I Messed Things Up With Her.. I Think

[Atom Smasher]

I still see this as a tempest in a teapot. I don't see why this isn't already handled.

You're the man. It's up to you to approach her with a meeting, talk it out and put it to bed. The one who is responsible for the overall tone and operation of a relationship is the man.

Just tell her you want to discuss what happened lately and resolve it, and meet with her. I would tell her that I shouldn't have agreed to wake up calls, that waking up is her responsibility, but I would also say I shouldn't have reacted out of frustration. Let's hit the "reset" switch and move on.

Take care of it, brother, so you don't have to fret about it and write about it. It has grown bigger than it needs to be. Right now it's just rotting on the shelf so if I were you I'd proactively handle it.

 

[soulforge]

I still see this as a tempest in a teapot. I don't see why this isn't already handled.

You're the man. It's up to you to approach her with a meeting, talk it out and put it to bed. The one who is responsible for the overall tone and operation of a relationship is the man.

Just tell her you want to discuss what happened lately and resolve it, and meet with her. I would tell her that I shouldn't have agreed to wake up calls, that waking up is her responsibility, but I would also say I shouldn't have reacted out of frustration. Let's hit the "reset" switch and move on.

Take care of it, brother, so you don't have to fret about it and write about it. It has grown bigger than it needs to be. Right now it's just rotting on the shelf so if I were you I'd proactively handle it.

Atom I have already handled this, and spoke to her on the phone about.. She seems ok with things and is meeting me this weekend.

My reservations are more about her red flags though.

 

[Murk]

@soulforge

This is a long thread and I don’t have the time to read it all, few key thing that stand out:

You care too much

This girl hasn’t conformed to your frame

She’s used you (albeit o lot as an alarm clock)

She’s semi ghosted you (to the point you e repeatedly asked if you should text her back)

Maintain the fvcking frame player!

Don’t reach out. If she wants to let this go over this, fine, she want worth it in the first place.

Stop asking if you should reach out to amend things! If you’ve done nothing wrong amending should be on her part.

Calibration:

To swing this in your favour you need to leave her alone, no texts, you’re a high value male and if you checking her makes her retreat, she’s not good for you (see initial points)

Now I know you’re a good looking dude who can get options, why are you not displaying this?

It’s a 6 page thread so maybe some of his has been said or answered by you but please don’t put your eggs in this basket.

Your terms, say nothing, move on.

Good luck bro

 

[soulforge]

I decided to dump her Ass and go cold turkey.

This chick has too many red flags..

01. Was abused as a child from the age of 6 upwards.

02. Has self harmed herself on a few occasions.

03. Has worked as a nude dancer in bars and clubs

04. Has done nude modelling and porn

05. The guy she did nude modelling for, the photographer stops at her house with her, every other month... She claims they have never fuked, but still not a good situation for a dude to be stopping over with her.

06. Uses cocaine occasionally and has freinds who are addicted to cocaine, that she lends money to. Financially irresponsible!

07.Has many male friends, and talks about them all the time.

08.Has taken part in a 3sum and foursome before.

09.Has had a 6 year Lesbian relationship.

10.Admits to having intamicy issues.

11.Makes very little effort to text or ring me.. Usually only hear from her once a day, for a few minutes.


The list goes on... She is super hot... But a terrible prospect for a relationship.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I decided to dump her Ass and go cold turkey.

This chick has too many red flags..

01. Was abused as a child from the age of 6 upwards.

02. Has self harmed herself on a few occasions.

03. Has worked as a nude dancer in bars and clubs

04. Has done nude modelling and porn

05. The guy she did nude modelling for, the photographer stops at her house with her, every other month... She claims they have never fuked, but still not a good situation for a dude to be stopping over with her.

06. Uses cocaine occasionally and has freinds who are addicted to cocaine, that she lends money to. Financially irresponsible!

07.Has many male friends, and talks about them all the time.

08.Has taken part in a 3sum and foursome before.

09.Has had a 6 year Lesbian relationship.

10.Admits to having intamicy issues.

11.Makes very little effort to text or ring me.. Usually only hear from her once a day, for a few minutes.


The list goes on... She is super hot... But a terrible prospect for a relationship.

Was likely a good fvck till she got unreliable or flakey or dramatic. Couldn't worry about for a relationship.

 

[soulforge]

Was likely a good fvck till she got unreliable or flakey or dramatic. Couldn't worry about for a relationship.

Even though she is hot and the sex is great.. And I do actually have some feelings for her.

Look at the list of red flags man.. Pursuing a relationship with her is a DISASTER waiting to happen.

Dumping her and cold turkey is the best option.

Short term pain.. But will be a long term gain.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Even though she is hot and the sex is great.. And I do actually have some feelings for her.

Look at the list of red flags man.. Pursuing a relationship with her is a DISASTER waiting to happen.

Dumping her and cold turkey is the best option.

Short term pain.. But will be a long term gain.

Key was "relationship" if you could treat her as a actress type or entertainer and do what you need to do it'll be fine.

 

[soulforge]

Key was "relationship" if you could treat her as a actress type or entertainer and do what you need to do it'll be fine.

Easier said than done man.. Once you catch feelings for a girl like this, you are likely to end up with scars further down the line.

I'm already too involved.. Keeping her around just for sex, again is too risky.

Sometimes you have to listen to your gut instinct.

 

[soulforge]

@soulforge

This is a long thread and I don’t have the time to read it all, few key thing that stand out:

You care too much

This girl hasn’t conformed to your frame

She’s used you (albeit o lot as an alarm clock)

She’s semi ghosted you (to the point you e repeatedly asked if you should text her back)

Maintain the fvcking frame player!

Don’t reach out. If she wants to let this go over this, fine, she want worth it in the first place.

Stop asking if you should reach out to amend things! If you’ve done nothing wrong amending should be on her part.

Calibration:

To swing this in your favour you need to leave her alone, no texts, you’re a high value male and if you checking her makes her retreat, she’s not good for you (see initial points)

Now I know you’re a good looking dude who can get options, why are you not displaying this?

It’s a 6 page thread so maybe some of his has been said or answered by you but please don’t put your eggs in this basket.

Your terms, say nothing, move on.

Good luck bro

I dumped her today bruv.... please read the list of red flags below.

01. Abused as a child from age 6 and onwards

02. Started semi nude dancing in bars and clubs at an early age

03. Has done nude modelling, and pornography in the past

04. The guy who used to take nude modeling pics of her, is 60 something years old, and comes over to stop at her house every few months.. She insists they have never had sex and its pure platonic... but this situation does not sit well with me...She wasted me to be HAPPY with this arrangement

05. She takes cocaine occasionally and probably meets a dealer to buy it, plus one of her friends has a cocaine addiction.

06. She has MANY male friends and keeps mentioning them

07. She admits to having intamicy issues, she doesn't show much affection even with me, she was quite reserved.

08. She doesn't text me much... in the 4 months of seeing her, NEVER got a single morning text off her... I get the odd phone call from her in the evening or a quick text conversation.. but communication between dates was very little and regimented.

09. She makes very little effort to arrange dates.. It felt so one sided.

10. You are also aware of me getting a little annoyed with her, for missing my call in the morning... I think she took things too far with, and made a HUGE deal out of something not so big.

11. She mentioned doing a 3sum and a 4sum before... and was up for trying it with me.

12. She also had a 8 year Lesbian relationship

 

[sazc]

Good for you @soulforge

I wonder if it was the emotional push pull of her background, and you wanting to White Knight a little for her, that got you a little invested.

Reading your posts I can tell you want to invest in someone. That's an amazing quality. Make sure you choose to invest in a woman that's a really good long term bet.

 

[soulforge]

Good for you @soulforge

I wonder if it was the emotional push pull of her background, and you wanting to White Knight a little for her, that got you a little invested.

Reading your posts I can tell you want to invest in someone. That's an amazing quality. Make sure you choose to invest in a woman that's a really good long term bet.

There wasn't much White Knighting to be fair... I didn't do loads for her..

I liked her personality... But more over I think I was into her hotness, amazing body and great sex.

She was fun to be around with too... But I could tell something was wrong.

She didn't make much effort in regards to communication and I was the one arranging most of the dates.

But the biggest problem was the long list of red flags.. And this feeling that I couldn't trust her in the long run.

I'm actually saddened for ending it... But if I didn't and just continued with her, I am certain I would be in a much WORSE situation down the line

 

[soulforge]

I think her "red flags" is just rationalization for her refusal to be shaped by you. You should set the tone early. My last LTR I literally scolded her and told her to stop sending me instagram pics of food she eats. It eventually led to other forms of "verbal abuse," where I would scold her during sex and "punish" her by making her do things in bed. But she loved every minute of it. Of course not every woman "falls into my frame." But my best plates are the ones that allow me to shape them, dominate them, punish them in bed, and scold them for frivolous stuff. They know it's just a joke. Personally, I think all guys need to shape women. If she doesn't allow it, then you will find yourself in these never ending frame battles. I think what your girl needed was someone to pull out the whip and chains, lol. Handcuffs, etc. You can even play around with her and "punish her." (You know what I mean.)

I understand.. I'm never afraid to scold a chick.. And I did her several times... Especially when she asked me to call in the mornings and then didn't pick up.

The bigger issue was the red flags... The relationship went into exclusive stage...

And it should have always remained plate ONLY

 

[marmel75]

I decided to dump her Ass and go cold turkey.

This chick has too many red flags..

01. Was abused as a child from the age of 6 upwards.

02. Has self harmed herself on a few occasions.

03. Has worked as a nude dancer in bars and clubs

04. Has done nude modelling and porn

05. The guy she did nude modelling for, the photographer stops at her house with her, every other month... She claims they have never fuked, but still not a good situation for a dude to be stopping over with her.

06. Uses cocaine occasionally and has freinds who are addicted to cocaine, that she lends money to. Financially irresponsible!

07.Has many male friends, and talks about them all the time.

08.Has taken part in a 3sum and foursome before.

09.Has had a 6 year Lesbian relationship.

10.Admits to having intamicy issues.

11.Makes very little effort to text or ring me.. Usually only hear from her once a day, for a few minutes.


The list goes on... She is super hot... But a terrible prospect for a relationship.

Then why try and have a relationship? Just fvck her. I dont get why guys try and turn ho's into housewives so often.

If the sex is good and she is hot then why the need to dump her unless you are the one secretly pushing for and\or wanting the relationship.

 

[Atom Smasher]

One lesson to be learned here is that we should never use women as a drug.

This is a classic case of the woman’s sexuality eclipsing the man’s ability to judge her suitability.

This originates from a sense of lack. Here’s a girl who a man finds sexually attractive, and there is an element of surprise that such a sexually desirable woman is responding to him.

Enter the “high”, the temporary elation that blinds us to the BRIGHT RED flags that are screaming for our attention, but we do not see.

This, gents, is why I’m always preaching about judging women. She would never have even been a contender had soulforge judges her as unsuitable right from the start.

We men need to get away from the understandable but self-destructive habit of running and devouring every morsel that falls off the table.

We need to define our standards and adhere to them and judge each candidate for suitability.

Why don’t we do this? I’m convinced it’s due to a sense of lack, as I said above. It’s also fear of rejection.

Get back in the driver’s seat of your lives, men. All women should be judged and called out for bratty and other inappropriate behavior and speech.

You think you will become an insufferable AH if you do that, don’t you? Au contraire, my friends. You will become respected and attractive. This is because within this framework, you will have room to be the decent, friendly, and fun man that most of us would like to be.

 

[soulforge]

Then why try and have a relationship? Just fvck her. I dont get why guys try and turn ho's into housewives so often.

If the sex is good and she is hot then why the need to dump her unless you are the one secretly pushing for and\or wanting the relationship.

Well this is it man... I did eventually WANT the relationship... I had developed FEELINGS for her... This is why I felt, dumping and going Cold Turkey was the only option..

If there was no feelings... Then offcourse I would continue banging away!

 

[soulforge]

One lesson to be learned here is that we should never use women as a drug.

This is a classic case of the woman’s sexuality eclipsing the man’s ability to judge her suitability.

This originates from a sense of lack. Here’s a girl who a man finds sexually attractive, and there is an element of surprise that such a sexually desirable woman is responding to him.

Enter the “high”, the temporary elation that blinds us to the BRIGHT RED flags that are screaming for our attention, but we do not see.

This, gents, is why I’m always preaching about judging women. She would never have even been a contender had soulforge judges her as unsuitable right from the start.

We men need to get away from the understandable but self-destructive habit of running and devouring every morsel that falls off the table.

We need to define our standards and adhere to them and judge each candidate for suitability.

Why don’t we do this? I’m convinced it’s due to a sense of lack, as I said above. It’s also fear of rejection.

Get back in the driver’s seat of your lives, men. All women should be judged and called out for bratty and other inappropriate behavior and speech.

You think you will become an insufferable AH if you do that, don’t you? Au contraire, my friends. You will become respected and attractive. This is because within this framework, you will have room to be the decent, friendly, and fun man that most of us would like to be.

Some real talk here from Atom.

The crazy thing is, initially I was judging this woman and instinctively KNEW she was not a quality chick & probably damaged.

I didn't trust her much from day one.

So I kept her around just for the sex..

However the more time I spent with her, the more she grew on me, and I started to entertain the idea of a relationship with her.

The sex was fukin ADDICTIVE and I didn't want the ride to end.

The red flags where still there, but I began to convince myself that it could work out... Maybe she has changed.

This recent incident, made me finally realise that I am emotionally invested in this chick, and months or years down the line, she could possibly destroy me.

This morning I decided to cut the cord, and put an end to it..

I was entertaining the idea of reverting back to plate and keeping her around for sex...

But who am I kidding.. Cold Turkey is the only way now.

 

[lamath]

Some real talk here from Atom.

The crazy thing is, initially I was judging this woman and instinctively KNEW she was not a quality chick & probably damaged.

I didn't trust her much from day one.

So I kept her around just for the sex..

However the more time I spent with her, the more she grew on me, and I started to entertain the idea of a relationship with her.

The sex was fukin ADDICTIVE and I didn't want the ride to end.

The red flags where still there, but I began to convince myself that it could work out... Maybe she has changed.

This recent incident, made me finally realise that I am emotionally invested in this chick, and months or years down the line, she could possibly destroy me.

This morning I decided to cut the cord, and put an end to it..

I was entertaining the idea of reverting back to plate and keeping her around for sex...

But who am I kidding.. Cold Turkey is the only way now.

frog in hot water is good analogy here.
that how they get to you.

hopefully your are not taking it too hard

 

[soulforge]

frog in hot water is good analogy here.
that how they get to you.

hopefully your are not taking it too hard

I kid you not Bruv... Its like coming off an addictive drug.

Some of these hot, sexy and damaged woman can leave a man craving like a druggy craves Crack.

Its going to take weeks to shake this feeling off bro.

I even considered the idea, if I was possibly dealing with a BDP

The damaged background.. Highly sexed.. She tried to get me to go exclusive VERY quick.

Month 3 she was suggesting moving in with her.. Month 4 she wanted me to meet her family..

 

[Roober]

Come on man. Your still making simple mistakes; you have a long way to go.

You should have laughed at her stupid request. Everyone has an alarm clock on their phone, smart home devices, etc. Alarm clocks are literally everywhere...

Next you should look at her request. Why did she do it? What are you doing wrong where she thinks your her parents? Her request for you to "wake her up" is disrespectful, and illustrates how sideways your interactions have already become.

And don't blame her. Her actions are merely a response to something you have or have not done.