How do I know if wife is BPD

[Late Bloomer]

how do i separate baseline female insanity (BFI) from full blown BPD diagnostically speaking?

My wife:

1. blames me for all of her issues
2. screams at me about the tiniest things
3. no matter how much i do, its never even close to enough
4. wants me to suffer and "feel" her emotions
5. wants me to do her chores
6. has slapped in the face while arguing over nothing
7. curses at me while fighting (i never do this)
8. is disrespectful and unappreciative when i help out - which is too often (cooking, cleaning, kids chores, etc)
9. withholds sex (completely)
10. creates drama and strife every weekend out of frustration, makes whole house miserable

I was an ideal husband for years and years. patience, virtue, commitment, always being the bigger person.

Is she nuts? how does this stack up to your experiences?

my girlfriends never treat me this way.

 

[Billtx49]

Numbers 2 & 6 are your biggest clues that something is seriously wrong with her or your marriage.

 

[fastlife]

I was an ideal husband for years and years. patience, virtue, commitment, always being the bigger person.

Might have more to do with this than BPD. Every girl has BPD traits when she's stuck with a guy she's no longer attracted to. And, unfortunately, patience, virtue, commitment, and always being the bigger person is a recipe for losing attraction.

On the other hand, she could be BPD. But why would it matter at this point? Any reason you're still with her?

And your gfs don't treat you this way because you don't live with them

 

[Julian]

Why is she even your wife. If she was bpd all this bs would have been apparent in the first 6 months.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Might have more to do with this than BPD. Every girl has BPD traits when she's stuck with a guy she's no longer attracted to. And, unfortunately, patience, virtue, commitment, and always being the bigger person is a recipe for losing attraction.

On the other hand, she could be BPD. But why would it matter at this point? Any reason you're still with her?

And your gfs don't treat you this way because you don't live with them

thanks fastlife - i think you are spot on. I have flipped the script in the past weeks to employ game and can see it might help. the think that is keeping me in the relationships is young kids and shared finances.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Why is she even your wife. If she was bpd all this bs would have been apparent in the first 6 months.

I met her at 22 and thought i was supposed to live a blue pill life. common mistake. knew something was off but ignored it.

 

[metalwater]

My wife:

1. blames me for all of her issues
2. screams at me about the tiniest things
3. no matter how much i do, its never even close to enough
4. wants me to suffer and "feel" her emotions
5. wants me to do her chores
6. has slapped in the face while arguing over nothing
7. curses at me while fighting (i never do this)
8. is disrespectful and unappreciative when i help out - which is too often (cooking, cleaning, kids chores, etc)
9. withholds sex (completely)
10. creates drama and strife every weekend out of frustration, makes whole house miserable

I was an ideal husband for years and years. patience, virtue, commitment, always being the bigger person.

Do you already then know about the reddit group marriedredpill. If not it is thousands of guys with similar issue. The reading that is suggested there covers all these topics. Her interest level is low, the reasons are all described in marriedredpill and also many in the DJ bible. If you did not have a chance to read that stuff yet, it is useful, or as a refresher if it was some time since you seen it.

either her interest level raises due to some actions you will take or you next her or you continue to live in hell.

probably the list of crap she is doing is even longer than what you wrote....

BTW: this situation is really common, and you can make changes to get out of hell.

 

[Spaz]

When a woman completely loses respect for her man = she actively despises him (refer to ur list and is should be more).

A women's love => admiration and respect.

If she doesn't admire you, she cannot respect you, and if she doesn't respect you she doesn't love you.

 

[Late Bloomer]

When a woman completely loses respect for her man = she actively despises him (refer to ur list and is should be more).

A women's love => admiration and respect.

If she doesn't admire you, she cannot respect you, and if she doesn't respect you she doesn't love you.

Thank you

 

[Late Bloomer]

No ""BPD or flip the script"", Just get rid best you can lol.

You married the bird in completely scarcity, then became game-aware. Fvcking get rid. Clownshoes.

Truth hurts but it's true

 

[Late Bloomer]

Do you already then know about the reddit group marriedredpill. If not it is thousands of guys with similar issue. The reading that is suggested there covers all these topics. Her interest level is low, the reasons are all described in marriedredpill and also many in the DJ bible. If you did not have a chance to read that stuff yet, it is useful, or as a refresher if it was some time since you seen it.

either her interest level raises due to some actions you will take or you next her or you continue to live in hell.

probably the list of crap she is doing is even longer than what you wrote....

BTW: this situation is really common, and you can make changes to get out of hell.

You are correct - the list is way deeper than the 10 items listed

 

[Spaz]

Just so you know, there's no turning this around once it had reached the stage you're in when you're still cohabiting with her.

Only possible way for you to return to the position of power is to remove ur presence completely.

And then work on being a greater man.

Spend a couple of months reading materials on Sosuave DJ Bible and more importantly put it into practise until it becomes part and parcel of ur psyche.

You need to practise it because you can never get rid of the 'old you', it's always omnipresent but you can train a 'new you' to balance out the old. A man needs to find/build his worth - there's no shortcuts.

Once you're a greater man, your wife will admire you (efforts, dedication, etc) and she will respect who you're finally become.

The only problem I see here, if you're achieved greatness, is that you'll dump ur wife and get a more younger sexier one.

 

[xplt]

deja-vus everywhere...

 

[xplt]

Just so you know, there's no turning this around once it had reached the stage you're in when you're still cohabiting with her.

Only possible way for you to return to the position of power is to remove ur presence completely.

And then work on being a greater man.

Spend a couple of months reading materials on Sosuave DJ Bible and more importantly put it into practise until it becomes part and parcel of ur psyche.

You need to practise it because you can never get rid of the 'old you', it's always omnipresent but you can train a 'new you' to balance out the old. A man needs to find/build his worth - there's no shortcuts.

Once you're a greater man, your wife will admire you (efforts, dedication, etc) and she will respect who you're finally become.

The only problem I see here, if you're achieved greatness, is that you'll dump ur wife and get a more younger sexier one.

Listen to him. Only this will help you.

When i made my turnaround, i didn't withdraw from my ex and tried to improve my relationship. But she complained about me being too confident and focused on career and sport. She hated that i leveled up myself. Never understood that till now

 

[Late Bloomer]

Just so you know, there's no turning this around once it had reached the stage you're in when you're still cohabiting with her.

Only possible way for you to return to the position of power is to remove ur presence completely.

And then work on being a greater man.

Spend a couple of months reading materials on Sosuave DJ Bible and more importantly put it into practise until it becomes part and parcel of ur psyche.

You need to practise it because you can never get rid of the 'old you', it's always omnipresent but you can train a 'new you' to balance out the old. A man needs to find/build his worth - there's no shortcuts.

Once you're a greater man, your wife will admire you (efforts, dedication, etc) and she will respect who you're finally become.

The only problem I see here, if you're achieved greatness, is that you'll dump ur wife and get a more younger sexier one.

thank you spaz - very thoughtful, i agree.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Listen to him. Only this will help you.

When i made my turnaround, i didn't withdraw from my ex and tried to improve my relationship. But she complained about me being too confident and focused on career and sport. She hated that i leveled up myself. Never understood that till now

i get this XPLT - thank you

 

[Focal core]

Usually they will avoid real intimacy at all cost by keeping the bomb exploded when things seems to be fine for a while. They love drama only to feel alive.. They are an empty vessel train wreck.. Your wife seems to have bpd traits.. Here is more accurate self diagnostic from DSM V.

In the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), [4] BPD is diagnosed on the basis of (1) a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and (2) marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by at least five of the following:

• Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment; this does not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in criterion 5
• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
• Markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (eg, spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)[5] ; this does not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in criterion 5
• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
• Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (eg, intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
• Chronic feelings of emptiness
• Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (eg, frequent displays of temper, constant anger, or recurrent physical fights)
• Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

 

[Epic Days]

how do i separate baseline female insanity (BFI) from full blown BPD diagnostically speaking?

My wife:

1. blames me for all of her issues
2. screams at me about the tiniest things
3. no matter how much i do, its never even close to enough
4. wants me to suffer and "feel" her emotions
5. wants me to do her chores
6. has slapped in the face while arguing over nothing
7. curses at me while fighting (i never do this)
8. is disrespectful and unappreciative when i help out - which is too often (cooking, cleaning, kids chores, etc)
9. withholds sex (completely)
10. creates drama and strife every weekend out of frustration, makes whole house miserable

I was an ideal husband for years and years. patience, virtue, commitment, always being the bigger person.

Is she nuts? how does this stack up to your experiences?

my girlfriends never treat me this way.

All of those traits are in women. If she uses them in her survival strategy with you then something is amiss.
All of those have a saying attached to them like “if the wife ain’t happy, no one is going to be happy.”
Ever hear that said before?

If you are bold enough...here is the question you need to ask her if she is turning ugly.

Put your hands on your hips.
“Ashley? (or whatever name) What have you done to me or us or are planning to do to me that I don’t know about?!”

Pay attention to the reaction

 

[Late Bloomer]

All of those traits are in women. If she uses them in her survival strategy with you then something is amiss.
All of those have a saying attached to them like “if the wife ain’t happy, no one is going to be happy.”
Ever hear that said before?

If you are bold enough...here is the question you need to ask her if she is turning ugly.

Put your hands on your hips.
“Ashley? (or whatever name) What have you done to me or us or are planning to do to me that I don’t know about?!”

Pay attention to the reaction

thanks for replying - i have done something similar and i get rolled eyes, a look of disgust, and an audible dissent.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Usually they will avoid real intimacy at all cost by keeping the bomb exploded when things seems to be fine for a while. They love drama only to feel alive.. They are an empty vessel train wreck.. Your wife seems to have bpd traits.. Here is more accurate self diagnostic from DSM V.

In the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), [4] BPD is diagnosed on the basis of (1) a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and (2) marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by at least five of the following:

• Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment; this does not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in criterion 5
• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
• Markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (eg, spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)[5] ; this does not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in criterion 5
• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
• Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (eg, intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
• Chronic feelings of emptiness
• Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (eg, frequent displays of temper, constant anger, or recurrent physical fights)
• Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

thanks focal - she is probably on the fence - she strongly displays 3 of these traits.