Girlfriend's off-hand comments about my height.

[user43770]

If a woman told me about how tall her ex was, I would immediately say "fvck you, go get him" and drop her off at the house.

My poppa didn't raise no b1tch.

 

[sexymanman]

Tell her that she's telling lies.
She can't be attracted to height since she's with your short ass. That's the truth of the matter.

 

[user43770]

Tell her that she's telling lies.
She can't be attracted to height since she's with your short ass. That's the truth of the matter.

Women are always going to be attracted to taller guys. That sh1t is based in nature and there's nothing you can do about it.

But a willingness to walk gives you a leg up

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The red flags:

1. Her repeatedly bringing something up that you can't change, to try to get under your skin and make you feel insecure. How do you think she would react to you making repeated comments about other women who have bigger t*ts or weigh less??
2. The fact that she didn't accept your telling her that you didn't like it. You said there was a back and forth after you told her, and also that she never even apologized for it. This is BAD news. Inability to admit fault or own up to her actions. Does she have any other narcissistic tendencies?
3. The fact that she turned the issue from her poking you over height into your "not being over it when you said you were." As others have said, this is again her making it your fault and redirecting the source of the problem to you. But a couple things..... You left out the details of the back and forth so I'm curious as to why you told her you were ok with it after that first discussion about it, especially if she didn't apologize? It sounds like she tried and succeeded to force you into saying you were over it at the conclusion of the conversation, and that she never really admit to her fault? And second, once you communicated your point to her clearly, it's a bad idea to bring it up again if she hasn't done it again. I understand you were frustrated because she never apologized, but what you are doing by being sarcastic and bringing it up again is really weak and shows insecurity. It's covert communication which is how women communicate, not men. If you didn't get the satisfaction you needed in your original conversation with her about it, that's on you. But beyond that, you can't fix it with more words, only action. The action doesn't have to be as harsh as leaving her (unless you think it's warranted), bibutt it should be a progressive removal of your time and attention until she earns it back.

 

[RyanAD]

The red flags:

1. Her repeatedly bringing something up that you can't change, to try to get under your skin and make you feel insecure. How do you think she would react to you making repeated comments about other women who have bigger t*ts or weigh less??
2. The fact that she didn't accept your telling her that you didn't like it. You said there was a back and forth after you told her, and also that she never even apologized for it. This is BAD news. Inability to admit fault or own up to her actions. Does she have any other narcissistic tendencies?
3. The fact that she turned the issue from her poking you over height into your "not being over it when you said you were." As others have said, this is again her making it your fault and redirecting the source of the problem to you. But a couple things..... You left out the details of the back and forth so I'm curious as to why you told her you were ok with it after that first discussion about it, especially if she didn't apologize? It sounds like she tried and succeeded to force you into saying you were over it at the conclusion of the conversation, and that she never really admit to her fault? And second, once you communicated your point to her clearly, it's a bad idea to bring it up again if she hasn't done it again. I understand you were frustrated because she never apologized, but what you are doing by being sarcastic and bringing it up again is really weak and shows insecurity. It's covert communication which is how women communicate, not men. If you didn't get the satisfaction you needed in your original conversation with her about it, that's on you. But beyond that, you can't fix it with more words, only action. The action doesn't have to be as harsh as leaving her (unless you think it's warranted), bibutt it should be a progressive removal of your time and attention until she earns it back.

The back and forth went along these lines;

Her: you're making a big deal over nothing.
Me: How would you feel if I said my friend's has girlfriends that were skinnier than you?
Her: That's different.
Me: Considering you're so into the 'body positive' stuff, I'm surprised you have this massive double standard.
Her: You're overreacting
Me: listen, you've royally messed up. I'm tired of this. Get back to me when you realise what a ****ty thing you've done.

Then I went to bed late. I slept in because I had the day off university and was woken up to a phone call of her crying about some bad news she had got at a meeting at university, I left the argument alone so that I could talk her through the issue.

 

[lamath]

The back and forth went along these lines;

Her: you're making a big deal over nothing.
Me: How would you feel if I said my friend's has girlfriends that were skinnier than you?
Her: That's different.
Me: Considering you're so into the 'body positive' stuff, I'm surprised you have this massive double standard.
Her: You're overreacting
Me: listen, you've royally messed up. I'm tired of this. Get back to me when you realise what a ****ty thing you've done.

Then I went to bed late. I slept in because I had the day off university and was woken up to a phone call of her crying about some bad news she had got at a meeting at university, I left the argument alone so that I could talk her through the issue.

Ive notice that those bad news, happen more often and are more serious when a women knows you are not happy with her and might just dump her

Act accordingly, this is manipulation to make you forget.

 

[user43770]

Do you live with her?

 

[derby1]

Me: listen, you've royally messed up. I'm tired of this. Get back to me when you realise what a ****ty thing you've done.

Then I went to bed late. I slept in because I had the day off university and was woken up to a phone call of her crying about some bad news she had got at a meeting at university, I left the argument alone so that I could talk her through the issue.

you went straight back into being her emotional tampon instead of staying congruent with your original ultimatum, she knows your full of ****

 

[derby1]

do you see what the modern man puts up with in return for ***** god its disgusting, and even more sickening is how women know. and they all behave the same ,.....repulsive

 

[user43770]

you went straight back into being her emotional tampon instead of staying congruent with your original ultimatum, she knows your full of ****

Women thrive off small arguments. They try to keep you on the defensive, because they know that gives them the steering wheel.

Any time you have a legitimate reason to be p1ssed*, watch them suddenly become helpless, in need of your big strong man help.

*That's if they can't blame you for whatever they did wrong.

 

[lamath]

Women thrive off small arguments. They try to keep you on the defensive, because they know that gives them the steering wheel.

Any time you have a legitimate reason to be p1ssed*, watch them suddenly become helpless, in need of your big strong man help.

*That's if they can't blame you for whatever they did wrong.

+10000000000
Sadly this is always the case.
They always find fault with you, always.
Mostly stupid stuff because incousiouly they want it.
But when you hit back they cry and besome helplesss.

 

[user43770]

Every time I've had a woman flagrantly in the wrong, they first lash out at me and accuse me of being an assh0le. When I was younger, I played into their hand and went on the defensive. As I've gained wisdom, I ignore their mind games and stay steadfast.

If their attempt at putting me on the defensive doesn't work, they always start crying like a child. Usually works, too, as everybody hates to see a child cry.

 

[lamath]

Every time I've had a woman flagrantly in the wrong, they first lash out at me and accuse me of being an assh0le. When I was younger, I played into their hand and went on the defensive. As I've gained wisdom, I ignore their mind games and stay steadfast.

If their attempt at putting me on the defensive doesn't work, they always start crying like a child. Usually works, too, as everybody hates to see a child cry.

I do the same but the often the insistence and how much of my time they waste with ****in non sense can seriously gets on my nerve.

 

[RyanAD]

Do you live with her?

We don't live together. I'm in Law school in a city about 40 minuets away from where she studies nursing.

 

[user43770]

I do the same but the often the insistence and how much of my time they waste with ****in non sense can seriously gets on my nerve.

I've said this a few times, but women will always try to get their fair share: of your money, of your time, of your emotional tranquility.

 

[user43770]

We don't live together. I'm in Law school in a city about 40 minuets away from where she studies nursing.

That's good. Won't be a problem to start distancing yourself from her if necessary. She sounds horrible.

Women are supposed to make your life better, not worse.

 

[RyanAD]

She definitely wants you to feel bad, the question is why. More important than why though is, will she stop, seems like not.

I've heard it only twice, and not from the worst women I've dated either. Once, my GF was complaining she always "ends up" with the short guys lol. Another, on a date with a 5'0" max chick, she called me "super short" at 5'8"...ok...

I'm beginning to wonder whether it's out of jealousy. She came over to see my new apartment (which is a super modern penthouse with 360 degree wrap-round windows which look out over the city's skyline) and she said 'yeah, bit smaller than your last one'. It's also the case that she is very secure in our relationship... until another girl flits with me in the street or something (which I always ignore) and then she turns into a raging lion ready to rip the girl's head off.

 

[lamath]

She's narcisisstic, wild guess bad parenting. When she grew up her parents did this to her, found her points of pride or points of weakness and targeted them.

Would show her, however not sure it will make dealing with her better.


Its obvious that she is insecure about him and need to bring him down from time to time to make herself feel better.

 

[redskinsfan92]

You must leave her without argument in a very cold and unemotional manner. In fact, do it while she is having a bad day. Because she is not. She is lying to your face. There was no bad news.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

She's narcisisstic, wild guess bad parenting. When she grew up her parents did this to her, found her points of pride or points of weakness and targeted them.

Winner. You don't deliberately look for scabs to pick at unless it's happened to you, usually when young.

Back to OP, I find it extremely suspect that she called you crying the next day. No one but her knows why but it sure looks to me to be a tactic to test where you are and if she can get you back into her frame. I think you handled the original discussion with her pretty well (since you added details), but given her total and complete lack of acceptance or even acknowledgement of fault combined with her attempt to say YOU are the one with the problem, I would not have soothed her the next day. You are, at the core, a good person for being able to put aside the previous issue in order to be supportive to her, however, she didn't deserve it. That's the thing that is so hard for us men to learn: Women despise us for doing the right thing when they don't deserve it. Through brainwashing in movies, TV, and third wave feminism, we think it's the right thing when in reality it isn't. If she called me crying, being needy looking for me to help her with her problem after the way the conversation went the night before, I would have very quietly listened for a very short time, told her I was sorry to hear it, that I trust that she will get through it, and made a polite excuse as to why I had to get off the phone quickly. I wouldn't warm up to her until I was satisfied that she made it up to me. Any further attempt from her at telling me I am over-reacting would be met with further or complete withdrawal.

This girl seems very manipulative and narcissistic. I see very specific patterns here that I've experienced with a couple exes, both of which ended badly. One was BPD. My advice is to work on removing any emotional investment you have with her and if you can't do that, I would eject.