How Do I Get This Girl Out Of My Mind?

[soulforge]

Wow I didn't think I would feel this way if things came to an abrupt end... However I am feeling like shyte right now bros.

As your aware I ended things with her over the weekend.

We was seeing each other for around 4 months.

She was a fun person to be around, the sex was amazing and her figure was beautiful.

But the RED FLAGS just kept eating away at me.

Then the incident with me calling her up, and her not taking the call, created further doubts in my mind in regards to how she handles conflict, setting doubts in my mind about a LTR with her.

Why do I feel like a junkie whose had his Crack taken off him?

Deep inside I know things would have turned to shyte long term.. So shouldn't I be feeling relieved instead of saddened?

Is it just shallowness on my part because she was super sexy? I liked her character too, she seemed like a nice enough person, I enjoyed her company.

Some things I could have also handled better with her.. but now I am kicking myself for letting my guard down and going exclusive with her so soon.

She even talked about me moving in with her, meeting her family etc. Got totally sucked into this idea of getting serious with her.

Consider the red flags though.

01.Was abused as a child from the age of 6 upwards.

02.Has self harmed herself at some point.

03.Has worked as a semi nude dancer in bars and clubs.

04.Has done nude modelling, bondage modelling & probably some porn.

05.The guy she did nude modelling for, the photographer stops at her house with her, every other month...

He looks old and ugly, probably in his 60s, but she claims they have never had sex, and wants me to be okay with the situation or for me to be present everytime he comes over.

How can this situation be strictly platonic, when he has photographed or filmed her private parts?

06.She uses cocaine occasionally and has a friend who is addicted to cocaine, that she lends money to.. Financially irresponsible!

07.She has many male friends, and talks about them very often.

08.She has taken part in a 3sum and foursome in the past.

09.She has had a 6 year Lesbian relationship too.

10.She admits to having intamicy issues, due to her history.

11.She makes little effort to text..Usually only hear from her once a day, for a few minutes. The communication between us, was rather brief and regimented.

I have a feeling she will contact me at some point.. I hope to be strong enough to just ignore and move on with shyte.

 

[Medina]

03.Has worked as a semi nude dancer in bars and clubs.

04.Has done nude modelling, bondage modelling & probably some porn.

05.The guy she did nude modelling for, the photographer stops at her house with her, every other month...

07.She has many male friends, and talks about them very often.

08.She has taken part in a 3sum and foursome in the past.

11.She makes little effort to text..Usually only hear from her once a day, for a few minutes. The communication between us, was rather brief and regimented.

I have a feeling she will contact me at some point.. I hope to be strong enough to just ignore and move on with shyte.

You have control issues with these reasons (understandably) and a girl like this will test a man to his limit

She is clearly a mess and you can't change her. Move on

 

[soulforge]

You have control issues with these reasons (understandably) and a girl like this will test a man to his limit

She is clearly a mess and you can't change her. Move on

Its was a tough call to end it.. I usually don't judge people based on there past, but how can I ignore all of the above.

Even the current red flags are worrying.. The first little issue we had, she pulled back, instead of trying to resolve things with clear communication.

Intimacy issues.. Bad or very little communication. Pitfalls ahead.

 

[Glassguy]

I dont mess with women who do any drugs, not my thing. I know the emotional, physical and financial turmoil those people make themselves open to and just dont do it.

The 3 some and 4 some thing really wouldnt bother me if she was just experimenting with her sexual nature.

The lesbian relationship is clearly a red flag. More than likely she will never be submissive. The abuse and self infliction are definite signs of instability.

Run, dont walk from this one. You seem like a relationship type dude and this is not a good path to be going down.

 

[backseatjuan]

With yourmuscles it shouldn’t be a problem. Pssy. @Spaz @Infern0

 

[Alvafe]

Its was a tough call to end it.. I usually don't judge people based on there past, but how can I ignore all of the above.

Even the current red flags are worrying.. The first little issue we had, she pulled back, instead of trying to resolve things with clear communication.

Intimacy issues.. Bad or very little communication. Pitfalls ahead.

tough call? are you really that desperate? only the drug use would make me run from her faster then bolt

best way to get a woman out of your mind is having options

 

[GrowingPains]

Here's how:

Next.

Recognize the way you feel as natural after something you enjoyed immensely comes to an end. Stay true to yourself and realize this was not a good situation. Erase her from your memory by realizing she is not good for you so as a man of principle, why would you let her back in your life. Find new women who deserve to be.

 

[soulforge]

tough call? are you really that desperate? only the drug use would make me run from her faster then bolt

best way to get a woman out of your mind is having options

I went online and did some research on cocaine use.. It seems like cocaine is a HIGHLY addictive drug.. Strong possibility of a person becoming dependent on it.

She claims to only use it occasionally when she is out drinking.. Imagine if I stayed with her, and her 'occasional' cocaine use, became a full on problem.

Also the mixture of alcohol and cocaine can be much worse... Infact it can lower inhibitions, resulting in taking part in risky behaviour.

This got me thinking, she could be out drinking one night, and using cocaine and end up fuking somebody.

I asked her to quit taking it.. However she has a friend who is addicted to cocaine, who is to say she wouldn't get tempted into taking it again, through the influence of her friends.

 

[Alvafe]

I went online and did some research on cocaine use.. It seems like cocaine is a HIGHLY addictive drug.. Strong possibility of a person becoming dependent on it.

She claims to only use it occasionally when she is out drinking.. Imagine if I stayed with her, and her 'occasional' cocaine use, became a full on problem.

Also the mixture of alcohol and cocaine can be much worse... Infact it can lower inhibitions, resulting in taking part in risky behaviour.

This got me thinking, she could be out drinking one night, and using cocaine and end up fuking somebody.

I asked her to quit taking it.. However she has a friend who is addicted to cocaine, who is to say she wouldn't get tempted into taking it again, through the influence of her friends.

all drugs are, hence why they sell it, plus most are not "pure" they mix other things on then so they can sell more, you can't ask a drug user to quit his drug, even if she said yes, she would do it hidden, not considerating the possibility they pay drugs not with money.


and why you are giving me the excuses you accepted to still be with her? drug abuse, bad behavior, and working with selling her body are not something to be forgiven, at max, FWB when you have NOTHING else going on, and that should never happen you should never get that desperate, the problem with her is not only drugs, there is a cornocupia of things who can **** you up. drop and run

 

[soulforge]

all drugs are, hence why they sell it, plus most are not "pure" they mix other things on then so they can sell more, you can't ask a drug user to quit his drug, even if she said yes, she would do it hidden, not considerating the possibility they pay drugs not with money.


and why you are giving me the excuses you accepted to still be with her? drug abuse, bad behavior, and working with selling her body are not something to be forgiven, at max, FWB when you have NOTHING else going on, and that should never happen you should never get that desperate, the problem with her is not only drugs, there is a cornocupia of things who can **** you up. drop and run

Just to clarify.. The nude modelling, and possibly porn she did was in the past.. According to her around 10 years ago.

However its still a murky world she was involved in.. And who is to know that she wouldn't dip into that world again one day, if she got desperate for money.

She is still in contact with the guy she did the modelling with and maybe porn.. He stops at her house sometimes.

Again I don't like this.

But you are right bro.. An addict is ALWAYS going do down play how bad the habit is.

And true.. I know of dealers who have got woman to fvk them, for the drugs.

 

[soulforge]

all drugs are, hence why they sell it, plus most are not "pure" they mix other things on then so they can sell more, you can't ask a drug user to quit his drug, even if she said yes, she would do it hidden, not considerating the possibility they pay drugs not with money.


and why you are giving me the excuses you accepted to still be with her? drug abuse, bad behavior, and working with selling her body are not something to be forgiven, at max, FWB when you have NOTHING else going on, and that should never happen you should never get that desperate, the problem with her is not only drugs, there is a cornocupia of things who can **** you up. drop and run

Even her admitting to having INTAMICY issues alone, can bring so many problems to a relationship.

I noticed the intamicy was a little awkward with her.

 

[zekko]

That's a lot of red flags... So I'm going to assume you did the right thing dumping her.

Obviously there were things you really liked about this girl, so naturally it's going to hurt some. Just call yourself a pvssy for getting so attached to someone you know isn't right for you. Do that without judging yourself if possible. Lifting weights can involve some discomfort too, but we power through.

Make a list of the positives that come with being split up with her, and look at those when you're feeling desperate. It's always better to look at the bright side, and at new opportunities that await you. Learn your lesson, what did you learn from this experience? Performing right actions can also help you move on with your life.

Just an observation here: Notice that separating can be painful whether you are the dumper or the dumpee.

Cocaine, it's a helluva drug.

 

[SoSuave666]

Your thoughts were cloudy because of her attractiveness and also probably a bit because she’s the hottest piece of azz you had since your ex. So you inflated her value and now that the value is gone you are left with a validation hole.

Make yourself your own mental point of origin. Most important advice you can ever receive. She had so many red flags that a man of high value with loads of options would have AT BEST smashed and dashed. Not even worthy of plate status unless you can separate emotions from sex.

 

[soulforge]

Your thoughts were cloudy because of her attractiveness and also probably a bit because she’s the hottest piece of azz you had since your ex. So you inflated her value and now that the value is gone you are left with a validation hole.

Make yourself your own mental point of origin. Most important advice you can ever receive. She had so many red flags that a man of high value with loads of options would have AT BEST smashed and dashed. Not even worthy of plate status unless you can separate emotions from sex.

The writing was on the wall.. She should have been nothing more than plate status..

However the great sex attractiveness clouded my judgement.

Partly I felt like, most of that stuff was from her past and I shouldn't judge her for it now.

The biggest obstacle is TRUSTING a girl like this if you enter onto a LTR

I didn't want the to deal with all the problems I could be facing months or years down the line..

Especially if her 'Ocassional' cocaine use, became a full blown addiction.

 

[soulforge]

That's a lot of red flags... So I'm going to assume you did the right thing dumping her.

Obviously there were things you really liked about this girl, so naturally it's going to hurt some. Just call yourself a pvssy for getting so attached to someone you know isn't right for you. Do that without judging yourself if possible. Lifting weights can involve some discomfort too, but we power through.

Make a list of the positives that come with being split up with her, and look at those when you're feeling desperate. It's always better to look at the bright side, and at new opportunities that await you. Learn your lesson, what did you learn from this experience? Performing right actions can also help you move on with your life.

Just an observation here: Notice that separating can be painful whether you are the dumper or the dumpee.

Cocaine, it's a helluva drug.

The dumper can experience equal or even more pain than the dumpee, if for example it was due to a forced dumping.

I still like her personality, and very attracted to her.. But the rest of the Red Flags turn me the fuk off.

 

[marmel75]

You were way too emotionally invested in a woman you shouldn't have been or else you'd see the situation for what it was and still be banging her, not for what you wanted it to be.

 

[Robert28]

My recent ex was a prior cocaine user and she freely talked about it. To be honest I don’t know if she still did it behind my back or not, I would have no idea. She even made the comment to me one night as we were driving down the road “you know what would be sexy? If you snorted a line off my stomach”. Wtf? I mean, really. Another thing I didn’t like was she smoked weed a lot. What made it worse was she had a guy she bought it from that would bring it by her house. The more I read your post the more I think about my ex lol Well she never did nude modeling or porn.....that I know of anyways. She would lie by omission so there’s no telling what all she did.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

The writing was on the wall.. She should have been nothing more than plate status..

However the great sex attractiveness clouded my judgement.

Partly I felt like, most of that stuff was from her past and I shouldn't judge her for it now.

The biggest obstacle is TRUSTING a girl like this if you enter onto a LTR

I didn't want the to deal with all the problems I could be facing months or years down the line..

Especially if her 'Ocassional' cocaine use, became a full blown addiction.

My ex was similar. Lots of issues growing up, alcoholic tendencies, and pulling away rather than wanting to talk things out, but I was mesmorized by that good pusy. Same thing, I began to doubt I could trust her, but I made the mistake of doubting myself and compromising on my principles.

It's painful because there were parts of her you liked and you identified with the relationship. But it's like that video someone posted a while back, if you love yourself at 20% and someone comes along and loves you at 30% you're going to go 'wow that's so much love!' when in reality it's nothing and you can do so much better. Take your time, hit the gym, meditate, travel, until your mind is solid again, then get some other women in your life. Maybe you were never whole by yourself but now is your chance. Not being emotionally bound to women is a beautiful thing.

Pain and a lesson are two sides of the same coin, focus on what the lesson is.

 

[17 shots]

Is this the same chick that was driving 2 hours to see you

 

[Dash Riprock]

OP, We've all been where you are, including me.

Some advice:

Until you kill the neediness and co-dependency you'll keep ending up with women like this. You see yourself as a lower-quality man, hence, even at the subconscious level, you continue to stay with (very) low quality women. How do I know this? Because you were considering giving this girl your treasure which is your time and commitment just to be with her, even long-term, considering/despite all the red flags. That's quite a toxic list.

You appear to be someone who values honesty and a healthy lifestyle, so why would you waste time with a low quality woman like that? Answer: If you feel lonely and needy and are driven by impulses about the sex and looks without having long-term perspective about what it would be like in a LTR with this woman.

Good for you for dumping her. Seriously. She's trash. You'll realize this once the clouds part but I fear she'll lure you back in with some tears and sex because they're powerful weapons for 98% of all guys out there.

As you get a bit older, most guys (not all) will start to realize that the driving force in their life should NOT be the approval and acceptance from some woman. Sadly, for many ,men, this is their life's goal: to be accepted and loved by a woman. Why? Low self esteem, low self value, co-dependency, fear, and neediness. Great qualities, huh? Yeah, these guys are a great catch. Ironically, some of these guys have money so women recruit them as the Beta Male Provider--and the man loves it. I just cannot in a million years get my arms around that line of thinking but we see these guys all the time in society.

I've learned to see women as a very small side dish on a huge plate of food. I've gotten MUCH more selective of who I give my time and attention to (my treasure) because I don't want or have time for BS. I've dumped a number of HB8-9s in the past few years because of the toxic behavior they displayed. I'm a very high value man and know it. I don't NEED a woman, I choose to spend my time with them. The ones I've learned to select have a healthy lifestyle, solid personality, and don't have the toxic laundry list you mentioned.

TLDR: Kill your neediness and co-dependency and seek out and date ONLY high-quality women.

Good luck.

~Dash