So I was a rebound

[ThinkerG]

Women most certainly do use men for sex especially in 2019. Many females have adopted a "male promiscuous ho" mindset. Many of the females also give themselves up to a guy she wants to be her man but he doesnt want her.

No one said they didn’t. Men use women for sex as well....we all know this. Most of the time for woman, they crave the validation and emotion brings to them IF and WHEN they are on the rebound. The point you guys are missing is this girl was FORCED to be away from bf. She was banging op not for sex alone..I guarantee that. Out of loneliness, desperation, confusion, delusion, whatever you want to call it...she never liked him, she’s caught up on her ex. This isn’t an argument about if men or women like sex or use the opposite sex for sex. That is a given.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No one said they didn’t. Men use women for sex as well....we all know this. Most of the time for woman, they crave the validation and emotion brings to them IF and WHEN they are on the rebound. The point you guys are missing is this girl was FORCED to be away from bf. She was banging op not for sex alone..I guarantee that. Out of loneliness, desperation, confusion, delusion, whatever you want to call it...she never liked him, she’s caught up on her ex.

Sometimes they didnt know they didnt like him. The tingle won out over her rational mind. Several more interactions later and she realize she can't stand the dude. And then q babe did fill me in on one of their female logics. A lady explains she only fvcks with ugly dudes or dudes she really dont like so she can get sex without catching feelings. That one blew me away.

 

[Focal core]

QUOTE="sazc, post: 2669634, member: 134154"]
First of all, I said women dont TEND to use men for sex, not 'women never use men for sex' so dont get it twisted.

As for why women cheat, as for why men cheat, that's a complicated subject and discussion that probably, minutely, has something to do with women chasing sex for sex's sake, but I highly doubt that the majority of female cheaters pursue affairs ONLY to have sex.

You seem to be projecting the male viewpoint onto the feminine psyche. What I mean by that is you are viewing females and their motivations in terms of male motivations/what motivates men. Men are more likely to cheat to get sex for sex's sake. Men are more likely to have FWB and no strings attached ONS. On these topics women are less likely to participate.

What makes motivational sense to a man doesn't generally apply motivationally to a woman. That's where your logic falls short.
[/QUOTE]

Honestly, I never really changed the way I texted her. Even up to the text on Tuesday she was responding positively, then bam, not interested. It's just bizarre, in my opinion, for her to be reeeaaally into me after the first couple dates (I'm talking to the point where I was worried I was going to hurt her--seriously) then suddenly she's totally not interested. And the Friday before our third date she initiated with me, which led to the third date. This might seem stupid, but I more think that I was TOO sexual with her, which got her thinking that I only wanted sex from her, and somehow it spun out of control in her mind and she convinced herself that we didn't "vibe" non-sexually. But that also doesn't really make sense because she was very sexual too. Ugh who knows... I'd bet SHE doesn't even really know.

Also, after the texts in the OP, here's a small update:

Me: *told her I didn't just want sex from her and enjoyed hanging out, but that I respect her decision*

Her: I enjoyed it too!! I just haven't been single in a while and I don't want to enter a relationship or anything unless I feel like it's 100% right

Me: yeah I was a rebound. I get it

Her: Well if you want to put it like that then everyone is a rebound to me because I never give myself enough time to just be single

She's clearly fvcking around, I really don't have to argue about this.. Its plain and clear from her. And I didn't normally involved in a forums that has bunch of ignorance.. So that's all I need to say to you.

 

[Focal core]

Sometimes they didnt know they didnt like him. The tingle won out over her rational mind. Several more interactions later and she realize she can't stand the dude. And then q babe did fill me in on one of their female logics. A lady explains she only fvcks with ugly dudes or dudes she really dont like so she can get sex without catching feelings. That one blew me away.

Nahh just let them talks and pray they grow from it.

 

[AttackFormation]

What you all are missing is that sometimes the pain of rejection and failure gets compounded over time. OP is experiencing like 100 rejections and 50 failed dates and 3x compounded lifetime scarcity in one mourning period with this girl as a catalyst.

Especially as the brain processes rejection like physical pain...

 

[Korrupt]

She is not using him for sex. She is using him to fill a void, for validation, for company to avoid loneliness. She didn’t like him. For someone who says “learn more, talk less” you sure talk a lot. You literally don’t know what you’re even talking about. All your concepts are waay off.

I think she was attracted to him physically/sexually and enjoyed the sex, but agree that she was using him to fill her "ex void." I do believe the reason she didn't "like" him is because she can't like him, or anyone, since she is still in love with her ex. She will literally "like" nobody until she gets over her ex. She'll compare every guy to him, and when they don't match up (because nobody can), she'll dump them just the same as OP.

I don't even think he "turned her off." I just think she realized he wasn't her ex. Also, her period and being "emotional" on the last time they hungout might've moved that decision along.

 

[sazc]

No one said they didn’t. Men use women for sex as well....we all know this. Most of the time for woman, they crave the validation and emotion brings to them IF and WHEN they are on the rebound. The point you guys are missing is this girl was FORCED to be away from bf. She was banging op not for sex alone..I guarantee that. Out of loneliness, desperation, confusion, delusion, whatever you want to call it...she never liked him, she’s caught up on her ex. This isn’t an argument about if men or women like sex or use the opposite sex for sex. That is a given.

I suspect her ex left her high and dry
IIRC they dated for 6 months and then he moved away - for the military? What I read is (and maybe im being overly dramatic) she was enjoying their relationship, she was hooked. He had to move away and CHOSE to leave her behind. Im guessing she was crushed and is left wondering why he didnt value the connection as much as she did, and ask her to go with him. aka why were her disney dreams crushed

 

[lamath]

I think she was attracted to him physically/sexually and enjoyed the sex, but agree that she was using him to fill her "ex void." I do believe the reason she didn't "like" him is because she can't like him, or anyone, since she is still in love with her ex. She will literally "like" nobody until she gets over her ex.

This !!
That simple !!!


idk what all the arguing is about

 

[Medina]

Everyone is saying she sounds like a nut case but in all actuality you’re the nut case. I don’t mean this in a mean way. Some guys like to dog other guys when in reality it should be to help them.
She is not a nut case, she is a female. She does what females do. If she was really into you she wouldn’t have spewed any of the nonsense she did. It is what it is. She’s on the rebound bro.

To realize youre not thinking straight is beneficial. Wanting a relationship and to wife a girl up after three dates is literally crazy talk.
Telling the girl you miss her and you want to cuddle up with her after three dates is crazy talk.
Expecting that she is over her ex 1 to 2 months after he was forced to move away is crazy talk.
It was all wrong from the start so chalk it up as an experience and do better next time.
Also, don’t text girls like that anymore. Best wishes

So we now live a world where a woman's body is so disposable and useless that regular sex with her is trivial and if she decides one day not to text back we should just act like nothing happened or we get to be viewed as nutjobs?

Take note ladies : Your last detectable quality, your last bargaining chip in this world - is now completely void.

 

[Korrupt]

Also want to add that if OP's behavior legitimately turned her off, she probably would've dumped him earlier. He says she was more interested after the first date, even MORE interested after the second date, then lost all interest after the third date. It just doesn't sound normal to me.

Obviously this is just my opinion. Not fact...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What you all are missing is that sometimes the pain of rejection and failure gets compounded over time. OP is experiencing like 100 rejections and 50 failed dates and 3x compounded lifetime scarcity in one mourning period with this girl as a catalyst.

He better get some successes under his belt.

 

[Medina]

Literally the red pill. But, her perspective is more opportunistic, she can do it but you cannot.

I know I'm just pointing it out for all to see

 

[Billtx49]

she is still in love with her ex. She will literally "like" nobody until she gets over her ex. She'll compare every guy to him, and when they don't match up (because nobody can), she'll dump them just the same as OP.

I don't even think he "turned her off." I just think she realized he wasn't her ex.

Yes, nice summary. Bottom line, she’s currently emotionally unavailable for whatever reason, no matter how good she made it sound to OP earlier…

 

[AttackFormation]

So we now live a world where a woman's body is so disposable and useless that regular sex with her is trivial and if she decides one day not to text back we should just act like nothing happened or we get to be viewed as nutjobs?

Take note ladies : Your last detectable quality, your last bargaining chip in this world - is now completely void.

She's a young woman on the rebound of an emotional c0cktail which means you can't generalize it to all women in all situations... jesus fvcking christ, what's so hard to understand? why do you have to dramatize it into a "warning note" for women? jesus....

 

[Korrupt]

She's a young woman on the rebound of an emotional c0cktail which means you can't generalize it to all women in all situations... jesus fvcking christ, what's so hard to understand? why do you have to dramatize it into a "warning note" for women? jesus....

Agreed. Believe it or not, this is a extraordinary situation. Yes, you see this kind of thing on forums a lot, but it's rare in the actual world. Most women are emotional, but do not act like this. Most women get more attached after sex and get more attached the more they see you. OP is just one of the unlucky, poor bastards who got sucked into a damaged girl's emotional whirlwind. Literally exact same situation with one of the other, undamaged, 98% of women? We would've never seen this topic.

 

[ThinkerG]

So we now live a world where a woman's body is so disposable and useless that regular sex with her is trivial and if she decides one day not to text back we should just act like nothing happened or we get to be viewed as nutjobs?

Take note ladies : Your last detectable quality, your last bargaining chip in this world - is now completely void.

What the fvck are you talking about? Everything you wrote was the dumbest sh!t I’ve read all week. That’s impressive. You’re a nut job for sure.
You’re only mentioning one tiny piece of the whole equation. Are you telling me out of his entire post that was your only take away? Then yes I would deem you to be a nut job. Wow.

 

[Medina]

What the fvck are you talking about? Everything you wrote was the dumbest sh!t I’ve read all week. That’s impressive. You’re a nut job for sure.
You’re only mentioning one tiny piece of the whole equation. Are you telling me out of his entire post that was your only take away? Then yes I would deem you to be a nut job. Wow.

Lol what a hissy fit

 

[Bokanovsky]

This is nothing more than an attempt to be an a$$ as I had several male posters agree with me but you didnt single them out. Stop trying to manipulate posters on this site with your bvllchit

What does that even mean? I'm trying to "manipulate" you by calling out your ridiculous advice?

Anybody who suggests that one should take anything that a woman says in the dating context (or a man says, for that matter) at face value deserves to be ridiculed.

 

[.Paradox.]

I ignored a lot of bad signs. And there were several obvious ones right in front of me... Gave me her number very quickly on a dating app, which girls (especially super hot ones with a lot of options) don't do, fake boobs, she gets lip filler injections, 3/4 nude "modeling" pics all over instagram and 15k followers, hairdresser, always out by the pool tanning, always wearing a lot of makeup, said I had "really nice skin" (only strikes me as weird because I think I have relatively average skin). No single one of these things is a sign, but I feel like all of them together are a sign she has self-image issues, some kind of body dismorphia, or just isn't happy with the way she looks (even though she's super hot).

Then of course the less obvious emotional stuff that came out after meeting... 2 months out of a relationship with unfinished business, still likes all her ex's pics on instagram, texting me often, the compliments, validation, sexting, practically begging to see me again after the first and seconds dates, etc...

 

[Bokanovsky]

I ignored a lot of bad signs. And there were several obvious ones right in front of me... Gave me her number very quickly on a dating app, which girls (especially super hot ones with a lot of options) don't do, fake boobs, she gets lip filler injections, 3/4 nude "modeling" pics all over instagram and 15k followers, hairdresser, always out by the pool tanning, always wearing a lot of makeup, said I had "really nice skin" (only strikes me as weird because I think I have relatively average skin). No single one of these things is a sign, but I feel like all of them together are a sign she has self-image issues, some kind of body dismorphia, or just isn't happy with the way she looks (even though she's super hot).

Then of course the less obvious emotional stuff that came out after meeting... 2 months out of a relationship with unfinished business, still likes all her ex's pics on instagram, texting me often, the compliments, validation, sexting, practically begging to see me again after the first and seconds dates, etc...

Wait...you wanted to wife up this ho?? Hairdresser with fake boobs and lip injections, who lives for the Instagram? Are you for real?