Date tonight. Woman playing hard to get

[peanutbuttablunts]

I posted about this girl a few weeks back. Some of you said it was headed for the ljbf talk and I started sensing that as well. I basically pulled back fully, focused on myself, talked to other girls, still remained friendly when we saw each other in person but stopped "going for it". Not sure if it was that or what but she took some time off work, went to a music festival, then when she got back in town her deamenor was much different toward me, standing closer, more playful, more touching and flirting, giving me butt bumps and other things. I flirted with her at one point when she spilled some coffee saying "look at you making a mess everywhere you go" and her response was "but I like it messy" *smirk*... Very different from how things were heading before the pull back. This all seemed like a green light to me. So I asked her if she has gone to the local summer fair yet, her response "you trying to take me?" And we set up plans to go, today happens to be that day. I got some oneitis here for sure, not that I haven't been talking to other girls, there's 3 in particular (that the girl in question knows mind you) that clearly want my nuts, I'm not attracted to any of them though (I can tell they talk/gossip about me), getting in bed with any of those 3 just is never going to happen, and all the other girls I have been pursuing beyond that have low to no interest, flaking and etc. Despite the flirting I'm still not sure if this one is interested in me. I'm pretty much expecting her to flake tonight. I'm honestly not sure how to handle this, though, made definite plans but left it up in the air as to when we plan on going "later in the day when it has cooled off". She said some things that made me think that the tone for this is an actual date, yet she seems to be leading the direction. I'll be honest I'm pretty much a ship in the dark here. How do I maintain/recapture frame? Should I text her first or wait for her? I feel like she was just using me for beta attention but now things seem a little more heated. I tried kino early on and it had little success, now she flipped the plot and was using kino on me....I'm sorta confused and unsure what to do. Help ! Lol

 

[Robert28]

I’m of the thought that it’s not your game that gets you friend zoned, it’s the girl. I say that because my personality will attract one girl and make her want me but then I’ll find those that friend zone me. Girls love to friend zone, they get off on it. If I felt I was headed down that path I would ghost the absolute fvck out of her. Forever. Women get one chance, per lifetime with me. No exceptions. If you chose to friend zone me that’s on you and how you chose to use your one chance. You can run around and tell everyone we are friends but you’re going to look mighty stupid when we never even talk and you’re claiming to be my friend to people.lol

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

I’m of the thought that it’s not your game that gets you friend zoned, it’s the girl. I say that because my personality will attract one girl and make her want me but then I’ll find those that friend zone me. Girls love to friend zone, they get off on it. If I felt I was headed down that path I would ghost the absolute fvck out of her. Forever. Women get one chance, per lifetime with me. No exceptions. If you chose to friend zone me that’s on you and how you chose to use your one chance. You can run around and tell everyone we are friends but you’re going to look mighty stupid when we never even talk and you’re claiming to be my friend to people.lol

Damn so you think she pulled me back in just simply so that she could friend zone me later?! That would be outright psychotic behavior. I would be sure to keep my personal belongings locked up when I was around her should this be the case. Thanks for the warning.

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

Stop trying to micromanage this.

You’re going to the fair tonight.

She’s either coming with you or she isn’t.

If she doesn’t, you’re going to see and flirt with other women at the fair.

If she decides to go with her girlfriends, she’s going to see you flirt with other women at the fair.

Whatever happens, you’re going to that fair tonight feeling like you look damn good and you’re ready to have some fun.

Epic reply

 

[Robert28]

Damn so you think she pulled me back in just simply so that she could friend zone me later?! That would be outright psychotic behavior. I would be sure to keep my personal belongings locked up when I was around her should this be the case. Thanks for the warning.

Ummmm yeah, women do that stupid ****. They would rather waste your time friending you than have you go off and meet someone else that wanted to date you.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I'm pretty much expecting her to flake tonight. What you fear, you attract

I'm honestly not sure how to handle this, though, made definite plans but left it up in the air as to when we plan on going "later in the day when it has cooled off". That was a mistake. You should have set a definite time, so you aren't in this predicament
I maintain/recapture frame? Should I text her first or wait for her? Text her "I am going to the fair at 4pm, want me to pick you up?"

Her : (anything but yes)
You: Ok, well maybe see you there then






I feel like she was just using me for beta attention but now things seem a little more heated. I tried kino early on and it had little success, now she flipped the plot and was using kino on me....I'm sorta confused and unsure what to do. Help ! Lol
She is hot and cold, trying to grab frame and get you to chase. Text her that you will pick her up at 4, and next time? Set a definite time.

Spot-on advice here.

Your biggest mistake was not being specific in your plan, women LOVE a man with a plan. Being too nebulous makes you look uncertain, weak, and wishy-washy. I always plan the date; day, time, venue--all they have to do is say "yes." And anything but a firm yes or counter offer is a NO in my book and I cut and move on.

Lately, on OLD after a few message exchanges I've been doing this and hearing nothing back, even after a rapid message exchange. So I'll wait a reasonable amount of time, a few hours to a day or two depending, and just cut them if they don't reply. I have developed a hair trigger now for games and other BS and will cut immediately.

If this girl does flake on you, you're done with her forever, got it?

Good luck.

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

Spot-on advice here.

Your biggest mistake was not being specific in your plan, women LOVE a man with a plan. Being too nebulous makes you look uncertain, weak, and wishy-washy. I always plan the date; day, time, venue--all they have to do is say "yes." And anything but a firm yes or counter offer is a NO in my book and I cut and move on.

Lately, on OLD after a few message exchanges I've been doing this and hearing nothing back, even after a rapid message exchange. So I'll wait a reasonable amount of time, a few hours to a day or two depending, and just cut them if they don't reply. I have developed a hair trigger now for games and other BS and will cut immediately.

If this girl does flake on you, you're done with her forever, got it?

Good luck.

I had been done with her, at least in my mind I was. This Happens to me sometimes, though. I will be content with myself and focusing on my success in my career, be happy with where things are and most importantly not feel lonely or bad for myself. Then some attractive woman comes along brainwashes me and stabs this feeling to death like Manson's brainwashed concubines slashed up Sharon tate. I'm almost believing now what Robert said, she might have noticed the attention i was getting from the other girls, and stepped in to show them "I'm the alpha-***** here". She's trying to brainwash me. It's also possible she went to the music festival thinking in her female brain "this is where I'm going to meet the man of my dreams" and when she wasn't whisked away by horse and carriage (ie she had some sloppy ecstacy induced sex with a rando on the last day) I started to seem like a not so shabby option after all. I think it's a combo of both, I'm not necessarily ljbf'd quite yet, the vibe I'm getting is it's a possibility, her interest is medium to low, and she's gonna throw the ball in my court a few times to see if I'm man enough. Ripdash: most definitely, if she flakes it's definitely over for good. At this point if I don't at least get to 2nd base I'm pretty much going to throw this in the ljbf pile, which has been growing for me lately. I'm not 100% sure what I've been doing wrong but I'm starting to see what you guys are saying, I seem wishy-washy and as if I lack backbone. I need to show direction, intent, "what I want" in a more forceful manner, no maybes, no questions, I lead and I go to that damn fair regardless of her, and she comes with me, sort of thing.

With several other girls I was not doing this, I was trying to court them, ask them if they want to hang out, just in general being wishy washy.

 

[Dan.Lifestyle]

This Happens to me sometimes, though. I will be content with myself and focusing on my success in my career, be happy with where things are and most importantly not feel lonely or bad for myself. Then some attractive woman comes along brainwashes me and stabs this feeling to death like Manson's brainwashed concubines slashed up Sharon tate.

Yep, it's just their nature. Men and women are opposites and that's the easiest way to explain why you've been feeling like this.

As for your situation just remember pulling away and focusing on yourself got you where you're at today. She saw you losing interest so she chased you. Women love a guy that they don't know if they can get, that they have to try their best for. Let her chase you all the way into her bed. Good luck.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I’m of the thought that it’s not your game that gets you friend zoned, it’s the girl. I say that because my personality will attract one girl and make her want me but then I’ll find those that friend zone me. Girls love to friend zone, they get off on it. If I felt I was headed down that path I would ghost the absolute fvck out of her. Forever. Women get one chance, per lifetime with me. No exceptions. If you chose to friend zone me that’s on you and how you chose to use your one chance. You can run around and tell everyone we are friends but you’re going to look mighty stupid when we never even talk and you’re claiming to be my friend to people.lol

Exactly, I don't care WHO she is, in business that I see EVERY DAY, doesn't matter, she is either a potential sex interest or she's not a friend. I don't care HOW cozy she gets towards me, I don't care if she is married to my co-worker. Now, I went to a family reunion this month. I come really close to "being friends" with these female cousins and aunts, wives of blood relatives etc. We are cozy, but Still, we aren't friends per se. I appreciate their unconditional caring though, like when I got bit by some fireants. I appreciate their getting some aloe vera to take away the sting. One of my 2nd cousins and I kissed when we were prepubescent, as did my 1st cousin with one of em's sisters. I see her now, almost 40 and wow what a change, she's blue-eyed still very good-looking but dressed like a hoe and her husband comes to my table after we'd been talking to each other a while and he's rough-looking white dude. My very rich aunt via her older husband who we stayed with while there commented on how she didn't even recognize the 2nd cousin I used to run around with (and kiss) when we were 12 and 9 respectively. She talked a bit ghetto. She comment that she seemed like someone from the "street," yet she was still quite beautiful under all that makeup/thick lipstick. Mainly it's her eyes that are so striking crystal. It's our genes. My great granddad had those same crystal mythic eyes. He had a car in the 1920s, I mean No One had cars back then, and the men pictured in the car all looked like gangsters to me though of course well-dressed.

But yes, No woman is my friend except my mother and close relatives (1st cousins). All other women are fair game, Charles Darwin married his FIRST cousin though during the Victorian era I bet nobody knows that. I'd never even think to do that.

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

We set a specific time earlier in the day... Then she flaked. Oh well

 

[Dan.Lifestyle]

We set a specific time earlier in the day... Then she flaked. Oh well

Yeah bro make her work for it. If a woman wants your time shes going to have to put work in. Dont just give it away.

 

[Glassguy]

Stop wasting time with low/no interest chicks.

 

[Glassguy]

Some women are mean and they will fvck with guys just for kicks (and validation).

A woman flakes. Then you think a "pull back" made her interested. So she gives you CRUMBS and you ask her out again. So she gives a half @ssed response. You get your hopes up, she flakes again.
Women will do this to a guy who is not valuable enough in her eyes.

If she comes back around and she gives subtle hints about asking her out again, point blank tell her that you are talking to other chicks and not really interested. If that gets her panties wet, then tell you she can come over and fvck on Wednesday night AFTER you get back home from "going out".

If she wants to put out, let her. Never again offer a "date". For what its worth, some of these chicks get really sexual when a guy just puts them in their place (even with lower interest).

But these women are total fvck and tosses and can never be looked at as a possible GF. So it takes a strong frame to pull this off and I think that would not be a good option for OP.

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

Delete the number, never ask her out again.

Yeah the number has been deleted. I'm not going to waste any more time on this.

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

I've been turned down by a lot of women recently. Probably more in the last 3 months than in my entire life. This is not an issue of just putting myself out there, bad game, etc. I typically don't get turned down by someone when I go for them. This is a sign I need to work on myself, dig deep and realize that the issue is me, my life, who I'm becoming and I need to change. I recently got a good paying job and that really doesn't help for squat. I've also looked my best in years and that's not the issue either. The issue really is I have a warped perception of women and people in general and I'm using money and women for validation. I need to get out of town for a bit.

Typically, in the past, when it's "on" with a girl...it's on. There's no doubt, there's no "oh I'll take her for a date and prove my worth" type bull****, there's no date at all in fact. When it's on the woman will find time to be around you, even if she is insecure as ****. There's always a fair amount of work I'd have to do, but it's mostly defensive moves not offensive (sports analogy not sure if it works here) it's mostly doing things to not fxck up, not doing things to prove my worth: ie: focusing on work, befriending her friend's, filling my time and mind with thoughts other than her, this type of thing. The problem here is I was authentically trying to get in her pants, I wanted a relationship from this woman and most importantly: I wanted her validation, I sought her because she was for lack of better phrase: the top of the food chain for everyone that I know and see on a daily basis, she's the alpha-b1tch, everyone knew it before but this just solidifies things, and cements me as not worthy, which does hit my ego. Thankfully the guy that fxcks her is ghost to all of these people but her, so I don't have to deal with direct competition and everyone i know making comparisons. I hate to say it but I work with the girl in question. Really though this is karma, jokes on me for trying to **** someone I work with. My game plan moving forward is to just play it cool, act like it didn't bother me and most importantly to completely stop pursuing her on a permanent basis. We had gone out with a mutual before (who, btw the day before me and alpha-b1tch were supposed to go out, the mutual got close and said point blank to me "I want something from you babe, I haven't been ****ed in three months." and then basically waited for me to kiss her. She's not ugly just not exactly my type, and my disinterest in her clearly fuels hers in me. She is fxckable, though (and closer to me in age), but not as pretty as the other) but I'm going to decline any offers to hang out downtown with them if @b (alpha-b1tch) is present.

As I was writing this I got a text from @b. No ****? Lol. There's not going to be any "benefit of the doubt" bull****. I'm not going to let someone waste my time like that. Like glassguy said anything short of her literally throwing herself at me is going to be ignored. She will have to blow me in the parking lot at work.

 

[RangerMIke]

Stop trying to micromanage this.

You’re going to the fair tonight.

She’s either coming with you or she isn’t.

If she doesn’t, you’re going to see and flirt with other women at the fair.

If she decides to go with her girlfriends, she’s going to see you flirt with other women at the fair.

Whatever happens, you’re going to that fair tonight feeling like you look damn good and you’re ready to have some fun.

All you need is right here. You can not control any one chick.... period. She is going to do what she does and there isn't a fvcking thing you can do about it. All you can do is control what you do... you are going to have fun... with or without her.

But I want to add one thing... sort of related since you mentioned you were seeing other chicks. Seeing many chicks isn't going to prevent you from getting focused on one if you are only REALLY interested in... is one of them. It really doesn't do you much good seeing chicks you really don't want. If you want to really not care about one, you have to have more than one you care about. Good find other chicks you are REALLY interested in, that will put you in the right frame of mind.

 

[Glassguy]

All you need is right here. You can not control any one chick.... period. She is going to do what she does and there isn't a fvcking thing you can do about it. All you can do is control what you do... you are going to have fun... with or without her.

But I want to add one thing... sort of related since you mentioned you were seeing other chicks. Seeing many chicks isn't going to prevent you from getting focused on one if you are only REALLY interested in... is one of them. It really doesn't do you much good seeing chicks you really don't want. If you want to really not care about one, you have to have more than one you care about. Good find other chicks you are REALLY interested in, that will put you in the right frame of mind.

And that is how a rotation is born!

 

[Robert28]

In 1999 women used to separate guys into two categories: the guy that you fvck and forget about and the guy you take home to meet mom. Both of these guys played an essential role in a woman’s romantic ecosystem. They collect these guys like guys collecting baseball cards.

The relationship guy had to wait a few weeks for sex, but he still got some. The sexual fling guy gets laid right away and it’s swept under the rug.

I started off as the relationship guy but rebelled and became the sexual fling guy. Now I go back and forth depending on the woman. I’m talking to a woman now where I just introduced the “friends with benefits” frame. She was gung ho on introducing the relationship frame.

When I introduced my frame, she asked me “so how will I benefit?” And my response was “Well for a guy he benefits thru sex. For a woman I have no idea lol. Every woman pretend they hate sex. Women are a mystery.”

I didn’t try to qualify myself or anything. And you know what? She bought into the frame. She simply shifted me from “guy you take home to meet mom to guy you fvck.” It’s that simple. Even though I don’t want to be the relationship guy, there is still a place for me in her romantic ecosystem.

There’s no game. No tactics. No seduction. Just straight to the point introducing the friends with benefits frame.

Do you know how i am able to do this with just about every woman that comes into my life? High interest.

Women with low interest don’t even exist to me. I never deal with them, ever.

As far as I know, there are only two types of guys who get laid.

In 2019 there is a new type of guy that women are suddenly scooping up and hoarding like crazy. The gay guy friend/validation guy.

For this guy, everything is confusing. It’s push pull, hot and cold, she gives you enough just to keep you going. But make no mistake. Your purpose is entertaining her. You exist for her own self amusement. You are not the relationship guy or the casual sexual guy.

For the two guys who get laid, it is NEVER confusing.

For me, dealing with women is almost like a negotiation. It’s simple and straight to the point.

Is the gay guy/validation friend really gay though? I ask because women have tried to stick me into that role and I’m straight as they come. I say tried, they didn’t succeed because I’m quick to figure out if I’m not one of the 2 guys you mention and then I ghost when I figure out I’m neither but she still insists we hangout. Not on my dime we ain’t!

 

[Robert28]

You don’t have to be actually gay. But if you succumb to their frame it’s going to feel like you are gay. Especially when they check out and flirt with guys In front of you or start complaining about their guy problems to you.

It should be all or nothing. Romance is all or nothing. It’s a game that takes no prisoners. It could make you or break you. Have you feeling like you are on cloud nine or completely shattered and heartbroken. It’s a high stakes game. People kill themselves over romance. Romance is not some wishy washy sh1t. That’s the friend zone, lol.

Well I was just wondering why women work so hard to force me to play that role. Not all but the few that have. Like they don’t just suggest it once and it’s up to you if you stay or go, no no no. They legit work hard at forcing you into that role. They won’t come right out and tell you you’re in that role, but they do know how to trick you into falling in it and then it’s too late once you realize it. That’s why sex is so important, it’s really the only tell tale about women, if they’re having sex with you then you’re good, if they ain’t then you better stop and re-access what is going on because you’re about to be in for a world of hurt. I’ve literally had women throw a damn fit because I refused to remain in their lives when they wanted me to be in the role you described. Literal fit. That’s why I wondered why it was so important to them.

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

Don’t ever underestimate women’s need for external validation. Most women are incapable of generating it from within. So they rely on external sources like social media and gay guy friends. You seem like a good person, just not in a sexual way. This is the perfect candidate for the gay guy friend. You have value in a woman’s ecosystem. Just not sexual value.

A sexworthy guy does not respond to attempts to flatter his ego. He doesn’t respond to attention or validation. The only thing women can throw at him that would pique his interest is sexual compliance.

When I am in my social circles, women bump their a$$es into me.its a form of incidental sexual kino. They initiate it, and I become interested. If I don’t feel sexual tension coming from her, she doesn’t exist to me.

And then she throws me a pretense for me to be alone with her. She will mention an activity and either invite me or give me a window to invite myself.

Plausibility deniability > excuse to be alone without using sex as an excuse, but the real intention is hooking up.

This is universal female game. I have no game whatsoever but I am 100% calibrated to women with high interest seducing me.

Incidental sexual kino, closing the distance, eye fvcking you, licking their lips and twirling their tongue insinuating that they want to suck your cawk, and then inviting you to be alone. This Is universal female game.

And sometimes I get negged if I come across as too dominant.

This is 100% female game and has happened to me hundreds of times. Anyone who disagrees with this gives themselves away as a Virgin or a guy who’s never been seduced by women before.

If you fully grasp everything in this post, you will never be confused again.

Women make it OBVIOUS to me sexually. As they should. Anything less, I disqualify them and weed them out of my reality. No exceptions.

I ban them forever for attempting to undermine my masculinity.

I agree with this post, however what you stated is exactly why I was so confused: she did butt bump me, she was using kino and flirting in a sexual way. I may have had an actual opening, though, and simply messed it up for buying into it as validation and starting to "like" her. But my intuition tells me that she was only doing the flirting because I backed off and the plan she had for me all along was to be the gay guyfriend. When she realized she mightve missed the opportunity to trap me in that spot she had to try something bold (lol). Thankfully though the blatant disrespect and disregard for my time has completely turned me off of her in any sort of relationship manner. It's ugly to me when girls do that. She's obviously still fxckable, that said: Obviously I did not and will not respond to her text and like I said she's going to have to blow me in the parking lot if she wants some. I'll undoubtedly be forced to speak with her at some point, though. I will obviously be friendly but beyond the necessary communication im just going to focus on my work. She isn't really all that special to begin with. I don't know why I allowed her to put me in this predicament in the first place. I learned a good lesson here though, a woman will actually turn the heat up just enough to suck you back in just simply to friend zone you. Kindve pathetic tbqh. I was dumb enough to buy into it, can't help but laugh at myself here, though.