advanced game: texting

[EyeOnThePrize]

most dating coaches and PUAs talk about keeping texting to a minimal and to stay off the phone but there is some power in being able to facilitate a woman's emotions through text. i used to be able to do this as a teen all the time, i think it was due to letting myself get worked up and letting the texting heat up. as i grew up some women weren't as expressive through text for one reason or another and some would play games. they seemed to get more pleasure out of the games rather than eventually fulfilling fantasies. so i dropped back to keeping it extremely simple and letting them do all the talking. i keep my responses brief, light, and never ask questions unless it pertains to making plans.

i have a couple examples of that now. every few months my ex will randomly send me a funny picture or statement reminiscing of our relationship. someone like CW would say "she's trying to see you, facilitate meeting up, if she declines on two occasions keep the texts short and tell her you're busy, let her bring up meeting up." he preaches to say something like 'great hearing from you but i have to run, keep in touch'. while this is fine i wonder why silence doesn't communicate the same thing. she knows she can get in touch and silence conveys i'm busy. do i really need to say "hey i'm busy keep in touch" or "great hearing from you keep in touch"? is it just more polite and removes any doubt that i'm upset? it seems unnecessary. i really don't care about getting back together but wouldn't mind her as a plate for sex.

another situation is an old FWB will reach out, ask to come over, then once i say 'sure' she won't show up and won't say anything else. i don't bother asking if she's still coming because it seems disrespectful of her to fake out like that to begin with. i simply go on and do other things. a few months later she'll try the same thing. i'm inclined to simply ignore her from this point on but i would love to learn how to coerce her into coming through. from the times she did come over this seemed to stem from being more emotional with my texting, more personable, but i'm not sure if that was a fluke.

another FWB is flakey. she used to be at my beck and call(because she thought i would be exclusive with her), but now she seems to purposefully decline or ignore when i tell her to come over. how could i go about regaining the power with her? silence and distance? feigning interest in exclusivity?

my usual response to flakes is ignoring them because they seem like a waste of time. why should i commit any time or attention to someone that doesn't respect either? but i'm curious about how to start learning the more advanced nuances of texting. it seems there's an element of knowing how to facilitate certain emotions over text, gradually escalating things in a way she can feel but not consciously detect.

how would one even go about starting to learn? simply trial by fire? women all seem so different. there must be some simple principles and guidelines to go by as a sort of skeleton to successfully facilitating the emotions i desire. is it through being unconditional and coming from a place of abundance and positivity? is it more machiavellian and dubious and manipulative? or should i just keep it simple and play the numbers game until i find women that cooperate?

for all three examples above the simple answer is to simply remove myself until they begin to show respect again. but i won't know if they're showing respect unless i respond and continue a conversation. this again gives them the chance to flake. it makes me think there must be an effective hook to mitigate bad behavior because my current inclination is to simply ignore them all indefinitely and find more consistent girls. what comes to mind is she must show a very obvious sign of submission. she must be EXTREMELY nice in a text to get a response and she should pose a question, otherwise the infinite ignoring continues.

thoughts?

 

[Medina]

I think women want to work a little bit for your time

And flaking can be avoided this way too

So if you plan a dinner... she must bring the wine

Texting is the same, good fun, rapport building etc

But she must put the effort in too

As soon as I sense "no work" I stop replying

And a few days later... ding ding!

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Texting isn't advanced game.AAdvanced game is takin your **** out and instructing her what to do.

 

[Spaz]

You're got too much feelings for women, so much so that's it's likely to be overwhelming for them.

Divert those excessive emotions to other pursuits like poetry, painting, musical instrumentation, singing, stage acting, etc.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

from what i've studied so far and from what i remember when i was big into texting when i was a teen is that it's not so much what you say but the feelings you invoke. women are soft for words.

a working theory:
texting is one step removed from a phone call, and a phone call is one step removed from being face to face. if you can invoke feelings in person you're ready for phone game. when you can invoke feelings in phone game you're ready for texting game. and once you have all three down you are unstoppable.

One of the keys i'm sensing in my experience so far is knowing when to text something bold. i have to be able to sense the type of girl i'm dealing with when i meet her and extract as much info as i can so i have a decent idea of what i think will invoke sexual desire in her via text. this obviously becomes second nature over time.

i got a number yesterday and called the girl just now. she picked up and was talking with a really sexy voice, giggling at our conversation. then we planned when to meet up and i fumbled it a bit at the end with a slightly awkward bye. after the call i sent a text saying 'you've got a really sexy phone voice.' my first text ever to her. no response yet going on 20 min, oof. obviously i won't send anything else and consider this one scrapped, assuming she'll come back with an excuse or won't say anything at all. if she comes back with confirmation or a late text i'll be pleasantly surprised.

analysis:
i felt i fumbled the call a bit at the end and should have left it there, sticking to our plan like dating coaches advise. i came from a place of slight desperation in that text and maybe she could sense it. it's a bit over the top what with the VERY in it and might look i'm compensating. i won't overthink it, but i think the very fact that i'm sitting here glancing at my phone every few minutes(i have audible and visual notifications turned off aside from a small icon showing) is proof enough of super rusty texting game.

It's all good though I got more numbers to play with and practice on.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Texting can kill your vibe faster then a rattle snake

you warned me lol no doubt. vibe has to be sexy, relentless and unshakable. i broke a couple rules i've had for myself. one is i texted something not plan related. two is i validated her. i'll stick to the rules again for now. in terms of game i bit off more than i could chew, but hey that's how we improve.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

One other thing I noticed was I became too outcome focused on the phone towards the end, I think that was the main problem. This caused me to rush rather than slow down and enjoy the conversation. When she said 'that sounds perfect' I could have said 'ooo I like when you say that' to get another giggle out of her and take my time. Instead I was a bit too much business. This subtle reinforcement of good behavior is a useful thing to remember.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I used to use text only for setting dates, but a guy I really respect encouraged me to try using text to gain a little investment and build rapport. But you have to be careful how you do it. The rule of thumb he advised me is to only chat if they've agreed to a date at a specific time and place. If that's been agreed to, then you can build rapport over text but you need to not overdo it. She should be initiating at least half the time.

I've only been experimenting with this recently and so far it seems to be working well but I need more time to test it out with more women.

I think the reason so many people advise to use text for setting dates only is that so many guys get so excited that they just puke their guts out over text, get way, way too invested, way too early, send way too many messages, respond way too quickly, are there for her any time she wants to talk about anything, and give out their whole life story really fast. If you aren't doing that, and she's agreed to a date, I think a little bit of texting to build rapport is a good thing.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

I used to use text only for setting dates, but a guy I really respect encouraged me to try using text to gain a little investment and build rapport. But you have to be careful how you do it. The rule of thumb he advised me is to only chat if they've agreed to a date at a specific time and place. If that's been agreed to, then you can build rapport over text but you need to not overdo it. She should be initiating at least half the time.

I've only been experimenting with this recently and so far it seems to be working well but I need more time to test it out with more women.

I think the reason so many people advise to use text for setting dates only is that so many guys get so excited that they just puke their guts out over text, get way, way too invested, way too early, send way too many messages, respond way too quickly, are there for her any time she wants to talk about anything, and give out their whole life story really fast. If you aren't doing that, and she's agreed to a date, I think a little bit of texting to build rapport is a good thing.

You're absolutely right and that's spot on to what I've read about seduction and power in general. That maintaining a calm mind is invaluable. Never too excited, always reserved. A calm mind cultivates patience, and is how we can stay most aware and come to our most clever conclusions.

Hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself and over time. Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually. And always say less than necessary.

 

[guru1000]

I used to use text only for setting dates, but a guy I really respect encouraged me to try using text to gain a little investment and build rapport.

I bet he is a smart guy.

Texting is a great tool and probably the only reason I can keep so many in rotation with some I don’t even see for months.

If I want to build desire, I give her attention and then space.

If I want to push her back because I need more time without her, then I validate her and tell her how much I miss her.

I wouldn’t have the time to do such over the phone or in person. Who would have the time with such an army?

I encourage all to learn to use texting to effect their will. The old Manosphere guys who preach to avoid texting except for dates operate from fear; fear that will say something to deter her. Just operating from that frame of “fear to deter” WILL deter.

There should be no Rule a man needs to follow to attract women. That’s the correct frame. Now if he’s needy and thus needs a rule to appear he is not, then address the neediness first, dont implement a rule to not appear needy.

The correct and only frame is one of authenticity. This empowers a man which allows him to effect his will fully and still bear the greatest fruits.

How does that feel Men? I’m giving you permission to be YOU, unapologetically, uninhibited and fearless.

 

[Trump]

Personally I would not recommend texting to establish rapport. Any emotion, humor, or sarcasm in text with a woman can be misinterpreted as offensive or rude. Men should also remember, anything you text her is public knowledge and will be shown to anyone and everyone she knows and you know.

If you have text "game", go for it. I just think its a medium to get her face to face.

 

[Spaz]

Texting is a feminine activity.

If a man is exclusively using texting to lure women then he's playing within a feminine mindframe.

Do I text women?

Sure do, but it's not initiated by me, mostly I'm responding to their texting and I keep it short as its my natural state, whilst women could write 'novels' in their texts.

That's their game, let it remain theirs.

Opposites attracts.

If u r the same then it won't be long before those very women get bored with you being just like them.

 

[dk1990S111]

Personally I would not recommend texting to establish rapport. Any emotion, humor, or sarcasm in text with a woman can be misinterpreted as offensive or rude.

Lol yuuup, other day I marched with this hottie on bumble. Profile said something about “I promise I’m not as basic as my pictures make me look”. Messaged her “so what do you like to get from Starbucks?” And she gets all pissy saying “is that supposed to be a dumb white girl joke?”