How to get around with chronic pain and relationships and dating?

[Craig Dates]

Need some advice here. I've worked on a lot to better myself. Brought my BMI from 28 to 22 and I am in shape. I exercise as best as I can and have built lean muscle. I cook clean meals and I run a successful business. But there are a few things holding me back. Unfortunately, to my luck, a drunk driver slammed into me (and a few other teens) when I was a lot younger. He had no insurance and went to jail. I didn't get anything from the accident aside from skin crawling migraines and a f*cked up spinal cord. I worked with PT and a personal trainer and my spine is like night and day.

Migraines still come even with botox injections for the migraine treatment (pure hell - around 32 injections around my skull every 3 months) and an injectible migraine medicine I have to inject into myself twice a month. The problem is the summer is the worst time. This year has been absolutely hell with the constant rain. I've had to cancel dates and girls in the past just walk away as they cannot put up with it. I do not piss and moan about it. I say I am not feeling well, the migraine is pretty back I'll hit you back when things are better. It can take between 1 - 4 days for a really bad migraine session to be over. If it's not over by then, I have to go to the ER to abort the migraine and monitored overnight. I don't tell anyone. I just get an Uber or taxi and I go myself. I do not bother people when I am in this position.

How do I overcome this? I actually gave up dating for a few years, bought a small home and just assumed I'd be on my own 4 life due to this. I just say why would any girl put up with this? Usually July / August or any really rainy days. Other than that, I am fine. Rain and pressure trigger my intense migraines. I used to take drugs (prescribed to me, not street) to knock me out cold that they were so bad. The pain starts at the base of the skull then pressue builds at the top of the skull and you feel like your eyes are going to pop out and skin crawling. My one LTR entered into our relationship and knew going in there could be some bad days... She started to waiver four years in. I over heard her talking that she was looking to move out and was looking for a place. The next day, I just told her it isn't working, we should go our separate ways. It was very hard. I moved and bought a small little home since I assumed no girl would put up with this. Things go fine until they find out. Then they usually ghost or break up. Unless I am under a migraine attack, you'd never know something was wrong with me.

What do I do? I'm basically f*cked. Right?

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Full spectrum cbd CBD oil?

 

[Spaz]

Just migraine attacks?

Lucky you, others are worse off - are blind, under chemotherapy, lost limbs, had heart attacks, strokes, etc....the list is truly endless.

Count ur blessings brother, don't focus on what you're lost, focus on what you have right now.

The only true place where people don't have any problems are those in the graveyard.

 

[Craig Dates]

Full spectrum cbd CBD oil?

Doesn't work.

Just migraine attacks?

Lucky you, others are worse off - are blind, under chemotherapy, lost limbs, had heart attacks, strokes, etc....the list is truly endless.

Count ur blessings brother, don't focus on what you're lost, focus on what you have right now.

The only true place where people don't have any problems are those in the graveyard.

You really are nuts. Unless you've experienced ongoing migraines lasting days where you are in complete hell, can't see and need to go to the ER to abort, you have no idea. Just migraines... Wow. Ever been stabbed before? Well, imagine continous stabbing pains through your head and eyes non-stop for days on end. Many a times the pain is so bad I wish I was dead. You really have no idea.

 

[sazc]

Just migraine attacks?

Lucky you, others are worse off - are blind, under chemotherapy, lost limbs, had heart attacks, strokes, etc....the list is truly endless.

Count ur blessings brother, don't focus on what you're lost, focus on what you have right now.

The only true place where people don't have any problems are those in the graveyard.

How un empathetic can you be?!?!
This dude had a life altering accident. Life altering to to the point of where he contemplated going hermit because the intermittent issues interfered with his dating life and that's what you say to him? "Could be worse!"?!

Your momna raised you better than that, I know she did.

 

[Spaz]

You really are nuts. Unless you've experienced ongoing migraines lasting days where you are in complete hell, can't see and need to go to the ER to abort, you have no idea. Just migraines... Wow. Ever been stabbed before? Well, imagine continous stabbing pains through your head and eyes non-stop for days on end. Many a times the pain is so bad I wish I was dead. You really have no idea.

R u on ur death bed ?

Permanently disabled ?

Others are going through worse, some kids has leukemia, undergoing intense chemotherapy until their hair drops off, eyes change color and yet when you visit them at the hospital, they're so cheerful, smiling until their body just waste away, their state of mind is better then a grown ass man like you.

Learn to have some shame.

Then learn to count ur blessings that u r not one of those.

 

[Spaz]

How un empathetic can you be?!?!
This dude had a life altering accident. Life altering to to the point of where he contemplated going hermit because the intermittent issues interfered with his dating life and that's what you say to him? "Could be worse!"?!

Your momna raised you better than that, I know she did.

Go ahead and hold his hand, be the shoulder he can cry on so that he's forever beholden to people and don't learn to deal with it.

 

[Craig Dates]

Just migraine attacks?

Lucky you, others are worse off - are blind, under chemotherapy, lost limbs, had heart attacks, strokes, etc....the list is truly endless.

Count ur blessings brother, don't focus on what you're lost, focus on what you have right now.

The only true place where people don't have any problems are those in the graveyard.

Go f*ck yourself. When you get slammed into by a truck, then you tell me how you feel.

 

[Spaz]

Go f*ck yourself. When you get slammed into by a truck, then you tell me how you feel.

Then I suggest you to register in loveshack.org

There you'll get all the pity flowing, that's what you want. Just copy paste this thread.

Here we dish out what you need and not what you want.

We make men strong here and not weaker.

 

[RickTheToad]

@Spaz, you're going a bit too hard on the dude. The pain is really bad.. I mean gunshot bad. I've been stabbed, shot and experience migraines.. Not on this dudes perceived level, but life stops. The pain from the migraines can be equal or worse. There is no cure. Migraines are not just headaches, it's actually a registered disability. People have also committed suicide just to end the pain. It's no laughing matter.

The dude seems to be trying to get his life together. Getting hit by a vehicle is no easy thing. Migraines, if not treated correctly, can cause a stroke or even an aneurysm. It's not a laughing matter. I've experienced people being taking away in a ambulance and experiencing both. @Craig Dates, you should see a specialist. I feel for you dude. @Spaz ain't a bad guy. Just a little rough around the edges.

As for your dating life? Not sure what to tell you. Most ladies are in it for them, not you. Maybe loosen up your requirements? If you expect a lady to take care of you when you are sick or hurt, that's not going to happen nowadays. I was in the hospital for surgery last year, never got a visit from the lady I was seeing. Yet, other friends, co-workers, family and ex's did. Go figure.

You live your life on your terms. Perhaps short term relations is what you need. There is a difference between loniness and being alone. If you are good with being alone, then you should be fine.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

keep trying stuff until you find something that works. meditation, yoga, different diets, aroma therapy, sound therapy, try everything, something will eventually stick or at least do the job better than everything else. and you'd be surprised, women put up with a LOT worse. some woman would be happy to help you with your migraines, especially if she sees you trying new things and fighting it/trying to find a solution by yourself. that kind of relentless attitude is hot to a woman. you're making progress, now keep going, this is yet another challenge made for you to overcome, to hone you into an even better man than you already are. never let a break up cause you to doubt that, it's yet ANOTHER challenge meant to do the same.

 

[switch7]

When I was younger I used to suffer from migraines, no idea why, but I would get a headache so bad that I would hallucinate, eventually
I would throw up and then I could finally sleep.. Some people have never experienced what a migraine actually is, the word gets thrown around a lot nowadays for a minor headache and it’s not, it’s a completely different thing and is the most painful thing I’ve wver experienced, so I feel for you bud..

I don’t know how to help you but if I was in your place I would explore stretching and mobility on your spine as much as possible on a daily basis.. yoga would be ideal.. just my 2 cents

 

[Craig Dates]

Sorry for the last few days. It's been raining none-stop for days here. The barometric pressure is so high I had to stay in an ER to break the migraine. My BP was climbing due to the pressure, so they knocked me out. Summer is the worst for me. Fall - mid Spring is usually okay to fine.

I do yoga, exercise, strength train, etc. Summer is a loss as it's non-stop migraines if the barometric pressure is off the wall. I am seeing this one girl who is very understanding. She brings food and things over, and I do like her, but there is a problem. She's overweight. She's shown me pics of her from 10 years ago, mid 20's, and seemed to be in shape. Not Xtina Agulaira (however you spell her name), but maybe a size 4 - 6. Now, she's 8 - 10. She then shown me pics from a few years ago and she was much heavier, and you can see she lost a lot of weight. She knows nutrition and health are important to me, so she said she'd do the Keto thing with me. I also lost a lot of weight on Keto, plus it has helped lower the pains. I didn't ask her to, she volunteered and even she asked her doctor at her annual physical and she agreed. However, I do not think she's sticking to it. She looks thinner than when I first met her, but we went out to dinner yesterday, and she was started eating a good amount of food. Her plate was full, I never saw it that much before. Then, she went to get desert, she picked up several there and ate most of it. I do like her and aside from that, there's no other issues. I am at a loss as I do not want to be mean or act out of haste, and she knows it bothers me. I lost both my parents due to diabetes. I, myself, was over 250 lbs a few years ago. I even shown her my old XXL and size 44 pants. If I can lose the weight, any one can. I went from a BMI of 29 to 22.

I know ultimatums do not work, but if she's eating like she did last night, I am concerned. Yet, she tells me all the time she's eating fish, chicken, etc. I just don't know. She not low class. Has a powerful job in banking with a six figure income. So, I do not know what's up. Open to suggestions. I tried working out with her a few weeks ago, I happened to be okay for a few days, and she gave up pretty fast. So, IDK. I am at a loss of words and actions. I understand we need to cheat here and there, but, this was crazy. I offered to workout with her, walk with her, share my fitness pal with her so we can track together. She said initially yes, but then pulled out saying my fitness pal was hacked so it's a no go.

I fell vain for feeling this way too.

 

[Newbee2]

migraine can have many triggers; food light sleep stress etc. have you tried cranial massage by different professional's?