Stop "Passing" Sh!t Tests!

[Atom Smasher]

Guys, we've got to get away from the idea of "passing" women's so-called sh!t tests. When we strive to pass a test, we are submitting to the tester's frame. We are trying to gain their approval.

Instead of working to pass sh!t tests, we should work to HANDLE them. I'd be very gratified to see men abandon this idea of passing and failing their tests and instead really consider what it means to handle vs to pass.

Some men will handle a sh!t test by ignoring, some by agreeing and amplifying, some by turning their back, some by calling them out for their bratty behavior (the latter two being the ones that work for me). Regardless of methodology, we are handling their tests, not passing or failing them.

Some women throw out nasty tests in order to test a man's frame. Are you going to put yourself in a position of passing or failing, or are you going to handle her? Women need to be handled, not appeased.

Next time a test comes your way, think about handling it, never "passing" it. You will be far more effective in your dealings with women.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...

 

[wolf]

A Woman's currency is attention.

If she ain't playing then stop paying.

 

[Robert28]

I think I passed a recent sh!t test. Had plans with a girl oneday but the night before she asked if we could do it the following day. It wasn’t a date but an errand type thing. That was fine, we had set a time for the day she cancelled so I just figured the time was the same for the following day that we planned on. Didn’t hear from her the day before and figured everything was go. Show up to her house the next day at the time we had decided on the day she canceled. Sat my stupid ass there for 20 mins. Sent her a text “you ready?”. She said since she didn’t hear from me she thought it was off, which is stupid cause she knows I’m a man of my word and that we’d scheduled for that day. She made up a bunch of excuses with the typical “I woke up with a headache”(well boo fvcking hoo!). I said fine whatever. Then she says she shouldn’t always have to be the one texting first to confirm stuff (she isn’t but I always use the 80/20 rule with her like I do with every girl). It was just another excuse.

So fine, whatever. We had something planned the following day too so I just said “ok just so there’s no confusion I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 6”. She replies “no thanks I’ll pass on tomorrow”. Yep, I was done after that. I was willing to maybe except SOME of the blame about not confirming the time (even though it had never been a problem before) but her cancelling on me for the next day out of spite was just bs. Ghosted, blocked, she can die for all I care.

 

[backseatjuan]

Instead of working to pass sh!t tests, we should work to HANDLE them.

Her being late on the date, you can say you handled it, or you passed, it makes zero difference. At the end of the day, you as a man, have to prove yourself to a woman. Not the other way around. Fun starts ~2 minutes in, listen from the start.

 

[HankHill]

Let's see some examples of common shyte tests and then how you handled them? That will be very helpful.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

There was this bartender chick that I used to date a couple of years ago. Everytime I would go to her bar, she would give me sh1t. Even if I tried to be nice to her. I just assumed that she didn't like me. But whenever she saw me talking to other women, she would get pissed too.

I finally made a read on her and thought that perhaps she liked me but was too insecure to talk to me like a normal person so she negs me as a reaction to knock me down a few notches. So I decided to flirt with her one day and she lit up like a Christmas tree. I finally came to the realization that this whole entire time, she was never sh1t testing me, but rather, negging me out of insecurity.

A woman senses dominance and gives the guy a window if she is confident. An insecure woman negs the guy to knock him off his pedestal (as a defense mechanism). Ever since I framed sh1t tests as negs, it actually made me pity women for being insecure. It also allowed me to put them in their proper place. They are in no position to test me. In a sense, there is no such thing as a sh1t test in my reality.

Knowing that no woman can test me and it's just insecurity and an act to get my attention led to many more flings with women who were generally rough acting at first, but became sweet as soon as I saw through them. When you are dominant enough, not every woman is going to talk to you like a normal person. Some women revert back to their insecure 14 year old selves. Because I have compassion for women's insecurities, I usually give them a free pass upon first meeting me and not knowing how to act.

I've also noticed that women neg in two ways. One way is a reaction/defense mechanism because she is intimidated by you. This, I would give women a free pass on. But the other way is her genuinely trying to poke holes in your confidence to dis-empower you. This is when I kick them to the curb. My inner compass usually knows which is which. Some women just need some time to open up. But some women straight up envy your power.

I experience reality slightly different. I've never been in a situation where a woman is testing me because she is unsure I am dominant enough. But I have been in plenty of situations where women act out of insecurity or they genuinely hate my dominance. One is being insecure, the other one is just being a b1tch.

That's why there is no such thing as passing tests in my reality. In a sense, I don't really believe in sh1t tests. It seems like a concept PUA's made up. I like to stick to what is observable. And that is women acting out of insecurity because you come across as too dominant, and women trying to genuinely knock you down because your dominance irks them. Those are the only two realities I've ever experienced.

However, just because I don't believe in tests doesn't mean I don't believe you can fail. Because you certainly can. If a woman acts insecure around you because she feels you are too dominant and can't believe she has any emotional affect on you and you took her "negs" seriously, you would have ruined her image of you as a dominant man. So in this way, you can still fail. A part part of that is not knowing that she is just insecure and that she is in no position to test you.

With the other neg where women genuinely despise me, I would just reject them. There's no "turning it around" or game to seduce them. Why would I want to turn around women who genuinely despise me? It makes no sense.

Why would they "despise" you?

 

[Epic Days]

There was this bartender chick that I used to date a couple of years ago. Everytime I would go to her bar, she would give me sh1t. Even if I tried to be nice to her. I just assumed that she didn't like me. But whenever she saw me talking to other women, she would get pissed too.

I finally made a read on her and thought that perhaps she liked me but was too insecure to talk to me like a normal person so she negs me as a reaction to knock me down a few notches. So I decided to flirt with her one day and she lit up like a Christmas tree. I finally came to the realization that this whole entire time, she was never sh1t testing me, but rather, negging me out of insecurity.

A woman senses dominance and gives the guy a window if she is confident. An insecure woman negs the guy to knock him off his pedestal (as a defense mechanism). Ever since I framed sh1t tests as negs, it actually made me pity women for being insecure. It also allowed me to put them in their proper place. They are in no position to test me. In a sense, there is no such thing as a sh1t test in my reality.

Knowing that no woman can test me and it's just insecurity and an act to get my attention led to many more flings with women who were generally rough acting at first, but became sweet as soon as I saw through them. When you are dominant enough, not every woman is going to talk to you like a normal person. Some women revert back to their insecure 14 year old selves. Because I have compassion for women's insecurities, I usually give them a free pass upon first meeting me and not knowing how to act.

I've also noticed that women neg in two ways. One way is a reaction/defense mechanism because she is intimidated by you. This, I would give women a free pass on. But the other way is her genuinely trying to poke holes in your confidence to dis-empower you. This is when I kick them to the curb. My inner compass usually knows which is which. Some women just need some time to open up. But some women straight up envy your power.

I experience reality slightly different. I've never been in a situation where a woman is testing me because she is unsure I am dominant enough. But I have been in plenty of situations where women act out of insecurity or they genuinely hate my dominance. One is being insecure, the other one is just being a b1tch.

That's why there is no such thing as passing tests in my reality. In a sense, I don't really believe in sh1t tests. It seems like a concept PUA's made up. I like to stick to what is observable. And that is women acting out of insecurity because you come across as too dominant, and women trying to genuinely knock you down because your dominance irks them. Those are the only two realities I've ever experienced.

However, just because I don't believe in tests doesn't mean I don't believe you can fail. Because you certainly can. If a woman acts insecure around you because she feels you are too dominant and can't believe she has any emotional affect on you and you took her "negs" seriously, you would have ruined her image of you as a dominant man. So in this way, you can still fail. A big part of that is not knowing that she is just insecure and that she is in no position to test you.

With the other neg where women genuinely despise me, I would just reject them. There's no "turning it around" or using game to seduce them. Why would I want to turn around women who genuinely despise me? It makes no sense.

Top notch stuff. I don’t think much about them(sh!t test). I’ve never really considered them an issue.

 

[HankHill]

That's a good way of looking at some of the shyte tests. But what I meant was the ones we often see talked about on the board here. I think the most common one comes to mind is when she tries to make you jealous (past ex, new guy at the office etc). Another common one being she tries to change dates or blows you off etc...but I'm sure there are many others too.

 

[guru1000]

That's a good way of looking at some of the shyte tests. But what I meant was the ones we often see talked about on the board here. I think the most common one comes to mind is when she tries to make you jealous (past ex, new guy at the office etc). Another common one being she tries to change dates or blows you off etc...but I'm sure there are many others too.

Yes it’s a good idea for some here to volunteer sample “shlt tests” to see how senior guys would respond.

I’ll reply to your two examples:

1) She tries to make you jealous: this did happen to me once with a girl I dated for two years. She came to my house at 7am as if she just got home from going out all night.

I dumped her straight.

This may seem harsh to some but the dynamic behind the scenes run much deeper. See I already dismissed her and no longer valued/appreciated her, nor did I want to marry her which she was pushing. She felt this viscerally and did whatever she could to try to incite desire in me—hence her little ploy. However, her ploy only led to the immediate demise which was going to happen eventually irregardless.

Other than her, I never had a girl attempt to make me jealous—or at least it never registered as such.

2) Changes dates or blows you off:

My response would be immediate dismissal. Her IL is not high and accordingly such behavior follows. No further action necessary here.

In most “shlt tests,” if you look deep enough, you will see a deeper underlying problem, hence the test.

Better to look at the “why” behind the scenes to truly understand the truth behind the curtains of smoke.

 

[Barrister]

That's a good way of looking at some of the shyte tests. But what I meant was the ones we often see talked about on the board here. I think the most common one comes to mind is when she tries to make you jealous (past ex, new guy at the office etc). Another common one being she tries to change dates or blows you off etc...but I'm sure there are many others too.

Here's one: you make planes for time X. And she decides she is going to show up 20-30 minutes late ahead of time to see what your reaction is.

Give yourself ten minutes max and then walk out almost no matter what. Not worth it even if she shows up after that point because you've lost frame. Only way this is over-ridden is if there is an actual, legitimate excuse for why she is late and she is in CONSTANT contact regarding the situation well ahead of the scheduled time.

 

[GFella]

I was going to make a thread about Passing shiit tests..

Is seeing everything a woman does that doesn't align with your wishes a shiit test? If so is advice given regarding the "passing" of every possibls shiit test paranoid and neurotic?

If you're worried and mentally constipated about spending your life jumping through toilet seat hoops passing gas, and passing shiit tests might as well grab your plunger, mop and bucket and become a bathroom attendant.

 

[AJ84]

The closest I can come to explaining it is a woman would sense my dominance, throw me a neg, have her friends laugh along with her, and I can clearly see a satisfied look on her face. It's as if my dominance made her uncomforable and she resented her own feelings of attraction for me and the powerlessness that comes with that because she doesn't believe she can get me, so she'd rather knock me down a few notches, get validation from her friends that I am nothing special, and rationalize to herself that I am nothing special. It's a coping mechanism. These women are insecure too I guess, but they resent and cope, just like 90% of the manosphere....but the female version. I would imagine these women make great feminists.

I can see how some insecure or bitter women would try to knock a dominant man down a peg or two.

But when you say they can sense your dominance, how do they sense it? What is your behaviour, body language etc that makes them sense this? If they haven’t met you before?

What should women notice to know that a man she hasn’t spoken to, is a confident dominant man (which entices her to approach him)?

 

[Julian]

Lots of game in this thread. Stick to your guns boys, dont let these harpys take you off your zone. @GFella you are kind of a clown bro. Its all about discernment. Go with your gut and use some critical thinking and you can tell when a chick is chit testing you. Why do you have such black/white thinking. Theres levels to this chit it aint just one way or the other.

 

[AJ84]

This is an unanswerable question because to one woman I could be straight up intimidating but to another, I could be invisible. I am just me all the time though. Whatever it is women sense in me is completely embedded into my presence and sub-communications. I am completely unconscious of it. I am not walking around thinking to myself "Must act dominant." I'm usually just minding my own business. I guess that's the real reason. When I give these women attention and serve in their validation ecosystem, they don't neg me. But when I walk around completely oblivious, I get negged left and right by attention wh0res. Like "How dare this fool not give me attention. Who does he think he is?"

I can't speak for other men. I just know that when I walk around with a purpose or downplay romance as petty and don't notice women, they try to pull me back into the game. But when I walk around looking for attention, every woman runs for the hills. So I guess it's a non-needy vibe that I am carrying around.

You’re not peacocking. That’s a draw for women especially if it’s a good looking guy who isn’t putting on a show trying to impress.

Thanks for clarifying.

 

[AJ84]

Yes I notice that women are very good at sniffing out your sponsoring thought - the thought behind the thought. A guy might think to himself "I'm just going to go out tonight with my best clothes because I want to look good" but the thought behind the thought could be "I'm trying to get attention from women." This is the thought that women pick up. The barely conscious sponsoring thought behind the thought. The "ulterior motive" if you will.

That's why I tell guys all the time there is no pickup persona they can put on to try and seduce women. Their sponsoring thoughts are already fvcked up. Everything they do is designed to elicit a reaction from women. Their sponsoring thought is seeking validation.

When I tell guys this they go "Nah uh...I'm not seeking validation. I'm just working on my game." Look behind the thought grasshopper. Your real intent is molding yourself to women's whims in hopes of getting laid/validation.

My sponsoring thought is I don't care what women want. She has to mold herself to me. And women can easily pick up on my sponsoring thought. They know right away on a gut level that they have to live in my frame or GTFO.

What does it mean to mold herself to you and how does she know that on a gut level?

 

[AJ84]

Really hard to keep up when loads of the replies are on ignore.

To clear up: peakcoking is a technique from RSD. The poster you responded to is a formerly banned troll who used to pretend that he worked for RSD. His old monicker is "dadynamic" and he was a complete clown. My old monicker was deesade. Can't be bothered to deal with the same prats all over.


He never worked for RSD and does'nt have a literal beginner's clue about game.

Oh I see, thanks for that yeah I’m out of the loop lol

 

[guru1000]

Here's one: you make planes for time X. And she decides she is going to show up 20-30 minutes late ahead of time to see what your reaction is.

Give yourself ten minutes max and then walk out almost no matter what. Not worth it even if she shows up after that point because you've lost frame. Only way this is over-ridden is if there is an actual, legitimate excuse for why she is late and she is in CONSTANT contact regarding the situation well ahead of the scheduled time.

I'm lenient with small time delays, probably because I'm always the late one. But considering hot women spend a ton of money on makeup and dresses, and actually use that time to look their best FOR you, I cut them slack in this area. 20-30 minutes is pushing it but if the time delay is not intentional or often, I let it go.

When judging what boundary is appropriate, first look at her intent, and then her action.

 

[AJ84]

Ok now I think you are just seeking attention.

No I’m asking you to clarify what you said. I agree with you that not putting on a show is better.

But you’re also saying that you don’t care what woman want and that they should mold to you or GTFO and on a gut level they know that. So can you help me understand how women know this on a gut level?

Also I get how not being a show off helps attract women but I don’t get how not caring what she wants while also expecting her to mold into you or GTFO attracts women.

So I am asking you to explain how that works.

 

[sazc]

This is a mens board. I can just lazily throw around catch phrases and 90% of guys would be like "Ahhh ha.. I got it." But for me to explain to you is like I have explain it to where a child could understand. So you tell me, what incentive do I have to put that much effort into this conversation?

Can't do it, huh? LMFAO

 

[sazc]

Speaking of sh1t tests....This would be the women trying to qualify me and make me jump through their hoops version.

LMFAO
she's asking you to clarify your (rather interesting) logic and all you can do is Dodge and weave and hide behind the smokescreen of "I don't explain myself to women, I am above that'

Which CLEARLY communicates that you CANT explain what you are talking about.

But carry on with the smokescreen bravado lolz