Why have standards?

[EyeOnThePrize]

So how are you gonna talk down on everyone for their standards?

Get off your high horse.

listen i'm not here to convince you and i'm not here to gloat. i'm not sure how you're being offended by encouragement, but it's a damn shame that you've deluded yourself to such an extent.

maybe you're afraid of what you're capable of, maybe you're convinced you won't accomplish anything, but the first step to anything is putting your mind to it. as ghay as it sounds that means believing in yourself to reach your goals. this is coming from my real world experience, books actually miss a lot of important info imo. for example telling yourself 'i can do this' is actually not what you should do. you should say 'i fuucking love this', especially if it's hard as fuuck. you should be so enamored with the process that you don't NEED to encourage yourself. when you love the process you lose track of time and don't need to push yourself consciously because you're doing it for fun. you enjoy the grind, like some kind of masochist. that's why i enjoy challenging myself and you should too.

See, this is egalitarian BS, and in no way reflects reality.

you want a guarantee. that doesn't exist. accept the risks and go after what you want. it's the only way you'll have a decent shot at it. along the way you'll discover things you never imagined.

 

[Spaz]

Well put @EyeOnThePrize

Looks like with more new blood being infused into Sosuave there's a more balanced approach on the narratives here.

 

[user43770]

listen i'm not here to convince you and i'm not here to gloat. i'm not sure how you're being offended by encouragement, but it's a damn shame that you've deluded yourself to such an extent.

maybe you're afraid of what you're capable of, maybe you're convinced you won't accomplish anything, but the first step to anything is putting your mind to it. as ghay as it sounds that means believing in yourself to reach your goals. this is coming from my real world experience, books actually miss a lot of important info imo. for example telling yourself 'i can do this' is actually not what you should do. you should say 'i fuucking love this', especially if it's hard as fuuck. you should be so enamored with the process that you don't NEED to encourage yourself. when you love the process you lose track of time and don't need to push yourself consciously because you're doing it for fun. you enjoy the grind, like some kind of masochist. that's why i enjoy challenging myself and you should too.


you want a guarantee. that doesn't exist. accept the risks and go after what you want. it's the only way you'll have a decent shot at it. along the way you'll discover things you never imagined.

I read your thread about your ex. You don't seem like anyone to emulate.

 

[Spaz]

I read your thread about your ex. You don't seem like anyone to emulate.

You're being purposely recalcitrant towards new ideas TyTe.

Does it scares you so much ?

Being hurt in the past doesn't mean you have to stop living life - that also means taking risks.

You'd think that when they 1st invented the lighter it was perfect? Nay brother, it was through a series of failures that made the lighter.

 

[user43770]

You're being purposely recalcitrant towards new ideas TyTe.

Does it scares you so much ?

Being hurt in the past doesn't mean you have to stop living life - that also means taking risks.

You'd think that when they 1st invented the lighter it was perfect? Nay brother, it was through a series of failures that made the lighter.

Lol you're too much, man. I can't keep up

 

[Spaz]

Lol you're too much, man. I can't keep up

Ur excuse then was to say you fvcked women but were jaded, hence the lack of field report.

I could easily whip out a whatsup chat where women are actively not only asking me out but taking the initiative to communicate with me but not you despite ur self claim "seducer" credentials on Sosuave.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

I read your thread about your ex. You don't seem like anyone to emulate.

never asked you to, do your own thing. i'm grateful for all my relationships, the cumulative experience has opened my eyes and made me what i am. nothing wrong with showing some vulnerabilities, there's strength in that too. no such thing as a perfect person after all.

your mindset molds your world quite literally. look around you right now, everything you lay your eyes on is there because of your choices. you are the master of your universe. to deny this is to deny yourself.

 

[user43770]

Ur excuse then was to say you fvcked women but were jaded, hence the lack of field report.

I could easily whip out a whatsup chat where women are actively not only asking me out but taking the initiative to communicate with me but not you despite ur self claim "seducer" credentials on Sosuave.

I could easily screenshot some texts, figure out how to blur out the numbers and then post it to sosuave so that spaz will believe me.

You think I'm trying to impress you, boy?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

But don't get me wrong. You should have standards - it is the Necessity. Your frame always should be "you either meet my expectation or I'm not interested". My main standard is - she should give me that I want, she should meet my expectations, or I will lose interest in her. You either give me that I expect from you or I find someone else who will. Why I need a girl who isn't interested? Why I need a girl who doesn't compile with my desires? WIth this frame, you are never feel rejected by a girl. You always should be the one who rejects her, even if it was you who approached her in the first place. When I approach a girl I do it to give her a chance, to know if she meets my expectations or not. Being with me is a privilege, not being with me is a punishment.

The difficulty is people are full of insecurities, and one of these is the fear of being judged/ evaluated. It's easy to have too high an evaluation of women and reject them for this or that reason [conveniently before they might perhaps reject you]. Often you might think less of a woman for some poorly perceived behavior that might actually stem from the fact she feels insecure with someone who is essentially a stranger to here. you have here the clash of egos, and the ego is all about protecting itself.

Instead tolerate the small indiscretions at first, give them more of a generous interpretation... at first, the benefit of doubt kind of thing, and just a small act of kindness really. People then have a better chance of getting to know the person that lies under the exterior, and will then be better able to make an informed choice. She might even 'grow' on you given half a chance.

 

[Spaz]

I could easily screenshot some texts, figure out how to blur out the numbers and then post it to sosuave so that spaz will believe me.

You think I'm trying to impress you, boy?

It's either you can or can't.

No need to give elaborate excuses of why you can't, if you can't just say so.

 

[YourGreatestFear]

The difficulty is people are full of insecurities, and one of these is the fear of being judged/ evaluated. It's easy to have too high an evaluation of women and reject them for this or that reason [conveniently before they might perhaps reject you]. Often you might think less of a woman for some poorly perceived behavior that might actually stem from the fact she feels insecure with someone who is essentially a stranger to here. you have here the clash of egos, and the ego is all about protecting itself.

Instead tolerate the small indiscretions at first, give them more of a generous interpretation... at first, the benefit of doubt kind of thing, and just a small act of kindness really. People then have a better chance of getting to know the person that lies under the exterior, and will then be better able to make an informed choice. She might even 'grow' on you given half a chance.

There are countless women, why I should give her "another chance" over and over again? Counter-intuitively, but the more you willing to reject a woman the more she willing to make efforts to "win you over". The more you are willing to walk away from her the less willing she is to walk away from you.

 

[user43770]

It's either you can or can't.

No need to give elaborate excuses of why you can't, if you can't just say so.

So I didn't need to blur anything out, after all

 

[Spaz]

So I didn't need to blur anything out, after all

View attachment 2983

So you're one of those guys who's primarily using OLD apps.

Now i understand ur angst when I say women on OLD apps are losers.

 

[user43770]

So you're one of those guys who's primarily using OLD apps.

Now i understand ur angst when I say women on OLD apps are losers.

That's SMS in the pic, but yeah I use OLD.

What angst? Your assessment of the women is pretty accurate. Though I've also met some well-balanced women on there.

 

[MatureDJ]

I think that standards are an evolved kill-switch for a genetic line. Think about a tribe where one of the members has low standards. He'd reproduce with some evolutionary reject, thereby dragging down the tribe. By maintaining standards, he keeps the genetic health of the tribe strong. If he ends up not reproducing, but at least someone in the tribe does, his genetic line via cousins is kept alive. We hate uglies & fatties because the reason we got to where we are is because our ancestors' fellow tribesman kept out the garbage.

 

[In2theGame]

This is kind of an open ended question that got me thinking. Lots of guys on here say 'just go smash', but a 10 to you might be a 6 to me or vice versa. Some only care if she's female and breathing, others want a woman with her own income, hobbies, kegel workout schedule, etc.

Personally I believe the woman I smash is a reflection of myself. I won't continue seeing a woman that isn't continuously improving herself because eventually I'll outgrow her and naturally lose interest.

What are your standards for a woman and why are they what they are?

For strictly sex, She always had to be one of the hottest chicks I saw that day/night. Have I pulled some "lower" number Women? Definitely I have but sometimes I felt like it was too easy and didn't enjoy it as much. For girlfriend material, she had to be much much more than sex.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Respectful and intelligent. Feminine but professional. A good cook and willing to do the dishes. Cleanliness is top priority. Active not lazy and a hard worker.
And ofcourse playful and cute as hell.

Perhaps successful relationships, or where long term relationships were the cultural norm, relied on a 'division of labor'. The man worked in the public sphere, and the woman looked after the domestic sphere.

Now everyone is expected to do everything, and the 'efficiency' that once existed for relationships, or the civil sphere, is absent.

Looking at this purely from a sociological/ descriptive perspective of course.

 

[Spaz]

I think that standards are an evolved kill-switch for a genetic line. Think about a tribe where one of the members has low standards. He'd reproduce with some evolutionary reject, thereby dragging down the tribe. By maintaining standards, he keeps the genetic health of the tribe strong. If he ends up not reproducing, but at least someone in the tribe does, his genetic line via cousins is kept alive. We hate uglies & fatties because the reason we got to where we are is because our ancestors' fellow tribesman kept out the garbage.

And what we men find sexy is just actually a reproductive strategy to maximise survival potential of offsprings.

Older women, not sexy = retarded babies

Big breasted, sexy = more baby milk.

No ass/small hips not sexy = difficulties in giving birth.

Pretty face, sexy = probability of own daughters being equally beautiful rises, her survival rate increases as she ages.

 

[AttackFormation]

Respectful and intelligent. Feminine but professional. A good cook and willing to do the dishes. Cleanliness is top priority. Active not lazy and a hard worker.
And ofcourse playful and cute as hell.

What are you gonna be/do for her in return?

 

[AttackFormation]

All those things are shared bro. I can and do all these things. But i do get bitched at when she sees me in the sink. Lol I'm told to get out of there. But that aside your asking a very complex question.

Backgrounds, upbringing, culture, societal rank, education, personalities. All these things play a part and no human book could ever contain those complexities. That's life's knowledge.
Personally i just learn the game and try to understand the nature and the biology of this dance and have a good time.
You get to a point were nothing suprises you and not much matters but in a funny way.

That a current girlfriend telling you to get out of there? haha!

I just wanted to check what guys say here, I don't want to take advice from morons who think women should be grateful for the opportunity to kiss their feet and be their maid, nanny, cook and what have you while still working and all they themselves are supposed to do is take it for granted. I wasn't worried about that with you in particular, just making the point.

Example. My dad called me one day and asked if i heard my cousin and her husband are splitting.(25 years) i said.

Oh yea? What took so long? Lol

lol, dude you're sitting in with all these stories... you never explained the one about the guy whose own mom told him to grow a pair either! and now this one!