Is she in to me or just seeking for another beta male orbiter?

[w4nhels1ng]

Hello guys,

Last week I've started a new job and there's this pretty girl (22). I'm 26. I don't usually hit on women at work, but I'm not planning to stay there for long, so why not.
Everything started quite casually, basically I did a mistake and I've asked her how can I fix it and she gave me a solution which didn't solve the problem, but just covered it, so I called her a bad girl.
She said: -Excuse me?
I: -I've said you're a bad girl 'cause you're teaching me bad stuff.
Then she started laughing and said: -Yeah, I'm naughty.

Next time she passed me by and asked:
Her: -Have you seen my green jacket somewhere around?
I: -Which one? There's loads of them around. (We work with all sorts of clothes)
Her: -Oh you bastard.
I: -Did you lose it?
Her: -There's one guy who took it and hid it while I was unaware. (She has some guys seeking for her attention in all ways possible)
I: -Ohh, I thought you've started losing your clothes because you're thinking about me.
Then she just laughed.

Later that day I just came up to her and asked:
I: -I think you're really hot, would you like to go for a coffee?
Her: -No, sorry. As she was walking away with a really big smile.
I: -Oh, cool. With a smile, acting cool.

Since then I didn't give any of my attention to her, assuming she's not interested. Just asked a couple of work-related questions and that's it.
On the second day (Today) of me not giving a **** about her she came up to me and asked:
Her: -What's your name?
I: -Uhm, what?
Her: -Tell me your name please.
I told her my name
Her: -Why are you avoiding me?
I: -I'm avoiding you? (Smiling)
Her: -Yeah, you've stopped talking to me all of the sudden.
I: -Well, I'm just doing my job, you know, anyway, how you're doing?
Her: -I'm good. And you?
I: -I'm great. Thanks. (And I walked off)

Then later that day it just happened that she was next to me as I was holding lots of clothes in my one arm and putting then in a box with another hand and some clothes dropped on the floor and she suddenly picked them up for me (she looked like she was very committed to do that just to get my attention).
I just thanked her and smiled a bit.

Then she reminded me that I'm late to my break.
I just told her that I know it and I'm going later.

As well I would catch her randomly staring at me.
I would talk in front of her to other people but give no mind to her.
She wasn't looking very happy when I would walk by her without giving her my attention. Kinda grumpy to be honest.

And at the end of the shift I've been told to go to one particular spot to make some boxes.
Later on she came as well and I asked:
I: -So you're stalking me now? (Smile)
Her: -No, I've been told to come here. (Smile)
Then just ignored her for the rest of the time.


So guys, what are your thoughts about this? What action can I take from here?
Should I keep ignoring her? Or should I wait until she approaches me and I tell her that I'm not interested in friendship, but would like to look good naked together?
Should I let her know that I'm not planning to stay at this job long time, so she wouldn't worry about other co-workers finding out about us?
My mind is foggy right now.
Any ideas?

 

[Robert28]

To be honest some of that so called flirting was cringy. I don’t THINK you’re in the friend zone but you are well on your way. The only way you’ll know you aren’t is if she asks you out since she’s already turned you down. That was a bad way to ask her out though, you basically put her on a pedestal and suggested a boring date all at the same time, no wonder she said no.

 

[Kotaix]

She's into you, imo. But make a move soon.

 

[Robert28]

She's into you, imo. But make a move soon.

Yep and quit trying so hard.

 

[w4nhels1ng]

To be honest some of that so called flirting was cringy. I don’t THINK you’re in the friend zone but you are well on your way. The only way you’ll know you aren’t is if she asks you out since she’s already turned you down. That was a bad way to ask her out though, you basically put her on a pedestal and suggested a boring date all at the same time, no wonder she said no.

So what would've been your way for asking her out?
I know the line I've used was weak, but I just wanted to make it as simple as possible.

 

[w4nhels1ng]

She's into you, imo. But make a move soon.

What do you mean by "Make a move"?
I've made one already and it didn't work out. lol

 

[Robert28]

So what would've been your way for asking her out?
I know the line I've used was weak, but I just wanted to make it as simple as possible.

Well I wouldn’t have qualified her about her looks, telling her she’s hot makes her seem above you. Coffee is boring unless it’s online.

 

[w4nhels1ng]

Yep and quit trying so hard.

If I made a move, wouldn't it be trying hard in first place?

 

[w4nhels1ng]

Well I wouldn’t have qualified her about her looks, telling her she’s hot makes her seem above you. Coffee is boring unless it’s online.

What way you'd ask her out?

 

[Robert28]

What way you'd ask her out?

Well I don’t know the girl and you’ve already asked her out so you can’t really ask her out again, she’s going to have to ask you.

 

[The Duke]

She's into you. Keep flirting. It's working. Build a little more rapport.

 

[w4nhels1ng]

Well I don’t know the girl and you’ve already asked her out so you can’t really ask her out again, she’s going to have to ask you.

So far you only told me what I've done wrong in your opinion.
But I've got no proper answers or guidance on what to do next.

Only a vague "Make a move soon and quit trying so hard" What does that even mean?

No help, just more confusion, my friends.

 

[The Duke]

Well I don’t know the girl and you’ve already asked her out so you can’t really ask her out again, she’s going to have to ask you.

Never take girls too literally. They aren't exactly rational creatures. She said No because she wasn't ready. He needs to elevate her temperature. Some girls need to feel like you have increased their temperature high enough before they go out with you.

The take-a-way from this is she keeps playing along and taking initiative. As long as you have this keep building the connection.

 

[Barrister]

What way you'd ask her out?

What time do you get off work and do you work the same shift? Also, do you have her number? You need to ask her out for drinks -- not coffee -- and after the work day is out maybe a great time.

Here is my caveat though - don't sh1t where you eat. Things go sideways with this chick your workplace is going to be hell. Proceed with caution.

 

[AttackFormation]

Robert28's criticism of what you said is just a neurotic overanalysis that he got from manosphere keyboard alphas who make you think the lines, time, tone, planetary alignment and whatever else you use to ask a girl out needs to be developed with the same technical precision as a nanorobot.

But you know what? interested women don't behave like she did. They don't seek your validation and then say no without any doubt or counteroffer. Now these guys are trying to lay out the "technique" to getting her to say yes, like 16 year olds who found "game" for the first time back when it was new, when all she wanted was validation. These guys telling you to keep playing games with her in some strategy to make her want to go out with you is exactly what plays into her keeping you around her finger for more entertainment and validation (like the other guys there she is playing), but they think they're being smart lol.

Let me ask you something. If you were interested in a girl, you'd talked to her a bit, and then she said she thinks you're hot and would like to go on a casual date with you, would you turn her down because she didn't use the exact words and lines that "trigger" you to say yes? What would she do if she saw these guys going on about the proper technique to get her to say yes? probably laugh, right?

You told her exactly what you thought about her and you suggested a casual date, that's a good method in my book. Cuts straight through to her interest level and sets a sexual tone. They're not stupid, they know why you want to ask them out. They also have their own sex drive, you don't have to pretend you don't look at her sexually, if she wants to have sex with you she is thinking the same thing.

Now for my suggestion. You've now already initiated and she said no, but keeps toying with you for validation as she did before. At this point she knows you want her and that means if she wants you, she will ask YOU out in some way. She is not stupid. If I were you I would just keep doing my own thing and treat her like a particle that sometimes bounces into me while I go about my day. It's up to her to change that status.

 

[teacha]

Later that day I just came up to her and asked:
I: -I think you're really hot, would you like to go for a coffee?
Her: -No, sorry. As she was walking away with a really big smile.
I: -Oh, cool. With a smile, acting cool.

You were doing so well until this part. Shouldn’t have asked her out or told her she was really hot.

Listen, never let women know where they stand with you. This is how you get women obsessed with you. You want her to be constantly asking herself “does this guy like me or not?”. Keep your cards close to your chest. Always!

Anyway, if you are still interested in this girl, I would suggest this:

1. From now on, when you feel like complimenting her bite your tongue.
2. Blow hot and cold. One day be friendly and the next ignore her. You know what I mean.
3. Flirt with her but don’t pursue. Whatever you do, don’t ask her out again, unless she sends out choosing signals.
4. Flirt with other girls. There can be no successful seduction without a bit of jealousy involved.

Godspeed.

 

[cruzinV]

Kinda sounds like a high school interaction.

 

[Alvafe]

Kinda sounds like a high school interaction.

welcome to trying with a cowork, with is basicaly a high school, save this time you are paid for something.

the rule is never compliment her looks unless she deserve, hence she did something to catch you eye, something she already do normally shouldn't be argument for compliments, course that only matter if she don't want you in the first place, another little piece is she will break rules for apha and create then for betas, aka if she find you hot, you could call her fat she would still go out with you.


pretty much keep the flirting but not only her would be more interesting, she would need to see you with someone else to pick her jealousy, but again doing things now you never did before would look more strange and she could see as you trying hard.

pretty much keep things simple, keep flirting, and teasing her, but always let her come to you

 

[17 shots]

Her: -Why are you avoiding me?
I: -I'm avoiding you? (Smiling)
Her: -Yeah, you've stopped talking to me all of the sudden.
I: -Well, I'm just doing my job, you know, anyway, how you're doing?
Her: -I'm good. And you?
I: -I'm great. Thanks. (And I walked off)

you had an opportunity right here to put her on the spot and see what's up with her. Especially since she came to you after rejecting you

I would of jokingly said something like well you turned me down for coffee so I thought you didn't like me... then I'd go off of whatever she said next.... you kind of gave her an easy out

 

[w4nhels1ng]

What time do you get off work and do you work the same shift? Also, do you have her number? You need to ask her out for drinks -- not coffee -- and after the work day is out maybe a great time.

Here is my caveat though - don't sh1t where you eat. Things go sideways with this chick your workplace is going to be hell. Proceed with caution.

Same shift, ends at 2pm. I don't have any contacts of her. I don't drink alcohol, that's why I asked for coffee If she drinks alcohol and I don't she'll think that I only want to get her drunk.
Btw, I've said that I'm not planning to stay at this workplace for too long and that's exactly why I've decided to hit on somebody.