Building Comfort but not Killing the Mystery?

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Breaking rapport is easy. Every time she trots out an interview type question and you deflect it that will do it.

But what I'm saying is that you need to have the rapport before you can break it. Lot of guys go in too cool for school and just come across as abrasive and uncalibrated i.e. arseh0les

+1

If a thread is not building attraction or comfort, you can cut threads. I learned that in my earlier pickup days when julien was still on a rampage. @Op, deflect, change subject, and or even interrupt her to break rapport. Too much is annoying. Its affective like a n3g. Trolling, teasing etc.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

By the way, how much do you usually fluff/vibe/ramble @DEEZEDBRAH ? It's becoming a cornerstone of my Game. I'm starting to practice it on normal people too, not just a part of my Game only.

I guess this new Approach Strategy would be like a mix of Nerdlove, Mystery, and Roosh. Seems like it'd be pretty effective.

Learn from anybody especially nattys. Guys naturally good with girls. Learn more and get a style of your own. I never used lines or canned material but, after thousands of approaches, its cyclical. The same stuff that pulls one will pull another. The ice breaker openers are second nature. Blanc called it skip the open. Lower importance of it. I aporoach the way I would had i already smashed. Aloof, indifference, nonchalant, zero ****s given.

I read a lot. The more kno, the better, and the more you have to say. The times lightning strikes is a rarity whereby you two just hit it off. More often than not, you smash and have nothing in common outside bumping uglies lol. It cannot be contrived when it is there. Women drop off afterwards when there's no real syncing coupled with hypergamy and bigger better prize.

To keep Mystery, learn to reveal NOTHING. Don't reveal yourself. I met a monk years ago. He's from somewhere in Asia. Where's the whole get up. I was on a bender. We somehow had a chat. He was a mind ****. Like, if you asked a question, he will answer your question with a question (if at all). Pretty sure he was Buddhist and ordained. Most of the 1st World answers the question. DON'T. LEARN TO QUESTION A QUESTION. It makes people think. It also Vets the questionnaire, the motive, and intention. You hold your cards. You are a outlier. She must try to figure you out. Any such attempt to do so is interest level, is compliance, and submissive. Post smash, don't begin to givr away your cards. She hasn't earned it. Its why open communication is cucked. Its why divorce occurs. Its why open books are gay.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Learn from anybody especially nattys. Guys naturally good with girls. Learn more and get a style of your own. I never used lines or canned material but, after thousands of approaches, its cyclical. The same stuff that pulls one will pull another. The ice breaker openers are second nature. Blanc called it skip the open. Lower importance of it. I aporoach the way I would had i already smashed. Aloof, indifference, nonchalant, zero ****s given.

I read a lot. The more kno, the better, and the more you have to say. The times lightning strikes is a rarity whereby you two just hit it off. More often than not, you smash and have nothing in common outside bumping uglies lol. It cannot be contrived when it is there. Women drop off afterwards when there's no real syncing coupled with hypergamy and bigger better prize.

To keep Mystery, learn to reveal NOTHING. Don't reveal yourself. I met a monk years ago. He's from somewhere in Asia. Where's the whole get up. I was on a bender. We somehow had a chat. He was a mind ****. Like, if you asked a question, he will answer your question with a question (if at all). Pretty sure he was Buddhist and ordained. Most of the 1st World answers the question. DON'T. LEARN TO QUESTION A QUESTION. It makes people think. It also Vets the questionnaire, the motive, and intention. You hold your cards. You are a outlier. She must try to figure you out. Any such attempt to do so is interest level, is compliance, and submissive. Post smash, don't begin to givr away your cards. She hasn't earned it. Its why open communication is cucked. Its why divorce occurs. Its why open books are gay.

I make sure to read at least one book every single month.

And yeah bro I'll keep practicing it today. Once again, it makes my Daygame and NightGame kinda similar.

I love that quote from Dr. Nerdlove. "You're not locked into one phase, you're always building Attraction, always building Comfort, always moving towards the Seduction."

That BS Ramble skill is how girls build comfort, eventually enough to sleep with you. So I'll keep practicing it.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Also: this video is very very very relevant.

 

[nicksaiz65]

"Mystery is what builds Attraction, not comfort/rapport. Comfort/rapport ruins Attraction"

You are getting to know HER, but she's not getting to know YOU. She only gets little bits and pieces. As counterintuitive as it sounds, that's the best way I can think of to describe how to do this without killing that Mystery.

 

[lamath]

"Mystery is what builds Attraction, not comfort/rapport. Comfort/rapport ruins Attraction"

You are getting to know HER, but she's not getting to know YOU. She only gets little bits and pieces. As counterintuitive as it sounds, that's the best way I can think of to describe how to do this without killing that Mystery.

When you think about it, when she dont know.much about you her imaginations fills the gap.
What she imagine is most of the time way better than the boring reality.

 

[nicksaiz65]

When you think about it, when she dont know.much about you her imaginations fills the gap.
What she imagine is most of the time way better than the boring reality.

And with that it's almost as if she's gaming herself

 

[ubercat]

@nicksaiz65 mate your struggling with integrating all the content. All normal just keep pushing through. I can see u flipping. Yes say less but also build rapport. Then once she s invested push pull and make all the jerk moves you feel like.

It's like martial arts. I sometimes spar with this karate guy who s on the spectrum. And like a lot of autistic guys he s supernaturally strong like a bear. Believe me I give that a lot respect. If he ever got his machine hands on me he d tear me apart. My mate said he looks confused because he can't bring his power into play. I just flow around him.

Guys like me and Deez and g1000 r like water. If she needs a dominant that's what we do. If she needs more rapport ditto. I see it as feeding my sales funnel. My frame is a big steel ball covered in foam rubber. No little chickie or internet fake alpha is going to dent the ball.

 

[nicksaiz65]

@nicksaiz65 mate your struggling with integrating all the content. All normal just keep pushing through. I can see u flipping. Yes say less but also build rapport. Then once she s invested push pull and make all the jerk moves you feel like.

It's like martial arts. I sometimes spar with this karate guy who s on the spectrum. And like a lot of autistic guys he s supernaturally strong like a bear. Believe me I give that a lot respect. If he ever got his machine hands on me he d tear me apart. My mate said he looks confused because he can't bring his power into play. I just flow around him.

Guys like me and Deez and g1000 r like water. If she needs a dominant that's what we do. If she needs more rapport ditto. I see it as feeding my sales funnel. My frame is a big steel ball covered in foam rubber. No little chickie or internet fake alpha is going to dent the ball.

Always comes back to frame, ay mate?

But yeah, I think I get it now. I'm actually out doing some approaches rn and it's not as hard as I thought really... just ramble but don't talk about yourself. Counterintuitive but it works.

 

[Spaz]

@nicksaiz65 mate your struggling with integrating all the content. All normal just keep pushing through. I can see u flipping. Yes say less but also build rapport. Then once she s invested push pull and make all the jerk moves you feel like.

It's like martial arts. I sometimes spar with this karate guy who s on the spectrum. And like a lot of autistic guys he s supernaturally strong like a bear. Believe me I give that a lot respect. If he ever got his machine hands on me he d tear me apart. My mate said he looks confused because he can't bring his power into play. I just flow around him.

Guys like me and Deez and g1000 r like water. If she needs a dominant that's what we do. If she needs more rapport ditto. I see it as feeding my sales funnel. My frame is a big steel ball covered in foam rubber. No little chickie or internet fake alpha is going to dent the ball.

All 3 of you are stuck in 'teenage mode', still stuck with playing within the feminine frame.

Get out of it and grow up.

 

[guru1000]

@ubercat, you should have seen how I destroyed Spaz with simple logic in the egoless thread leaving him out to the wolves. He’s been chasing me around the forum like a little girl trying to save face ever since . Poor lil’ guy

 

[ubercat]

I don't doubt it. I called him out on his cheap rhetorical tricks couple of times and he just came back with insults. His tricks were old by Diogenes time. I don't care but the younglings here r impressionable.

 

[Spaz]

@ubercat, you should have seen how I destroyed Spaz with simple logic in the egoless thread leaving him out to the wolves. He’s been chasing me around the forum like a little girl trying to save face ever since . Poor lil’ guy

You mean after I derailed ur egoless train into a train wreck leaving no survivors?

I wish you luck with ur teenage level tricks.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I make sure to read at least one book every single month.

I am speed reader. My father put me onto goal by Brian Tracy. Tracy recommended 1book per week. I used to hate reading in school as a kid. I am now a junkie with reading. I clear several books a week on the regular. During commutes, I have audiobooks or podcasts going. Its superb. Currently reading the Tao Te Ching and the new millman book.

And yeah bro I'll keep practicing it today. Once again, it makes my Daygame and NightGame kinda similar.

I love that quote from Dr. Nerdlove. "You're not locked into one phase, you're always building Attraction, always building Comfort, always moving towards the Seduction."

That BS Ramble skill is how girls build comfort, eventually enough to sleep with you. So I'll keep practicing it.

Did you finish MM yet?

 

[nicksaiz65]

I am speed reader. My father put me onto goal by Brian Tracy. Tracy recommended 1book per week. I used to hate reading in school as a kid. I am now a junkie with reading. I clear several books a week on the regular. During commutes, I have audiobooks or podcasts going. Its superb. Currently reading the Tao Te Ching and the new millman book.



Did you finish MM yet?

I have. Read it twice lol. I agree with everything except locking yourself into phases like he does. Like "no comfort before Attraction" and so on. I agree more with Dr. Nerdlove in that aspect. But Mystery's book is excellent

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I have. Read it twice lol. I agree with everything except locking yourself into phases like he does. Like "no comfort before Attraction" and so on. I agree more with Dr. Nerdlove in that aspect. But Mystery's book is excellent

That's it man. Comp sci major lol thinking for himself. Big ups mate.

Its the bare bones basic essence that you extract. Emphasis on compliance. 3secs rule is Goat status. Sure, you can still approach but it is effective for a reason.

 

[BJP1991]

My intention wasn’t to shame him, and no where in my post did I suggest he call her so she can save face. She’s accountable to her own actions.

I stated why she likely dumped him, which is likely the reason she directly gave him and that reason makes sense to most women based on the risk of getting used for sex which is something a lot of women actually try to screen for. Again, this girl is accountable to her own actions, not him. He has no obligation to her what soever but that doesn’t change the fact that him not calling her was interpreted in a negative way by her and she dumped him as a result and that reaction is a based on something that many women do respond negatively too which is the guy not taking the initiative to reach out after dates and most definitely after sex. Right or wrong, it is what it is.

In an ideal world women would just take more initiative around these things and not be so passive, hopefully women do make some changes around that but we are not there yet.

This is all so interesting to finally catch up and read responses to my interaction.

For context, the reason I didn’t contact her for 3 days was because the very next morning (after the date we hooked up on) I flew to Maryland because my grandmother passed away and the funeral was Monday morning. The girl I took on the date knew about the funeral. As far as I’m concerned, F her for crying about me not texting her while I was away for that purpose. Shame on her (as far as I’m concerned).


Thanks for all the insight - I enjoy reading about this kind of stuff

 

[AJ84]

This is all so interesting to finally catch up and read responses to my interaction.

For context, the reason I didn’t contact her for 3 days was because the very next morning (after the date we hooked up on) I flew to Maryland because my grandmother passed away and the funeral was Monday morning. The girl I took on the date knew about the funeral. As far as I’m concerned, F her for crying about me not texting her while I was away for that purpose. Shame on her (as far as I’m concerned).


Thanks for all the insight - I enjoy reading about this kind of stuff

Oh, I thought it was a business trip and also to see family, like you stated in the casual texting thread. Maybe it’s a different girl, different situation if so my bad I don’t know how many girls you are dating lol. In any case you don’t owe her anything, there are other girls out there and sorry to hear about your grandmother.

 

[nicksaiz65]

That's it man. Comp sci major lol thinking for himself. Big ups mate.

Its the bare bones basic essence that you extract. Emphasis on compliance. 3secs rule is Goat status. Sure, you can still approach but it is effective for a reason.

Yeah man, very very useful stuff. The old school pickup stuff very much applies to this day and age. I'm kind of making up my own Game that is personalized for me. It's a mix of Mystery, Nerdlove and Roosh.

The Nerdlove Attraction Plan starts by building Comfort/Rapport and then building attraction by flirting as you move on, moving closer and closer to attraction as you go through the set. When I say Comfort/Rapport, I don't mean like a Beta Male though(calling her 3 times a week, telling her everything about himself, etc.) I mean by rambling and getting her comfortable talking to me. Lots of different conversational threads. I'm still a mysterious, shady guy that she has to work to get information from. I give her little bits and pieces at a time. Mystery says you have to do 90% of the talking at first, so a ramble is definitely necessary. Eventually I'm going to start writing my own personalized routines to fall back on as well, like Mystery suggests.

The more I go out in the field and then re-read the books again, the more this stuff seems to make sense to me.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Im just myself on date lolll

I usualy try to let her talk, but for me and my ADHD it can be hard so usualy it turns into me doing 60% of the chit chat.

My strategy is mostly brutal honesty in a ****y/funny non apologistic way.
So im like **** commonalities, she tells me she is spiritual i just tell her i dont beleive in that stuff, then im make fun of her in a playful ****y/funny way..
This can be tricky, i sometime dig myself a very deep hole witht the crap i say, but idgaf about it.


Eye contact, some well timed smile and light touching for better result.

I realize that "Be Yourself" is the most cliched and useless advice in the dating community, but do you think that I could get away with just being my pure natural self when interacting with women as long as I'm following a decent Game Strategy so I don't fvck it up? I know not to be a slapd*ck cornball in general. But just being out and thinking "ok, hold a masculine frame, hold a masculine frame" is extremely mentally taxing