Ghosted by yet another woman, I don't get it.

[sangheilios]

On weekend evenings I have a part time gig delivering for a local pizza place, I actually make a lot of money and I get to see different parts of my area, walk around, etc.

Anyway, on one of the deliveries I had earlier this evening I was at one of the apartment complexes and an attractive woman in her mid to early 20s answered the door. We were chatting a bit and she seemed pretty friendly and open with me so I asked her if she'd like to go out sometime. Without even the slightest hesitation she said she'd love to and then I just had her confirm the number on the delivery slip was hers.

When I get back to my car I text saying this was xyz the delivery guy and then she instantly replied. I drive back to the store, pickup the next order for delivery and then texted her after I finished that delivery. I said that I wouldn't be getting out until later that night and that I was going to be busy the next couple days but would be free later in the week and told her to let me know when she was available so I could make a plan for us to do something together.

I didn't even get a simple ok or anything this evening so I just assumed what always happens whenever I try to meet women was continuing yet again, just chronic ghosting over and over. I intuitively knew earlier in the evening that was the case but I gave it some time and sure enough no response, which naturally lead to me being very annoyed and confused. I just erased the text conversation/number so as not to remind myself of how this stuff keeps happening to me for no reason. I actually get pretty happy and feel good, with what always appears to be a score, and yet time after time it's just another case of being pseudo lead on.


I literally don't understand why this keeps happening, it's like nothing I do or try differently works. It literally makes me say to myself "Why the hell do I even bother when this is all that happens?". I feel like I'm going insane when this keeps happening to me and it's actually starting to stress me out.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

On weekend evenings I have a part time gig delivering for a local pizza place, I actually make a lot of money and I get to see different parts of my area, walk around, etc.

Anyway, on one of the deliveries I had earlier this evening I was at one of the apartment complexes and an attractive woman in her mid to early 20s answered the door. We were chatting a bit and she seemed pretty friendly and open with me so I asked her if she'd like to go out sometime. Without even the slightest hesitation she said she'd love to and then I just had her confirm the number on the delivery slip was hers.

When I get back to my car I text saying this was xyz the delivery guy and then she instantly replied. I drive back to the store, pickup the next order for delivery and then texted her after I finished that delivery. I said that I wouldn't be getting out until later that night and that I was going to be busy the next couple days but would be free later in the week and told her to let me know when she was available so I could make a plan for us to do something together.

I didn't even get a simple ok or anything this evening so I just assumed what always happens whenever I try to meet women was continuing yet again, just chronic ghosting over and over. I intuitively knew earlier in the evening that was the case but I gave it some time and sure enough no response, which naturally lead to me being very annoyed and confused. I just erased the text conversation/number so as not to remind myself of how this stuff keeps happening to me for no reason. I actually get pretty happy and feel good, with what always appears to be a score, and yet time after time it's just another case of being pseudo lead on.


I literally don't understand why this keeps happening, it's like nothing I do or try differently works. It literally makes me say to myself "Why the hell do I even bother when this is all that happens?". I feel like I'm going insane when this keeps happening to me and it's actually starting to stress me out.

Are you fvcking anyone currently? When men get into droughts their timing gets off and they cant even buy their way into the puzzy.

 

[lamath]

She just had a medium to low interest level, with your limited interaction its normal imo.

Dont take this personal, you did good asking her out.
But imo you need to get better at spotting body language.

 

[sangheilios]

She just had a medium to low interest level, with your limited interaction its normal imo.

Dont take this personal, you did good asking her out.
But imo you need to get better at spotting body language.

She did respond when I texted her. I've gotten numbers before and had them not reply at all but I don't quite understand why they'd respond and then just disappear, as it'd be easier to just ignore in the first place.

The only real opportunities I have to meet women are in really spontaneous situations like this, cold approaches, etc.

 

[sangheilios]

Are you fvcking anyone currently? When men get into droughts their timing gets off and they cant even buy their way into the puzzy.

Not at all, and of course I'm aware of this simple fact. Pretty hard to get anything remotely close to that when all that happens is chronic ghosting.

 

[Julian]

Dang bro u rly need to be put up on some game.

1. Girls give their numbers out like candy. Acting nice and giving the number to guys means nothing.
2. Dont count your eggs before they hatch.
3. You are pizza delivery guy. Your status put you on par with the garbage man. No offense.
4. You are probably texting and giving off some lame nice guy vibes. “Oh hey there im the pizza guy! It was great too meet you im free next week blablabla” dude that chit dont work in this universe

 

[Spaz]

I like you and think you have plenty of potential which is why I'm taking this time to write this for you, just once and no more.

Get ur life in order 1st.

You need to uplift ur socioeconomic status through a combination of education, both formal and informal.

If u r not inclined towards learning via the traditional method of getting a degree then at least get a vocational certification like air-conditioning repair, plumbing, electrical wiring, machinists, etc by attending night classes.

Those are high paying skilled jobs and you could even open a small business with enough money to put ur future kids through university.

For now, stop being preoccupied with women, if you need sex or female companionship, pay a professional to fill in the gaps as a temporary measure until things are in good order.

Ur primary mission or ambition right now is to fast track ur career path or prospects in life, economically.

Only then you can proceed to learn the informal education on social interactions through Sosuave and apply it in real life.

I forsee that you'll naturally prosper once you're refocused ur energies and temporarily put women aside.

Take this chance to turn ur life around.

 

[Plinco]

Don't take women seriously outside of family and business.

 

[sazc]

So, first of all, you said you would be free later in the week that's TH/FR right? It is entirely possible she believes there's no need to text you right now, she'll text you later this week.

Texting her immediately the way you did was okay - " this is pizza dude" - but the next text made you look thirsty. You just met the woman, she's a legit stranger, and are giving her a rundown of your schedule and kinda apologizing for not being available.

IMO you should have done what she decided to do to you. Go silent, build the intensity and wonder. You should have waited a few days (because you were busy) and then texted and asked her out.

All is not lost. Do NOT text her. Wait and see if she texts you later this week. She may. She also might not. Since you left the ball in her court do not reach back out to her. You may have to drive a pizza to her again, just be cool, act as if nothing transpired.

 

[marmel75]

Not at all, and of course I'm aware of this simple fact. Pretty hard to get anything remotely close to that when all that happens is chronic ghosting.

We can't answer this for you. You need to be able to figure out why its happening but make no mistake its something you are doing/not doing in your interactions when it happens all the time

 

[Rodrigo]

You didn't have enough time to work on building attraction with her as you were working and needed to move with your tasks for the day. Then you simply overdid the texting. Also, girls don't have much of a problem giving their contacts - for them this falls within the safety zone. They don't have problems chatting right away either. As soon as you throw the offer however, especially if it is a straight date invite, they just back away and go all cold, especially if they didn't have enough time to interact with the guy. Why? Because that could potentially require some action on their end or better yet have them make a decision which essentially pulls them out of their comfort zone.

That being said, ghosting on the guy seems like the safest route for the girl and the least harmful one for the dude trying to date her. Women do this all the time: younger, older, pretty ones, fat ones, 4s, 8s, all of them. You also need to consider that hotter and younger girls would usually have a bunch of social circles around them, plus they'd get hit on all the time - college, work, bars etc. and if you also throw the social networks and dating apps in the mix, the number of guys trying to get her, on a daily basis, is simply huge.

Now, if you'd just look at things from the opposite perspective and imagine you are surrounded by dozens of women every day, many of them offering you all sorts of things, you'd just be very careful and selective with which ones you talk to, which ones you go out with and eventually, there will be some of them on which you'd simply ghost. Would that make you a mean person?

Timing is essential nowadays. I'm starting to believe it is that important that the bad timing could kill a really decent game.

 

[Robert28]

Honestly I’d rather be ghosted than put in time and effort over weeks or months and then get the “let’s just be friends” copout. You have nothing invested so it’s easier to move on. Yeah it sucks but trust me, being regulated to friends status sucks way worse. They won’t leave you alone and force you to stay emotionally invested in them and it’s hard to move on. Give me ghosted any day!

 

[sazc]

Plus I don't get the impression that OP is being ghosted any more or less than any other guy on this site

 

[Robert28]

I would rather be ghosted too if it took me weeks or months to find out if a woman had a sexual interest or just wanted to be friends.

You sit me down with a woman over a drink and within the time it takes to watch a movie I will know that, at worst, she will never flake/ghost on me if I suggest another meet. At best, she will be coming home with me when that tab is paid.

Not bragging. That's just where you need to be and operate to be considered good at this stuff.

I’m not ashamed to admit that there’s a good many women out there that are just better at “the game” than I am. And I have 36 years experience and I still get confused and outgamed sometimes. Some women have been through the ringer so many times, dated every type player you can think of that they are better at the game than I am. They can fake interest well. You could sit over a drink with these women and THINK you’re getting somewhere but she’s thinking “this guy thinks he’s getting somewhere but little does he knows he’s about to be my ***** for the next few weeks and I’ll have him believing I’m interested”. Women can fake emotions like you wouldn’t believe, I’ve seen it. If they can fake an orgasm, what’s to say they can’t fake liking you and you’d never know the difference. Also the ones that act like they aren’t interested, actually ARE very interested in you. Had that happen before too.

 

[sangheilios]

I like you and think you have plenty of potential which is why I'm taking this time to write this for you, just once and no more.

Get ur life in order 1st.

You need to uplift ur socioeconomic status through a combination of education, both formal and informal.

If u r not inclined towards learning via the traditional method of getting a degree then at least get a vocational certification like air-conditioning repair, plumbing, electrical wiring, machinists, etc by attending night classes.

Those are high paying skilled jobs and you could even open a small business with enough money to put ur future kids through university.

For now, stop being preoccupied with women, if you need sex or female companionship, pay a professional to fill in the gaps as a temporary measure until things are in good order.

Ur primary mission or ambition right now is to fast track ur career path or prospects in life, economically.

Only then you can proceed to learn the informal education on social interactions through Sosuave and apply it in real life.

I forsee that you'll naturally prosper once you're refocused ur energies and temporarily put women aside.

Take this chance to turn ur life around.

Dang bro u rly need to be put up on some game.

1. Girls give their numbers out like candy. Acting nice and giving the number to guys means nothing.
2. Dont count your eggs before they hatch.
3. You are pizza delivery guy. Your status put you on par with the garbage man. No offense.
4. You are probably texting and giving off some lame nice guy vibes. “Oh hey there im the pizza guy! It was great too meet you im free next week blablabla” dude that chit dont work in this universe

I just finished my degree and I'm going to PT, physical therapy, school next year, it was originally supposed to be this year but certain things had lined up a bit differently for me. With that aside, I make close to $20/hr after taxes, this includes wage + tips, so it really isn't a bad gig at all. Again, this is a part time gig that I have and not a career. Also, I'm currently living in AZ so the cost of living out here is very low compared to many places in the country, so naturally the money I'm making goes a lot farther than say in some major metro area (NYC, LA, etc.).

@Spaz I do have other things going on in my life besides trying to date and have sex with women, though I do realize that is what I solely post about on this forum lol.

 

[sangheilios]

So, first of all, you said you would be free later in the week that's TH/FR right? It is entirely possible she believes there's no need to text you right now, she'll text you later this week.

Texting her immediately the way you did was okay - " this is pizza dude" - but the next text made you look thirsty. You just met the woman, she's a legit stranger, and are giving her a rundown of your schedule and kinda apologizing for not being available.

IMO you should have done what she decided to do to you. Go silent, build the intensity and wonder. You should have waited a few days (because you were busy) and then texted and asked her out.

All is not lost. Do NOT text her. Wait and see if she texts you later this week. She may. She also might not. Since you left the ball in her court do not reach back out to her. You may have to drive a pizza to her again, just be cool, act as if nothing transpired.

As I mentioned on the original post, she replied immediately when I texted this is so and so blah blah blah. About 20 minutes later I just told her I was busy the rest of the night and the next couple days and for her to let me know when she was busy. That's all I said and I had not texted her anything else after that. I deleted the number later last night, as I know she obviously isn't interested.

As for delivering to her again, it's possible but extremely unlikely, as the area within the delivery range is pretty broad in a fairly well populated area with a high volume of orders.

 

[sangheilios]

You didn't have enough time to work on building attraction with her as you were working and needed to move with your tasks for the day. Then you simply overdid the texting. Also, girls don't have much of a problem giving their contacts - for them this falls within the safety zone. They don't have problems chatting right away either. As soon as you throw the offer however, especially if it is a straight date invite, they just back away and go all cold, especially if they didn't have enough time to interact with the guy. Why? Because that could potentially require some action on their end or better yet have them make a decision which essentially pulls them out of their comfort zone.

That being said, ghosting on the guy seems like the safest route for the girl and the least harmful one for the dude trying to date her. Women do this all the time: younger, older, pretty ones, fat ones, 4s, 8s, all of them. You also need to consider that hotter and younger girls would usually have a bunch of social circles around them, plus they'd get hit on all the time - college, work, bars etc. and if you also throw the social networks and dating apps in the mix, the number of guys trying to get her, on a daily basis, is simply huge.

Now, if you'd just look at things from the opposite perspective and imagine you are surrounded by dozens of women every day, many of them offering you all sorts of things, you'd just be very careful and selective with which ones you talk to, which ones you go out with and eventually, there will be some of them on which you'd simply ghost. Would that make you a mean person?

Timing is essential nowadays. I'm starting to believe it is that important that the bad timing could kill a really decent game.

I never said she was a mean person but I get super annoyed and frustrated how nothing I do works.

You're probably too emotionally interested in the outcome to be able to look at these situations objectively, which is preventing you from acting appropriately.

There is a good chance this woman said yes to your date proposal because she was looking at the situation as if it was just some random, cosmic chance of fate that the pizza guy happened to be cute and the one to show up at her door that night to ask her out for a drink.

Sure. Why not. Its a cute beginning.

But you injected doubt into that and may have even gone so far as to give off a stalker vibe, jamming the thought into her head that this pizza guy has her address, phone number, maybe her credit card info, asked her out, texted her twice, wants to know her schedule and is already making plans days in advance after only what was probably a 2 or 3 minute interaction.

Hmm. What went wrong? Big mystery, huh?

You lack objectivity.

I would guess you're having this same effect in other situations that don't pan out for you.

Even good results (such as getting contact info, or a soft yes on a date) from all of these random, cold situations come with them a very low level of emotional investment. Interest level is often short lived and it takes very little for a person to abandon any commitments made or implied. It also takes very little to sabotage that tentative interest.

You may have faired much better suggesting she meet you for a very quick drink nearby after your shift was over. Then text her once letting her know when to meet you there.

You have to move a little quicker to cash in on these positive outcomes, because they are weak and crumble quickly. It is during the drink you can build more comfort, more involvement and emotional attachment to an extent that a woman will more likely follow through, not flake/ghost, etc. from that point forward.

I don't exactly have any control over the outcomes of these situations. The only opportunities I have to meet women are through cold approach and random spontaneous situations that pop up, so naturally those are going to have a very low success rate.

 

[sangheilios]

I’m not ashamed to admit that there’s a good many women out there that are just better at “the game” than I am. And I have 36 years experience and I still get confused and outgamed sometimes. Some women have been through the ringer so many times, dated every type player you can think of that they are better at the game than I am. They can fake interest well. You could sit over a drink with these women and THINK you’re getting somewhere but she’s thinking “this guy thinks he’s getting somewhere but little does he knows he’s about to be my ***** for the next few weeks and I’ll have him believing I’m interested”. Women can fake emotions like you wouldn’t believe, I’ve seen it. If they can fake an orgasm, what’s to say they can’t fake liking you and you’d never know the difference. Also the ones that act like they aren’t interested, actually ARE very interested in you. Had that happen before too.

No offense, but if you've met women that act and think like that you are meeting the wrong ones.....that's the most manipulative and cold hearted thing they could possibly do to a man. For real, what is the benefit to feigning interest like that lol? Is your life really that boring where you need to string me along for literally no reason because of excitement?

I think a lot of them encourage each other to do this, plus the whole instagram attention whoring thing I also feel adds into this.

 

[sangheilios]

Dang bro u rly need to be put up on some game.

1. Girls give their numbers out like candy. Acting nice and giving the number to guys means nothing.
2. Dont count your eggs before they hatch.
3. You are pizza delivery guy. Your status put you on par with the garbage man. No offense.
4. You are probably texting and giving off some lame nice guy vibes. “Oh hey there im the pizza guy! It was great too meet you im free next week blablabla” dude that chit dont work in this universe

Nice guys do finish last.....what should I be saying in a situation like that?

 

[Robert28]

No offense, but if you've met women that act and think like that you are meeting the wrong ones.....that's the most manipulative and cold hearted thing they could possibly do to a man. For real, what is the benefit to feigning interest like that lol? Is your life really that boring where you need to string me along for literally no reason because of excitement?

I think a lot of them encourage each other to do this, plus the whole instagram attention whoring thing I also feel adds into this.

Hate to tell you but meeting the “wrong types of women” is MUCH MUCH easier than meeting the “right types”. There’s so really awful women out there and they are abundant. The devil can disguise himself, remember. Majority of dateable and maryable women are already spoken for, the ones we are coming across every day are damaged and have hardened hearts due to years of their own bad decisions.