Went on a solid 9 date from match tonight. But.....

[marmel75]

Well she seemed awkward and wanted to get home before dark because she had a race in the morning to run and she really is not a night person. She also doesn't drink. She drank water and was telling me since she doesn't like TV (in text messages)doesn't own one and would go to the sports bar to watch some of the big hockey games and she'd just drink water and tip the waiter and she complained to me about guys constantly hitting on her and she didn't like it, especially if they drink.

In her messages she sounded like that. Complaining about guys hitting on her and turned off by it.

She's been divorced 8 years. Why isn't she dating, why is she on OLD, and not have a BF from normal interactions? She's literally a 9 to 9.5 on the hot scale, good job and all and is on OLD. She says it's because he friends told her to do it and try to meet a couple of people over the summer at least and then tells me how her husband just decided he didn't want to be married anymore.
She has the looks, a great job and this.

The only thing I can think of is she's a total snob based on her attitude at times on the date mixed in.

Stop making assumptions about women and deciding what they are going to do for them. She drove 60 miles one way to see You and you don't think she wanted a "return on her investment" in some way?

You will screw yourself out of a lot of potential bangs by doing this. Always assume a woman is on a date with you because she wants to fvck you and act accordingly.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I would just hit her up for another date and see where it goes. I would avoid thanking her for the other night. Women like this need to be taught that they are not above you, and believe me, they want a man to teach them this. That’s her holy grail... the man who’s not afraid of her and who can put her in her place.

Just set up another date after an appropriate time. I would make it more of an action date, not a formal dinner or bar thing.

My follow-up would be a quick “Hey, great meeting you the other night.” Maybe make one little comment about something you both talked about.

In short, don’t let her think you’re impressed with her. In fact, act a little on the fence. Then in another day or two, tell her you’re doing xyz on an upcoming day. “Why don’t you join me?”

The fact that she viewed your profile after she got home is huge. It tells you that she still has some interest, though she is unsure. Most of them are unsure after the first date or two. It’s your job to wear away her defenses if she qualifies.

 

[Hal9000]

The reality is that there are plenty of hot chicks with terrible personalities. It sounds like you're so enamored with her looks you are willing to overlook an obviously kooky/flaky personality. Unless you're just trying to have sex with her I'd steer clear. You should never be with someone you feel like you need to apologize to for your life or what you do for a living.

 

[marmel75]

I would just hit her up for another date and see where it goes. I would avoid thanking her for the other night. Women like this need to be taught that they are not above you, and believe me, they want a man to teach them this. That’s her holy grail... the man who’s not afraid of her and who can put her in her place.

Just set up another date after an appropriate time. I would make it more of an action date, not a formal dinner or bar thing.

My follow-up would be a quick “Hey, great meeting you the other night.” Maybe make one little comment about something you both talked about.

In short, don’t let her think you’re impressed with her. In fact, act a little on the fence. Then in another day or two, tell her you’re doing xyz on an upcoming day. “Why don’t you join me?”

The fact that she viewed your profile after she got home is huge. It tells you that she still has some interest, though she is unsure. Most of them are unsure after the first date or two. It’s your job to wear away her defenses if she qualifies.

He's almost certainly either not going to get a reply or get the LJBF line or get some version of "I just didnt think we had enough chemistry"...

Thats why it is important to recognize this IN DATE and ensure you are pushing the envelope as much as possible because you are never guaranteed a second chance, even when the date DOES go well in your mind.

 

[Atom Smasher]

She could be very insecure as most girls are, and could turn out to be ok once that is dealt with.

If I actually liked her and thought she was just putting up a front because of insecurity, I would probably give her another go.

But for me, I’ve got to actually like the person. I’ve learned to not get blinded by looks.

 

[Bullbearpig]

Yuk. Yea this was the opposite of a land whale. I mean she was stuck up and snobby. If you could just get rid of those two I actually found the shyness kind of cute in a way. I just don't see why one has to be so openly snobby. She was really tearing people down with no degrees too as losers. I mean I got a degree so it doesn't pertain to me but I kinda tried deflecting it cause I thought it was a little inappropriate.

These kinds of chicks can fvck off as far as I'm concerned. I don't care how hot they are.
College degrees mean nothing. Most of the time the biggest idiots are the college educated idiots.

 

[biggoal]

These kinds of chicks can fvck off as far as I'm concerned. I don't care how hot they are.
College degrees mean nothing. Most of the time the biggest idiots are the college educated idiots.

Why do I notice A LOT of teachers and professors with graduate degrees and such on OLD? Even though they have a lot of time off and such to meet people why are so many on OLD compared to other professions?

 

[marmel75]

Why do I notice A LOT of teachers and professors with graduate degrees and such on OLD? Even though they have a lot of time off and such to meet people why are so many on OLD compared to other professions?

Because they are very oponionated and intolerant of other people with opposite opinions so they end up arguing and fighting a lot over dumb stuff. Nobody wants to deal with that so they end up chasing their significant others away after a while.

 

[biggoal]

Because they are very oponionated and intolerant of other people with opposite opinions so they end up arguing and fighting a lot over dumb stuff. Nobody wants to deal with that so they end up chasing their significant others away after a while.

So this HB9 probably chased her husband away? She said he was just "tired" of being married.

 

[Hal9000]

Because they are very oponionated and intolerant of other people with opposite opinions so they end up arguing and fighting a lot over dumb stuff. Nobody wants to deal with that so they end up chasing their significant others away after a while.

These same women have the "if you support Trump I want nothing to do with you" in their profiles. Funny how you very rarely ever saw stuff like that when Obama was in office. Having an opinion is fine, preferred even, but saying anyone that disagrees with you is not even worth considering is setting themselves up for spinster status down the road.

 

[biggoal]

These same women have the "if you support Trump I want nothing to do with you" in their profiles. Funny how you very rarely ever saw stuff like that when Obama was in office. Having an opinion is fine, preferred even, but saying anyone that disagrees with you is not even worth considering is setting themselves up for spinster status down the road.

Especially on places like match where the clientele is a bit higher end I see this a lot as well regarding President Trump. This is why I quit listing conservative on my profile and list nothing for politics. And it sucks because a lot of them who say this in their profile are the better looking ones.

 

[Dash Riprock]

A few thoughts for OP:

First, this notion of "she's so hot WHY is she on OLD" is 100% BS. It's just regurgitated crap from guys who have zero success on OLD or are under 25. Look, once you reach a certain age, you don't hang out in bars, parties are limited, dating at work is a no-no, organic meets are tough, etc., etc. There are A LOT of hot available women on OLD because their options at a certain age are limited too. So don't give in to this BS I read about " If they're on OLD they're damaged, BPD", all this s*hit. It's jut not true.

Second, you have nothing to lose by asking her out again. If she's in shape, take her hiking or paddle boarding or something fun and active. Get her talking more about herself. Flip her some playful s*hit and see how she takes it. Sometimes hot girls are really taken back when you tease them because 99% of guys are afraid to. If she has a good sense of humor and/or fires back playfully, really good sign. If she gets pissed, really bad sign.

First dates are usually really awkward and you generally cannot make a good determination in just one, one hour interaction. Give her three dates and see what happens. Honestly, she sounds bored and available so go for it. Get a few drinks in her and maybe you can see how that bod looks up close and personal. Probably hasn't had good s*ex in a while.

Good luck.

 

[biggoal]

A few thoughts for OP:

First, this notion of "she's so hot WHY is she on OLD" is 100% BS. It's just regurgitated crap from guys who have zero success on OLD or are under 25. Look, once you reach a certain age, you don't hang out in bars, parties are limited, dating at work is a no-no, organic meets are tough, etc., etc. There are A LOT of hot available women on OLD because their options at a certain age are limited too. So don't give in to this BS I read about " If they're on OLD their damaged, BPD", all this s*hit. It's jut not true.

Second, you have nothing to lose by asking her out again. If she's in shape, take her hiking or paddle boarding or something fun and active. Get her talking more about herself. Flip her some playful s*hit and she how she takes it. Sometimes hot girls are really taken back when you tease them because 99% of guys are afraid to. If she has a good sense of humor and/or fires back playfully, really good sign. If she gets pissed, really bad sign.

First dates are usually really awkward and you generally cannot make a good determination in just one, one hour interaction. Give her three dates and see what happens. Honestly, she sounds bored and available so go for it. Get a few drinks in her and maybe you can see how that bod looks up close and personal. Probably hasn't had good s*ex in a while.

Good luck.

She doesn't drink much though and pretty much has made that clear. I don't think she'd like my family and relatives lol then. Not drunks but you know like to drink beer and such at family gatherings.

I agree about the first date thing. She was visibly nervous when walking in the door. I tried to loosen her up but she seemed really uptight and figitey and I could tell just wasn't comfortable. I will send her a short text tomorrow just saying thanks and enjoyed myself (even though I didn't really lol) and see if she replies. She said she had some event or something from the gym up here next weekend. If she has any interest maybe she will want to meetup after. Again, besides being very snobby, she just seemed really strange acting and not into it.

 

[biggoal]

Why was she blowing up my phone so much with texting though before the date for those two days?

 

[sazc]

I just went on match for a minute to see who viewed me and I noticed she viewed my profile 3 hours ago, about 2 hours after the date. Why in the world would she view it again after this lackluster date? At least in my opinion it was. I mean I was pretty chill and relaxed but as described in my original post on her end she seemed awkward and sorta uptight in addition to the snob stuff.

Because she was thinking about you and wanted to look at your pictures and read your profile again. It's a good sign. Don't let your head talk you out of her, explore this

 

[biggoal]

Because she was thinking about you and wanted to look at your pictures and read your profile again. It's a good sign. Don't let your head talk you out of her, explore this

Tomorrow I will text her since it will be two days afterwards. Some other odd stuff I think a couple of her friends she had view my profile. A day before the date someone from the same town viewed me and then today a hot chick from the same city viewed me even though I didn't message or view her. Athletic looking too. I wonder if she had lady friends check it out.

Is that common for them to show their friends before or after a date to get approval or opinion.

I really don't think this goes anywhere. She didn't seem into it but as I said she was really texting me like crazy for almost two days.

 

[sazc]

Tomorrow I will text her since it will be two days afterwards. Some other odd stuff I think a couple of her friends she had view my profile. A day before the date someone from the same town viewed me and then today a hot chick from the same city viewed me even though I didn't message or view her. Athletic looking too. I wonder if she had lady friends check it out.

Is that common for them to show their friends before or after a date to get approval or opinion.

I really don't think this goes anywhere. She didn't seem into it but as I said she was really texting me like crazy for almost two days.

Yes, that's common.

She was either saying "look at the jerk I went on a date with" or she was saying "check out this got I just had a date with, he was (insert compliment)"

You will know which by asking her out again.

 

[biggoal]

Yes, that's common.

She was either saying "look at the jerk I went on a date with" or she was saying "check out this got I just had a date with, he was (insert compliment)"

You will know which by asking her out again.

I don't think she would go out with me again unless she was desperate. I mean she seemed skittish and nervous and uptight. If she would have really liked me she would have been more chatty in person and it would have lasted longer.

 

[sazc]

I don't think she would go out with me again unless she was desperate. I mean she seemed skittish and nervous and uptight. If she would have really liked me she would have been more chatty in person and it would have lasted longer.

Maybe she was nervous? I'm not sure why you're deciding what her behavior meant. Why not ask her out again to get a definitive answer one way or the other?

 

[Stoic]

Dude, you are over thinking this.

One text saying you are doing xyz activity and asking her if she wants to join will give you everything you need to know.