers that you couldn't help but like. I know I have. That's game.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Obviously, it would be great to have been dealt a better hand. Doesn't mean a guy should call it quits.

You CAN learn how to socialize from reading a book. That's the point of game. You learn how to interact with people.

I'm sure you've met men that were smooth talkers that you couldn't help but like. I know I have. That's game.

I'm an average guy with amazing social skills, I dont complain from the results I get both in terms of work and women yet I see goodlooking guys with a better upbringing than mine yet with average to low social skills getting as much as I am.

My post wasnt and invited to let it go but simply a statement, where there is a change to improve looks it will help even in further fields, basically anything socially related.

For many guys 3 months at the gym, a better haircut and better clothes would pay more rewards than reading books in that same time span, not that books wouldnt help ofc, best thing would be doing everything.

 

[user43770]

For many guys 3 months at the gym, a better haircut and better clothes would pay more rewards than reading books in that same time span, not that books wouldnt help ofc, best thing would be doing everything.

I disagree.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a game changer for most people. It was for me.

Most people only care about their own sh1tty life, and that's all they care to talk about. It never crosses their mind that the other person doesn't give a sh1t, and only wants to talk about THEIR sh1tty life

 

[user43770]

Working out, getting big and strong? Takes years.

Learning how to talk to people takes weeks to months.

They don't compare.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I disagree.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a game changer for most people. It was for me.

Most people only care about their own sh1tty life, and that's all they care to talk about. It never crosses their mind that the other person doesn't give a sh1t, and only wants to talk about THEIR sh1tty life

Yeah I read that book last year. I'd heard about it since 1992 when I first picked up Anthony Robbins' "Awaken the Giant Within" and "Personal Power." I made a speech on the former and my classmates thought my mom had written my speech cause it didn't sound like me at all, but that got the ball rollin as far as internalizing success info. The book "Self Help" was written in the mid-1800s around the time of Darwin and the author of it competed with Darwin in social engineering discussions/debates. Darwin was a Utilitarian.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is the fundamentals that people don't remind themselves of over and over. We lose track.

 

[Xenom0rph]

If you've set your mind on books, then I would suggest Robert Greene's The Art of Seduction..... "Seduction" in this book's context isnt limited to s3xual seduction, Greene emphasizes that seduction is a form of manipulation and social engineering to get others to do what you want. Example: the way politicians use seduction and charisma to manipulate the masses....

You can find the audiobook on youtube... I used to listen to chapters of it at the gym during cardio sessions...

 

[user43770]

If you've set your mind on books, then I would suggest Robert Greene's The Art of Seduction..... "Seduction" in this book's context isnt limited to s3xual seduction, Greene emphasizes that seduction is a form of manipulation and social engineering to get others to do what you want. Example: the way politicians use seduction and charisma to manipulate the masses....

You can find the audiobook on youtube... I used to listen to chapters of it at the gym during cardio sessions...

Might as well get the classic, The 48 Laws of Power.

 

[user43770]

Yeah I read that book last year. I'd heard about it since 1992 when I first picked up Anthony Robbins' "Awaken the Giant Within" and "Personal Power." I made a speech on the former and my classmates thought my mom had written my speech cause it didn't sound like me at all, but that got the ball rollin as far as internalizing success info. The book "Self Help" was written in the mid-1800s around the time of Darwin and the author of it competed with Darwin in social engineering discussions/debates. Darwin was a Utilitarian.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is the fundamentals that people don't remind themselves of over and over. We lose track.

Psycho-Cybernetics: Updated and Expanded: Maltz, Maxwell: 9780399176135: Amazon.com: Books

Psycho-Cybernetics: Updated and Expanded [Maltz, Maxwell] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Psycho-Cybernetics: Updated and Expanded

www.amazon.com

Another old one that goes under the radar.

 

[Stephen89]

How to talk to anyone by Leil lowndes.

How to make people like you in 90 seconds.

The art of charm.

The best thing is go out there and learn from others and start slowly, make some small talk about anything and get yourself out there.

 

[Stephen89]

Also make eye contact with people and say hi/hello.

Then after chat about something relevant or the weather or something.

 

[XThrax]

I've read "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Worth a reread. But do you guys have any book recommendations on becoming a really social, outgoing dude? Way of the Superior Man comes to mind, but that's already on my list.

One trick I learned is to steer conversations into your fields of expertise. For example I like and have a lot of experience with travel. So I might ask some one where they are from and if they say US then I say what about your ancestors until I find a country outside if the united states, then thread the convo into travel.

 

[BeTheChange]

That's the only book you need.

Get out and get a couple months of practice.

Then re-read it.

Then get out and get a couple more months practice.

Then re-read it.

This cycle will teach more than any collection of books you could ever read in one lifetime.

Stay away from YouTube, it tricks your subconscious into thinking you're having an actual conversation with a human, which will decrease your desire to get out and have real conversations with real people.

Social media creates MASSIVE moral hazard.

Stay way at all costs.

More than the bare bones necessities (reading and studying more than you need) is a waste of time and a trick to put off the pain of social exposure and rejection.

Humans have been social and have been capable of making more people LONG before even writing was invented.

Nobody has invented anything new regarding social interactions since then.

Just a bunch of goofs profiting from people who'd rather stay safely inside than get out and get some.

EDIT: If you really want to apply Carnegie, take one of their twelve week public speaking courses. This will obliterate any social anxieties you have. It ain't cheap, but you get what you pay for.

Would you say it's the only book you need for cold approaches as well?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Would you say it's the only book you need for cold approaches as well?

That plus enough resilience to keep approaching, and keep getting more confident.

The principles in there are pretty basic.

Talking to people, getting to know people, having sex with people is deeply inherent.

You don't need to read a book to learn how to do something that is instinctive.

 

[nicksaiz65]

That plus enough resilience to keep approaching, and keep getting more confident.

The principles in there are pretty basic.

Talking to people, getting to know people, having sex with people is deeply inherent.

You don't need to read a book to learn how to do something that is instinctive.

Commonalities for sure but I wouldn't call a Cold Approach instinctive lol

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Commonalities for sure but I wouldn't call a Cold Approach instinctive lol

Yes, they are.

Walking up to another human, introducing yourself and saying, "hey," is instinctive.

Guys have been chasing girls since the dawn of time,

For 99,999999% of human history, the only way to get some was through a cold approach.

Walk up to a girl you don't know, introduce yourself, and get the ball rolling.

Thinking you need some specialized training to do that is a self con to stay longer on the sidelines.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Yes, they are.

Walking up to another human, introducing yourself and saying, "hey," is instinctive.

Guys have been chasing girls since the dawn of time,

For 99,999999% of human history, the only way to get some was through a cold approach.

Walk up to a girl you don't know, introduce yourself, and get the ball rolling.

Thinking you need some specialized training to do that is a self con to stay longer on the sidelines.

Yeah don't get me wrong, I definitely Approach. They say that reading books on stuff like that doesn't actually change you, it just brings out what's already there.

 

[CoolDevil]

I’ve heard of parallel reading multiple books at once. How do you go about that?

I currently only read one book at a time, but I’m trying to bookmaxx and read much more.

I'm currently reading 6 books. Just finished one yesterday, to be replaced by a second volume, and two more are near done.

Not bragging. The point I want to bring up is that I think it's good for the mind to switch subjects. My concentration relates differently to different topics. The mix for me are currently books about personal development, auto-immune diseases, science/economics, seduction, and power. A really enriching blend. Some of them are in total juxtapose to one another in terms of values, but I like to think about the contradictions of each of them in relation to others.

I don't read them all at once in one sitting. I switch them up starting in the morning throughout the day. I used to be only a one book at a time guy, but I really started liking to switch it up. I have read as little as 3 of these 6 in a day, and as much as all 6 in a day though the day.

I read for about half an hour to an hour, then I put it down to deliberately reflect on what I read. I think it's just as important to think about what you've read afterwards as the initial reading itself. If you really wanna get in depth, take notes. I don't take notes, but I think it would be helpful to absorb more material.

If we're talking about reading books to socialize, I think some of them can be good. I have read them during the day and gone out at night to put ideas into practice socializing for real.

 

[Poonani Maker]

^^ also, reading just stories or fiction or plays, books that could be made into movies one day (but never do cause THEY don't want that mindset or mentality to leach out into the public mind) puts you into the mind or situation(s) of the character(s) you're visualizing and what they say and do and you can implement that sequence of events into your interactions with women and she won't know what hit them/her. I remember what you visualized and that visualization is unique to Your mind and may be terribly separate from what the author envisioned or was trying to convey, but it's yours and you can become the character you visualize to interact with women based on a character you've read and branch off from it. Long-term this may not work but for short-term lays, yes. You're building pathways when you read. No one has the same pathways internalized. We're all different, unless we Don't read.