Blacksheep
Master Don Juan
This is really true. I face that looking to some past experiences and how I gave up on my dreams and goals only to satisfy a woman or my parents... or even just to don't be rejected by someone. Now I can see how much it cost to me.I’ll also add that the more you don’t chase your goals and sacrifice the time you need to spend on them for someone else’s goal, you literally reduce your own. I’ve had interesting realizations about this lately.
As an analogy, it’s like the flow of energy. It can only be transferred or changed. You have a finite amount of energy. By spending time on things that are not your own choosing or passion, you reduce your own goals in favor of another’s. You sacrifice your value as a man and being to increase the value of another. Your energy (state, being and value) is being transferred, then changed (goals are sacrificed and personal integrity/value is given to someone else).
Under no circumstance are you to do this. Do not be malicious toward your fellow mankind, but do not sacrifice who you are either. You do not owe anybody your own value and integrity. They need to cultivate their own.
And breaking down this negative mindsets involves deconstruct a lot of things imposed on me since my childhood.
There is also a big relation with my dad: everytime I was single he made like a psychological terror and tirelessly tries to say things to pick up on my weak point, so I can follow his model (getting married and live a family style life, as he says). His speeches are all about guilt and blame... and when I was going through a weak period, then those words worked. Now I know he never wanted any good from me... everything he says I can see how manipulative it is, and fortunatelly I'm dealing better nowadays.
PS.: I think he just want me to be as unhappy as he is with his marriage or pusue some kind of security he thinks he got. I see he treating my mother like rubbish literally.
But it stills plays a rule and it will take some more effort to break those things.