Bringing up Touchy subjects ... when to do so?

[John9999]

I never know what to do on this one. As example,,, I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, been clean and sober now for 34 years. Do I bring it up before we meet? or wait till we meet? Never really know. It rare cases it is a deal killer cause the woman does not want to drink if I do not. Other subjects include legal problems in the past, financial failure in the past,etc....

what you guys think?

 

[fastlife]

Before you meet? No (might be time to drop the OLD if it consistently doesn’t give you the results you want ).

But if it was me that’d be something I’d throw in right off the open. Kind of like: “This is who I am. I own it. I’m high value enough to put everything in the open without feeling shame. Take it or leave it.”

Or you could hint around it mysteriously. Sort of throw out some bait, “Oh, I don’t want to talk about it” or “You’re too innocent. Don’t trouble yourself about it” gamut.

Or, on the other hand, you don’t have to talk about it at ALL. No one’s entitled to that level of disclosure.

Congrats on turning things around btw.

 

[John9999]

thankx.... finally a woman who is actually interested, initiates communication, asks about me , etc... just do not want to blow it.

 

[Kotaix]

Why do you need to tell her? And why are you so defined by your past failures, are you not a better person now? He was then and You are here, now. A man who identifies with failure will fail.

The measure of a man is how well he gets up after being down. If you come across as a chill guy, you should be fine.

 

[Julian]

Dont tell her sht dude. Shes interested in you now not the scumbag you were 34 yrs ago. Lol people really wanna bring up some old sht like this? Wtf dude don’t sabotage yourself and dont define yourself by the fact you were a junky. Drug addicts get annoying “hurr dur ive been sober for 20 yrs” bych nobody gives a fuk the more u talk about it and make it some kind of big deal the more you give it power and make urself look like a bych

Just say u dont drink, simple. If she asks why just say you have an alcohol allergy and keep it moving.


Seriously hate how drug addicts define their life by that sht forever.

Source: friend who lives in a mansion grouphome for free due to cali welfare state and druggys live nicer then working individuals

 

[Serenity]

been clean and sober now for 34 years.

Nobody worth your time would worry about that, especially because it's over 3 decades in the past. Seriously, that's such a long time. It should be irrelevant, I wouldn't care at least.

 

[Poonani Maker]

After you fvck her for the 5th time.

 

[2Rocky]

Before you propose to her, or after she accepts said proposal.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Why do you need to tell her? And why are you so defined by your past failures, are you not a better person now? He was then and You are here, now. A man who identifies with failure will fail.

The measure of a man is how well he gets up after being down. If you come across as a chill guy, you should be fine.

Gold.

This is in keeping with my oft-expressed maxum...Erase your “story” (or your history).

That guy no longer exists if you delete him from your mind and change your story.