That's it! it's finally over...

[SgtSplacker]

Been off the forum for a while because I meet a girl and tied the knot. At the beginning it was awesome... she was pregnant, she was sexy and young, she had a high libido, she was kinky, we shared common interests. I was finally going to start a family, it was awesome. Then the paranoia started. Over and over again I was accused of cheating. Every time it was an explosive event where since I was supposedly a "cheater" I then deserved no respect or consideration. We split, aborted, I kicked her out, we reconciled, she moved back in, split over and over again the same thing. The whole time I was torn between being a quitter or a pushover, I still do not know which path holds the most virtue till this day. My name was slandered to family and friends, special events ruined, the police called multiple times, I had an assault rifle pointed at me on my birthday. All because I was supposedly some kind of evil womanizer.

Over and over again I had to prove my innocence. Showing her security footage, calling strange numbers on speaker to act like I knew a girl so she could see the girl really did not know me "hey it's me Sgt, how's it going? you don't know who I am? Hey! it's me! Ops, I must have a wrong number sorry"... lol. I tried to make it work over and over again, just to see it break over and over again. I think the only bad thing I really did to her was to physically push her away from me on one occasion, she came at me screaming and just caught me at the wrong time. I was mourning the death of my father so I was emotionally unstable that night and sincerely made a mistake I regretted. She hit the floor hard, I apologized and left the house to sleep at my sisters for the night. What torment. And of course like any woman she took absolutely no accountability for her actions. Even after proving my innocence it was always my fault in the end, always that lingering suspicion that prevented a full apology and reconciliation. I was always good to her, except for that one time.

This last week another accusation of cheating. It's crazy to just sit there while a person is screaming at you 110% sure you did something that you just.. didn't.. do. After having to defend myself so many times I just sat there with a feeling of resignation, I felt so defeated. It was 3AM and she woke me up screaming, I just didn't have the will to defend myself yet another time. I felt she took it as a feeling of guilt and admission rather than resignation and defeat. Emotional states that feel very similar oddly enough, opposite yet the same. It's crazy but I actually did feel guilty in a way. What a strange thing the human mind is. It's true someone can sit there and repeat something to you and you will actually start to kinda believe it. It just starts to sink in. As she walked out the door for the last time her last words were "your dead to me" I just looked at her and shook my head. At this point I had already moved her out, ready to file for divorce. I was just trying to give things another chance. Always trying to make the best of a bad situation, I accepted her anger and accusations as a tool to keep her away from me. I accepted what was happening. I accepted that my marriage was over. Good riddance.

I am honestly sharing this as an outlet for my emotions, I also hope it can serve someone and help them avoid the same. Don't ignore those red flags as I did. Don't skip the proper vetting of a female before letting her into your life and home. Daddy issues are bad, m-kay. Don't let yourself be rushed and manipulated. Always maintain your social life from day one, even if you have to lie and say you are going to your friends house or out with them and really just go sit in a parking lot by yourself to read or something, always create that space from the very first day. Women are nothing to be pedestaled. Listen to what your woman is talking about, rather than what she is saying to really understand her motivations and interests. Stay away from women that see shrinks, they can hide their true feelings but they can't hide those visits to the shrink forever. And never ever be afraid to walk away, always be ready to just turn around and walk away right up until the moment that ring goes on her finger keep your bags packed and ready to go. Maybe even after that too lol.

 

[Epic Days]

So why does someone accuse the other of the things they’ve done? A first year criminologist learns this.

Funny how we forget that. You should have exposed her infidelity.

 

[Hal9000]

I lived through something similar myself which is why I always tell guys on here that once they start seeing those kinds of behaviors they need to run. It only gets worse as they get older and fatter and feel threatened by every female on the planet.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It sounds like bpd to me. Part of the disorder is the need to push away the man they love, then draw him back and repeat the cycle. I'm sure she told you all about how you are THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD, right? I've been there.

 

[Young OG]

Been off the forum for a while because I meet a girl and tied the knot. At the beginning it was awesome... she was pregnant, she was sexy and young, she had a high libido, she was kinky, we shared common interests. I was finally going to start a family, it was awesome. Then the paranoia started. Over and over again I was accused of cheating. Every time it was an explosive event where since I was supposedly a "cheater" I then deserved no respect or consideration. We split, aborted, I kicked her out, we reconciled, she moved back in, split over and over again the same thing. The whole time I was torn between being a quitter or a pushover, I still do not know which path holds the most virtue till this day. My name was slandered to family and friends, special events ruined, the police called multiple times, I had an assault rifle pointed at me on my birthday. All because I was supposedly some kind of evil womanizer.

Over and over again I had to prove my innocence. Showing her security footage, calling strange numbers on speaker to act like I knew a girl so she could see the girl really did not know me "hey it's me Sgt, how's it going? you don't know who I am? Hey! it's me! Ops, I must have a wrong number sorry"... lol. I tried to make it work over and over again, just to see it break over and over again. I think the only bad thing I really did to her was to physically push her away from me on one occasion, she came at me screaming and just caught me at the wrong time. I was mourning the death of my father so I was emotionally unstable that night and sincerely made a mistake I regretted. She hit the floor hard, I apologized and left the house to sleep at my sisters for the night. What torment. And of course like any woman she took absolutely no accountability for her actions. Even after proving my innocence it was always my fault in the end, always that lingering suspicion that prevented a full apology and reconciliation. I was always good to her, except for that one time.

This last week another accusation of cheating. It's crazy to just sit there while a person is screaming at you 110% sure you did something that you just.. didn't.. do. After having to defend myself so many times I just sat there with a feeling of resignation, I felt so defeated. It was 3AM and she woke me up screaming, I just didn't have the will to defend myself yet another time. I felt she took it as a feeling of guilt and admission rather than resignation and defeat. Emotional states that feel very similar oddly enough, opposite yet the same. It's crazy but I actually did feel guilty in a way. What a strange thing the human mind is. It's true someone can sit there and repeat something to you and you will actually start to kinda believe it. It just starts to sink in. As she walked out the door for the last time her last words were "your dead to me" I just looked at her and shook my head. At this point I had already moved her out, ready to file for divorce. I was just trying to give things another chance. Always trying to make the best of a bad situation, I accepted her anger and accusations as a tool to keep her away from me. I accepted what was happening. I accepted that my marriage was over. Good riddance.

I am honestly sharing this as an outlet for my emotions, I also hope it can serve someone and help them avoid the same. Don't ignore those red flags as I did. Don't skip the proper vetting of a female before letting her into your life and home. Daddy issues are bad, m-kay. Don't let yourself be rushed and manipulated. Always maintain your social life from day one, even if you have to lie and say you are going to your friends house or out with them and really just go sit in a parking lot by yourself to read or something, always create that space from the very first day. Women are nothing to be pedestaled. Listen to what your woman is talking about, rather than what she is saying to really understand her motivations and interests. Stay away from women that see shrinks, they can hide their true feelings but they can't hide those visits to the shrink forever. And never ever be afraid to walk away, always be ready to just turn around and walk away right up until the moment that ring goes on her finger keep your bags packed and ready to go. Maybe even after that too lol.

I was on and off with a girl for the last 2 yrs. She would get mad really easily about stupid things. I would sometimes feel like I couldn't ever say or do anything right. I kept going back with her thinking things would work out.

Just feel happy that your liberated and free now. You made some mistakes but that's not your fault. We all make them. It's time to move on and live your life. Someday you will look back at this and laugh about how crazy this girl was.

 

[AttackFormation]

If you are codependent, and you don't deal with it, it may well "deal" with you sooner or later by attracting a cluster B woman like this who is drawn to you like moth to flame. You attract women on your own wavelength or function or dysfunction. Without selfrespect you were already a dead corpse that just hadn't fully decayed yet, the BPD you inevitably attracted because of that was just the detective who looks for dead people like you.

Common sense ... an internal compass, self respect, boundaries, and dignity.

I still don't think he will really introspect on and internalize these things, because he only talked about extrinsic things in the post-mortem declaring the earth is round. He still didn't say a single sentence about his intrinsic self.

 

[Clamslammer]

Been off the forum for a while because I meet a girl and tied the knot. At the beginning it was awesome... she was pregnant, she was sexy and young, she had a high libido, she was kinky, we shared common interests. I was finally going to start a family, it was awesome. Then the paranoia started. Over and over again I was accused of cheating. Every time it was an explosive event where since I was supposedly a "cheater" I then deserved no respect or consideration. We split, aborted, I kicked her out, we reconciled, she moved back in, split over and over again the same thing. The whole time I was torn between being a quitter or a pushover, I still do not know which path holds the most virtue till this day. My name was slandered to family and friends, special events ruined, the police called multiple times, I had an assault rifle pointed at me on my birthday. All because I was supposedly some kind of evil womanizer.

Over and over again I had to prove my innocence. Showing her security footage, calling strange numbers on speaker to act like I knew a girl so she could see the girl really did not know me "hey it's me Sgt, how's it going? you don't know who I am? Hey! it's me! Ops, I must have a wrong number sorry"... lol. I tried to make it work over and over again, just to see it break over and over again. I think the only bad thing I really did to her was to physically push her away from me on one occasion, she came at me screaming and just caught me at the wrong time. I was mourning the death of my father so I was emotionally unstable that night and sincerely made a mistake I regretted. She hit the floor hard, I apologized and left the house to sleep at my sisters for the night. What torment. And of course like any woman she took absolutely no accountability for her actions. Even after proving my innocence it was always my fault in the end, always that lingering suspicion that prevented a full apology and reconciliation. I was always good to her, except for that one time.

This last week another accusation of cheating. It's crazy to just sit there while a person is screaming at you 110% sure you did something that you just.. didn't.. do. After having to defend myself so many times I just sat there with a feeling of resignation, I felt so defeated. It was 3AM and she woke me up screaming, I just didn't have the will to defend myself yet another time. I felt she took it as a feeling of guilt and admission rather than resignation and defeat. Emotional states that feel very similar oddly enough, opposite yet the same. It's crazy but I actually did feel guilty in a way. What a strange thing the human mind is. It's true someone can sit there and repeat something to you and you will actually start to kinda believe it. It just starts to sink in. As she walked out the door for the last time her last words were "your dead to me" I just looked at her and shook my head. At this point I had already moved her out, ready to file for divorce. I was just trying to give things another chance. Always trying to make the best of a bad situation, I accepted her anger and accusations as a tool to keep her away from me. I accepted what was happening. I accepted that my marriage was over. Good riddance.

I am honestly sharing this as an outlet for my emotions, I also hope it can serve someone and help them avoid the same. Don't ignore those red flags as I did. Don't skip the proper vetting of a female before letting her into your life and home. Daddy issues are bad, m-kay. Don't let yourself be rushed and manipulated. Always maintain your social life from day one, even if you have to lie and say you are going to your friends house or out with them and really just go sit in a parking lot by yourself to read or something, always create that space from the very first day. Women are nothing to be pedestaled. Listen to what your woman is talking about, rather than what she is saying to really understand her motivations and interests. Stay away from women that see shrinks, they can hide their true feelings but they can't hide those visits to the shrink forever. And never ever be afraid to walk away, always be ready to just turn around and walk away right up until the moment that ring goes on her finger keep your bags packed and ready to go. Maybe even after that too lol.

What were the red flags you ignored early on?

 

[ubercat]

Sarge is no fresher. She must have had next level love bombing and manipulation skills.

And sometimes we get tired from the game and want to ignore those red flags. Especially when a man is of an age to want to get his family started.

Really sorry it didn't work out. Sounds like you kept up your end.

 

[AttackFormation]

Really sorry it didn't work out. Sounds like you kept up your end.

This mindset of "keeping up your end" and blaming her for how he allows himself to be treated is just selfpitying. The source of the problem is that he didn't "keep up his end" to himself to begin with, not that she didn't match it.

 

[soulforge]

It sounds like bpd to me. Part of the disorder is the need to push away the man they love, then draw him back and repeat the cycle. I'm sure she told you all about how you are THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD, right? I've been there.

Yeh strrong BDP vibes here.... Even if she wasn't... Its those red flags we cannot afford to ignore.

Some men would commit suicide, under this type of pressure from a toxic relationship.

 

[AttackFormation]

Yeh strrong BDP vibes here.... Even if she wasn't... Its those red flags we cannot afford to ignore.

Some men would commit suicide, under this type of pressure from a toxic relationship.

Those men were already on their way out. People who are mentally healthy and respect themselves don't get involved with, let alone make excuses to stay with, a cluster B. But the drive to externalize your agency on to other people and events is much easier to give in to than accepting you are the main source of your own agency. That's how you get the selfpitying.

 

[soulforge]

Why didn't you separate from her when these things started? If you have been coming here for a while you should know better. You get what you allow in these situations.

One of the most important lessons i ever learned on SS.... You walk away Immediatly as soon as the crazy behaviour comes out.

 

[soulforge]

Those men were already on their way out. People who are mentally healthy and respect themselves don't get involved with, let alone make excuses to stay with, a cluster B. But the drive to externalize your agency on to other people and events is much easier to give in to than accepting you are the main source of your own agency.

I dated a chick with strong bdp indicators recently... She was hot... But i dumped and RAN

 

[Medina]

I don't understand where you guys find these "women"

Most girls I know are push overs

Some get angry yes, but assault rifles? Seriously?

Where on earth do you find them

 

[xplt]

Yeh strrong BDP vibes here.... Even if she wasn't... Its those red flags we cannot afford to ignore.

Some men would commit suicide, under this type of pressure from a toxic relationship.

What my therapist said... „I‘m glad you ended this relationship mr. I‘ve patients who are suicidal after such relationships.“ He knew her, I brought her to a session for communication skills. Useless af...

 

[xplt]

I don't understand where you guys find these "women"

Most girls I know are push overs

Some get angry yes, but assault rifles? Seriously?

Where on earth do you find them

I‘m always pulling the loudest and crasiest girl of a group when I‘m out. Always erratic drama queens. Don‘t ask me why. Something must be wrong with me I think

 

[dude99]

It sounds like bpd to me. Part of the disorder is the need to push away the man they love, then draw him back and repeat the cycle. I'm sure she told you all about how you are THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD, right? I've been there.

Couldnt agree more with your bpd statement.

Lets not forget how she love bombed him in the beginning to get him on the hook ( including getting pregnant then married) typical bpd pattern

It is a recognizable pattern for sure and she showed all the signs.

 

[dude99]

Op talk to your lawyer. See if you can have it annulled instead of divorce. this way you don't reward her bad behaviour even further with half your money and assets you worked for.

Some of these women plan this.

 

[ubercat]

Yeah I think some of you guys are getting a bit over excited with your own filters. If you look at sarge s back posts he s a smart professional self-aware guy who knows what the score is. point I was making is I very much doubt he went back to total AFC in a relationship. He may have back slid but not that far. Yes screening obviously was an issue but as I said anybody can be sucked in because they want to believe.

 

[Epic Days]

To automatically apply “crazy woman” to this type of conduct is an example of piss poor self awareness and lack of intellectual experience and observation.

She has done nothing that I haven’t observed in many cases. Simply put, the desire wained and attraction fell off and she wanted back onto the market to experience a new flood of desire. Basically the chemical high that a woman gets when she is back in desire for a man.

You nerds can apply all the alphabet soup, psychiatric labeled “disorders” that you want but this is basic simple stuff and will happen every single time.
True a woman acted on powerfully will keep her there but the sex will fall off to token sex. If you’re ok with living like an island, power to you.

@stormrider clearly laid it out. Once the desire leaves, you have nothing. You are no longer connected on many levels. There’s your unicorn.

This goofy shyt is endless.