So I was a rebound

[Focal core]

You guys spend endless amounts of time WALLOWING over her actions, what she does ant (boo hoo) why she does it when the TRUTH is that her actions have everything to do with HER emtions and 95% of the time, nothig to do with you. In this case, IIRC, she TOLD him why she was ending it, she told him MANY resons, of which, only one or two reasons were within his possible control.

Yes stop hamster spinning on/about women. #nextset move on. dwelling, dissecting, obsessing and hamstering is unhealthy

Don't tell me it was 95% based on her emotions, women love s3x as much as men do, infact a healthy Women have larger pathways (connective tissue) between the left and right lobes of their brains. This enables them to think and feel simultaneously, which occurs as naturally as breathing! Men aren't as facile with this, and tend to think OR feel at any given time, which puts them at a disadvantage during intensely emotional episodes (like arguments)! Therefore, it's crucial to understand that during extreme sexual pleasure, a woman's mind can automatically be thinking; "how can I secure this on a permanent basis?" but a man's mind can shift to work issues within moments after sexual climax. What this means is, she could already be thinking ahead to the wedding, but hispleasurable feelings might not be revisited/thought about for up to a week or more later, prompting him to set up another date!

She just use him for s3x, and that's a fact.. I really like you @sazc but this has to be a correction on this.

 

[sazc]

Don't tell me it was 95% based on her emotions, women love s3x as much as men do, infact a healthy Women have larger pathways (connective tissue) between the left and right lobes of their brains. This enables them to think and feel simultaneously, which occurs as naturally as breathing! Men aren't as facile with this, and tend to think OR feel at any given time, which puts them at a disadvantage during intensely emotional episodes (like arguments)! Therefore, it's crucial to understand that during extreme sexual pleasure, a woman's mind can automatically be thinking; "how can I secure this on a permanent basis?" but a man's mind can shift to work issues within moments after sexual climax. What this means is, she could already be thinking ahead to the wedding, but hispleasurable feelings might not be revisited/thought about for up to a week or more later, prompting him to set up another date!

She just use him for s3x, and that's a fact.. I really like you @sazc but this has to be a correction on this.

My point is that she told him what was up with her but everyone is beating on him about what he did wrong and/or assuming other things about her. If she was using him for sex, she would still be using him for sex. She didnt just ghost him, she said some very specific things about why she had made this decision on her way out.

Instead of hampstering about 'what it could really be!?!?!' Just accept what she said at face value and move on. OP even said, his intuition was sayng he was a rebound. It happens.

There's ZERO reason to live life wrapped in an anxiety blanket, analyzing every little detail. It gets you nowhere, except maybe analysis paralysis and even more anxiety. soon you are second guessing every step instead of just chillin, being cool, and going ith the flow.

Maybe that's just my maturity talking.

 

[Focal core]

. If she was using him for sex, she would still be using him for sex.

Maybe that's just my maturity talking.

Nope, she found better options for that.. Maybe a new state of the art vibrator.. You can take my words on that. Other than that you're right.

 

[ThinkerG]

Everyone is saying she sounds like a nut case but in all actuality you’re the nut case. I don’t mean this in a mean way. Some guys like to dog other guys when in reality it should be to help them.
She is not a nut case, she is a female. She does what females do. If she was really into you she wouldn’t have spewed any of the nonsense she did. It is what it is. She’s on the rebound bro.

To realize youre not thinking straight is beneficial. Wanting a relationship and to wife a girl up after three dates is literally crazy talk.
Telling the girl you miss her and you want to cuddle up with her after three dates is crazy talk.
Expecting that she is over her ex 1 to 2 months after he was forced to move away is crazy talk.
It was all wrong from the start so chalk it up as an experience and do better next time.
Also, don’t text girls like that anymore. Best wishes

 

[Focal core]

Everyone is saying she sounds like a nut case but in all actuality you’re the nut case. I don’t mean this in a mean way. Some guys like to dog other guys when in reality it should be to help them.
She is not a nut case, she is a female. She does what females do. If she was really into you she wouldn’t have spewed any of the nonsense she did. It is what it is. She’s on the rebound bro.

To realize youre not thinking straight is beneficial. Wanting a relationship and to wife a girl up after three dates is literally crazy talk.
Telling the girl you miss her and you want to cuddle up with her after three dates is crazy talk.
Expecting that she is over her ex 1 to 2 months after he was forced to move away is crazy talk.
It was all wrong from the start so chalk it up as an experience and do better next time.
Also, don’t text girls like that anymore. Best wishes

Obviously you have never been with a women with a cluster B traits before. Learn more, talk less. Not the other way around showing a low quality of a man, and don't add up the insult to the original posters as hes enduring the pain than its already is from that women.. Thank you for your understanding.

 

[ThinkerG]

Obviously you have never been with a women with a cluster B traits before. Learn more, talk less. Not the other way around showing a low quality of a man, and don't add up the insult to the original posters as hes enduring the pain than its already is from that women.. Thank you for your understanding.

Bro we’ve all been there. No guy should be hurting after three fvcking dates, that means your mental isnt right. If you think he can’t take this kind of help you might as well just call him a puzzy to his face. Trust me, he will find it encouraging and beneficial.
I don’t really give a sh!t what kind of women you think I’ve been with but I can tell you for a fact...judging from your profile picture of course, I’ve been with 50x as many women as you have=experience. Been through marriage and divorce.
If you think the advice I gave him was not sound..you my friend, are not a quality man.

Also, notice how you’re the only one who found it offensive and not sound advice???
We’ve all been hurt, we all need to pick ourselves up...thanks for the understanding.

 

[ThinkerG]

Don't tell me it was 95% based on her emotions, women love s3x as much as men do, infact a healthy Women have larger pathways (connective tissue) between the left and right lobes of their brains. This enables them to think and feel simultaneously, which occurs as naturally as breathing! Men aren't as facile with this, and tend to think OR feel at any given time, which puts them at a disadvantage during intensely emotional episodes (like arguments)! Therefore, it's crucial to understand that during extreme sexual pleasure, a woman's mind can automatically be thinking; "how can I secure this on a permanent basis?" but a man's mind can shift to work issues within moments after sexual climax. What this means is, she could already be thinking ahead to the wedding, but hispleasurable feelings might not be revisited/thought about for up to a week or more later, prompting him to set up another date!

She just use him for s3x, and that's a fact.. I really like you @sazc but this has to be a correction on this.

She is not using him for sex. She is using him to fill a void, for validation, for company to avoid loneliness. She didn’t like him. For someone who says “learn more, talk less” you sure talk a lot. You literally don’t know what you’re even talking about. All your concepts are waay off.

 

[Focal core]

Bro we’ve all been there. No guy should be hurting after three fvcking dates, that means your mental isnt right.

I agree with you with that statement, that's why it doesn't makes any sense you insult a guy who has been a lot of women and never been as hurt as he has been with with this women with only a few dates.

If that wasn't make you think this is unusual, I have the right to say you don't have much maturity to discussed in his problems.. Only a cluster B women has the ability to do this and fvcks with the mens head so much.

And No you haven't been there.

 

[Focal core]

She is not using him for sex. She is using him to fill a void, for validation, for company to avoid loneliness. She didn’t like him. For someone who says “learn more, talk less” you sure talk a lot. You literally don’t know what you’re even talking about. All your concepts are waay off.

Typycal sttment from an average Joe.

 

[sazc]

Bro we’ve all been there. No guy should be hurting after three fvcking dates, that means your mental isnt right. If you think he can’t take this kind of help you might as well just call him a puzzy to his face. Trust me, he will find it encouraging and beneficial.
I don’t really give a sh!t what kind of women you think I’ve been with but I can tell you for a fact...judging from your profile picture of course, I’ve been with 50x as many women as you have=experience. Been through marriage and divorce.
If you think the advice I gave him was not sound..you my friend, are not a quality man.

Also, notice how you’re the only one who found it offensive and not sound advice???
We’ve all been hurt, we all need to pick ourselves up...thanks for the understanding.

Well, we all experience the '3 dates and then dumped' hurt. Why, I remember in 9th grade I made out at a house party with a 10th grader. On monday I saw him at school and dreamily said "Hiyyyeeeeee!" an hour later my bestie comes over and says "Josh wanted me to tell you you guys only made out, you're not dating or together" My little 9th grade self was devastated (for about 3 days)

Then you kinda start to 'get it' You cant depend on anyone's feelings staying consistent or constant, especially early on. Guard your heart/emotions until their actions prove you dont have to.

Hopefully OP is young enough that this will be that kind of a lesson and he can learn from it

 

[sazc]

She is not using him for sex. She is using him to fill a void, for validation, for company to avoid loneliness. She didn’t like him. For someone who says “learn more, talk less” you sure talk a lot. You literally don’t know what you’re even talking about. All your concepts are waay off.

Typycal sttment from an average Joe.

Women dont tend to 'use men for sex' IMO what @ThinkerG is saying is actually the case.

There most definitely ARE women who do only want a FWB situation. But those women dont dump after date 3 - b/c they do want the no strings attached sex.

 

[ThinkerG]

Typycal sttment from an average Joe.

Hahaha, ok. Dudes can’t except the fact the...SHE JUST DONT WANT YOU. He turned her off. Bro, you’re as average as they come. I normally don’t like insulting people but you need a dose of reality. You think you’re intelligent but off, I bet you think you’re good with the ladies too. It’s ok. Good luck tho.

 

[Focal core]

Women dont tend to 'use men for sex' IMO what @ThinkerG is saying is actually the case.

There most definitely ARE women who do only want a FWB situation. But those women dont dump after date 3 - b/c they do want the no strings attached sex.

Oh really? If women doesnt used men for sex, why is there so much wives having an adultery outside on much younger guys? Having legions of orbiter to choose incase anything goes wrong with their significant other?

And where is the nice guys to have a ons in case I 'need it'?

-rolling my eyes-

 

[Focal core]

Hahaha, ok. Dudes can’t except the fact the...SHE JUST DONT WANT YOU. He turned her off. Bro, you’re as average as they come. I normally don’t like insulting people but you need a dose of reality. You think you’re intelligent but off, I bet you think you’re good with the ladies too. It’s ok. Good luck tho.

Another insults doesn't backup with any real intellect sttment means your nothing to me.. Cya.

 

[ThinkerG]

Women dont tend to 'use men for sex' IMO what @ThinkerG is saying is actually the case.

There most definitely ARE women who do only want a FWB situation. But those women dont dump after date 3 - b/c they do want the no strings attached sex.

We all know women love sex. This guy is acting like it’s a secret. In THIS case op turned her off and she’s on the rebound...that’s it.
And the three date bs is not hurt. I don’t guard sh!t, I live and know when to expect from human nature. It’s better now he realizes the truth than to be in an Ltr for five years wondering what he did wrong when she dumps him.

 

[Korrupt]

Everyone is saying she sounds like a nut case but in all actuality you’re the nut case. I don’t mean this in a mean way. Some guys like to dog other guys when in reality it should be to help them.
She is not a nut case, she is a female. She does what females do. If she was really into you she wouldn’t have spewed any of the nonsense she did. It is what it is. She’s on the rebound bro.

To realize youre not thinking straight is beneficial. Wanting a relationship and to wife a girl up after three dates is literally crazy talk.
Telling the girl you miss her and you want to cuddle up with her after three dates is crazy talk.
Expecting that she is over her ex 1 to 2 months after he was forced to move away is crazy talk.
It was all wrong from the start so chalk it up as an experience and do better next time.
Also, don’t text girls like that anymore. Best wishes

NOTE: While part of me thinks should topic should die for OP's sake and because this is just insane amounts of over-analyzation, I also think it's an interesting discussion...

Agree fully with the bolded. Partially agree with underlined.

Yeah, her relationship was close to a year, it only ended because the guy moved, and she still likes all his pics on social media. There's no way she'll be over that in a mere couple months. I actually think it's going to take her a long, long... LONG time for her to get over it because I would guarantee she's still in contact with him. She was probably banging OP then texting her ex after saying how she missed him. I'd bet her mind/emotions were never even truly with OP, and the way OP is feeling about her now is probably how she has been feeling about her ex. I've been there. It's a baaad feeling and no matter how much you want to, you just cannot catch feelings for anyone else with your ex still on your mind (and that's when you know the relationship is completely over, not just like "oh my ex moved away but we still love each other so it might work in the future"--that "hope" makes it harder and take longer to move on). Like I said earlier, OP was likely doomed to exactly what happened from the start.

Dude I don't know about you, but after date #1 I get a FEELING of whether or not I could see myself with the person, and after date 2 I'll almost 100% know if a relationship is a future possibility. IMO after one date you should know if it's going to go anywhere. I've been on numerous first dates where I knew I didn't really like the girl, and numerous first dates where the girl didn't really like me, and that was that. That's also why the OP girl stands out juuuuuust a liiiiiittle bit from other women... She's in love with him after the first, more in love with him after the second, then completely over him after the third, all in just over a week period. B!tches be cray and all that, but most women do not behave like that.

Don't really agree about the texting. Texting isn't going to make or break you with someone you've seen multiple times unless you act super clingy/needy or creepy.

 

[ThinkerG]

Another insults doesn't backup with any real intellect sttment means your nothing to me.. Cya.

You couldn’t handle intellect.You’re embarrassing yourself, just stop. See ya.

 

[sazc]

Oh really? If women doesnt used men for sex, why is there so much wives having an adultery outside on much younger guys? Having legions of orbiter to choose incase anything goes wrong with their significant other?

And where is the nice guys to have a ons in case I 'need it'?

-rolling my eyes-

First of all, I said women dont TEND to use men for sex, not 'women never use men for sex' so dont get it twisted.

As for why women cheat, as for why men cheat, that's a complicated subject and discussion that probably, minutely, has something to do with women chasing sex for sex's sake, but I highly doubt that the majority of female cheaters pursue affairs ONLY to have sex.

You seem to be projecting the male viewpoint onto the feminine psyche. What I mean by that is you are viewing females and their motivations in terms of male motivations/what motivates men. Men are more likely to cheat to get sex for sex's sake. Men are more likely to have FWB and no strings attached ONS. On these topics women are less likely to participate.

What makes motivational sense to a man doesn't generally apply motivationally to a woman. That's where your logic falls short.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Oh really? If women doesnt used men for sex, why is there so much wives having an adultery outside on much younger guys? Having legions of orbiter to choose incase anything goes wrong with their significant other?

And where is the nice guys to have a ons in case I 'need it'?

-rolling my eyes-

Women most certainly do use men for sex especially in 2019. Many females have adopted a "male promiscuous ho" mindset. Many of the females also give themselves up to a guy she wants to be her man but he doesnt want her.

 

[ThinkerG]

NOTE: While part of me thinks should topic should die for OP's sake and because this is just insane amounts of over-analyzation, I also think it's an interesting discussion...

Agree fully with the bolded. Partially agree with underlined.

Yeah, her relationship was close to a year, it only ended because the guy moved, and she still likes all his pics on social media. There's no way she'll be over that in a mere couple months. I actually think it's going to take her a long, long... LONG time for her to get over it because I would guarantee she's still in contact with him. She was probably banging OP then texting her ex after saying how she missed him. I'd bet her mind/emotions were never even truly with OP, and the way OP is feeling about her now is probably how she has been feeling about her ex. I've been there. It's a baaad feeling and no matter how much you want to, you just cannot catch feelings for anyone else with your ex still on your mind (and that's when you know the relationship is completely over, not just like "oh my ex moved away but we still love each other so it might work in the future"--that "hope" makes it harder and take longer to move on). Like I said earlier, OP was likely doomed to exactly what happened from the start.

Dude I don't know about you, but after date #1 I get a FEELING of whether or not I could see myself with the person, and after date 2 I'll almost 100% know if a relationship is a future possibility. IMO after one date you should know if it's going to go anywhere. I've been on numerous first dates where I knew I didn't really like the girl, and numerous first dates where the girl didn't really like me, and that was that. That's also why the OP girl stands out juuuuuust a liiiiiittle bit from other women... She's in love with him after the first, more in love with him after the second, then completely over him after the third, all in just over a week period. B!tches be cray and all that, but most women do not behave like that.

Don't really agree about the texting. Texting isn't going to make or break you with someone you've seen multiple times unless you act super clingy/needy or creepy.

Well yeah, The only reason we are all here is for arguments sake. We cannot feel each other’s pain so it’s all for discussion.
After one date I definitely don’t think that far into the future. If I like her cool I’ll see where it goes and if not then that’s where it ends. I don’t know anybody in their right mind who would even consider a relationship with somebody only after three dates. Yes you can like that person but you should be intelligent enough to know that what’s on the surface isn’t reality. In my personal opinion, if you’re falling hard for somebody after one, two, three dates... you’re not in the right state of mind to be dating looking for a ltr.
I fully believe that Texting can definitely make or break it. It’s not texting itself, it’s the interaction, you can tell a lot from somebody based off of what they say whether it’s via text or in person.