Is Covert Dread sustainable in a relationship?

[2Rocky]

Dread game is a technique to use in relationships where you make a girl worried that something is wrong or that you may leave her for another woman. This increases her anxiety levels to a point where she wants to alleviate the stress by trying to please you and make sure everything is okay, which prevents her from getting bored in the relationship and straying......

The reason that dread game works on women is that they prefer a baseline level of anxiety. Their brain enjoys a roller coaster ride of emotions that can go from pleasure to fear in a matter of minutes, and the dread you instill contributes to the raison d’etre of her life. In other words, she wants dread, and will choose to be with men who are able to create it within her as opposed to the man who prevents concerns and problems from rising up to the surface at all by being constantly reassuring.

Do we really want to have a relationship partner who is constantly seeking reassurance that they are with the right guy? I mean after awhile if a womans lack of self confidence makes her jealous doesn't that make our role in the relationship harder? Wouldn't it be easier to exhibit our quality traits and show we have the social scene well in hand and make her ADMIRE rather than Fearful?

 

[speed dawg]

Doesn't matter, that's the way it is. Get used to it. If you really know what you are doing, you'll do this without trying.

The only way these rules get overturned is if society slips into a true survival state.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Dread works on insecure women just as it works on insecure men. Therefore dread works because MOST people are insecure.

Dread will not work on self assured people with high self esteem.

However, if a man (or woman for that matter) has a constellation of traits that confer high value & high desirability in the dating market then the high value & desirability creates motivation to be a good actor in a relationship.

In other words if you become inherently a quality person who women desire you are not going to need to employ dread game.

Who you are takes care of that for you.

That is why as a man you are well advised to maximize your value vis a vis who you ACTUALLY are. Improve yourself and your attitude & life and evolve to a high value person and your need for dread game will vanish.

You’ll also become more visible to the high quality woman in doing this as well.

I don’t employ dread game. I don’t need to. I simply choose from men who see and appreciate who I am and my attributes. And solid men do the same thing.

 

[Serenity]

Do we really want to have a relationship partner who is constantly seeking reassurance that they are with the right guy?

Fvck no!

Not only does this only work on insecure women, but I think the man doing this has to be pretty damn insecure himself.

 

[AJ84]

If you have to resort to that kind of manipulation in order for someone to stay with you, you have to ask yourself:
What is lacking in me that I need to do this?
What is lacking in her that this is what it takes for her to stay?

 

[Atom Smasher]

In general, women today are brimming with artificially inflated SMV. We all know the effect the media and social media has had on their false evaluation of their SMV. Even the fatties are living in this dream-world.

Therefore, it is always wise to keep a little dread game going, just to keep them on their toes. Different women need different levels. Mine needs very little indeed, but I always make sure to keep a little taste of it in the relationship. I am of the opinion that women actually enjoy that slight fear of loss, because it is better than thinking that she has the guy hook, line and sinker. There's something unattractive about having her man in the palm of her hand in her mind.

A man who she considers above her, whom she looks up to and whom she hopes she doesn't lose, is a man who she will respect.

Your relationship requires management, men. You are responsible for your relationships, and for maintaining the dynamic tension necessary for it to thrive.

 

[AttackFormation]

In general, women today are brimming with artificially inflated SMV. We all know the effect the media and social media has had on their false evaluation of their SMV. Even the fatties are living in this dream-world.

If women in general have got soypilled betas showering them with favors, compliments and begging to do whatever it takes to please the woman's whims and entitlements to get into relationships and provide for them, chads fvcking them on the regular or sometimes from tinder, instagram, snapchat, bars and clubs, school, work, vacations, other activities or just being outside, and an assortment of men and women on entertainment media and antisocial media telling them they are stunning, amazing, special princesses, how "false" is their SMV really?

Maybe like in the rest of the animal kingdom, this is just reality.

 

[Atom Smasher]

If women in general have got soypilled betas showering them with favors, compliments and begging to do whatever it takes to please the woman's whims and entitlements to get into relationships and provide for them, chads fvcking them on the regular or sometimes from tinder, instagram, snapchat, bars and clubs, school, work, vacations, other activities or just being outside, and an assortment of men and women on entertainment media and antisocial media telling them they are stunning, amazing, special princesses, how "false" is their SMV really?

Maybe like in the rest of the animal kingdom, this is just reality.

Women with real SMV will not be attracted to the betas. They hold out for the alphas and aren't even interested in attention from the betas. The betas disgust them and their attention is worth nothing to them. This is why, when they find a solid man, dread game is possible, because she knows she has found a unicorn. She understands value.

 

[Focal core]

Women with real SMV will not be attracted to the betas. They hold out for the alphas and aren't even interested in attention from the betas. The betas disgust them and their attention is worth nothing to them. This is why, when they find a solid man, dread game is possible, because she knows she has found a unicorn. She understands value.

Haven't seen that in real life yet, at least at my area which is a capital city most go for good looking man. Even they're a chumpish behaviour.. Seen it too many times. Good looking man being their puppies. Any clue?

 

[guru1000]

In general, women today are brimming with artificially inflated SMV. We all know the effect the media and social media has had on their false evaluation of their SMV. Even the fatties are living in this dream-world.

Therefore, it is always wise to keep a little dread game going, just to keep them on their toes. Different women need different levels. Mine needs very little indeed, but I always make sure to keep a little taste of it in the relationship. I am of the opinion that women actually enjoy that slight fear of loss, because it is better than thinking that she has the guy hook, line and sinker. There's something unattractive about having her man in the palm of her hand in her mind.

A man who she considers above her, whom she looks up to and whom she hopes she doesn't lose, is a man who she will respect.

Your relationship requires management, men. You are responsible for your relationships, and for maintaining the dynamic tension necessary for it to thrive.

Solid post. “Dread” is the improper word for the OP though as it carries a negative connotation and even darker explanations in the OP as support—which can push some who need this solid advice away.

Challenge or Sovereignty is more applicable and carries none of the darker connotations that dread could imply. Challenge is self explanatory. Sovereignty because if one is royal within his essence, naturally his thinking and actions will project that his time and attention must be worked for and never undermined.

The reason why Challenge or Sovereignty is effective is she has to work (and intermittently work hard), and that which is worked for is appreciated and valued (and what comes easy is glossed over). This is the single most important ingredient in remaining highly desirable.

 

[Spaz]

Dread game or any superficial game for that matter, just to keep women on their toes = manipulation

Purposely manipulating women won't work in the long run.

Yes it will work to some extent but it also puts a man at a great disadvantage.

A disadvantage because the more you do it the more you become it and that's not leadership of empowerment - you don't inspire, you don't make those around you greater, you don't cultivate true friendship, you don't generate admiration, etc.

There are many kinds of leaders, some uses their status or through pulling rank, some through popularity - even when it's wrong, some through coercion, some by conning and etc.

Which one do you want to be?

Once you've taken on dread game, it changes the way you think and that will affect how you do things in real life, it's not just limited to women but towards how you basically manage or interact with people around you.

If you find that you need dread game to keep women in check then I most definitely know you lack many attributes to inspire women to be greater, to feel empowered by ur physical, mental and spiritual strengths.

In the end, you should ask urself how can a women truly admire a man who uses manipulation tactics since its primarily a feminine tactic ?

And without admiration there can be no true respect, and without respect there can be no feminine love towards the masculine presence.

 

[Alvafe]

my take on, I belive I did mention this before, is dread game only do work if is a kind of passive dread, you don't do anything direct to cause said dread, but she knows, if she is not on her best behavior she can lose you, she know there is woman who will jump on your lap the moment you are single, she builds the whole dread on her mind and then she do everything possible to assure herself its not the case and making sure he would stay around

you need 3 things on a relationship, fear, respect, admiration, she need to fear lose you, she need to respect you, she need to admire you for what you are and do, having this 3 is the key I belive

 

[Atom Smasher]

Dread game or any superficial game for that matter, just to keep women on their toes = manipulation

I respectfully disagree.

So-called "dread game" is nothing more than relationship management.

Generally the only thing that keeps the average employee on the job, and doing a good job, is the vague sense of the possibility of job loss.

Children are generally kept in line with the sense that they will be punished if they misbehave. Removal of parental affection.

Similarly, if a woman does not have any fear at all of punishment or loss of attention/loss of relationship, she will most certainly act out (because women are wired to need and desire guidance and discipline) and she will run roughshod over the man.

All relationships need to be managed. Women, at their core, sense that they need discipline and guidance. They intuit that deep down inside they are crazy. In fact, this is why they crave male stability. They do not possess it themselves. The male gives them form, just as the drinking glass, with it's physical constraints, limits the water and gives it form.

I find a similar issue with the word "manipulation". It is sometimes confused with "influence" The art of influence is very important to a man, and in fact is one of the primary tenets taught here, although it is not usually referred to as the art of influence. Anyone outside our community will call it "manipulation".

"Dread game" is just a dramatic, fun shorthand we use for relationship management.

 

[BeExcellent]

Gentlemen I would respectfully offer up the following. I think @Atom Smasher and @Spaz are saying the same thing just differently.

@guru1000 calls it a man’s sovereignty. I agree. Here is my take, as a woman who indeed holds out for an alpha high value man.

If a man’s use of dread game as opined by the OP is in any way contrived, in other words does not naturally spring from his core essence or is incongruent with his actual value, then it is false, a façade and in that case a manipulation. It may be a manipulation a man can keep up for a time even. But it is a lie. And as Spaz notes it will only suffice for a time if he isn’t truly a solid man. Women will eventually sniff out what a man is made of and if he is a house of cards then disillusionment will occur and be followed by the demise of the interaction (if the woman is someone worth having as a partner)...

If the man is in fact a solid man then dread game is a byproduct. It is well used as a tool to demonstrate desirability and there is no harm in using this tool intentionally at times, although often that will not be necessary.

Example. Last night I was at a performance by a musical artist that is fairly well known but the venue was intimate. I ran into a very handsome gentleman who I had met a couple of months ago when we were both dating other people. This man is a solid leader, a successful businessman, is socially adroit and self assured. He is also quite a nice physical specimen, tall, fit, handsome face, good hair etc. Neither the night that I met him (when we did NOT exchange contact info.) nor last night (when we did) was he pandering in any way. He stood tall, smiled broadly and was effortlessly comfortable in his own skin. He spent the evening chatting me up predominately and made clear that he wants to take me out once we are both back from upcoming business trips...but he also took time to acknowledge other women a time or two while we were chatting. I don’t need anyone to tell me other women have an interest in him...just as he can see the way other men notice me.

It’s subtle. But it’s there. And I am well aware of it as is he. Kind of part of the fabric if you will.

Contrived dread game is manipulative. It needs to be a natural outgrowth of your value as a man and in that case it IS a useful tool to confirm your dominance and masculine presence and is appropriate to deploy as a means of relationship management.

Just wanted to point out that distinction.

Cheers

 

[2Rocky]

Thank you BE, I think in short "you don't speak about it, it speaks for itself."

Which brings up the question....If your partner (in this case, female) acknowledges other admirers and states it to me (as a man), is that an attempt to disarm the Dread by bringing it out in the open?

An example being "That woman just totally checked you out". My reaction in most cases is that of "Well it happens...But I choose to be here with you right now."
Is that the right reaction on my part versus pretending I didn't notice?

 

[AJ84]

She should work for your affection because like others mentioned above, she will value that more than some simp fawning over her.

Dread game? Think about it: if the only time she ‘cares’ about you is when she thinks she will lose you, what does that say about her?
A woman should care about you and the relationship ALWAYS, not just when you send covert messages that she can be replaced. That’s not a woman who is truly into you, that’s just someone with low self esteem who doesn’t want to be alone. Those are the kinds of women who are more likely to play nice when they think they may get dumped, and then branch swing the second another decent offer comes along.

 

[AJ84]

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It depends on how the relationship started. If it started with her admiring you, then you don't have to manage anything. You just have to maintain your masculinity and purpose. But once you lose your masculine purpose, she will start to lose admiration for you and no amount of dread game is going to fool her into thinking you are still this great man she fell for.

This is why your purpose should always be first. It is the constant in your life. Your romantic relationship is more like a scenic backdrop. It is HER purpose in life. Her purpose is to seek a relationship with a great man.

Now, if you start off the relationship with dread game, it will never end. And once you've decided to say "Fvck it, I'm just going to be myself," she will feel like you've somehow "changed."

So always be on your masculine purpose in life. Come as you are. And give women a take it or leave it attitude. This way, there is no need to keep up any facade. And the only way a woman who already admires you can lose her admiration is if you were to give up on yourself.

Now, if a woman needs to know that you can get other women, than that is just surface level attraction. It's not admiration. A lot of women are addicted to this feeling of attraction. But there is no depth to it. They go from one attractive guy to the next. Every month they are talking about a different "attractive" guy they met. It is a revolving door.

In a true relationship, a woman admires the man for his character. Of course, she would need character herself for her to even recognize it. And as long as he maintains his character, there will be no lost of admiration.

However, there is no guarantee that the relationship won't end even if he remains solid throughout the relationship. There are no guarantees in life period. But just because it's over with a woman does not mean she no longer admires/loves you as a man. Sometimes the relationship takes its course and both parties desire to go their separate ways.

This is why I don't believe in relationship management. I am me. All the time. And I am going to stay true to myself regardless of what happens. Whatever happens to the relationship happens. I'm not going to try to save it. Because real love lets go and holds dear. If she feels the need to go elsewhere, I will give her my blessings and promote someone else from the stable. In fact, I encourage her to go out and explore life. The irony is the more you let women go, the more they are likely to want to stay.

The greatest lover is not the guy who creates the most needy women. He's the guy who left every woman better than when he found them.

Just want to add to your post because a lot of men and women apply some sort of dread which I think is really based on their own insecurities and fears. If you are good with who you are, like you said, and people can accept you as is or buzz off, you’re right, you won’t feel like you need to play those games. It will be clear that you have options just by your presence and vibe. Women do pick up on that. Truly confident guys are usually pretty chill and positive.

 

[AJ84]

So you finally admit that it is possible for a guy to simply show up and attract women with his presence and vibe and he doesn't have to do anything or even care what women want?

Hahaha now I didn’t say that!

 

[ubercat]

I think life will provide it without much need to try. We're in a nasty recession here now and it looks like I will have to go to another city to get my next job. I'm in a gig currently but it's the next step on the progression. So my generally very sweet girlfriend might have to put up with 6 months or more of an LDR. Plenty of dread baked into that.

Attractive new colleagues at work eccetera. It's always going to happen

 

[Spaz]

I respectfully disagree.

So-called "dread game" is nothing more than relationship management.

Generally the only thing that keeps the average employee on the job, and doing a good job, is the vague sense of the possibility of job loss.

Children are generally kept in line with the sense that they will be punished if they misbehave. Removal of parental affection.

Similarly, if a woman does not have any fear at all of punishment or loss of attention/loss of relationship, she will most certainly act out (because women are wired to need and desire guidance and discipline) and she will run roughshod over the man.

All relationships need to be managed. Women, at their core, sense that they need discipline and guidance. They intuit that deep down inside they are crazy. In fact, this is why they crave male stability. They do not possess it themselves. The male gives them form, just as the drinking glass, with it's physical constraints, limits the water and gives it form.

I find a similar issue with the word "manipulation". It is sometimes confused with "influence" The art of influence is very important to a man, and in fact is one of the primary tenets taught here, although it is not usually referred to as the art of influence. Anyone outside our community will call it "manipulation".

"Dread game" is just a dramatic, fun shorthand we use for relationship management.

I'm fine with anyone disagreeing with me.

However I will respond, there must be a distinction towards dread lest others reading this thinks 'creating dread' it is a form of gamesmanship or management.

And I do agree, there will always be management when dealing with people or relationships from a leadership perspective.

I shall use an analogy for others easy understanding - a handbag.

An original Birkin's and a cheap China made bag you find in flea markets.

For this analogy, let's say both bags was miraculously imbued with consciousness.

When a women buys a Birkin;

Will she treat it with disrespect? Will she abuse it? Will she be ashamed of it? Will she hate it?

The answer in all likelihood is NO.

Because the bag is Birkin, it has created a name for itself in this world, it has found or made its value.

She automatically feels dread to mistreat or even exposed her bag to harsh elements of nature, she cherishes it.

The Birkin handbag need NOT use its consciousness to create that dread, it was an automatic response of its owner.

Now for the cheap China made handbag.

Can we say the same (as the above with Birkin)?

The answer in all likelihood is NO.

Since it has not made a name for itself nor created a value to be appreciated, admired and loved by many women.

It's consciousness will naturally be drawn towards creating dread games in order to remain viable or wanted.

It's from fear and it's owner responds towards fear with dread.

In both instances, dread is produced, the difference is one is automatic and the other was induced into that state.

And the byproduct of those different dread is also different.

One creates feelings of admiration and respect = a form of love is then produced.

The other creates unease, hate, feelings of being used, etc and this is why I said in my previous post that's its unsustainable.

Similarly, we men too need to find our value, to create a name for ourselves, acquire excellence - learn management/leadership skills, learn masculinity, learn bravery, learn to get up each time he falls, learn to be greater then before, etc.

All in pursuit of being a great man - a great brand that women automatically feels dread to lose.