Need suggestion

[FruitLoops]

I have been dating a cougar in her 40s. We meet once a week. However recently she has been cancelling up on me a lot. Like its the third time in a row she has cancelled. I am not the one who makes plans to meet. She does and then something happens. Recently she fell down the stairs and hurt herself. After that she cancelled cause she was sick. This saturday she had a party at her place to celebrate her granddaughters bbirthday, despite the fact she was ill. I wasnt invited to that. I belive cause it was family party, but thats not important. Anyways she made plan to meet up tonight. But this morning she texted me that she cant even breathe and is visiting the doctor and cancelled up on me.
Its getting frustrating for me. I understand most of you will say to let her go. Honestly i cant, not right now. Cause i dont have any other option and i ll be mind ****ed if i did breakup. I am simply looking for ways to handle this situation. Will cancelling up on her make her realise that what she is doing isnt right.

 

[FruitLoops]

Your not fixable or advisable in this mindset. Your in pre panic mode.

So what is the solution in your opinion?

 

[Kotaix]

She's sick, as long as she's not making up sh!t then why are you thinking about this? This problem is in your head, not the real world.

Also, find more plates to spin. Why are you involved with a woman who is 20 years older than you?

 

[teacha]

She’s probably doing that because she knows she has you wrapped around her little finger. I also highly doubt you are the only guy she’s fukking at the moment.

listen, unless you are willing to walk away things ain’t never gonna change. Get used to being toyed around.

 

[Glassguy]

She is a grandma for crying out loud. Go find someone younger who is more fun and also more dependable.

 

[Glassguy]

The proper response would be:

"Alright. Get feeling better and I will reach out later on when I get free again"

Then disappear for a while as you start hitting up new chicks.

 

[FruitLoops]

She is a grandma for crying out loud. Go find someone younger who is more fun and also more dependable.

Look honestly i have tried my best and i am still trying. I talk to other girls. But the problem is i have trouble continuing conversations. In her case well she was interested in me and i had to put least amount of efforts. I am not saying i am not willing to put efforts for younger girls. But i always get shot down. Girl would ghost up on me or would show least amount of interest.

 

[badboyjmm]

Well I understand that dealing with older chicks is way easier, but what's the point if she keep flaking...

Stop being so eager to hangout with her and find yourselves some ladies that appreciate your time a little more. YOU are doing her a favor by dealing with her grandma a$$, not the other way around hehe

 

[backseatjuan]

It's like this. You interact with a woman, and she gives you sex, and checks if you are p*ssy whipped yet. Once you are, she can leave you. Her present behaviour is opposite of nesting but does same thing, she wants you to chase her and want a relationship with her. Only thing is if you do that, you're done. She don't know that, but we know that.

What you should do is take a break.

Don't call her, don't text her, don't visit her online media profiles, don't setup dates for two weeks or more.

Should she call you, answer, if asked where you got lost, ask if she has any suggestions on meeting you.
Should she text you, do not read her text or open up your whatsapp for four hours, then reply.
Should she visit you on social media, do not click on her.

You acting beta, there is routine in your behaviour, every week you meet her. You're too easy to get with. Take two weeks off, take three weeks off.

 

[FruitLoops]

Are you sure she's only 40? Have you checked her DL?

To be honest, i didnt. But i suupose it doesnt matter. I know she is older.
Before you say about me dating younger chicks, let me tell you i am trying to spin plates by finding girl of my age. There is nothing serious about this relation. Its all casual. But when you only have only one woman, her actions make you overthink sometimes.

 

[andreihaha]

The proper response would be:

"Alright. Get feeling better and I will reach out later on when I get free again"

Then disappear for a while as you start hitting up new chicks.

This is exactly what I wanted to suggest.
A "Hope you get better" and that's all.
Hitting up chicks is optional. It does help, for sure, but you should just do whatever else you want/have to do.
Forget about her for now.

 

[lamath]

Not sure its intentional or not from her side but best thing to do imo is to let her sit for awhile.

Silemce and distance.

 

[Glassguy]

Look honestly i have tried my best and i am still trying. I talk to other girls. But the problem is i have trouble continuing conversations. In her case well she was interested in me and i had to put least amount of efforts. I am not saying i am not willing to put efforts for younger girls. But i always get shot down. Girl would ghost up on me or would show least amount of interest.

Then keep doing what you are doing and continue to get the same sh!tty results from the same sh!tty woman.

My work is done here.

 

[Tilex]

Get rid of her!
She's looking for any reason to avoid you.

I'll bet you anything she's married.
This is exactly how married women sample the water in the dating market act.

 

[dude99]

I have been dating a cougar in her 40s. We meet once a week. However recently she has been cancelling up on me a lot. Like its the third time in a row she has cancelled. I am not the one who makes plans to meet. She does and then something happens. Recently she fell down the stairs and hurt herself. After that she cancelled cause she was sick. This saturday she had a party at her place to celebrate her granddaughters bbirthday, despite the fact she was ill. I wasnt invited to that. I belive cause it was family party, but thats not important. Anyways she made plan to meet up tonight. But this morning she texted me that she cant even breathe and is visiting the doctor and cancelled up on me.
Its getting frustrating for me. I understand most of you will say to let her go. Honestly i cant, not right now. Cause i dont have any other option and i ll be mind ****ed if i did breakup. I am simply looking for ways to handle this situation. Will cancelling up on her make her realise that what she is doing isnt right.

Ghost her for 3 weeks. No contact at all. Zero. 3 or 4 weeks. but min of 3.

See how she behaves when you let her know you have a lot on your plate and are extremly busy. Do this after 3 to4 weeks of no contact.

Anything other than i am happy to see/hear from you is a next.

In those 3 to 4 weeks of silence spin plates.

 

[Glassguy]

He's looking for what to do. You're answer is "you're bad. ...my work here is done. *salutes like you're a freakin boss*" Lol be constructive man hahahahaha.


For real though. This, dude. What the heck? Drop her and don't speak to her again!

As far as general advice on getting canceled on, lessen your communication. When a girl in the future asks to meet up, actually be focused on other things. There's a girl who just asked if I'd come to her place to teach her guitar - in the moment I said in a lighthearted way "yeah, that sounds fun," but haven't done it and it's been like a week. Not just to act cool though, haha. But I'm doing other stuff. I have a life. As a result, I'm more scarce and I'm not destroying all my other plans, relationships, etc. just to hang with a person.

Focus on where you're heading in life. Do things. Learn skills - sports, programming, lift weights, learn an instrument, etc. Not for show. For your life. That's one way the pieces will start to fall into place.

"What to do" doesnt mean create 100 different reasons as to why he is bad with women and must continue to pursue this ho bag.

I swear it kills me and makes me want to vomit when I read so much boo hooing around on this forum.

You want change? Then get off your arse and make it happen. Stop finding excuses and start finding solutions.

I stand by post. If anyone wants to keep getting poor results, keep doing the same thing.

People on SoSuave cant change it for you. It must be done from within.

 

[FruitLoops]

"What to do" doesnt mean create 100 different reasons as to why he is bad with women and must continue to pursue this ho bag.

I swear it kills me and makes me want to vomit when I read so much boo hooing around on this forum.

You want change? Then get off your arse and make it happen. Stop finding excuses and start finding solutions.

I stand by post. If anyone wants to keep getting poor results, keep doing the same thing.

People on SoSuave cant change it for you. It must be done from within.

Look i understand your point. I am not looking for some magic beans here. I know i need to do the work to improve. But seeking someone eles's perspective on the situation doesnt harm. I seek such perspective so that i dont commit same mistake again with some other chick.
Its not that i am suffering from oneits with this broad. I know it looks like it. But i am putting possible efforts to change.
This is why i keep posting questions here, so that i can gain from your experience and perspective in handling different situations, not cause i am suffering or frustrated with my situation.
So chill.

 

[derby1]

OP this woman has given you a taste of some battered old pusssy thats probably brewed some devil ****s kid, and like 80% of men currently walking the earth, you have completely collapsed on your knees, quicker than the fake president in superman 2

this is the mindset you need to get out of, have you seen lord of the rings? how gollom behaves when the ring gets taken and he gets it back etc etc................THAT, she can smell it a mile off

 

[GT40]

If she was really into you she’d stop ditching you man. I too agree you have Oneitis. Let her go and see if she comes back.
On your terms. She’s a plate don’t sweat it

 

[Dr.Suave]

I spend a bunch of time here telling dudes to stay away from single moms and here´s this 26 year old bro spinning an old grandma and b1tching about her flakiness.

You can´t make this stuff up.


Anyways, ghost her for some time. Give her the gift of missing you. In the meantime get new plates and have fun.