Social competition

[Fruitbat]

I have middle class and working class friends. Whenever I meet the MC friends, most of them discuss things in a socially competitive way. It’s constant “this is what I’ve achieved, doing, how much I have” etc. Always dropping things in out of context.

i do ok for myself and I’ve never felt the urge to rub it in others noses. Even things like selecting a drink, it has to be the right drink, the right mixer, it’s all a big status and class show. What happened to just having a beer with your friends?

once you get past this, I can still have some fun times, I just get a little bored with the whole ego thing .

I refuse to play but it seems like I have nothing to add. I have lots going on, I just can’t be bothered playing that game.

any tips on how to avoid and handle these discussions?

 

[AttackFormation]

Tell them what you think or find a different crowd, what else could you do?

 

[sexymanman]

go out by yourself and actually have all types of women from all sorts of backgrounds show attraction in you.

 

[user43770]

Most people go their entire lives without questioning a lick. Fvcking fags

The fact that you even notice sh1t like this means you're smart, and above the crowd.

There aren't many people like you. Get used to a lonely life. Intellectually, at least.

Welcome to the club!

 

[Snake-eyes]

It’s time to separate your self

 

[lamath]

I have middle class and working class friends. Whenever I meet the MC friends, most of them discuss things in a socially competitive way. It’s constant “this is what I’ve achieved, doing, how much I have” etc. Always dropping things in out of context.

i do ok for myself and I’ve never felt the urge to rub it in others noses. Even things like selecting a drink, it has to be the right drink, the right mixer, it’s all a big status and class show. What happened to just having a beer with your friends?

once you get past this, I can still have some fun times, I just get a little bored with the whole ego thing .

I refuse to play but it seems like I have nothing to add. I have lots going on, I just can’t be bothered playing that game.

any tips on how to avoid and handle these discussions?

Got some friend in the corporate word that does that too, it feels like they are still in HS.

Me idgaf about thier acheivment, they are working for the man and thier only ambition is getting on the top of the latter to.make more.money for someone else.
I work for myself. And do more $$ than most of them

 

[Fruitbat]

Got some friend in the corporate word that does that too, it feels like they are still in HS.

Me idgaf about thier acheivment, they are working for the man and thier only ambition is getting on the top of the latter to.make more.money for someone else.
I work for myself. And do more $$ than most of them

haha I’m in the corporate world and they work for themselves. That’s mainly just as a twist of fate. Their job role is client facing and most of those firms work for them selves.

I had 20 mins on how one guys firm had achieved xyz. The way this stuff is said, it’s like point score.

I learned long ago pride is a dangerous thing, because it’s all too easy to lose the lot by a stroke of fate. All success, and failure, is temporary. Also, bragging impresses no one, and purely serves to alienate you from people.

 

[Mike32ct]

go out by yourself and actually have all types of women from all sorts of backgrounds show attraction in you.

This. When you go solo, you can be selective above who you interact with. Of course, you won't necessarily know what you are dealing with until after you talk to them.

 

[Kotaix]

Man this topic hits home... I should preface the following saying that I set it up on purpose just to see what would happen.

I went tubing in texas with two completely disparate groups of people (at the same time). One group worked for Deloit consulting, all of them talking about politics and their next promotion and how much money they made and yadda yadda yadda yadda. The others were just your average texas rednecks, one of which I found out had just gotten out of prison for bull**** charges. Needless to say they didn't mingle and I was the only one who was interested in bridging that gap. But I didn't. I just hung out with the rednecks and laughed.

Another thing to add: Aaron Clarey says often that when he worked in the banking industry, almost all the people who showed up in flashy cars and had tons of look-at-me items had no money whatsoever and it was all a show. The people who were truly wealthy drove POS cars and you'd never know they were filthy rich.

As for how I handle these situations, I tend to insert chaos into the conversation for my own amusement. I'm perfectly capable of playing their game because I used to be like them, but nowdays I enjoy using that knowledge to subtly **** with their heads. If I can make them question their delusion for one moment, my time was well spent, and I had some fun to boot. They aren't going to invite you around anymore, but that's kind of the point.

 

[Black Widow Void]

We all have our own style. Personally, I like to leave them with question marks above their head.
If you really don't care to see them again or get invited out by this crowd, try this.
"Hey ____ (insert name) I noticed that you dress like and order the same drinks as every other conformist around here. What is it that differentiates you from the cattle?"

Either you'll learn something unique about the friend (though probably unlikely) or you'll leave them with the realization that they lack individuality and that you two have too little in common to continue.

 

[Fruitbat]

I’m so glad others know this.

issue is, it’s a lonely road.

I really like the part above about higher purpose. I’d be interested to hear examples.

I’ve been working on my personal values, which are: Openness, honesty, integrity, punctuality and cohesion.

openness and honesty cause issues, because often you will say things others don’t like. As an example, I’m strongly in favour of an independent UK (that means pro-brexit) but I am surrounded by pro EU remainers. I’m often provoked into defending my points, and because I have integrity, I either just side step it or argue the point. If I side step, with something like “nobody is going to win this, we all hold our views, let’s concentrate on what we do agree on”, these cvnts keep going....pushing it further. So I either argue and cause a stink, or just fold, which I can’t do.

there’s a lot of people out there who just go along with the dominant view, they know this, but it keeps them safe. That to me, is no life at all.

higher purpose though, I suppose mine is to provide for my fairly poor family. But I feel this isn’t “high” enough. It would be interesting to hear some examples

 

[Fruitbat]

Most people go their entire lives without questioning a lick. Fvcking fags

The fact that you even notice sh1t like this means you're smart, and above the crowd.

There aren't many people like you. Get used to a lonely life. Intellectually, at least.

Welcome to the club!

sadly, one of the few guys who “got it”, my best childhood friend, committed suicide a few weeks ago.

at least I can see from here there are others out there.

 

[speed dawg]

higher purpose though, I suppose mine is to provide for my fairly poor family. But I feel this isn’t “high” enough. It would be interesting to hear some examples

I've been trying to find mine for years. Very difficult process for some, especially people who think like you do (and I, and many others in this thread obviously).

I suggest you start simple. Find your top 3 talents. Find your top 3 passions. You have identified some values, that's good. I like the number 3, I try to keep everything around that number. Just list these things, don't think too much about it. Try to find where all those ideas intersect.

Hard not to succumb to the cynicism. That's a daily, intentional fight against yourself.

 

[Kotaix]

It def is a lonely road. I've lost most of my friends and few of them still contact me. But I refuse to cower and embrace the groupthink. If someone doesn't like my opinions they can go pound sand. It really is that simple, and when you have that, you are free. They are not, they have to tow the line or be ostracized; and if you constantly care about what other people think of you, you'll never be free.

@Fruitbat you should read Mastery by Robert Greene. It's specifically about finding your purpose.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Play along.

Pretend like you are trying to outdo them, but do it with purposely lame things.

Like brag about how you just got a brand new library card or something.

And you can check out books anytime you want.

For free.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Play along.

Pretend like you are trying to outdo them, but do it with purposely lame things.

Like brag about how you just got a brand new library card or something.

And you can check out books anytime you want.

For free.

Does it deflate them? They attempt to play their games to troll you and get on your energy level. Knocking you off.

 

[Trump]

I have middle class and working class friends. Whenever I meet the MC friends, most of them discuss things in a socially competitive way. It’s constant “this is what I’ve achieved, doing, how much I have” etc. Always dropping things in out of context.

i do ok for myself and I’ve never felt the urge to rub it in others noses.

That’s where you are wrong.

If you get, you have to give. Otherwise it will bother you. Same reason you made the thread.

Even things like selecting a drink, it has to be the right drink, the right mixer, it’s all a big status and class show. What happened to just having a beer with your friends?

Are you kidding? Every chance to get together with friends is a chance to rub their faces in it and make them jealous.

Everyone will look for your weakness and attack it relentlessly.

Do you guys not experience life?

once you get past this, I can still have some fun times, I just get a little bored with the whole ego thing .

You mean you get a little “annoyed” with the whole ego thing.

I refuse to play but it seems like I have nothing to add.

Well then get something to add.

I have lots going on, I just can’t be bothered playing that game.

If everyone is playing poker at the table, you have to play poker. To say “I get jealous when you guys play poker, let’s play BJ.” Ridiculous. You have to go with the flow. Adapt. Read. Educate yourself.

You have to be so smart, they say “don’t mess with him, he is a sharp guy.”

 

[Fruitbat]

That’s where you are wrong.

If you get, you have to give. Otherwise it will bother you. Same reason you made the thread.



Are you kidding? Every chance to get together with friends is a chance to rub their faces in it and make them jealous.

Everyone will look for your weakness and attack it relentlessly.

Do you guys not experience life?



You mean you get a little “annoyed” with the whole ego thing.



Well then get something to add.



If everyone is playing poker at the table, you have to play poker. To say “I get jealous when you guys play poker, let’s play BJ.” Ridiculous. You have to go with the flow. Adapt. Read. Educate yourself.

You have to be so smart, they say “don’t mess with him, he is a sharp guy.”

Issue is DT, some would prefer their own company.

if you have this relationship with friends, how can you trust them and what is the point of the friendship?

if it’s about one-upmanship and rubbing people’s noses in it, what happens if you get a wasting disease or your child dies, or you are wrongfully convicted, or any number of things? People obsessed with this dynamic would have a little smirk on their faces as you piss yourself or weep for your bad luck.

someone who rejoices when your business fails isn’t a friend, it’s ah enemy. I’d rather keep away from enemies who are in this dynamic with you.

life is a more mature experience than one upmanship. It’s the lowest tier of human experience. Some people, believe it or not, get more fulfilment out of helping people than driving a top end BMW. I could afford a really nice car but don’t choose to. I did once, I found it did nothing for my life, other than give slightly better prestige with the people described. So I’m winning acclaim with people who would be happy in my downfall.

perhaps I’m finding my higher purpose, to achieve success for those around me while shunning and opting out of the backstabbing.

I remember, before I achieved success I thought like you Trump, once you’ve had it and been able to live the life, you find what’s waiting for you isn’t what you expected.

 

[Trump]

if you have this relationship with friends, how can you trust them and what is the point of the friendship?

Who said you should you trust them? The point is to do something with them. Hockey game, poker, pool. The point isn’t to reveal your finances or your wives pregnancy.

if it’s about one-upmanship and rubbing people’s noses in it, what happens if you get a wasting disease or your child dies, or you are wrongfully convicted, or any number of things? People obsessed with this dynamic would have a little smirk on their faces as you piss yourself or weep for your bad luck.

Of course they would. You don’t think your friends would love it if your wife dies? Or your kid dies? Or if you go bankrupt?

They are compassionate to your face, behind the scenes they are loving it.

someone who rejoices when your business fails isn’t a friend, it’s ah enemy. I’d rather keep away from enemies who are in this dynamic with you.

Your enemy would show up to your funeral faster than your friend.

life is a more mature experience than one upmanship. It’s the lowest tier of human experience. Some people, believe it or not, get more fulfilment out of helping people than driving a top end BMW. I could afford a really nice car but don’t choose to. I did once, I found it did nothing for my life, other than give slightly better prestige with the people described. So I’m winning acclaim with people who would be happy in my downfall.

Yep.

perhaps I’m finding my higher purpose, to achieve success for those around me while shunning and opting out of the backstabbing.

Good job. Go for it.

I remember, before I achieved success I thought like you Trump, once you’ve had it and been able to live the life, you find what’s waiting for you isn’t what you expected.

True. That’s capitalism.

Look at Warren Buffet. “Oh gosh golly me, I live in the same house I bought in 1953, I play the ukulele on my porch, I drink Coke like your average everyday 9-5 American.”

Behind the scenes, he buys companies who destroy the Amazon rainforest, or whose products cause cancer, or he will support the firing of several thousand workers if he gets more money. Yet the media loves him.

Everything is corrupt.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Who said you should you trust them? The point is to do something with them. Hockey game, poker, pool. The point isn’t to reveal your finances or your wives pregnancy.



Of course they would. You don’t think your friends would love it if your wife dies? Or your kid dies? Or if you go bankrupt?

They are compassionate to your face, behind the scenes they are loving it.



Your enemy would show up to your funeral faster than your friend.



Yep.



Good job. Go for it.



True. That’s capitalism.

Look at Warren Buffet. “Oh gosh golly me, I live in the same house I bought in 1953, I play the ukulele on my porch, I drink Coke like your average everyday 9-5 American.”

Behind the scenes, he buys companies who destroy the Amazon rainforest, or whose products cause cancer, or he will support the firing of several thousand workers if he gets more money. Yet the media loves him.

Everything is corrupt.

I never thought about the one were a friend could be happy that your child died. Ridiculous but reality. Many of thrm behind your back are excited about misfortune in your life.