A game to get a woman Vs. game to keep a woman?

[bario]

I was reading the other thread and our member marmel75 replied that "The game used to get a woman is not the game used to keep a woman."

Now, I'm still improving my getting a woman game, what do you think is the main difference between the two?

 

[sazc]

Paging @marmel75 they need your help over here.

@guru1000 @Amante Silvestre you guys can lend some wisdom as well

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

There is no game. You simply improve yourself continuously, love your life, and facilitate people that you enjoy into it. If you enjoy a woman's company you invite her out and have a good time with her. This doesn't change if a LTR manifests. You still gauge the level of respect she shows and whether you still enjoy her company. If the respect drops you check and then disengage if it continues. Excessive emphasis on intricate game leads to harboring resentment.

 

[rjc149]

Women are going to vacillate between the alpha's and the beta's (as Rollo Tomassi terms 'alpha fvcks beta bucks') to satisfy either side of her sexual strategy -- the desire to fornicate for superior genetics (alpha fvcks), and the desire for a mate who will nest and provide resources for the offspring long-term (beta bucks).

Using rigid with-or-without-you alpha game will attract her to you sexually, but it won't *keep* her attracted to you emotionally. Remember that women act based on how they *feel emotionally* and she will lose attraction for a man if she feels emotionally invalidated and disconnected by his IDGAF alpha player attitude. There has to be reciprocation of affection, warmth, and emotional openness or she will check out and move on to someone she can feel safe and fulfilled with.

Your best chances of keeping a woman is to exhibit traits of both alpha and beta, thus satisfying the totality of her reproductive strategy. Being too hardcore alpha -- too aloof and indifferent (a 'cold fish'), too dictatorial in your leadership frame, and making her feel like an expendable mistress -- will alienate her emotionally, cause her to resent you, and bring the relationship to its demise by driving her away. Women do not remain in relationships with players, at some point you will need to be her partner. However, of course, being too much of a sensitive, submissive beta nurturer and provider, and thus living within the frame of her security needs, will kill her sexual desire for you in short order.

Relationship game is about finding a sweet-spot balance of maintaining the dominant frame in the relationship, with aspects of sweet sensitive beta calibrated to your woman's individual emotional needs which adds value to her life. Finding that balance can be more difficult than pickup.

I would look into Corey Wayne, I believe he offers a more balanced, less red pill misogyny view on dating women where he emphasizes being a good boyfriend, lover, and partner, not just a pickup artist.

 

[sazc]

The answer is actually simple

"Just don't be an a$$hole"

 

[Robert28]

The answer is actually simple

"Just don't be an a$$hole"

I dunno. I’ve come across a lot of women that still harbored strong feelings of their “ex who was an a$$hole”. Being a pushover and needy will end a relationship faster than being an a$$hole will. A woman will stay in a relationship MUCH longer with said a$$hole than she will a non-a$$hole. It’s a simple observation I’ve made on MANY women in my lifetime. Now you can’t be an a$$hole 24/7 but you better be one at least 50% of the time at least. If you aren’t one then fake it until you make it.

 

[rjc149]

I dunno. I’ve come across a lot of women that still harbored strong feelings of their “ex who was an a$$hole”. Being a pushover and needy will end a relationship faster than being an a$$hole will. A woman will stay in a relationship MUCH longer with said a$$hole than she will a non-a$$hole. It’s a simple observation I’ve made on MANY women in my lifetime. Now you can’t be an a$$hole 24/7 but you better be one at least 50% of the time at least. If you aren’t one then fake it until you make it.

Women who harbor strong feelings for their ******* exes are harboring feelings for their strength and confidence, not that they were *******s. Authentically strong, alpha men transcend the need to be an ******* to convey their dominance. They demonstrate that they CAN BE *******s when necessary, but are usually charismatic, warm, and affectionate with people. In my lifetime, I've observed that these men are typically the most sought-after by women.

 

[zekko]

I dunno. I’ve come across a lot of women that still harbored strong feelings of their “ex who was an a$$hole"

The guy might be an @sshole, but he's still an ex. Unless a woman is very weak minded, she's not going to keep that guy around if he's an @ss. Like a guy here, he may be fond of a woman, but if she consistently shows disrespect, she's got to go.

I don't believe she was attracted to the guy because he was an @ss. I think she was attracted because he was good looking, was good in bed, made her laugh, whatever. But he also happened to be an @ss, and that's why he had to go. Even if she does remember the good times.

I don't buy this premise that a guy has to learn to be an @sshole or he won't be able to keep women. Not at all.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Nothing changes:

-Confidence
-(Self) Control
-Challenge

Good luck.

 

[marmel75]

Simple...once you are in a relationship for a period of time you have to show vulnerability and some weakness and show a softer side...without those things a woman will not view you as being compatible long term

 

[Robert28]

Women who harbor strong feelings for their ******* exes are harboring feelings for their strength and confidence, not that they were *******s. Authentically strong, alpha men transcend the need to be an ******* to convey their dominance. They demonstrate that they CAN BE *******s when necessary, but are usually charismatic, warm, and affectionate with people. In my lifetime, I've observed that these men are typically the most sought-after by women.

That’s just it, 9 times out of 10 the ******* ISN’T really authentically strong, confident, or even dominate. They’re hiding a lot of insecurities by putting on that front and you can smell them overcompensating a mile away. Some of the baddest dudes I’ve ever met in my life were also some of the nicest. They would make an “*******” with the traits you described, piss his pants because the ******* would then have to show the world he’s not what he’s pretending to be. Most of the time your typical ******* is really SUPER beta underneath, most just don’t know how to recognize it that they’re hiding it.

 

[rjc149]

That’s just it, 9 times out of 10 the ******* ISN’T really authentically strong, confident, or even dominate. They’re hiding a lot of insecurities by putting on that front and you can smell them overcompensating a mile away. Some of the baddest dudes I’ve ever met in my life were also some of the nicest. They would make an “*******” with the traits you described, piss his pants because the ******* would then have to show the world he’s not what he’s pretending to be. Most of the time your typical ******* is really SUPER beta underneath, most just don’t know how to recognize it that they’re hiding it.

You are 100% correct. Men who are authentically alpha and abundant aren't afraid of showing their women that they love them out of fear of appearing "beta." They don't rigidly adhere to some draconian dogma of game so prevalent in red pill circles ("never ever do this, never ever say that, be alpha at all times"etc). These are the men who are secure enough with themselves to be a little mushy and sweet and sensitive with their women, because they want their women to feel understood and loved. And when done within the overall frame of alpha dominance, these "beta" moments are very endearing and further deepen the love their women feel for them. This is the type of man who adds value to his woman's life.

These are the men who can hang on to really hot girlfriends, because their mindset, abundance, and alpha frame is authentic. Being an a$$hole is just try-hard.

 

[zekko]

Here's my advice:

Obviously you don't want to make stupid mistakes like becoming a needy little b!tch or getting fat, complacent, and out of shape.

But that aside, most relationships have a certain shelf life. There's not a whole heckuva lot you can do to artificially extend them, even if such a thing were desirable. Just be the best you that you can be, in all areas, and your relationship will do what it's going to do. Maybe you'll learn something along the way. Realize it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out.

When it comes to spending time with her, keep your focus on making your interactions together fun. Basically, stay strong, keep improving, and if she wants to stay around she will. Because if she doesn't want to stay around, there isn't a damn thing you can do about it anyway.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Simple...once you are in a relationship for a period of time you have to show vulnerability and some weakness and show a softer side...without those things a woman will not view you as being compatible long term

Agreed...to an extent. However, I think a man must use these qualities like hot sauce, a few drops at a time as they're not what initially attracted her to him in the first place. Most women are attracted to strong, confident, assertive men. This I think we can all agree on. Start getting too soft, even 3 years in, and she'll start to wonder what the f*uck happened to the strong man she met.

You can't be Stone Cold Steve Austin 100% of the time (not even he is probably, lol) BUT, proceed with caution on the soft, vulnerable, beta stuff.

I'm very passionate with my women and do a lot of foreplay, touching, and kissing during sex. I also like to hold their hand in public and always when crossing the street. This is more non-verbal communication but really conveys how I feel.

One thing I know women have noticed, and maybe this is my way of being "beta," is that I have a 90# Doberman Pinscher I just adore. Sometimes I will hug the dog and baby talk a bit to it, the girl always notices this like, "Wow, he DOES have a sweeter side." But it's indirect. I'm not gushing my feelings and spilling my guts to the gf. Seems to score big points.

 

[rjc149]

Yes the key is to maintain the dominant alpha frame at all times. It must never be ambiguous or beta, as if this is the case, your attempts to be 'alpha' will come off as controlling and ulterior, and will repulse her. You are the man, she is the woman, you call the shots and she submits, you check her immediately when she acts out. This masculine/feminine polarity must be maintained to maintain respect and attraction.

But, also be sweet, affectionate, playful, emotionally open, attentive, and someone she can feel safe being vulnerable with. "Sprinkled in like hot sauce' is a good analogy, just the right amount to keep things flavorful and interesting for her. This is being her hypergamy's best option -- alpha with beta flavor. Because trust me -- if she still feels like one of your 'plates' after a time, if she's still guessing as to where she stands with you, if there is still too much of a chase dynamic, the lack of security will turn her emotions off and she will eject. And often, into the arms of a nurturing beta orbiter waiting to make his move while she cries on his shoulder about you. It happens enough to be a cliche.

 

[zekko]

You can't be Stone Cold Steve Austin 100% of the time (not even he is probably, lol) BUT, proceed with caution on the soft, vulnerable, beta stuff.

Funny you mention that, because on RAW this past week, they had a reunion show, and Stone Cold was on. He came out at the end and was telling everyone how he loved them and how they were all family. Of course he also drank some beers. But he took a little bit of mild criticism on the internet for not doing his usual schtick of stunning everyone. Regardless, the crowd there seemed to like it.

One thing I know women have noticed, and maybe this is my way of being "beta," is that I have a 90# Doberman Pinscher I just adore. Sometimes I will hug the dog and baby talk a bit to it, the girl always notices this like, "Wow, he DOES have a sweeter side." But it's indirect. I'm not gushing my feelings and spilling my guts to the gf. Seems to score big points.

I'm surprised you haven't got the old "You treat that dog better than me" line, lol.

 

[Spaz]

There is no game. You simply improve yourself continuously, love your life, and facilitate people that you enjoy into it. If you enjoy a woman's company you invite her out and have a good time with her. This doesn't change if a LTR manifests. You still gauge the level of respect she shows and whether you still enjoy her company. If the respect drops you check and then disengage if it continues. Excessive emphasis on intricate game leads to harboring resentment.

In the end it all boils down to leadership of the man in said relationship.

 

[Fireballs]

All relationships have an expiry date, just have another girl ready to go when it ends

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

The answer is actually simple

"Just don't be an a$$hole"

Wrong. Sometimes being an a$$hole is necessary. You may disagree with a man and think he's being mean when in reality he is manifesting his vision for the betterment of everyone.

 

[Trump]

I was reading the other thread and our member marmel75 replied that "The game used to get a woman is not the game used to keep a woman."

Now, I'm still improving my getting a woman game, what do you think is the main difference between the two?

Come on bro, how can you not know the difference?

Game to get a woman is what you do to make her fall in love. Promise her everything, be polite, be respectful, love her friends, love her family, etc, etc, etc.

One you get what you want from her, i.e. sex or marriage or a child, then you can act differently because you got what you want from her. She already bought so now she can’t do anything. The money is in your account.

Everyone in life has an agenda and they act accordingly to fulfill said agenda. You have to play the part until they buy, then you can tell them to get
lost.

Don’t you guys experience life?