Yes but let OP learn to let go of his supplicating traits 1st before embarking on another equally if not more important journey.
asking for advice about uninterested wife
- Thread starter metalwater
- Start date
Tdawg
Don Juan
I'm your age and married and my wife and life is the polar opposite of what you wrote. My wife will bend over backwards to make me happy and if she see's i'm in a bad mood, I can tell she's walking on eggshells. She doesn't spend a dime on herself and does everything around the house and if I try and help out, she tells me to go relax cause I had a hard day at work.
Happy for you man, happy for you. Not what I ended up getting but hey, when you do dumb things, expect dumb results.
metalwater
Master Don Juan
How did you do that? Was it on purpose, or did you do nothing and it just came natural? Its clear to me that some guys are born blessed or are schooled young about such things. Others like me, only now after a lifetime of crap.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Now that. Is a wife.
Black Widow Void
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Metalwater, Although I'm not married, we both seem to be in the 'mature men' age group.
When I've had failing relationships, I've learned to reevaluate and apply introspection. I'll explain.
I'll think back to a time when it was a level playing field. I'll then recall those first few times when I sort of tittled my head (recalling her behavior being a bit peculiar, but not thinking much of it at the time).
Then... I reflect and think about anything I could have said, done etc... which 'communicated' that this behavior was acceptable. Nine times out of ten, it's because I ended up enabling this behavior. I didn't sub=communicate (not verbally) that she had crossed the line. I'm not saying that you need to act "alpha" or macho or anything. We all have our own style and you know what's been best for you to achieve the most positive outcome.
And then when it gets to a breaking point, we (or at least, I) have made the mistake of asking "what's wrong?" The reason this isn't a good idea is because it 'communicates' that we are too invested and dependent on their response (which we hope will be positive).
Some of the best advice I've read (though I have difficulty in putting it into practice) is to be aloof and look un-phased. When you are invested, it's difficult (this I know from experience). Also, as others have stated, look your best. In any relationship, tables can turn, but they can also turn back around for you. If you (at least) 'appear' to be unaffected and self-assured, you stand a better chance.
Good Luck!
When I've had failing relationships, I've learned to reevaluate and apply introspection. I'll explain.
I'll think back to a time when it was a level playing field. I'll then recall those first few times when I sort of tittled my head (recalling her behavior being a bit peculiar, but not thinking much of it at the time).
Then... I reflect and think about anything I could have said, done etc... which 'communicated' that this behavior was acceptable. Nine times out of ten, it's because I ended up enabling this behavior. I didn't sub=communicate (not verbally) that she had crossed the line. I'm not saying that you need to act "alpha" or macho or anything. We all have our own style and you know what's been best for you to achieve the most positive outcome.
And then when it gets to a breaking point, we (or at least, I) have made the mistake of asking "what's wrong?" The reason this isn't a good idea is because it 'communicates' that we are too invested and dependent on their response (which we hope will be positive).
Some of the best advice I've read (though I have difficulty in putting it into practice) is to be aloof and look un-phased. When you are invested, it's difficult (this I know from experience). Also, as others have stated, look your best. In any relationship, tables can turn, but they can also turn back around for you. If you (at least) 'appear' to be unaffected and self-assured, you stand a better chance.
Good Luck!
Focal core
Master Don Juan
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You only needs 3 things in any relationship to make it works.. Admiration, trust, and respect is one of them.. Damn ur guys are getting old.
metalwater
Master Don Juan
Well, it can't hurt to ask. How to find a purpose ? The purpose before was to have a life/family/disney style. Clearly that is/was a wrong idea and goal. Not a facebook purpose, a real one.. I could brag about all the achievments in support of that previous goal, but alas I am here. How did others do/solve the purpose thing ?
I am definitely not an expert in this situation. However, I've had many "bored wives" approach me about sex (which I don't do) and I can tell you what they seem to categorically be longing for: passion, excitement, arousal - they want to feel desired.
Also, women tend to mirror back to us what we are presenting to them. So, you must ask yourself if you actually sexually and romantically "want" your wife. If so, how are you or aren't you expressing that?
It's up to you in whatever direction you choose. But if you choose to stay and work on it, I'd suggest working out, become more "masculine energy focused" around her. Take her out of town for the weekend or at least for the night. Talk to her, tell her that you've noticed that you have both been growing apart. Tell her something about how you take responsibility for her not having felt sexy enough and desired around you and then tell her that this all has to change. Tell her how much you desire her, preferably in public, like a restaurant (slow down your voice and keep total eye contact as you do this). Tell her what you are going to do to her. And then take her back to wherever you are staying and do it.
Then, basically starting banging your wife passionately and wantonly as much as possible.
Seriously, this would save so many marriages.
Best of luck with whatever you choose!
Also, women tend to mirror back to us what we are presenting to them. So, you must ask yourself if you actually sexually and romantically "want" your wife. If so, how are you or aren't you expressing that?
It's up to you in whatever direction you choose. But if you choose to stay and work on it, I'd suggest working out, become more "masculine energy focused" around her. Take her out of town for the weekend or at least for the night. Talk to her, tell her that you've noticed that you have both been growing apart. Tell her something about how you take responsibility for her not having felt sexy enough and desired around you and then tell her that this all has to change. Tell her how much you desire her, preferably in public, like a restaurant (slow down your voice and keep total eye contact as you do this). Tell her what you are going to do to her. And then take her back to wherever you are staying and do it.
Then, basically starting banging your wife passionately and wantonly as much as possible.
Seriously, this would save so many marriages.
Best of luck with whatever you choose!
metalwater
Master Don Juan
thanks. hmm.. I can retire anytime since a few years ago. new car whenever want to. I have really strong beta skills extra houses... etc..
For now I am really working hard on physical self. I always wanted(but did not do it) to be a much more physically impressive guy, so now is the time. It feels decent working on it but not something I would think of as a purpose... but maybe...
Maybe I'll start another business... but that is just a tool...
I don't think solving world hunger is in scope for me... but someplace between that and doing nothing...
Gmoney9486
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I'm really curious about how you would do this. DM me if you dont want to post it publicly.
Yes, he got something out of it, he got a financial and emotional drain for the next however many years. Look, those kids are highly unlikely to respect him or love him, he's got a 24/7 mindjob going on with his kids. You think he's actually gotten something positive out of that?
The biggest problem with the modern family is women, period. Think about it. They break up families. They warp kid's minds and turn them against the fathers. They edit the father's presence out of the home and relegate him to a battery, a resource for her to provision to the kids as she sees fit. How would the kids ever have a positive image for the father in most family scenarios? Even where the father can hold it together enough to stay in the home?
And where does the state fit into all of this? They enforce the female hypergamy mindset on the father and the family. Gee, I wonder why we, as a society, turn out all of these low class individuals, men and women. I wonder why these 20+ year olds that everyone talks about on here have literally no idea how to interact with men in a healthy way, could it have anything to do with these last couple generations of "mothers?"
Tdawg
Don Juan
When I was 18, I got this girl pregnant and had a daughter; she was 15 at the time. I didn't know jack all about women at that time. Me and that girl lived together for roughly 7 years and in those 7 years, we fought emotionally and physically most of the time. I remember her flirting hard with my own brother, my friends, her professors...you name it she was on it. Like I said, at that time, I didn't know jack all about women. I didn't realize what "validation" was and that it was a fundamental need in humans.
Anyhow, this girl was bad news BUT to this day, I owe her for all my happiness life has gave me. Why? because while she was off doing her bull****, she was gradually teaching me what I needed to know about life, especially women. I vowed to never be put in that position again and told myself that I was better than that and deserved much better. Packing my **** and driving off 3000 miles away was the best and worst day of my life; I remember it vividly like it was yesterday (that was almost 20 years ago)
I had three years between breaking up with that awful ***** and meeting my current wife. I dated a lot and had a few relationships but refused to settle down because the girls I was meeting had this validation thing going (to varying degrees but it was there). Don't ever fall for a girl that needs a lot of validation outside the marriage. Don't fall for a high maintenance girl. Don't fall for a girl that needs to put on her makeup to go to get gas. These things scream validation.
So all I can say is that if and when you are done with this relationship, then you learn from your mistakes and I can promise you if you do that, your next relationship will be a lot more fulfilling because now you know what you need and now you know how to pick em right.
kudos, I think that's where most married guys make their mistake, they rush back into another relationship. You learned your lesson the first time and believe me, that's worth it's weight in gold. You being able to see a terrible quality woman, even through the haze of good sex, you can't put a price on that.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
Curious why you're on a site designed predominantly for single men, then.
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
I have to tell you, the "they want to be desired" crap is just that, crap. Those women usually have guys at home that desire them. They may go about it the wrong way, but they are desired. They simply want chad to pound them out while they keep the cuck at home to take care of them. I get what you're saying but let's not confuse wanting to be desired for feeling desire. They just don't want what they have at home. It's like wanting to go out for a steak because you don't want to stay home for a sandwich.
What I have honestly found through the course of my experiences is the woman simply wears the guy out. He starts out doing things to show her she's desired but she takes that for granted, gets lazy and he eventually stops doing the things to show her she's desired. She then complains that she's not desired. I mean, why should someone continue to keep trying to show her she's desired when she doesn't reciprocate? It'd be like being expected to keep going to work even though you're not being paid. But that's where the long arm of the law has perverted modern relationships, it forces the man to keep going to work and not get paid. If you have a kid, you're on the marriage/relationship plantation. If you're married, you're on the marriage/relationship plantation.
Epic Days
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This is a subject of another world. If men understood what’s going to happen to them, they would never once consider the idea of marriage.
Truly right on the money. Most marriages are like a slow motion train wreck. He slows things down by continuing to try hard to get back to where they once were. It's like chasing that initial high at the beginning of the relationship. And the harder he tries, it's almost like she builds up more of a disdain for him. She consider him a simp for working so hard, like some emperor looking down on their loyal subjects with a sort of disdain.
She's now above him and what he wants matters less and less, what he needs is less and less important. Once kids come along, you're a distant third, a distant memory that is only necessary to be paid attention to when the bills need paid, she needs a break for you to watch the kids or generally needs to blow off some steam at your expense. She enjoys undermining him to the kids and her family and if you push back at all, you're branded an abuser.
Could not agree more, no sane man in the west would consider marriage or kids. This is coming from someone who truly enjoys their kids but it is difficult at best to enjoy them with an enemy combatant in my home.
metalwater
Master Don Juan
yes. and all the other red pill docs/books. understanding is easy now from all those writings... real hard to do the right actions.
