Asking Girls Out in a Social Way

[nicksaiz65]

I was curious if any of you all ever did this.

I've been observing my Natural Friend who is fvcking some really hot girls at the moment. Trying to learn from him to get my Game on point and such. One thing I noticed is that instead of one-on-one dates, he often games girls in a social way. So like instead of "Let's you and me get a drink some time" sometimes he'll say "I'm going mountain biking with some friends. You should come with me." He'll take them along, and then close the deal after the fact, or invite them out individually later and close the deal then.

I guess this goes under Social Circle Game. But this concept seems very interesting. Any of you all ever do this? And how could you do this without getting friendzoned?

 

[nicksaiz65]

This works for him most likely because women tend to be most attracted to him within these social circles more often than not. I say this because I have been in scenarios where friends of mine have done the same, and these women took up an interest in me instead of my friend.

Bro before ho doesn’t stop it from happening.

It didn’t matter that I was a good friend and mostly ignored her so that he could do his thing. She made up her mind that her attention would be focused on someone other than him.

IMO this is not something you would do to “improve game” if you’re not that kind of guy already. You would be better off sticking to building some spark and chemistry first (physically) before bringing them into your social fold of friends who may often fair better than you with women.

So unless I'm dealing with a High Interest Woman, stick to one on one dates?

 

[backseatjuan]

I think he’s shy with women one on one.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I think he’s shy with women one on one.

Me or my friend? Lol

 

[backseatjuan]

Chicks know if they can fck with a guy in first minute of interaction, then it’s a matter of not fing it up. So yea, I think he’s afraid of one on one with them, it worked less for him in the past.

 

[DariusTheBartender]

I never invite a girl out with friends, seems like a lack of intimacy... I prefer to isolate. but if it works for him, by all means more power to him!

 

[nicksaiz65]

This works for him most likely because women tend to be most attracted to him within these social circles more often than not. I say this because I have been in scenarios where friends of mine have done the same, and these women took up an interest in me instead of my friend.

Bro before ho doesn’t stop it from happening.

It didn’t matter that I was a good friend and mostly ignored her so that he could do his thing. She made up her mind that her attention would be focused on someone other than him.

IMO this is not something you would do to “improve game” if you’re not that kind of guy already. You would be better off sticking to building some spark and chemistry first (physically) before bringing them into your social fold of friends who may often fair better than you with women.

Now that I think about it, you're absolutely right. I thought about it and it's almost coming from a place of insecurity "she wouldn't want to hang out with just me." Or worrying about coming off as creepy. Plus with my Natural Friend, they probably already have High Interest in him anyways.

 

[Spaz]

The meek have no power and no options.

The strong will crush them at every turn.

No man or women will respect ur whining and begging - remember that.

Don't cry. Don't complain. Don't despair - remember that, those things will do you no good.

What is ur strengths nick?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

I was curious if any of you all ever did this.

I've been observing my Natural Friend who is fvcking some really hot girls at the moment. Trying to learn from him to get my Game on point and such. One thing I noticed is that instead of one-on-one dates, he often games girls in a social way. So like instead of "Let's you and me get a drink some time" sometimes he'll say "I'm going mountain biking with some friends. You should come with me." He'll take them along, and then close the deal after the fact, or invite them out individually later and close the deal then.

I guess this goes under Social Circle Game. But this concept seems very interesting. Any of you all ever do this? And how could you do this without getting friendzoned?

it's a smart and casual approach. he invites them out to a social event with friends; this instantly shows some social status and the girl coming along will know him best out of everyone there. she'll naturally feel most comfortable with him. if his social circle is fun and respects him then she'll not only fall in line and respect him by default but she'll be keen to not disrespect him as his social circle may disapprove of her slights. she may also tend to stay by him the entire time if she's nervous or shy or if she's just really into him. this reinforces his status and value to his social circle. if his judgement is sound then both the girl and his social group will gain more respect for him.

this social time also gives him an easy way to feel her out and discover her true intent, what her thumbscrew is. is she laughing at every word he says? is she more relationship bound and is being extra careful to make a good impression on his friends? or is she more wild and doesn't care about trying to neg him in front of his friends? is she responding extremely positively to subtle touches of her body or purposefully touching him? he can calibrate his approach depending on her behavior and his own goals with that girl. he may end up sleeping with her or he may end up networking and making her a new friend to bring along to other things or he may dismiss her and never see her again. he is playing in his social domain. if he knows what he's doing he's the king by default, there is nothing for him to prove, and he is giving himself plenty of options depending on how she behaves.

generally the longer you can draw out the seduction the more desire it stirs up in her. if you flirt and stay slightly out of reach she'll chase relentlessly. a social event forces her to keep her distance out of respect for the group.

never be in a hurry.
'hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time. always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually.'

 

[nicksaiz65]

The meek have no power and no options.

The strong will crush them at every turn.

No man or women will respect ur whining and begging - remember that.

Don't cry. Don't complain. Don't despair - remember that, those things will do you no good.

What is ur strengths nick?

As in my talents or my social strengths?

 

[nicksaiz65]

it's a smart and casual approach. he invites them out to a social event with friends; this instantly shows some social status and the girl coming along will know him best out of everyone there. she'll naturally feel most comfortable with him. if his social circle is fun and respects him then she'll not only fall in line and respect him by default but she'll be keen to not disrespect him as his social circle may disapprove of her slights. she may also tend to stay by him the entire time if she's nervous or shy or if she's just really into him. this reinforces his status and value to his social circle. if his judgement is sound then both the girl and his social group will gain more respect for him.

this social time also gives him an easy way to feel her out and discover her true intent, what her thumbscrew is. is she laughing at every word he says? is she more relationship bound and is being extra careful to make a good impression on his friends? or is she more wild and doesn't care about trying to neg him in front of his friends? is she responding extremely positively to subtle touches of her body or purposefully touching him? he can calibrate his approach depending on her behavior and his own goals with that girl. he may end up sleeping with her or he may end up networking and making her a new friend to bring along to other things or he may dismiss her and never see her again. he is playing in his social domain. if he knows what he's doing he's the king by default, there is nothing for him to prove, and he is giving himself plenty of options depending on how she behaves.

generally the longer you can draw out the seduction the more desire it stirs up in her. if you flirt and stay slightly out of reach she'll chase relentlessly. a social event forces her to keep her distance out of respect for the group.

never be in a hurry.
'hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time. always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually.'

See but that makes perfect sense to me too. I guess there really is more than one way to skin a cat lol

 

[nicksaiz65]

Actually, I'm an idiot lol. I got coaching from Dr. Nerdlove last year and I asked a question pretty similar to this.

Q.) How do you feel about group dates or party dates? What is your definition of a date?

A.) If you bring a girl out in a group, that's fine, but you need to make sure that she knows it's a DATE. Maybe you could do this by explicitly saying the word date when you go to hang out with her. As long as you are building attraction and she feels safe and comfortable around you, that's good. There's no reason that you can't split off later from the group at the date. However, one sentiment that I very much agree with from PUA is "never bring a girl to the club."

If you'd like to bring a date to a house party too, that's perfectly fine. However, when you go on dates, you want to make sure that you go for exciting and engaging over just pleasant.

-------------------------------------
So there's yet another perspective to look at. I think that's a pretty good answer as well

 

[nicksaiz65]

Doesn't exist.

Hard work, persistence, willingness to move forward no matter what. There are no "naturals," and in my opinion you are doing yourself a huge disservice when you cling to the belief that such men exist.

You're just being outworked.

Your friend could have said the same exact thing to 10 different women, and it's very unlikely that all 10 would have said "yes." What makes him successful is his willingness to put aside his ego and risk rejection. You get rejected enough and you get more comfortable. And a comfortable guy is ALWAYS confident. Which of course attracts more women.

But you have to EARN that. It doesn't come naturally for anybody.

The first three words in the title of your thread are all you need to do. The last 4 words of your thread overcomplicate.

Right on the money

 

[nicksaiz65]

But = there are conditions, meaning it can go wrong if such conditions are not followed. Let’s continue.



This would be made pretty clear if you just asked her out one on one. By inviting her out with a group, you now have an additional step to take to clarify the intent of getting together.






Or maybe you can just ask her out in a date so you don’t have to make clarifications on situations that can be mistaken for platonic sh*t?





No kidding. Pretty much true whether it’s solo or a group.



Ah. But you’ll have to think of one to do that. And if she’s enjoying the company of the group, you better come up with something good.

All this would have already been done had you just gone solo for the date from the start.

If you can’t think of a very good reason to bring a woman on a “date” in a group setting that will clearly give you a leg up over taking her out alone....then why are you doing it?

Why create more work to clarify, more work to do to isolate, etc.? What is it about the group setting that will work so well all of that extra effort will be worth it?

You make a very, very, good point. The only reason I could think of off the top of my head is if it's an event that you were both going to anyways, such as a party or something. And even then you could probably just ask her out at a later point lol.

Or if you actually MET the chick while out with a group, and then try to pull her back at the same night. That's about the only situations I could think of where you would need this.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I’m not saying always avoid group settings at all costs. Im just offering some insight on potential hurdles you may not be considering.


If you want to give it a try then by all means give it a go and see what happens. Nothing wrong with that.

I do agree with your points though. All this could be remedied by just asking her out one on one lol. Although since I am in college I kinda want to be partial to a party date.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Yeah I hear ya. Did a lot of that too when I was in college, but none of it really lead to the better situations I had when hanging solo with them.

But I had my own room in a dorm where everyone was paired up to share with a roommate... and I was 21 to boot. whole lot of crazy sh*t went down in that room.

Yup, I've had my own room for a while now. Been there done that my friend

 

[nicksaiz65]

Yeah I hear ya. Did a lot of that too when I was in college, but none of it really lead to the better situations I had when hanging solo with them.

But I had my own room in a dorm where everyone was paired up to share with a roommate... and I was 21 to boot. whole lot of crazy sh*t went down in that room.

Oh while we're on the topic though... what solo dates did you do in college? I've been exclusively going to pool halls.

 

[Spaz]

As in my talents or my social strengths?

Anything and everything.

Do you know what ur strengths are nick?

 

[2Rocky]

I like his "I'm doing X, you should come" approach, whether it's with a group or not.

He is exhibiting his Social Proof by making it a group date, which sparks her desire. (watch Ester Perel for more on that)

He must have a pretty trustworthy group of friends since they don't throw him under the bus by saying "ANOTHER new girl, Dude..."

 

[greatsnake]

well, the reason why he is successful is due to the weight of a date has been taken off the woman, so their walls are non-existent or really low.